These Happy Golden Years
This story takes place approximately 33 years after Izzie left for good. It's just a one shot I've been working on just to break up some writing monotony. With the most recent casting info, I decided to stick with the theme of an Alex/Izzie reunion I started in my last story "Again." Just another attempt at a positive spin on what is happening this season (even though this one takes place so far in the future). Kind of bittersweet, but it is what it is.
Also, I hope some of you will be happy to hear that I am making some progress on the sequel to "Again." but it will still be a while before it comes to it's full potential. I appreciate your patience and hope that you'll read it when it is ready.
Anyway, enjoy! And let me know what you think. I love those reviews!
"Okay, Mrs. Carter. Dr. Harris will be with you in a little while to go over the procedure. My name is Emily. If you need anything, the call button is to the left of your bed. The tv remote is on the right."
The 62-year-old woman smile gently at the young nurse who could have, in theory, been her granddaughter. As the girl turned and left the hospital room, its occupant looked around at the new but oddly familiar surroundings. How much of her life had been spent in hospital rooms, either lying in the bed or taking care of patients. But that part was another lifetime ago.
Her mind wandered back to the time of internships and sleepless nights, supply closet rendezvous, charming heart patients and best friends. Those memories morphed into memories of LVAD wires, inappropriate relationships, brain scans, magical weddings and tearful goodbyes. God, she hadn't thought about those times in a decade at least. Well, not all of it.
"Mrs. Carter. How are you feeling?" A 40-something redheaded woman dressed in a stark white lab coat entered the room with a smile.
"I feel fine. I'm just ready to get this thing out of me," the older woman said, a wry grin appearing on her face. "And I told you at the consult. Call me Izzie."
"Right. I apologize. So, Izzie. Here are your scans." She held up the film so that Izzie could look.
"The tumor hasn't grown. That's good."
"Yes, which makes me feel confident that we'll be able to get it all. With a few chemo treatments, your prognosis is really good. We caught it early. You're lucky."
"Great."
Suddenly a young male doctor appeared in the doorway. "Dr. Harris? Dr. Karev needs a consult when you get a chance." Neither doctor noticed the patient's head shoot up or the numerous emotions that played on her face at the sound of a name she thought she'd never hear again.
"Okay, Terrelli. Tell him I'll be there when I finish with Mrs. Carter." She looked back over at her patient. "So where were we?"
Izzie swallowed, unsure of her voice. "Um ..."
"Oh right. I was just telling you that this should be a pretty routine procedure, and that you should be back on your feet soon. Your chemo will be outpatient. You've made arrangements to stay close by, right?" Izzie nodded. "We'll go into the OR first thing tomorrow morning. Do you have any questions for me?"
"Um, not really. At least not about my surgery." Izzie paused, not sure whether to ask or not. She knew she could be opening pandora's box, but she finally gave in. "Um, that intern, or at least I think he was an intern. Terrelli. He mentioned a Dr. Karev. That wouldn't by any chance be Alex Karev, would it?"
The doctor looked up at her with a smile. "Yes it is. How did you know that?"
"I uh, knew him in Seattle. We did our internship together."
"Oh, that's right. I forgot that you told me you went to medical school. Would you like me to page him? I'm sure he'd love to see you. He's such a nice man. Everybody around here just loves him. And what an amazing surgeon."
A small smile appeared on her face. The man she had loved for a better part of her life had become a great man. A great surgeon. "Um, no. I don't want to bother him. I'd actually like to get some sleep, if you don't mind."
"Of course. I'll see you in the morning."
"What have you got Dr. Karev?" The oncologist's voice caused him to look up from the chart he was working on.
"Dr. Harris." He turned to face the younger doctor. "Ten-year-old with Leukemia. His scans don't indicate any masses, but he's definitely going to need chemo, at the very least. He's a good kid, so I wanted to hand him off to you. Not much I can do for him."
