What if Episode 1 was good? Like...really good.
A while ago Belated Media and Banditincorporated on Youtube proposed that same question and set about to rewrite the first three films in their own ways. I bring them up now for a few reasons.
1. I am not the first to do this and I wish to acknowledge that.
2. Because I have borrowed elements from these versions, not out of wanting to rip them off which is why I credit them here, but also in order to serve to incorporate these rewrites of the prequel films into my own planned shared continuity and with the way it is planned out I cannot do that without mentioning events in the prequel, so I chose to rewrite the films first.
These films will be radically different from what George Lucas presented to us. I will be doing the Prequel Trilogies,(sadly not Knights of the Old Republic and The Old Republic games as I have not played them and would not do them justice I believe, though you may consider them Canon with some slight changes as we'll see. I will also be doing Star Wars: The Clone Wars( a merging of both series to have that name) and Star Wars:Rebels rewrites to fit them into my own continuity, along with The Force Unleashed Video Game, the Novel Death Troopers(which I must get around to buying and reading then rewriting or continuing depending on my thoughts, which will be released somewhere around the Halloween season), Shadows of the Empire and all its crossover media, and a 3 part series set between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, combining elements of the new universe and the now dubbed "Legends"canon such as Admiral Thrawn(though this may change with Rebels Season 3 using him) and Mara Jade. The only thing that will be untouched is the Original Trilogy and this rewrite will work to fit specifically into the continuity of those films. The rest I will rewrite depending if it conflicts with my stories. I honestly enjoyed The Force Awakens but if enough people request i'll rewrite that as well. I will be going chronologically.
With that said. Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you the Rewrite of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.
BEGIN
Authors' Note: In the original Phantom Menace,The opening text crawl alone seemed out of place in Star Wars with its mention of trade, banking disputes, and negotiations. So to rewrite the text, The new opening crawl goes like this:
A long long time ago in a galaxy far,
far away...
The massive words STAR WARS appear before us. They float in space and move away slowly. The music roars triumphantly. The words finally fade.
new words float upward at an angle in space.
For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights have been the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.
Under the governing of the Galactic Republic, and the watchful eye of the Jedi Council, made up of the most wise and powerful of the order. The Republic has enjoyed over a century of peace and prosperity.
However, the council has sensed a disturbance in the force, rippling out from beyond the Republic's borders, Concerned that this may signal a return of the Sith. The evil, blood enemies of the Jedi.
The council has sent hundreds of Jedi out to search the most distant sectors of space; known as the Outer Rim, to discover the source of this disturbance.
two such Jedi, have just discovered what seems to be a void in the force...
A small ship resembling a black imperial shuttle in some way, and bearing the republic insignia makes its way to a green and blue planet.
We first see the Jedi from behind and see only the back of their heads, looking outward into space to keep them a mystery. The camera cuts between the two backs. We do not yet know who they are and as they talk some may believe that they are Anakin and Obi Wan Kenobi but they are in reality Qui Gonn Jinn and Obi Wan Kenobi. Obi Wan is young and impulsive, hungry for action in a time of peace where he believes the Jedi serve as nothing more than glorified bodyguards. Obi Wan turns sharply to face Qui Gonn beside him and we see the side of his face, revealing him as Ewan McGregor. He complains about the dullness the two have had and lack of excitement. Qui Gonn speaks to him and sits down on a nearby chair. He states that Obi Wan should consider himself lucky, for he is too young to have experienced the nightmare that was the sith. As he speaks the older Jedi seems to stare into space, lost in thought. There are flashes of a figure in silhouette with a red Lightsaber and fire surrounding him. We are mentally reminded of old Ben many years down the line staring down somberly as he tells Luke how his father was betrayed and murdered by Darth Vader. Qui Gonn recalls how savage and brutal the Sith were, slaughtering many Jedi. The silhouette is seen with a red saber slicing someone as a blood curling scream is released. Foreboding music plays but then comes to a stop when Qui Gonn stops talking and looks back up at Obi Wan, realizing he is distracted. He ends his thoughts with "...those were dark times..Be glad they are over."
Qui Gonn's somber mood is broken by a pilot entering to tell the Jedi they are approaching Alderaan. Qui Gonn leads Obi Wan to the front of the ship.
