Knock Knock Knock

Severus stood outside Dumbledore's office. It was his second Christmas at Hogwarts since becoming a professor, and all he wanted to do was hide away and lament.

Lily had died one year and fifty one days ago at the young age of 21. The pain had yet to ease, and that was just as it should be in Severus' mind. He'd never let it go, didn't deserve to. She needed to be remembered and mourned for an eternity - not even that would be enough. Holidays were especially difficult, and Severus was more than peeved that the Headmaster had requested his company.

Severus waited a full five seconds and, hearing nothing, turned on his heel to leave. He made it down three steps when the door opened.

"Severus, thank you for joining me this evening," Dumbledore said cheerily, ignoring the fact that Severus was attempting to escape on him.

Grinding his teeth, Severus turned and walked back up the stairs.

"Headmaster," he said with in inclination of his head.

"Please, won't you come in?" Dumbledore asked as he held the door open.

Severus took a deep breath and, shooting a hefty glare at Dumbledore, entered the office.

"Please, sit," Dumbledore said warmly, indicating both chairs in front of his desk.

Severus dropped into one of the chairs and watched Dumbledore as the old wizard sat at his desk.

"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered, holding out a bowl of the candies.

"No thank you, Headmaster," Severus said, successfully keeping the irritation out of his voice.

Dumbledore peered at him for a long moment, then shook the bowl of candy.

Severus took a lemon drop and set it on the arm of his chair.

"Thank you," Severus said dryly.

Dumbledore nodded and continued to look at Severus. Finally he opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a small wrapped present. "Happy Christmas," he said as he slid the package across his desk to his young professor.

Severus eyed the gift and said, "I didn't realize faculty members would be receiving gifts. Unfortunately, I've nothing to give you in return."

Dumbledore simply smiled and nodded at the gift.

Having decided to humor him - as that often led to a quick dismissal - Severus took the gift and opened it. Inside was a corked bottle with spidery handwriting across the label.

"Latin conjucted earwing scales," Severus read, amazement clear in his voice. He was shocked, this was a pricey and rare gift.

"I noticed your impressive stores were lacking in them, Severus."

"Thank you, sir," Severus was sincerely taken aback.

Dumbledore smiled, pleased to of brought the young man some joy. At only twenty two years of age, Severus had already seen a lot of the darker side of life.

"How are you, Severus?"

Ah, and here it is, Severus thought, pulling his mental cloaks tighter.

"Minerva has informed me that the number of points you've taken from her house has doubled these past few months."

"Headmaster, you're fully aware that it's in a Gryffindor's nature to break rules and to look for trouble. Perhaps the season has them overly excited," Severus said.

"Also, I noticed your ...annoyed treatment of the students in the garden this afternoon," Dumbledore said, looking somewhat sternly at Severus over the top of his glasses.

Severus schooled his features. He hadn't meant for any of the staff to see him zapping students in order to vent his frustrations. They were breaking rules, he tried to reason with himself, but he knew that argument would fall flat.

"This is a difficult time of year for you," Dumbledore acknowledged, and Severus released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Perhaps it would do you well to speak with someone who knows the full story?"

"Thank you for your concern Headmaster, but that won't be necessary."

"I believe it is," Dumbledore said. "I cannot have one of my professors abusing students, and I need you here, Severus. Not to mention the fact that it would help you..."

"It won't help me," Severus said coldly. "I've more important things to be doing than to sit here whining about my past. If that'll be all?" he stood and turned to leave.

"We are not finished here, I'm afraid."

Severus turned back, ready to rage at the old man, but he stopped with his mouth agape.

There Dumbledore stood next to his desk with a long cane in his hand.

Severus visibly deflated as his eyes looked at the cane and them at Dumbledore. It took every ounce of self control Dumbledore possessed to keep away the sad grin that threatened his stern expression when a moue of childlike apprehension appeared on his young professor's face. It sometimes amazed him that someone so young and reactionary could so thoroughly fool Tom Riddle.

"Must we?" Severus whispered.

"It appears we must," Dumbledore answered sadly.

"Why?"

"You refuse to let me in to help you, and that is something I must do - both for your sake as well as for the sake of the students. This has worked in the past. Come now, over the back of the chair, please," Dumbledore told him gently.

Severus lowered his head and obeyed, taking perfect position over the back of the chair that he had occupied just moments before. He watched Dumbledore walk to him and stiffened when the older wizard raised his robes. As always, his trousers remained in place.

He flinched when the cane tapped his backside while Dumbledore took aim.

"It's important for you to know that this isn't a punishment, Severus. Rather, it's meant as a release. Please use it as such," Dumbledore told him.

"Yes sir," came the nearly inaudible answer.

The cane whistled through the air and landed crisply across Severus' bottom.

Severus did not flinch, nor did he make a sound.

Dumbledore sighed.

The cane landed again and again, but Severus blocked it out. Dumbledore knew a more strenuous tactic was necessary.

"This Christmas would have been an important one for Lily. Little Harry would be up and talking, taking much pleasure in the festivities," Dumbledore said, landing the cane again.

This time Severus made a noise not unlike a sob and balled his fists.

"She'll miss raising her son, and you had a big part to play in that," Dumbledore said, landing another stripe of the cane, and then another as Severus mewed.

"The world is now deprived of having Lily Evans in it. How must that feel for you?"

"I can never make it right! How the bloody hell do you think it feels?!"

"But you also worked hard to prevent it, did you not?"

"Yes sir," Severus answered wetly.

"I'm certain she'd be proud of the work you've done, Severus, and the work you've sworn to do," Dumbledore said, and watched as Severus' shoulders shook with tears.

Dumbledore landed the cane again and said, "You are to find better outlets for your grief. Abusing the students will no longer be tolerated, is that clear?"

"Yes sir."

"I am always here for you," he said, tossing the cane to the floor and righting Severus' robes.

"Thank you, sir," Severus said and then wiped his face.

"Up you get," Dumbledore said cheerily.

Severus stood and gently rubbed his cheeks. He gave Dumbledore a queer look.

"This wasn't a punishment, Severus, you didn't need more than six. Come," he said, holding his arms open.

Severus glared at him, and so Dumbledore went to him and gathered him in for a cuddle.

"This is quite unnecessary," Severus hissed, but he found himself unable to pull free from Dumbledore's tight grasp.

Dumbledore cupped the back of his head with one hand and directed it under his chin. He rocked Severus gently and, after a moment, felt the young professor again give in to tears.

Severus' cries became more desperate and lasted quite a long time. Dumbledore held him all the while, letting the other man release his grief in a safe way.

Finally, with his tears spent, Severus grumbled, "Could you please unhand me, sir?"

Dumbledore released him and grinned as Severus pulled away and turned so that he could wipe his face with some privacy.

"Is that all?" Severus asked, his back still to Dumbledore.

"I would like to see you at the celebration tonight," he said happily.

Severus huffed and then nodded.

"Don't forget your earwing scales and your lemon drop, Severus."

Shoulders slouched, Severus gathered the items and turned to face the older wizard. "Thank you, sir," he said sincerely.

Dumbledore nodded and with an affectionate smile said, "Off you go."