She quickly ran her eyes over the chart he'd just handed her. "Thanks. I'll get a room on the floor set up and I'll go in and talk to him. Both parents are involved?" She pushed her glasses further up on her nose and looked up at the man beside her.
"Yep. It's basically the Cleaver family."
"Awesome," she said cheerfully, reminding him a little of Arizona Robbins. He began to walk away knowing that the kid was in good hands. Her voice stopped him. "Dr. Karev?"
"Yeah?" He turned back to the Dr. Harris.
She looked hesitant. "I, uh, met someone today who says they know you. Didn't want me to bother you, but says you did your internships together."
"A new doctor here?" This confused him. Grey was retired and chasing grand kids around with Shepard in their mansion in Seattle. Yang was in Philadelphia collecting Harper Avery awards. O'Malley had been dead for more than thirty years. And Izzie ...
"Um, no. A patient. A Mrs. Carter?"
He shook his head, not really sure who this person might be. "I didn't do my internship with any Carters."
"Her first name is Isobel. Izzie."
He froze. His heart began to pound and he thought for a moment that he had misheard her. "What did you say?"
"I said her name is Izzie." She studied him as he tried to keep the shock from appearing on his expression. He failed. "I'm guessing by the look on you face that you do know her."
"Um, yeah. It's just been a while since I've seen her." In a moment he made a decision. "What, uh, what room did you say she was in?"
"1097," she said with a small smile pulling at her lips.
"Right. Thanks."
She couldn't sleep. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't keep the thought that her first ex-husband was walking around somewhere in this hospital out of her mind. What did he look like? How did he wind up here in Chicago? Did he have a family? Another wife? Kids?
She turned over, cursing her insomnia. She gasped when she looked at the window in her door to find someone watching her. Then it hit her. Could it really be him? The face was much older, but the hazel eyes were unmistakably his. She'd know them anywhere. She sat up as their eyes met through the glass. Taking a deep breath, she motioned for him to enter.
"Alex?"
"Izzie."
For a moment they just stared at one another and they were both taken back, to a time before wrinkles and graying hair. To a time when wishes were made on eyelashes and on poorly decorated birthday cakes. A time when the idea of an airstream trailer was as romantic as a fairytale wedding.
He shuffled around in the doorway awkwardly, clearly not sure how this would go. She knew, because she felt the same way. "Dr. Harris said you were here."
"I told her not to bother you." She sighed, sorry that he had been pulled away from his job.
He looked around the room at the monitors and machines, and his forehead wrinkled with concern. "What ... what's going on? Are you sick again?"
"Second recurrence. Metz on my liver. But I feel fine." She smiled up at him. She didn't want to bore him with details so she turned the conversation away from herself. "You look great. How are you doing?"
"I'm good." He was unnerved, she was certain. "I'm the head of pediatric surgery here."
"That's amazing. I'm proud of you. You did good, Alex." She motioned for him to sit in the chair next to her bed. He did. "So what else have you done with your life? Did you, um, ever get remarried?"
A signature half-smile appeared on his face. "Yeah. I did. About four years after you left. Rosanna. Rosie. I finished my residency at Seattle Grace and Dr. Robbins helped me get a position at Phoenix Children's. Rosie was a child psychologist there. We hit it off and a year later we got married."
She grinned, grateful knowing that he had moved on and he had been happy all these years. That really was all she ever wanted for him. After she had gotten over the hurt of him wanting her to leave, she wanted him to have a good, stable, happy life. Apparently he'd done just that. "That's great. Any kids?"
"A daughter. Abigail." She could clearly see the pride shining in his eyes. "She's twenty seven. Married and living in Memphis. They've got a two-year-old little girl, Anna Rose, and and a boy on the way in about three and a half months."
A giggle escaped her lips. He raised an eyebrow at her outburst. "Sorry. It's just you, Alex Karev, are a grandfather."
"Funny, Iz. But I've got pictures." He pulled pictures out of his wallet and handed them to her. A dark haired young woman with Alex's eyes sat on a bench holding a little girl with curly brown hair and a big ice cream-covered smile. She also had Alex's eyes.
