Chapter One

Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko signaled to the barkeep for another brandy, nodding his thanks when the glass was slid his way. He stood leaning against the counter in Eternity, Nos Astra's famous bar, on a very rare furlough. Anderson had insisted on it after Horizon and while Kaidan had protested initially, a direct command from the human councilor was not something to be ignored. So with great reluctance, Kaidan booked passage to Illium with the intention of seeing Liara T'soni, his former crewmate and friend. She'd been thrilled to see him, hugging him ernestly and inviting him to do anything he wished, all fees would be handled. Knowing better than to argue with a woman who threatened to flay enemies alive with her mind, Kaidan had accepted her gracious offer and had immediately headed for Eternity. He wasn't a heavy drinker, but the matronly asari bartender kept him well-stocked with the best liqour behind the counter and he wasn't about to refuse the gesture.

Kaidan watched the patrons absently, chuckling when he caught snippets of the bizarre bachelor party a few tables away. He never knew salarians never married. Breeding contracts. Kaidan shook his head sadly. Here he'd grown up believing love was universal. How quickly such romantic ideals were squashed out here in the cold black. Not that he held many ideals anymore; many of them had been destroyed very early in his career as a marine. Two years ago, he'd found another dream to cling to, in the coy, pale face of his commanding officer.

Shepard. Kaidan shook his head again, downed his latest brandy, catching the fresh glass when it was passed to him by the observant barkeep. He didn't like thinking about the past. He'd spent enough time doing that, missing out on opportunities because he'd been too busy mooning for old times. He grimaced, rolling the glass between his palms slowly. The amber liquid sloshed against the sides, creating something for him to gaze into. Her eyes had been a similar shade, darkened whenever she looked at him in ithat/i way. A shiver traveled down his spine, memories of the two hours before Ilos rising to the surface, unbidden. Hard to believe that had been the only time they'd had. Fast forward one month and she was gone. Lost to the unforgiving cold black that had swallowed his dreams years ago.

The asari behind the bar tapped the counter in front of Kaidan's glass, drawing his attention away from the past. He looked at her through bleary eyes. "You look like hell, soldier," she remarked, her voice deeper than he would've expected. "What's on your mind?"

Kaidan straightened a bit and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger. "Memories, that's all."

"Past is a bitch, ain't it?" the barkeep replied sagely. She produced a towel and started wiping down the counter. "Anything you feel like sharing?"

"Thank you, but no."

"Probably for the best. Loose lips crash ships and all that," she said briskly, mopping up the spill another patron had stumbled away from. "You look young, for a human, anyway. What's your name, kid?"

"Alenko," Kaidan replied shortly, finishing his drink. She paused in her duties to extend a hand to him.

"Matriarch Aethyta. Pleasure, Alenko."

"Matriarch?" Kaidan echoed, puzzled. Aethyta waved a hand, deflecting the questions she knew were coming. Getting the idea, Kaidan let it drop and leaned against the counter again. He watched Aethyta busy herself behind the bar for a few minutes, his mind wandering. Maybe he'd try to see Liara again, maybe see if she'd be free for dinner later. He needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand. Of course, he wondered briefly whether or not it would be untoward to speak of the woman she'd fallen for as well. Thinking again, he shelved that idea and sighed a bit. Aethyta glanced at him briefly, then turned away to fiddle with some bottles. Facing him again, she plunked a strangely-shaped container in front of him. Kaidan blinked.

"Krogan liqour," Aethyta supplied with some pride. "Dangerous for most humans, but I think you could use it. Care for a taste?"

Kaidan eyed the bottle warily. The liqour in question smelled a bit like ship fuel and appeared thicker than normal alcohol. Still, based on her tone, turning it down would be the height of discourtesy. Bulking up his courage, Kaidan gestured to his empty glass. Aethyta's face split into a wide grin as she pulled a second glass from the shelf and poured them both a helping. Kaidan picked up his glass, regarding the swirling liquid with carefully masked apprehension. Aethyta, on the other hand, had her glass raised in a toast.

