(REVISED 2/23/03)
A.N: Yeah, so I'm a traitor. -_-; Like I care? =P
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never have, never will.
WARNING: Contains yaoi. Don't like that? Don't read. It's that simple. *gasp*
Falter
By Firefly-chan
He was alone for once. Alone in a room that was made of simple twin beds, lamp, dresser, and a chair. The chair had been pulled over to the window to where he sat, hand pressed firmly against the cool pane. It was night, not the time for him. His companion. The darker one, the stronger one owned night. He belonged to day. The brighter one, the kinder one. And the boy on the chair knew this, accepted it. What else was he left to do?
He pushed lightly on the window, gently opening it. He sat back in the chair, taking in a deep breath as a cool breeze swept into the room, caressing his face for only a moment before disappearing as suddenly as it had came. The other would be here soon.
He opened his eyes, stirred from his thoughts when the door to the hotel room opened with a small creak. The black haired boy smirked wryly to himself, thinking, 'Or perhaps sooner then I thought?'
He heard the other softly close the door, pause there for a moment, before making his way towards him; footsteps creaked on the wood floor. The black haired boy smirk grew into a bitter smile when he heard him stop behind his chair, feeling as icy fingers tapped on the back of his shoulders.
"I see you're still here, then?" He heard him say with the typical gruffness icing his words.
"Where else would I have to go, Kai?" he replied curtly, lowering his eyes to the floor.
"It's your choice alone. I'm not keeping you here," Kai leant foreword, almost sarcastically adding, "Rei." (1)
A slender eyebrow raised. "Hmm? You aren't? You're sure?"
He felt a light tug on his long hair and winced, pulling away from the touch. Kai tapped his fingers against his back once more before backing off a bit, sitting down on the bed and watching him carefully. Finally, after a few moments, he spoke again, "Pretty sure."
"I think you're wrong."
Kai laughed, though it sounded cold and lifeless. "The only reason you're still here is because you need me."
Rei frowned, clenching his teeth together to keep from lashing out at the other. Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he responded coolly. "The only reason I'm here, if I may remind you, is because we were paired together to share a room."
"I've gathered."
The black haired teen came to a stand with a slight scowl, running his hands over his clothes to crease the wrinkles from it. Folding his arms over his chest, he rounded the chair and the beds, avoiding Kai's gaze as he made his way to the door. He was halfway to the door when Kai's voice stopped him.
"Where are you going?"
Rei rolled his eyes. 'As if you care.'
"Since you're obviously being the same, bastard-like self that I'm use to, I think I'll take my leave now and rent my own room." he grumbled, turning the doorknob. He paused in opening it, staring at the woodwork of the door but not really seeing it; his mind was somewhere else. "You know what I think, Kai? I think you're afraid."
There was a soft snort. "Afraid of what?"
"Of being alone," he said simply, smiling slightly. "You can't stand the thought of not having someone there with you. That's it, isn't it?"
The blue-haired teen didn't answer, the room falling silent.
Rei's smile grew after the minutes of silence and he started to open the door but was swung around and shoved roughly against the wall. Kai shut the door with a swift kick to it, pinning the smaller teen by violently twisting his hands above his head. Rei winced softly, but didn't say anything, gazing blankly at the pair of cold eyes that had fixed themselves on him.
"Go ahead," Rei whispered, taunting him. "Try it, Kai."
Kai glowered at the other, leaning in closer. "You're such a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?" he spat, quietly. "And to answer your previous question; no, I'm not afraid. For one, I've been alone most of my life. For second, like I said before, you won't leave because you need me. I don't care what you say otherwise."
"You may think what you want," he responded evenly, calmly remaining in the uncomfortable position the other held him in, "but that doesn't mean it's true."
"You've always been stubborn, haven't you?" Kai leaned in closer, his voice lowered to a hiss now.
A smirk wove its way into his features at that. "I'm not stubborn, Kai. I just don't let my temper get the best of me."
"And that means...?"
Rei leaned foreword a bit this time, despite the pain the shot up through his arms. He narrowed his eyes, murmuring, "It means I'm not like you."
Kai gazed back at him with an even stare before letting out a frustrated growl, shoving Rei back into his previous position and crushing his lips onto his. Rei widened his eyes in surprise, digging his fingernails into the palm of his hands. Kai noticed him tense up but ignored it, forcing his mouth open for his tongue to gain access. The blue haired teen dropped Rei's hands from above his head, taking his right to hold his chin firmly in place.
"Stop," Rei gasped against his mouth after a moment. "Kai--I can't breathe-- "
Kai pulled away from the kiss then, but didn't pull away too much. With his lips still barely touching the other's, Kai took in a couple of deep breaths before speaking; a harsh, short whisper, "I know you're not me, Rei. You're you. The sickeningly perfect you."