"They are beautiful, Alex. You and your wife must be so proud."
His smile faltered a bit when his wife was mentioned. "We, uh. ..." He looked away. "We lost Rosie about five years ago. Car accident. It was quick and she wasn't in any pain. It was tough though because Abbi had just gotten married. So I was alone in that damn house that we'd built. I couldn't take it. That's when I moved up here and took this job."
"Oh, Alex." She couldn't stop the look of sympathy from appearing on her face, even though she knew he would hate it. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
He shrugged. "You couldn't know. I'm doing better. Moving on and all. I still miss her. But I'm just glad I had her with me for as long as I did." He quickly changed the subject. "So what about you? Where'd the Carter come from?"
"Uh, my asshole of an ex-husband," she said with a roll of her eyes.
"I thought that was my title," he smirked.
"You weren't an asshole." She grinned. "Not all of the time anyway. This guy made a living at it. He's a lawyer. Which was really convenient when he decided he didn't want to be married to a woman with cancer. He left me after they found the first recurrence about eight years ago. He promised to pay for any treatments I needed and a hefty alimony if I signed the divorce papers immediately. By that time his new young, healthy girlfriend had practically moved in."
"You're right. He is an asshole. Why'd you marry someone like that."
She sighed. "He wasn't always like that. When I met him he was kind and understanding. We would spend hours talking about the future and what we wanted out of life. He wanted to be successful and wanted to take care of me. I think that may have been what I was looking for in someone at that point. He didn't want children, so that ... I guess that was one of the reasons I let myself I fall in love with him, too. No pressure to reproduce." She laughed nervously as she realized who she was talking to.
He scooted the chair closer to the bed and locked her eyes with his. "Iz, you always wanted kids. Why'd you saddle yourself with someone who didn't want to be a father?"
"Alex, that would have meant adoption and after I gave Hannah up, I just didn't feel right about that. The only other option ..." Her voice faded out and she looked away.
He rolled his eyes. "You could have called. We could have figured something out. I actually always expected that call."
She was surprised at his admission. "You did?"
"Yeah. You should have been someone's mom, Izzie."
"A little late for that now," she replied, wryly. "Doesn't matter. I was always afraid that the cancer might come back. I wouldn't have wanted to leave a child motherless. It would hurt too badly." She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "But when David left, I was at least where I could make some choices for myself without worrying about kids. It gave me a chance to do things I've always wanted to do without having to worry about anyone but myself. I took the money and after I finished my treatments I went to Italy like I've always talked about. Spent the whole summer in Tuscany. Best treatment I've ever had really."
He leaned back in his chair. "What's your prognosis this time?"
"Well, Dr. Harris said everything should be fine. The tumor hadn't grown in the last week, so they should be able to get it all. I'll be back on my feet in no time. I rented a place not far away so that I could get my chemo here. I should be released in a week. I heard she was the best, so I figured why not. I'm not paying for it."
He chuckled. "She is a fantastic doctor. A good person too."
"Well, I'll say this, she's far more sympathetic than Swinder ever was." This caused them both to laugh.
At that moment, Alex's pager went off and he looked down at the screen. 911. "Damn. I've got to go, Izzie. ER's paging me." He stood up and moved toward the door. "What time is your surgery?"
"7a.m."
"I'll stop by when you get out of recovery, then." He paused with his hand on the door knob. "If that's okay." He sounded suddenly unsure.
She smiled back at him. "That sounds great. I could use the company."
"See you tomorrow, then." A smile appeared on his face and he disappeared out the door. A small giggle fell from her lips, and she lay back down, almost immediately slipping into a dream-filled sleep.
The days following her surgery were spent resting and catching up with Alex whenever he had a spare minute to stop by, which wound up being a couple of times a day. He'd bring her dinner and they'd sit and eat and reminisce. They were quickly falling back into the comfortable friendship they had known so many years before, when things weren't complicated.