"To your health, Alenko," she saluted with a conspiratorial wink, then kicked the liqour back like a champ. Kaidan, feeling it was best to emulate her, did likewise. It burned a path down his throat, hitting his stomach like a fist to the gut. He coughed abruptly, drawing a pitied chuckle from the asari. "You get used to it," she assured him, patting him on the back as he struggled to control the spasm in his chest. Unfortunately, despite her confident tone, Kaidan felt the floor rushing to meet him.

Aethyta leaned over the counter and clicked her tongue. "Some humans just can't hold their krogan liqour..."

*********

Kaidan woke up to the sensation of a cold cloth at his forehead. He groaned, his head pounding worse than when he got his biotic migraines, and curled onto his side. "No more krogan liqour..." he grunted to no one in particular.

"You'll be fine in another hour or so," Liara's voice sounded somewhere above him. "I should've warned you against drinking in Eternity. Aethyta always tries to see who can handle it. I think it's how she entertains herself during slow days."

"I think she needs a new hobby," Kaidan grumbled. Liara laughed musically, then eased him onto his back again. She was a blurry blue shape hovering over him no matter how many times he blinked. Liara seemed to notice this and stroked his forehead gently. He let his eyes drift closed again at her kind touch, body relaxing. He felt her get up from the bed she'd laid him on, her footsteps dying away as she left the room. He lay still for what felt like several minutes when a familiar voice filtered from her office to his ears.

The voice was deep, with an underlying hint of sensuality. Kaidan rolled onto his side, bleary eyes searching for its source. "Shepard...?" he croaked, reaching out with one shaking hand. A figure, still all color and shape, appeared in the doorway. He squinted harder. The face that looked down at him wasn't pale or blue. It was green.

"Commander Alenko!" the figure said in that same voice. "What are you doing here?"

"He's been sampling krogan liqour," Liara's voice replied to the newcomer. They both sounded miles away, as if someone had stoppered his ears with cotton. He saw Liara's face join the green one, felt her fingers gently force one of his eyes open, then released him. "He needs more rest. You're welcome to stay and wait."

"Thank you, Liara. I appreciate that." The green face drew closer to his. Bright green eyes searched his hazy brown ones. For a split second, he felt recognition bubbling to the surface of his foggy mind. She sounded very familiar, but the memory was old, tainted with conflict. Who was this?

Kaidan grunted as a wave of pain thundered through his skull. Sleep. He had to sleep. He closed his eyes again, the sensation of something warm flooding his body easing him into a deep slumber.

**********

Hours later, Kaidan opened his eyes, suddenly quite alert. He sat up quickly, scanning the area with experienced eyes. The room was dark save for a small glowing lamp in the corner, its light a soft blue. The sounds of shuttles and cars zooming outside drifted in from the neighboring room. Oh, right. He was on Illium. He'd been drinking too much; Liara had taken him to her office after he'd passed out. He glanced about again, eyes resting on a half-open door on the opposite side of the room. He could see more light filtering in and suspected Liara was still awake.

Kaidan lifted himself from the bed and padded over to the open door. He was shirtless and his feet were bare, something he was able to disregard in the presence of an old friend. He peered around the doorway. Liara was at her desk, typing away at her console. His steady gaze alerted her to his presence and she raised her head.

"Kaidan!" she breathed, standing and striding over to him immediately. He let her fuss over him, smiling in amusement at her flurried attention. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks," he replied, stilling her fluttering hands in his own. "How long was I out?"

"Five hours, give or take," Liara explained, reclaiming her hands from his and moving back to her desk. She opened a drawer and withdrew a bottle of water, which she offered to him. Kaidan accepted it gratefully and took a long swallow. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before speaking.

"There was someone else here. Another woman?"

Liara's eyes widened as if suffering a realization. "Oh! Yes, she's still here." She pushed a button on her console and spoke into a small speaker: "Nyxeris, please send our guest in."