"This isn't..." Rei started quietly but trailed off, raising his eyes to meet the others.
"This isn't what?" Kai murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "This isn't right? That'd be damn hypocritical of you to say. You're the one who started it. I've watched you for so long, do you know? I've memorized every detail there is to your face; every line that creases when you frown, every crease that smoothens when you smile. I can tell you how many times you blink in a minute or how you always close your eyes when you get frustrated. I can explain the way you breathe, the way you talk, and the way you move. And when I look at you Rei, for once in my life I don't feel empty or cold."
Kai pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him from speaking. "I don't want you to say anything," he said lightly. "I don't care what it is but I can't hear your voice again. You have *no* idea what you do to me." The blue- haired teen pressed the palms of his hands against Rei's back, shifting him closer. "And I don't care what you think because I already know."
He lowered his voice to a whisper again, "I hate you so much, you know? I hate you for letting my guard down, for turning me into something I never intended to turn into. I hate you for that and I can never forgive you. But I can't forget this, I won't forget this. And I won't forget you or anything about you because there is this part of me that doesn't hate you. I hate that part, too."
Kai kissed him again. It was desperate and intense, and Rei gripped Kai's shoulder's to keep from collapsing. His mind swirled with emotions and no matter how many times he begged it to calm down, it went even more haywire then it originally was. "It's not fair; it'll never be fair," Kai breathed when he pulled away from the kiss again. "It's not fair because everything I'm doing is wrong. It's not the way it's supposed to be and I hate that."
Rei trembled softly, opening his eyes again. He met the frustrated ones of Kai's and searched them for a second. "I know," he said quietly after a moment, slowly reaching out to touch his face. "I know it isn't."
It was wrong. Both of them knew that. They weren't quite sure how it was wrong but they knew it was a mistake. It was like trying to breathe when you were under water; impossible. It was wrong, it would always be wrong. But it was right, too. It was bittersweet and untouchable. Untamed and free. Screaming but silent.
It was so, so right.
Owari.
End Notes: Muahaha. X_X Ooh, well, at least I got rid of my Kai/Rei craving that I had been having after awhile. *runs away screaming from rabid people who wish to kill her* X_x
1: Rei or Ray. Who cares? What the hell is the difference? O.O
A.N: Yeah, so I'm a traitor. -_-; Like I care? =P
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never have, never will.
WARNING: Contains yaoi. Don't like that? Don't read. It's that simple. *gasp*
Falter
By Firefly-chan
He was alone for once. Alone in a room that was made of simple twin beds, lamp, dresser, and a chair. The chair had been pulled over to the window to where he sat, hand pressed firmly against the cool pane. It was night, not the time for him. His companion. The darker one, the stronger one owned night. He belonged to day. The brighter one, the kinder one. And the boy on the chair knew this, accepted it. What else was he left to do?
He pushed lightly on the window, gently opening it. He sat back in the chair, taking in a deep breath as a cool breeze swept into the room, caressing his face for only a moment before disappearing as suddenly as it had came. The other would be here soon.
He opened his eyes, stirred from his thoughts when the door to the hotel room opened with a small creak. The black haired boy smirked wryly to himself, thinking, 'Or perhaps sooner then I thought?'
He heard the other softly close the door, pause there for a moment, before making his way towards him; footsteps creaked on the wood floor. The black haired boy smirk grew into a bitter smile when he heard him stop behind his chair, feeling as icy fingers tapped on the back of his shoulders.
"I see you're still here, then?" He heard him say with the typical gruffness icing his words.
"Where else would I have to go, Kai?" he replied curtly, lowering his eyes to the floor.
"It's your choice alone. I'm not keeping you here," Kai leant foreword, almost sarcastically adding, "Rei." (1)
A slender eyebrow raised. "Hmm? You aren't? You're sure?"
He felt a light tug on his long hair and winced, pulling away from the touch. Kai tapped his fingers against his back once more before backing off a bit, sitting down on the bed and watching him carefully. Finally, after a few moments, he spoke again, "Pretty sure."
"I think you're wrong."
Kai laughed, though it sounded cold and lifeless. "The only reason you're still here is because you need me."
Rei frowned, clenching his teeth together to keep from lashing out at the other. Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he responded coolly. "The only reason I'm here, if I may remind you, is because we were paired together to share a room."
"I've gathered."
The black haired teen came to a stand with a slight scowl, running his hands over his clothes to crease the wrinkles from it. Folding his arms over his chest, he rounded the chair and the beds, avoiding Kai's gaze as he made his way to the door. He was halfway to the door when Kai's voice stopped him.