They reached the cockpit and stood behind the seats of the pilots as the one that had went to get them took his seat. They could now only see mist as they descended to the planet surface. A radar flashed, indicating the source of the disturbance the Jedi had been sent to investigate. The ship shook and then something pierced through the fog and the window and killed one of the pilots, followed by another shot hitting the other. The shots appeared to be bullets, something which made Qui Gonn stop and stare as he analyzed the strange projectile.
Qui Gonn grabbed Obi wan and pulled him to the back away from the cockpit a moment before the cockpit was ripped open from decompressions a result of the whole in the glass. He pressed a button and the back of the ship opened, exposing an area meant to load it. The two Jedi grabbed the sides of the opening.
Qui Gonn: Jump on my mark!
Qui Gonn:Now!
The two jumped out of the opening and into a body of water several feet below them. The ship was hit and exploded in the air above them. The two Jedi slowly emerged from the water and walked to shore in soaked clothing. They walked through the jungle, further and further away from the lake.
Qui Gonn:Can you sense anything with the force?
Obi-Wan noticed now that the forest was unnaturally silent, there were no cries of animals, bird or insect, or otherwise, and this scared him.
Obi-Wan:Strange. I can't sense anything. Not even a single lifeform.
Qui Gonn:Neither can.
Qui Gonn gestured with his hand upward and Ob-Wan spotted a large lizard like creature, it's arms wrapped around a tree branch,peaking down at the both of them before returning its gaze to its front as it climbs slowly up the tree.
Obi-Wan:So there is life here, but why can't we sense it?
Qui Gonn:It's a Ysalamir.
Obi-Wan:a what?
Qui Gonn:It's a creature that lives on worlds rich with force energy. They've been exposed to it for so long they create a sort of bubble around themselves that keeps out the force.
Obi Wan:Why wasn't I briefed about them?
The gaze of the Jedi moved and they spotted many tree branches where the Ysalamir were gathered together, lying on top of one another, the creature's yellow tinted hides made them stick out in the green.
Obi-Wan:Well that explains why we can't sense anything
Qui Gonn: They're not native to this planet. Someone must have imported them here.
Obi-Wan:Someone went to a lot of effort to hide whatever's here.
The two Jedi made their way through the jungle. They treaded until they reached a cliffside. The view exposed a large facility embedded in the side of a mountain. Both jedi crouched down, Obi Wan took out a pair of binoculars. Qui Gonn touched the soil beneath him with his outstretched hand.
Qui Gonn:I think most of that place is underground.
The entrance of the compound opened and an army stepped out, marching. They wielded large weapons and all wore armor complete with helmets. Obi Wan continued to watch them with his binoculars. When the large army was outside, inhabiting a massive platform. the army commander shouted in a thick monstrous voice. The soldiers removed their helmets to reveal they were all hideous monsters with slick skin, pointed ears, sharp teeth and horrifying yellow eyes but what was more striking then their appearance is that each was identical to the one next to it. They were all identical.
Obi-Wan:They must be Clones.
Qui Gonn:And if I had to guess our friends in the trees are clones as well. This is very troubling. We must warn the Jedi cancel at once.
A Clone climbed a tree nearby and upon perching itself in a good position,opened fire on them. Qui Gonn grabbed Obi Wan's neck with one hand and pushed him down while he himself took cover from the shots. Obi Wan drew his lightsaber and hurled it at the tree stump. It cut through the bark and and a large part of the tree fell including the large branch the Clone Sniper had been leaning fell and Qui Gonn shifted the large tree branch in the direction the clone had fallen with the clone was impaled and died immediately. The clone's head fell back along with it's arms, which now hung in the air as the body had been impaled. Gonn got up and moved towards the corpse.
Qui Gonn:Come. We must hide the shots were quiet. they may not have been heard at this distance but there may be more nearby.
Obi-Wan looked at the hole in the tree and pulled out what nearly killed him. It was a metallic cylinder like shell. He held it and stared at it.
Obi-Wan:Odd Weapon.
He walked towards Qui Gon while looking at the bullet in one of his hands.
Obi-Wan:How do they plan to kill a Jedi with weapons like these?