"Oh, it feels so good to be out of that hospital bed."
"It's only been three days, Iz."
He pushed her through the hospital's gardens in her wheel chair as she took in the fresh air. "True. But since my divorce I've become a bit of an outdoors girl. When I was in Tuscany, I never went inside. And when I did I kept windows and doors open. I've even taken myself camping a few times in the last few years. There really is nothing like waking up to the sound of birds chirping and a creek babbling nearby."
"Wow. You sound like Derek Shepard."
She laughed, thinking back to her time in Seattle. "I always loved that old trailer."
He parked her chair in front of a bench and sat down so that he was facing her. "You mean that tin can in the woods? Surrounded by bears and other four-legged carnivores?"
"It wasn't that bad, Alex."
"It was pretty bad."
"Face it, you just don't like the outdoors."
"I never claimed to be an outdoorsman. I'm a bar guy."
She shook her head at him. "Still the same Alex. Your hair's just gray and you've got more wrinkles."
Their conversation was broken by a child's voice across the yard. "Papa!" Alex's head shot up and looked in the direction of the sound. A huge smile appeared on his face and he stood up walking over to the little girl who had broken into a run toward him. "Papa!"
"Annie!" He picked her up and tossed her up in the air, causing a waterfall of giggles to pour out of the child's mouth. "Hey kiddo. What are you doing here?" He looked up to find his daughter nearing him, grin on her face.
"Well, we decided there was no reason to wait until tomorrow to fly up. Somebody couldn't wait to see her Papa." She moved close to her father and hugged him tightly. "Hey Daddy."
He kissed her forehead. "Hey baby. Where's Phillip?"
"He decided to wait and come up tomorrow. Some kind of meeting at the office in the morning."
A practiced scowl appeared on his face. "That boy works too hard. You're only here for a few days. He should have come with you."
"You love him and you know it." Abbi giggled, knowing her father had a real soft spot for her husband.
Alex looked down at where his second grandchild was growing."How's the little one?"
"He's fine. I think he has a future in soccer or karate, though. He's kicking me way more than Annie ever did," she said, patting her rounding stomach. "I went to my OB yesterday and she said everything is just like it should be."
"Good." He looked behind him to find Izzie still in her wheel chair, smile on her face. "Come here. I want you to meet someone." He walked back over to the bench, granddaughter still in his arms. "Abbi, this is Izzie Steve ... uh, Carter."
A look a familiarity crossed over the young woman's eyes, unnerving Izzie a bit. She wasn't sure what, if anything, Alex had told his family about her. Would Abigail see her as the bitch who broke her father's heart. Or would she even know that he was married before. She prepared for the worst, waiting for the other woman to speak.
"You're Izzie. Dad's first wife." Her expression wasn't angry or upset. Rather it was a look of shock mixed with fascination. Izzie looked over to Alex, not exactly sure what to say.
Alex could clearly read the surprise on Izzie's face. "She knows the story. Rosie and I told her when she was about thirteen and found our wedding photo in a box in the storage room."
"I freaked out when I saw it." Abbi sat down on the bench close to Izzie's chair. "You know, my dad with another women. You know how teenage girls can be. Everything is a moment for drama. I always wondered if I'd get to meet you. I thought you were so beautiful in the photo. And the flowers and the candles were perfect. I actually based the decorations at my own wedding on that photo."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Mom and Dad got married in a friends backyard in Arizona, so they had cactus for decorations. It worked for them, but I wanted tons of flowers and candles. Like you had."
"Yeah, I may have saved money on our wedding, Iz, but I wound up paying for it double when I got the bill for her's." They all laughed, and Izzie relaxed. She still wasn't sure what all Alex had told his daughter about her, but she was relieved that there was no animosity.
"So ..."
"So what?" Alex looked at Abbi later that night as she sat across the living room at his house. His daughter eyed him mischievously. He's seen that look many, many times over the years. He knew to brace himself when she started talking.
"So, what's the deal with Izzie?"
