A/N: This is dedicated to my rabid-Kyo-fangirl buddies. Beware of the OOCness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba or any of its characters, but I'm pretty sure Anika stole Kyo from Takaya-sensei.

Kyo's Arch Nemesis

My name is Kyo Sohma. And I am faced with a dilemma.

See, I like this girl, Honda Tohru. I think she might even like me back – but there is something else she likes. This…this thing…she might even prefer it over me.

As I'm sure you can guess, the two of us are sworn enemies. Even before we met her, we hated each other; this is what we were born into and what was meant to be. I don't ever regret my hate. This thing deserves no love. It is worthless.

But no matter how much we loathe each other, fate always seems to have our paths cross. At these times, I try – for her – to stop myself from releasing my anger.

But now, she's not around. It's just the two of us.

"Heh," I say with a smirk. "You think you're so cool. So chic. So tasty. But today is the day it all ends."

The hideous thing says nothing, but stares at me with a confident and proud look. Well, pride comes before a fall.

We're inches apart, now. This time there's nothing standing in our way, I won't hold back; I will defeat it. "Well…I have but one thing to say: Prepare to meet your doom!"

I approach it with a sudden fury, releasing my best moves on it. "Hiya! Ya!" I cry with pleasure. "Waaaayaa!" I can tell my opponent is growing weak; it'll soon be over, at long last. I laugh, stomping on it and kicking it repeatedly. There's no way the putrid thing could have survived.

"Ahaha! Take that! You always thought you were so great, but now look at you! You're worthless!" I laugh triumphantly. Finally, I've prevailed! "Who's master now, you – Ow! What the hell!"

I turn to see who had struck me. Of course, it's Yuki, wearing one of his usual I'm-so-superior-and-smarter-than-you looks.

"Geez! What was that for, damn rat!?" I demand. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?!"

"Uh, what the hell are you doing?" he asks, giving me a strange look.

"I'm conquering my arch nemesis, idiot! What's it look like!"

"It…looks like you're playing with your food. You do realize that's a bowl of Miso and leeks…?"

I sigh. God, sometimes he can be so frustrating! "You don't get it, do you? It's over! I'm not gonna let them control me any more! I WILL NEVER EAT LEEKS OR MISO AGAIN! MUAHAHAHAHA – "

"Okay, okay, whatever," the damn rat says, rolling his eyes. "But really, do you have to be so childish and play with your food?"

"Shut up! I'll play with my food whenever the flippin' hell I want to!"

Suddenly, like a gift from God, Tohru enters the room! "Dinner's ready!" she says happily – until she sees the mess on the floor. "Eh! Um, um, what happened?"

"I think the stupid cat is having a nervous breakdown or something," that damn rat says. "Don't worry about it, Honda-san; we'll clean it up."

"Oh, please don't trouble yourselves – "

"I AM NOT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!"

Great! Now, thanks to that damn shit rat, Tohru's staring at me like I'm crazy! I think quick and decide to change the subject. "Eh, so, what's for dinner?"

"Ah!" she says happily. "Well, I thought that since we haven't had them in a long time, we could have leeks and Miso for – "

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA – "

"Shut up, stupid cat."

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A/N: Okay…so that was really stupid, short, and random. (especially the ending) Tell me how much you hated it in a review.