Separate but not equal
Chapter 3: Waiting for the world to change
"Sweetie, are you ok?"
Trixie and Delia had entered Patsy's room gingerly, almost expecting a bomb to go off as they literally tiptoed into the bedroom she shared with Trixie. They sat down on the bed alongside Patsy, one on each side of her.
Patsy sat on her bed moodily. She didn't answer Trixie immediately. She wondered if anyone understood the points she was trying to make before Sister Julienne put an end to the heated dinner "discussion" she was having with Sister Winifred and the rest of her Nonnatus House colleagues following their dramatic return from South Africa and the Hope Clinic
In reexamining minute details of her stressful conversation with Sister Winifred, Patsy had a small pang of empathy for the Sister. She knew her to be an excellent nurse. South African and Poplar patients were well served under the nun's watchful eye. Incorrect as her utterances at the dinner table were (at least in Patsy's eyes), she knew the Sister to put other's needs before her own.
Patsy was not willing to forgive her though. At least not yet. And that was what troubled her.
"I'm fine", Patsy replied slowly.
"Sweetie, you are absolutely not fine. Nice try though!" responded Trixie cheerily.
"I am fine. I was thinking about our dinner conversation tonight and how I can't utter a simple phrase without putting my foot into it."
"Don't worry, I don't often know what to say when people ask me whether my hair is dyed or not! Brighten, up sad face!"
Patsy cringed. She knew Trixie was trying to cheer her up.
In her more reflective moments at Nonnatus, Patsy contemplated if Trixie belonged to the lucky few, fortunate people who sailed through life and made light of unhappiness and misery even as it played out in their own mirror.
Patsy believed wholeheartedly that gaping chasms of opportunity versus oppression had made the world what it was-whether it was in a village in South Africa, Poplar, or an internment camp. Frettingly, she often wondered if her colleagues were as troubled by it as she was. When would the world they lived in actually change?
"Dearest Trixie" she thought to herself. " If you only knew what I feel".
Delia broke gently into Patsy's thoughts. "Cariad, we know you were upset by the dinner conversation. But Sister Winifred was in South Africa, and we weren't. It isn't right to draw conclusions based on what you think, rather than her reality. Can you give her the benefit of her own interpretation of the Hope Clinic? We would want the same, you know."
She put her small hand tentatively on Patsy's leg, watching her face for any visible sign of discomfort. While she understood Patsy's position, she often teased Patsy about her own posh experiences, that is, until Delia learned about Patsy's time in the internment camp.
Patsy gave Delia a cryptic half smile. "All right. I'll give. My name is Patience, after all."
Trixie looked at her friend carefully. She felt she knew only the barest of details of Patsy's life. When Patsy became close to Delia, Trixie realized that the door to knowing Patsy fully had closed to her. But she held out hope that Patsy would (with time) open the door again.
Patsy was the best friend Trixie could imagine at Nonnatus House. She wasn't jealous of Delia, well, not too much. She did have Barbara to cheer her up.
But Trixie dearly missed having her time with Patsy, particularly after the grueling trip to South Africa. She wondered if Patsy even knew how difficult the trip had been for the group.
Patsy tried to lighten the conversation. "So how many gentlemen friends did you meet in South Africa, Trixie? Less than or more than 25?"
"Well," Trixie replied thoughtfully. " It was close to 25-if you count all the orderlies and drivers at the hospital! But only a few of the chaps really spoke to me. Mostly about the day to day activities. I don't know really what their lives were like." She paused, "Or whether they had girlfriends!"
Delia grinned at her. "Trixie, I have all faith that you could have charmed a cheetah out of a tree to chat!"
Trixie said somberly, "I know everyone we met had a challenging life. They tried not to show it, but I saw in a hundred ways. Everyone tried to make the best of it, and not let it consume them or even complain.
"And Patsy," Trixie continued, "You should give Sister Winifred some benefit of the doubt. She tried to make sure everyone we saw received appropriate care. Why, Sister Winifred even gave Barbara lots of extra attention at night due to all of her headaches!"
" What headaches?" Delia asked, "Is that why Barbara was holding her head at the dinner table?"
"I suspect so", Trixie responded, "She had terrible headaches throughout the trip. Tom wasn't a lot of help to her. He seemed to be in his own world the entire trip. He paid a lot of attention to the villagers, but almost none to poor Barbara. She gutted it through each day, but wasn't up for much at night, poor dear. She was on her own, since we were so consumed at the hospital. She was vomiting almost every morning."
Delia sat up, "Shouldn't she be seen?"
Trixie nodded at her. "She doesn't want to make a bother of herself, and she definitely doesn't want anyone to contact Dr. Turner."
Patsy shifted on the bed.
"Do you think she could be?" she asked hesitantly, not finishing the sentence.
Delia's cheeks flushed slightly, a shade of pink that illuminated her freckles and made her blue eyes shine.
"I hardly think so," responded Trixie indignantly, finishing Patsy's thought.
" She wasn't even close to Tom during the trip!"
"But before the trip?" Patsy asked more to herself.
Delia murmured softly, "How do you think we can ask her that question, Pats?"
Trixie shot Delia an inscrutable look. "Tom and I were careful. I hardly think Barbara would do something I wouldn't do with him!"
Patsy thought a bit.
"Patience… I'll divine some way to obtain this information from Barbara. She trusts me. We'll get to the bottom of it."
"The bottom of what, Nurse Mount?"
Nurse Crane suddenly appeared in the door frame, a frown on her face, her eyes narrowed on Patsy's. " Pray tell, what will you get to the bottom of?"
To be continued…