Qui Gonn:They almost killed you
The two jedi departed. When they walked by the dead clone, Qui Gonn with one wave of his hand used the force to lift both the branch, the body impaled on it and the part of the tree left behind. When the tree was removed the ground shifted around to replace the obstructed patch of soil, covering it up and making it look like there was never a tree there at all.
The body of the clone and the parts of the tree were thrown into the lake the Jedi had landed in.
Qui Gonn: Come.
Qui Gonn started walking.
Obi Wan:Where are we going?
Qui Gonn:The Capitol city of Alderaan. We should be able to make contact with the Jedi Council from there.
CAPITOL CITY OF ALDERAAN
Unlike most planets in the system Alderaan had many ecosystems. There was another more temperate forest on the other side which gave way to a field where ran a river. The river traveled to the Capitol city, which sat halfway between the green and the white snow covered mountains. It was a beautiful day. The city itself was cybernetic in design. The structures seemed alive. Padme Naberie was looking out over a balcony which provided a view of the third ecosystem of the planet, the Jungle, much greener and lively then the temperate forest yet less visited for fear of the many creatures that inhabited it. She could see the lake and the warm sun, the miracle and the paradox of weather the planet created never ceased to amaze her. The balcony and temple for which she was visiting was in the old style, made of clay and stone. Stone pots sat on the balcony sides filled with bushes of red flowers.
"Lady Padme! Lady Padme!"
Her protocol droid C-3PO barged in on her quiet moment.
"Lady Padme! What are you doing here!? Shouldn't you be getting ready for the wedding?"
Padme:I needed some time to myself 3PO.
Her tone seemed trouble.
C-3PO:Why whatever is the matter Lady Padme? I mean surely you can't be nervous.
Padme was looking outward towards the balcony, ignoring C-3PO entirely when she acted like she saw something, suddenly her body language turned to one of seriousness. She put her hand over 3PO's mouth,stopping his incessant talking.
Padme:get my father at once.
She ran off immediately.3PO looked in the direction she had looked and just over a hill there were two figures who looked to be Jedi running in their direction.
ALDERAAN
Obi-Wan and Qui Gonn entered a beautiful courtyard filled with old palace architecture, such as a fountain in the middle and buildings made of rock. It was an enclosed area, surrounded by walls on all sides, but the sky was exposed. Four figures clad in clothing that signaled them at an eye's notice to be Royalty greeted the two Jedi.
Qui Gonn: Your highness I need to contact the Jedi Council at once.
Qui Gonn spoke to a young man wearing a military uniform with many metals on it.
?: Come with me.
The figure left and Qui Gonn followed. Obi-Wan stayed behind and awkwardly looked towards the three others who had not followed. He spotted a child peeking behind a nearby pillar. He walked towards the child and kneeled down to face him.
The apprentice: Hello. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. I sense you have a lot of questions you'd like to ask a Jedi. I understand you're scared but you have no reason to fear me. It is our duty to protect you, not to scare you.
The Kid:If Jedi are so come they carry Lightsabers?
The child spoke softly yet curiously.
Obi-Wan:what these things?
Obi-Wan pulled out his lightsaber and held it out.
Obi-Wan:In the old days of the Jedi we were at war with the Sith. They learned that while the Jedi can manipulate the force, energy, now that's particularly tricky. It doesn't have a solid mass for you to control.
He held the lightsaber down with one hand and extended the beam, lifting up slowly. The kid jumped when it was activated. It glowed heat. Obi-Wan held it away so the kid would have to make an effort to harm himself with it. Yet he was amazed as he looked at the blade.
Obi-Wan:This is pure energy. We had to adopt it ourselves to stand a chance, now it's the symbol of the Jedi.
The Kid: But you have the force? Why would you need a weapon?
Something about the way the kid spoke touched Obi-Wan. It was adorable yet not annoying to him, more enduring rather.
Obi-Wan: I don't know everything about the force. I learned that early on. I was a very cocky Youngling myself.
The Kid:really?
Obi-Wan:oh yes, Master Qui Gonn almost gave up on me, so did most of the Jedi. Only one insisted on keeping me around and he saw hope in me when even I had given up, and his name was Master Yoda.
The Kid:Master Yoda?
Obi-Wan:Oh yes, he took me under his wing and vowed he could make me a wise and noble Jedi.