"She's getting some treatment for a recurrence of cancer." He looked back down at the newspaper in his lap, hoping she'd change the subject. But he knew better. She was stubborn and wouldn't back off when she got something in her mind.
"Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about with you and her."
He looked up. "I found out she was in the hospital and went to visit her. She's got no family, so I've been keeping her company when I'm not working. That's all."
"Okay." He could tell by the sound of her voice that she didn't think it was quite that innocent.
"What does that mean?"
"That means she's just as beautiful now as she was in that photo from thirty some-odd years ago. Older, but still beautiful." She raised her eyebrows at him, as if trying to get him to follow what she was saying. "You're both single. Maybe your timing was just off back then."
"Are you trying to set me up with my ex-wife?" Alex's jaw hung open in surprise.
Abbi shurgged, smirk appearing on her face. "Not trying to set you up. Just giving you a little push, really."
He scoffed at the notion. "Abbi, I'm 63 years old! I'm a widower, for crying out loud."
She rose from the sofa and sat down on the ottoman in front of his big leather chair. "And Mom would want you to be happy, Dad. You know as well as I do that she'd be pissed at you for being alone for so long. She'd walk up to you, yell something at you in Spanish that you didn't understand and then tease you until you did what she wanted." He just stared at her as she kept talking. Her voice softened. "You know it's true. She would want you to be happy. That's all she ever wanted."
"I can't just go back, Abbi. It's been a long, long time. It's complicated."
"No it's not." She paused, looking down at her hands. "Dad, I'm going to ask you a question and I need you to 100% honest with me." He nodded. "Did you ever stop loving her?"
Alex swallowed, not exactly sure how to answer. "I loved your mother, Abbi. I still do."
"I know that. I'm not questioning your love for mom. But that's not what I asked you."
He sighed, leaning back in the chair, thinking deeply before responding. "I think a part of my heart was always reserved for Izzie. Not necessarily the same way. Over the years, I came to love what we had before things went bad. I let go of those hurt feelings."
"I've seen the pictures. The look you had in your eyes when you married Izzie was different from the look in your eyes when you married Mom. Not better or worse ... just different. I saw that same look in your eyes when you watched her at the Hospital today, Dad. You probably weren't even aware that you were looking at her that way, but you were. Spending time with her makes you happy. So keep spending time with her. That's all I'm saying."
A chuckle escaped from his lips. "When did you get so damn smart? And so grown up?"
She shrugged and they laughed together.
"I brought take-out."
Izzie looked up from her spot on the couch in the apartment she had rented as Alex let himself in the door. She had been back in the rental for a week and had been relieved, really, when Alex said he wanted to help her out after she was released from the hospital. She could get around okay, but she was glad to have a friend around. It was comforting more than anything.
"What kind?"
He moved closer to her holding several bags of food. "Chinese. That okay?"
"Sounds delicious. But, you know, anything is better than hospital food."
He placed the bags on the coffee table beside the couch, and sat on the ground between the two pieces of furniture. He handed her a box of rice and vegetables, followed by a plate of kung pow chicken. As they had settled into a routine of doing, he began their conversation by telling her about his most recent cases. Even though it had been years since she'd practiced, she still was fascinated by medicine. He filled her in on some of the new treatments and techniques and to both of them it felt like old times.
"Do you remember when we used to do this at Meredith's old house? All of us would just pile into the living room and watch Ellis' surgery tapes."
"Until someone brought out the liquor, and we all passed out by 3 am."
She laughed at the memories. "Good times."
A comfortable silence settled over them, but she could tell that something was on Alex's mind. Whatever it was had been on his mind for the past week since before she was released from the hospital. "Alex? Is everything okay? You're acting like something's wrong."
He shook his head and smiled at her. "Nothing's wrong," he assured her. He took a moment to shovel some food into his mouth and then looked up at her. "So after you get the all clear from Harris. Then what?"
"What do you mean?" The change in his tone confused her slightly.
"I guess I'm asking, where's home now, Iz?"
