Odi Et Amo
By: ShinigamiForever
Sometimes I am at war with myself, and I cannot think what it would be like if I stayed at war
with you, with the music blaring in my ears as you yelled lyrics I could not understand, silent
lyrics with your eyes and your lips and your fingers, as if you could break me with just one
skin line drawn across my palm. Yes, and I will draw whatever conclusion from whatever you did,
and both of us are broken, broken like your collection of glass figurines that you thrashedwhen
you were angry and both of us are dead lying open on your grave, your grave which has not been
dug yet but yet is still there. Laugh at ironies played by Atropos who says when we should die.
Sometimes you tell me more than I need to know but mostly you don't tell me enough, because if
you did we would always be together, and I do not need another shadow but you need something
even if it is not me. I never really believed in love and you still don't, so I guess we are
even because you have told me never to believe in truth. I don't anymore, and I somtimes can't
trust what I hear because I think I am insane from loving you. Even though I hate you more than
you will ever know, I love you because of that hate, and you have taught me to lie so well I
think I could fool even you, but you do not need fooling, you believe me in a way you shouldn't.
If you believed in anything that came from me, you would be surprised at how much of it
was lies and untruths that you fed from deep down somewhere, and you have changed me. I
don't want to think what it would have been like if you just simply loved me for what I
was and not for what I have become, and you have corrupted not innocence but you
corrupted what could not have changed, but was me, and you loved me. And I would like to
think you believed in me, just as I believed in you, but you did not. I lie to only me.
You do not believe in my lies and that is just as well. Then both of us would be lying.
It might as well be my fault when I gave up everything to you, with two hands tied
behind my back as I try to reach. And you cried tears of cold thunder, with the raindrop
color falling down your cheeks like things unspoken, as you fled away. From something
you were not afraid of but said you were. There was a time when words were only words
and not weapons to hurt me with, like when you whispered the unspeakable words on my
skin, and told me you loved and you hated me and you wished we could tie up our ankles
together and walk in life together. I have a question, but you do not understand me.
The sound of the approaching wind that drives me slowly
insane as your voice beats against the last of what
I can control. Perhaps it is only a mental thing and
it shall pass, but now I am listening to only you and
I can feel only you and I am dead, stabbed by a knife
that was not yours. Are you happy? What if you are not?
Do you answer questions that are not really questions?
A little fox danced in shadows in your mind and you
are still looking for its footprints in the forest
although it is years past. And although both of us
are broken you are the one that is the least broken
and that is why you survive and I will die. It is
that simple. At night I dream about you like you
dream about the little fox. I wish the fox was me.
To hear the train nearing
as it blows its whistle
to beckon you away! Ah
you are cruel to make
me stay and watch you go,
waving at me through the
windows that you paved.
You are something that
has no meaning but
continues to exist
because things demand
of you that have more
meaning than you, but
I do not believe in it.
I will not
be the one
to say
goodbye
because you
have always
been the one.
If I look
for you
what will
I find?
Me
And
You
What
We
Lost
W
H
E
N
A
P
A
R
T
.
A/N: This is what happens when you succumb to plot bunnies. Title means I love and I hate. ::dodges flying fruit and vegetables:: Reviews please?
By: ShinigamiForever
Sometimes I am at war with myself, and I cannot think what it would be like if I stayed at war
with you, with the music blaring in my ears as you yelled lyrics I could not understand, silent
lyrics with your eyes and your lips and your fingers, as if you could break me with just one
skin line drawn across my palm. Yes, and I will draw whatever conclusion from whatever you did,
and both of us are broken, broken like your collection of glass figurines that you thrashedwhen
you were angry and both of us are dead lying open on your grave, your grave which has not been
dug yet but yet is still there. Laugh at ironies played by Atropos who says when we should die.
Sometimes you tell me more than I need to know but mostly you don't tell me enough, because if
you did we would always be together, and I do not need another shadow but you need something
even if it is not me. I never really believed in love and you still don't, so I guess we are
even because you have told me never to believe in truth. I don't anymore, and I somtimes can't
trust what I hear because I think I am insane from loving you. Even though I hate you more than
you will ever know, I love you because of that hate, and you have taught me to lie so well I
think I could fool even you, but you do not need fooling, you believe me in a way you shouldn't.
If you believed in anything that came from me, you would be surprised at how much of it
was lies and untruths that you fed from deep down somewhere, and you have changed me. I
don't want to think what it would have been like if you just simply loved me for what I
was and not for what I have become, and you have corrupted not innocence but you
corrupted what could not have changed, but was me, and you loved me. And I would like to
think you believed in me, just as I believed in you, but you did not. I lie to only me.
You do not believe in my lies and that is just as well. Then both of us would be lying.
It might as well be my fault when I gave up everything to you, with two hands tied
behind my back as I try to reach. And you cried tears of cold thunder, with the raindrop
color falling down your cheeks like things unspoken, as you fled away. From something
you were not afraid of but said you were. There was a time when words were only words
and not weapons to hurt me with, like when you whispered the unspeakable words on my
skin, and told me you loved and you hated me and you wished we could tie up our ankles
together and walk in life together. I have a question, but you do not understand me.
The sound of the approaching wind that drives me slowly
insane as your voice beats against the last of what
I can control. Perhaps it is only a mental thing and
it shall pass, but now I am listening to only you and
I can feel only you and I am dead, stabbed by a knife
that was not yours. Are you happy? What if you are not?
Do you answer questions that are not really questions?
A little fox danced in shadows in your mind and you
are still looking for its footprints in the forest
although it is years past. And although both of us
are broken you are the one that is the least broken
and that is why you survive and I will die. It is
that simple. At night I dream about you like you
dream about the little fox. I wish the fox was me.
To hear the train nearing
as it blows its whistle
to beckon you away! Ah
you are cruel to make
me stay and watch you go,
waving at me through the
windows that you paved.
You are something that
has no meaning but
continues to exist
because things demand
of you that have more
meaning than you, but
I do not believe in it.
I will not
be the one
to say
goodbye
because you
have always
been the one.
If I look
for you
what will
I find?
Me
And
You
What
We
Lost
W
H
E
N
A
P
A
R
T
.
A/N: This is what happens when you succumb to plot bunnies. Title means I love and I hate. ::dodges flying fruit and vegetables:: Reviews please?