"Yes, ma'am."

Kaidan kept his gaze on the door, starting visibly when it rotated open and revealed Liara's "guest". "Shiala!"

Shiala, the former disciple of Matriarch Benezia and survivor of the Thorian creature, smiled warmly at him. Her skin was as green as her clones' had been, explaining the strange blur that had been beside Liara's face hours before. "Hello, Commander Alenko," she greeted, inclining her head respectfully. "I am glad to see you are well."

"Yeah, thanks," Kaidan blustered, still very surprised to see her. "What brings you to Illium?"

"Zhu's Hope business," Shiala shrugged. "It's been handled." Something in her voice was avoidant, suggesting any questions about the situation would be dismissed. Kaidan obliged, smiling in return.

"Should I even ask why your skin is green?" he ventured lightly. Shiala offered him a half-smile.

"You can, though I believe you already know the answer."

"The Thorian."

"Yes."

Kaidan scowled. He'd helped destroy the "Old Growth". Foolish for him to believe everything would be solved for the colonists. After-effects were always possible, as he was all too familiar. Still, he sensed there was more to Shiala's condition and decided to ask her about it later. "Are you going to be on Illium for long?" he asked, changing the subject. Shiala's smile became less strained as she nodded.

"I can't stay very long as the colonists need me, but I don't mind a slightly longer visit."

"Are you hungry? We could grab something to eat, maybe?" Kaidan offered, spreading his hands casually. Shiala smiled wider at him.

"I'd like that, Commander. Liara, can you join us?" she turned to her fellow asari, who had been observing the exchange with a cheeky smile. Liara feigned surprise at being included, then shook her head politely.

"I still have a lot of work to do. Perhaps another time."

"I'll bring you something," Kaidan promised. He looked back to Shiala. "Is there a particular place you'd like to go?"

"There's a very nice resturant on the second level that serves multi-species cuisine," Liara supplied, fishing about her desk for a business card. She passed it over to Shiala, who read it aloud.

"The Black Hole?" Shiala's tone was dubious. Liara chuckled.

"It sounds bad, but it's really very classy. I think the name is meant to describe variety of food they serve. You know, black encompasses all colors, black holes...nevermind. It's a nice place."

"I wouldn't doubt her word, Shiala. Liara is the best information broker Nos Astra has," Kaidan complimented, causing his friend to blush girlishly. "I'll make myself more presentable and meet you there."

"I shall do the same," Shiala replied with a nod, smiling as Kaidan disappeared into the adjacent room. She gave Liara a deep bow, then left the office. Liara was beside herself with glee. As much as she loved Shepard herself, she knew Kaidan loved her more and had suffered greatly after her death. She admired his dedication to the commander, but also knew he needed to test the waters again. Perhaps spending time with a charming asari commando (what a combination of words! she thought with an uncertain smile) would help ease him back into living.

Satisfied with the arrangement, Liara slid back into her chair and resumed her own work, smiling pleasantly.

*******

Kaidan met Shiala at the Black Hole an hour later. The asari had changed into something a little more appropiate than her colonist uniform and he'd found his military dress uniform in the back of his shuttle. They strolled into the dimly-lit interior, catching approving glances from passersby as they moved through towards the hostess' podium. A pleasant young asari greeted them, retrieved a pair of menus, and bade them follow her. She took them to a secluded corner of the dining area, assured them their server would be with them shortly and departed for the front again.

Kaidan browsed the wine selection while Shiala perused her menu. "Liara wasn't kidding," he remarked in amazement. "This place really does cater to all known species in the galaxy. I even see some quarian cuisine in here. I didn't even know they ihad/i cuisine."

"Of course they do," Shiala replied. "Do you think they were born in those suits?"

"I don't know. I never got the chance to ask one," Kaidan quipped casually, drawing a pleasant laugh from his asari companion. Their server came by a moment later, took their orders, and disappeared. Kaidan leaned his elbows on the table, his chin resting on his folded hands. "Can you tell me why you were on Illium now?"

