AN: This is my first OUAT fic, but I have loved the show since day one! I'm a dedicated Captain Swan shipper, and I hope I can do them justice. Thanks for reading, and please review. I'd love to hear your feedback.

Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time, but if Captain Hook were mine, I'd make him forget all about Emma! Wink, wink!

Stupid Cupid

Chapter 1: Love is in the Air

Hook sat alone at a rickety old table in the darkest corner of the village tavern. All around him, happy couples laughed and flirted. And gazed into each other's eyes. And held hands. And stroked each other's faces. And kissed. And every other sweet, romantic, nauseating public display of affection imaginable.

"Bloody hell!" Hook muttered under his breath, turning back to his pint of ale. Before Regina's curse, no one in the Enchanted Forest had ever heard of this nonsense called Valentine's Day. Tonight marked the second such holiday since their return, but it had been overlooked last year. Last year, they had been waging war against the Wicked Witch of the West. No one had had time to celebrate romance. This year, however, the Witch had been defeated and peace restored. Now all the ex-Storybrookers were reveling in their customs carried over from the Land Without Magic.

Hook glanced around the room, taking note of the couples present. Snow and Charming, of course. Ella and Thomas. Ariel and Eric. Ruby and Dr. Whale (who had come from the Land Without Color now that the portals were open again). Regina and Robin. Nova and Grumpy. Even Aurora and Philip were there, having been told of the wonders of Valentine's Day by Snow. Many others whom Hook did not recognize also milled around the room.

Hooks eyes continued to scan the room over the rim of his glass, searching for that certain golden mane. The door to the tavern opened, allowing a gust of frigid air and a flurry of snow into the room, and Hook held his breath. As a feminine form shrouded in a heavy blue cloak came into view, his heart sped up painfully. When she raised her hood, he sighed in disappointment. Dark hair cascaded down her back as she beckoned to someone still standing outside. Then the Crocodile himself came into view, grasping the woman's—Belle's—hand. Rumple had been freed from the Witch's crystal ball (turns out that thing was a veritable treasure trove of magical properties) when Emma had smashed it after killing the Witch.

Hook had decided to live and let live where Rumple was concerned. He still hadn't forgiven him for Milah's death, but he knew that vengeance wouldn't bring her back. He also knew that killing Rumple would hurt Henry, which would, in turn, hurt Emma. Hurting Emma was something Hook just wasn't willing to do. So he bit back the growl that threatened to escape him at the sight of the Crocodile and returned to his search for the golden-haired goddess who held his heart.

He was about to give up his search, deciding she wasn't there, when a thick crowd parted in the far corner of the room. Then he saw her. She was dressed in a green tunic, which made her eyes shine like emeralds. He smiled to himself as he noticed her leather breeches and boots. His Swan. She had destroyed the clothes she had brought from her land during the fighting, but she still shunned the long dresses and other finery women of this realm wore. She had been in this realm for nearly six months. The war had been over for two, and he still had not seen her in a dress.

Hook watched her silently, just enjoying the sight of her. He was nearly on his feet to go to her when Balefire approached her carrying two pints of ale. He held one out to her, which she accepted with a smile. They clinked glasses and drank deeply, then turned and took a table together.

Hook's heart cracked inside his chest, and he sat back down on his stool with a heavy thud. He turned back to his ale to numb the pain. He desperately wished for something stronger, but he had emptied his flask earlier in the evening. He signaled the nearest wench as he drained his glass. "One more, please, lass," he said with a strained smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Coming right up, sir," she replied with a bob of her head. Hook didn't watch her go. He had already hidden his face in his palm, doing all he could to escape all the accursed love going on around him.

"Sweet gods in all the realms," he silently prayed, "let that ale come quickly!" He looked up slightly when he heard the thump of a glass hitting the wood in front of him. "Thanks, lass," he said, reaching for the glass.

"You're welcome," said a familiar voice above him, "but I don't think the barmaid would take that as a compliment."

Startled, Hook raised his eyes to the man standing beside him. "Bae," he said, "to what do I owe this honor?"

"It's still Neil," he replied. "I need to talk to you. Mind if I sit?"

"Please, be my guest," Hook said, gesturing to the stool across from him. "What can I do for you, Neil?" Hook asked as Neil sat.

"It's about Emma," Neil began.

"Of course it is," Hook thought, his eyes sliding across the room to where she sat now chatting happily with her parents. "What about her?" he asked tentatively. He knew this conversation was about to make him even more miserable than he had been five minutes earlier.

"Back in Storybrooke," Neil hedged, "before Pan's curse…."

"Aye?"

"You said you were going to back off and give us a chance to be a family. Me and her, and Henry."

"That I did," Hook replied. "What of it?"

"Does that still hold?" Neil asked. "Now that things have settled down, are you still going to stay out of the way and give our family a chance?"

"I'm a man of my word, Bae," Hook said, affronted. "I told you I would give you a chance, and so I shall."

Satisfied, Neil nodded and began to rise. "Thanks, man," he said, offering Hook his hand.

Hook rose to his feet and grasped Neil's proffered hand firmly. He held Neil's gaze, unblinking. "I also told you that when you break her heart again, I'll be there to pick up the pieces."

"I'm not going to break her heart," Neil said defensively. "That happened a long time ago. Things are different now." He turned to go, then paused and glanced back at Hook over his shoulder. "Thanks for bringing them back to us."

"I didn't do it for you, mate," Hook mumbled, picking up his glass and staring into the amber depths.

"I know," Neil said, still not facing the pirate, "but thanks anyway." Then he was gone.

Four hours and countless pints of ale later, Hook was well and truly drunk. He thought he was hallucinating when a slightly chubby man with a baby face joined him at his table. The stranger's size wasn't what made Hook doubt his eyes, though. Fat men were common enough, even in an Enchanted Forest full of inexplicably attractive, and often magical, fairytale characters. What caught Hook by surprise was the man's apparel—or lack thereof—and the wings. The crazy bugger was naked, and he had wings. Bloody wings!

Hook was grateful when the stranger sat down, concealing his more personal bits beneath the table's edge. Hook attempted to look him in the eye, fighting hard to hold his own eyelids up. "Lose a bet, mate?" he slurred.

The man smiled broadly. "No," he chuckled, "nothing like that."

"Then why the hell are you naked, man?" Hook asked incredulously. "It's bloody February. It may have escaped your notice, but it's been snowing for days. You're likely to freeze your bollocks off," he finished with a slight gesture toward the man's lower half.

"Humans," the man said with a roll of his eyes. "I forget. Just a moment." He closed his eyes as a soft pink glow surrounded him for a split second. When he opened his eyes again, he was clothed in a soft-looking crimson robe that appeared to be velvet. His wings were also gone.

"Well that's a nifty trick," Hook said with a raised eyebrow. "So what sort of creature are you, then?"

"Creature!" the man scoffed. "I'm no creature! I'm a god," he said with an air of superiority. "My name is Amor, but most humans know me as Cupid."