The Kid:How'd he do that?
Obi-Wan:Years of practice but one thing I will always remember is this.
He pointed towards the boy like a teacher trying to get him to focus.
Obi-Wan:The Jedi have the power to transfer some of their own power to another, only problem with it is if you're young and inexperienced.
Images of that day appeared. In Obi Wan's mind he saw the silhouette of his younger self arguing and shouting to the still unmoving figure of Yoda. His words where in difficult to make out but he could tell they were loud and hostile.
Obi-Wan:I thought I knew everything about the force, but then Yoda showed me.
In the scene within his mind, the shadow of Yoda lifted a small hand. This time when Obi-Wan spoke to the kid he was focused on his vision. He could only see it and hear his own voice.
Obi-Wan: While I was angry he transferred a fraction of his power to me when I didn't notice.
The silhouette of young Obi Wan now bathed in shadow with a light cast upon it lifted it's hands in a roar that sounded slowed down. The light helped illuminate the silhouette's features such as part of it's skin and the teeth as the mouth roared the roar of a young child. The building the two had been in immediately shatter and crumbled around them. The young Obi-Wan turned to face the back wall that had crumbled. His surprised eyes were visible in the light along with his slightly open mouth. His next move was to put his hand over this head and duck down. The domelike structure the two had been in had completely collapsed. The young Obi-Wan slowly recovered and rose to look at what he had done. The entire room was now exposed to the outside and the young boy looked around him to see all of the city planet the temple resided on. After he finished looking around he looked at Yoda, but in the vision in his head, while Obi-Wan spoke he imagined the back of Yoda's head only, facing towards the young man, like he was viewing the scene form behind the Jedi Master.
Obi-Wan: He taught me that day that I had more to learn. He also taught me that we all had the capacity for great good and great evil.
The next image was the two small figures looking out towards the cityscape of the planet. As if his vision was a camera, the view slowly backed away from the two as they stood there and looked forward. He saw their backs only. The part of the temple started to reform, as part of Yoda's doing. The destroyed building soon reformed and as the vision backed away so did the wall that had previously been in front of it, resulting in total blackness once it had reformed itself.
In the present the child's mouth was slightly open.
The Kid:wow...
Obi-Wan Smiled slightly at this minor victory.
The Kid: You can transfer some of your power to someone else.
Obi-Wan:oh yes. We use it mostly to heal injuries.
The Kid:Have you ever had a whole bunch of Jedi send their power to one Jedi?
Obi-Wan turned slightly more serious.
Obi-Wan:No...I'm afraid that would be to dangerous, might kill the Jedi who receives all the power, even if they survived. No one Jedi should have that much power. It could corrupt 's why it's forbidden.
With this last statement his kinder more lighthearted demeanor returned, and he smiled a bit at the kid.
INSIDE
The Prince enters the room and sees Qui Gonn has just finished speaking with several figures in holograms, who fade away into nothingness before the Prince had any time to make out anything but their silhouettes. On the other side of the connection are Jedi masters. The group is in the circular council room which is filled with chairs and overlooks the vast cityscape. It is sunset on the planet. The Jedi present converge into a circle to speak.
Windu:This must be the disturbance in the force we've been sensing.
The others nodded and all made their way to reactivate the Hologram. Windu reactivated it and the hologram of Qui Gonn resurfaced.
Windu: We have about 200 Jedi in that sector of space. I advise you stay put until they will lead the assault on the base.
He paused for a moment and gave Qui Gonn a stern look
Windu:You're absolutely sure they don't know you found them?
Qui Gonn:No. Not unless they have a Sith with them.
THE CLONING FACILITY
A figure dressed in black robes with its face concealed by the shadows walked down a corridor, tanks filled with unconscious clone floating in a blue liquid were by his sides. A droid with blue pieces on his body and circular yellow eyes followed him. The figures reached a circular room and pressed something on the table. He kneeled to one knee and the large hologram of another cloaked figure with a visible chin appeared, towering over him.
?:My lord. The Jedi have discovered this facility.
"No matter. The dark side of the force will shield us. What we seek has already arrived within the city. You know what you must do my young apprentice."
?: Yes master. At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have our revenge.
The hologram deactivated and the figure stood up and walked back the way it came, accompanied by the droid.