Shiala was silent at first, sighed a bit, then spoke. "Zhu's Hope had a medical contract funded by Baria Frontiers. Their medical scans had become costly and rather pointless. The colonists have been suffering for years from the effects of the Thorian's control. Some even displayed thrall qualities even after you and Commander Shepard killed it. I think a few experienced physical changes as well." Her tone was sad as she relived the memory. She passed a hand before her face. "My skin changed a few months after you killed the Thorian. My biotics are very unstable. I have to fight to maintain control."

"I understand how that is," Kaidan said sympathetically. Shiala looked at him quizzically. "I was among the first humans exposed to eezo. Rather, my mother was exposed while she was pregnant with me and I was born with biotic powers. I was shipped off to Jump Zero and endured many rigorous training regimens to control my abilities. Apparently, I'm one of the lucky ones. Most L2 implantees suffer from brain tumors or worse. I just get migraines now and again," he explained.

"You handle your biotics remarkably well. I might've been unconscious during the battle, but I could feel what my clones did," Shiala said. "Both you and Shepard were quite remarkable."

"Shepard was an L3, but yes, she's...an amazing biotic," Kaidan finished the sentence weakly, thankful for the distraction the server returning with their drinks provided. He wasn't about to bring up his feelings on Shepard, even if the topic was somewhat related. Shiala remained politely silent until the server left again.

"I saw her," she said quietly. Kaidan's heart thumped hard in his chest. "She...she was here, not too long ago. She helped me with the contract."

"Shepard...on Illium?" Kaidan repeated slowly. "Is she...?"

"I don't know. Didn't Liara mention this?"

"No. No, she didn't."

Silence fell abruptly. Kaidan fought to control the tumult of emotions coursing through his mind. He could feel his biotics beginning to flash to the surface, responding to his mood change. Shiala observed him carefully, green eyes widening slightly when she spied the telltale arc of blue energy passing between his linked fingers. The memory of the force behind his biotics hit her then and she searched her mind frantically for a different subject.

"ExoGeni took the remains of the Thorian," she announced suddenly. Kaidan was pulled from his thoughts immediately.

"What did you say?" he asked guardedly, narrowing his eyes slightly. Shiala shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"They excavated the Thorian's nest after you left," she told him. "The headquarters were cleaned out as well. We fear what they might do with the remains."

"ExoGeni is still funding colonization missions on uncharted planets," Kaidan said thoughtfully, recalling Alliance intel. "There haven't been any reports about thrall-like behavior, though." He ran a fingertip across his upper lip pensively, eyes distant. Would they even report that? Would the colonists even know what to look for?

"This is troubling," he said finally. Shiala nodded. "I'm on furlough at the moment, which means I can go anywhere I want. Would you mind if I accompanied you back to Feros? I want to check this out myself."

"I'm glad you suggested it; I was going to ask you to come back with me," Shiala replied, relief obvious on her face. "You've faced the Thorian before and its thralls. You know what to look for, as I do. It's difficult to get into the nest now, but I carry a lot of weight with the colonists. I'll get us in there."

"Good. If ExoGeni is possibly functioning elsewhere with the remains, the Alliance needs to know about it. For now, we should take the time to enjoy our dinner. It might be a long time before either of us have this opportunity."

"Agreed." Shiala smiled at him. "Thank you, Commander Alenko. Goddess be praised for my running into you here."

"Kaidan is fine. We're friends, after all." Kaidan returned her smile, albeit a little wearily. They ate in mostly silence, Kaidan's mind racing with the possibilities of another Thorian thrall uprising. Still, it would be better than doing patrols on colonies that hated the Alliance. At least Zhu's Hope respected their involvement.

Encouraged by the opportunity to make another difference in the traverse, Kaidan set himself to enjoy his fine dinner, for yes, it could easily be the last time.

*************