"Where are you going?"
Rei rolled his eyes. 'As if you care.'
"Since you're obviously being the same, bastard-like self that I'm use to, I think I'll take my leave now and rent my own room." he grumbled, turning the doorknob. He paused in opening it, staring at the woodwork of the door but not really seeing it; his mind was somewhere else. "You know what I think, Kai? I think you're afraid."
There was a soft snort. "Afraid of what?"
"Of being alone," he said simply, smiling slightly. "You can't stand the thought of not having someone there with you. That's it, isn't it?"
The blue-haired teen didn't answer, the room falling silent.
Rei's smile grew after the minutes of silence and he started to open the door but was swung around and shoved roughly against the wall. Kai shut the door with a swift kick to it, pinning the smaller teen by violently twisting his hands above his head. Rei winced softly, but didn't say anything, gazing blankly at the pair of cold eyes that had fixed themselves on him.
"Go ahead," Rei whispered, taunting him. "Try it, Kai."
Kai glowered at the other, leaning in closer. "You're such a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?" he spat, quietly. "And to answer your previous question; no, I'm not afraid. For one, I've been alone most of my life. For second, like I said before, you won't leave because you need me. I don't care what you say otherwise."
"You may think what you want," he responded evenly, calmly remaining in the uncomfortable position the other held him in, "but that doesn't mean it's true."
"You've always been stubborn, haven't you?" Kai leaned in closer, his voice lowered to a hiss now.
A smirk wove its way into his features at that. "I'm not stubborn, Kai. I just don't let my temper get the best of me."
"And that means...?"
Rei leaned foreword a bit this time, despite the pain the shot up through his arms. He narrowed his eyes, murmuring, "It means I'm not like you."
Kai gazed back at him with an even stare before letting out a frustrated growl, shoving Rei back into his previous position and crushing his lips onto his. Rei widened his eyes in surprise, digging his fingernails into the palm of his hands. Kai noticed him tense up but ignored it, forcing his mouth open for his tongue to gain access. The blue haired teen dropped Rei's hands from above his head, taking his right to hold his chin firmly in place.
"Stop," Rei gasped against his mouth after a moment. "Kai--I can't breathe-- "
Kai pulled away from the kiss then, but didn't pull away too much. With his lips still barely touching the other's, Kai took in a couple of deep breaths before speaking; a harsh, short whisper, "I know you're not me, Rei. You're you. The sickeningly perfect you."
"This isn't..." Rei started quietly but trailed off, raising his eyes to meet the others.
"This isn't what?" Kai murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "This isn't right? That'd be damn hypocritical of you to say. You're the one who started it. I've watched you for so long, do you know? I've memorized every detail there is to your face; every line that creases when you frown, every crease that smoothens when you smile. I can tell you how many times you blink in a minute or how you always close your eyes when you get frustrated. I can explain the way you breathe, the way you talk, and the way you move. And when I look at you Rei, for once in my life I don't feel empty or cold."
Kai pressed a finger to his lips, stopping him from speaking. "I don't want you to say anything," he said lightly. "I don't care what it is but I can't hear your voice again. You have *no* idea what you do to me." The blue- haired teen pressed the palms of his hands against Rei's back, shifting him closer. "And I don't care what you think because I already know."
He lowered his voice to a whisper again, "I hate you so much, you know? I hate you for letting my guard down, for turning me into something I never intended to turn into. I hate you for that and I can never forgive you. But I can't forget this, I won't forget this. And I won't forget you or anything about you because there is this part of me that doesn't hate you. I hate that part, too."
Kai kissed him again. It was desperate and intense, and Rei gripped Kai's shoulder's to keep from collapsing. His mind swirled with emotions and no matter how many times he begged it to calm down, it went even more haywire then it originally was. "It's not fair; it'll never be fair," Kai breathed when he pulled away from the kiss again. "It's not fair because everything I'm doing is wrong. It's not the way it's supposed to be and I hate that."
Rei trembled softly, opening his eyes again. He met the frustrated ones of Kai's and searched them for a second. "I know," he said quietly after a moment, slowly reaching out to touch his face. "I know it isn't."
It was wrong. Both of them knew that. They weren't quite sure how it was wrong but they knew it was a mistake. It was like trying to breathe when you were under water; impossible. It was wrong, it would always be wrong. But it was right, too. It was bittersweet and untouchable. Untamed and free. Screaming but silent.
It was so, so right.
Owari.
End Notes: Muahaha. X_X Ooh, well, at least I got rid of my Kai/Rei craving that I had been having after awhile. *runs away screaming from rabid people who wish to kill her* X_x
1: Rei or Ray. Who cares? What the hell is the difference? O.O