She bit back a laugh. "You know what's sad? I have no idea. When David and I were married, we lived in Maryland. Baltimore. Before that I moved around a lot. I guess I fell back into that after the divorce."
He cleared his throat, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Have you ever thought about staying here? In Chicago?"
"I ... haven't really thought about it one way or another, Alex. You think I should?"
"Yeah," he said enthusiastically. "It's a great city. There's lots to do here. Plenty of restaurant and museums. Parks. The Lake. It's beautiful. Plus, I mean if something were to happen. You'd be close to Dr. Harris and the hospital. You know, just in case. She is the best."
"True."
"And ... you'd have a friend close by." She almost laughed at the shyness that glimmered in his hazel eyes. He was so much older, and so much more sure of himself, but it was clear that even at an older age, little boy Alex Karev wasn't far from the surface.
But when he looked up, his eyes met her's. The shyness disappeared and a mature intensity took it's place on his face. It was like going back in time three decades. She could feel her heart begin to pound just like it did when he used to look at her this way. He reached out to touch her cheek, the connection of their eyes never wavering. He leaned toward her and their lips met and Izzie felt a passion that she hadn't felt in years.
She knew she shouldn't but she opened her eyes to look at him. Suddenly the memories came pouring back and they scared her. The guilt that she'd lived with for so many years washed back over her. She wanted to push that all away. Screw the guilt. She just wanted to feel something. Something that wasn't cancer related. Something that didn't make her feel like a failure. But looking at his face and remembering all of the times he'd kissed her like this before she left, caused her to pull back.
"Alex. Alex, stop."
"Iz ..." confusion marred his voice as he complied with her request.
"I'm sorry. I just ... I can't. I'm so sorry." He looked dejected. Sad. And she hated that. But she couldn't do this to him. Not again. "I think ... It might be best if you leave. I just need some time, Alex."
He sighed but stood to go. "Okay. I'll leave, Iz." She wouldn't let her eyes meet his. Not again. She would give in and stop him and she couldn't do that. The sound of the door slamming behind him caused her to jump. Immediately the tears started flowing and continued to fall as quickly as she could wipe them away. All the while she could still feel the electricity from the kiss coursing through her.
The knock on the door came just as she closed the oven. Soon enough the small apartment would be filled with the smells of chocolate cake. In the last twelve hours, it had also been filled with the smell of muffins and pies and cupcakes and bread. She was venting her frustration in the best way that she knew how ... by baking. She wiped her hands on the old apron she wore and moved to answer the door. She wasn't sure who it might be, as Alex was at work. And after last night she was pretty sure she wouldn't see him again anytime soon.
She was greeted with a big, slightly nervous grin. "Hi. I know you weren't expecting company, and I won't stay long, but I wanted to talk to you."
"Uh, sure. Come on in." She moved out of her way, allowing for Alex's daughter to step inside the small apartment.
Shedding her coat and placing her hands on her still growing belly, she took a seat on the cozy sofa. "I'm really sorry to barge in here like this. I just ... I talked to dad last night. He told me what happened."
"Abbi..."
"I couldn't just sit home and do nothing. And I know it was silly to fly all the way up here just to talk to you, but I didn't feel like I had a choice. You make him happy, Izzie. Really, really happy. For the first time since mom died, he's happy. I don't know why you told him to leave last night. I'm sure you had your reasons. I'm not judging you, I swear. I just need to find out if there is any chance you might change your mind?"
Izzie sighed and sat down at the other end of the sofa. "It's not a matter of me changing my mind, Abbi. I haven't changed my mind about your father in 33 years. I've always loved him deep down. But I hurt him. Badly. It wouldn't be fair to him to go there again."
"He's an adult. Let him make that decision. You may not know it, but he still loves you too." Izzie looked skeptical. "If he didn't last night wouldn't have happened." She knew the young woman had a point. Alex wouldn't put his heart on the line again like that if it didn't mean something. She listened as Abbi continued. "You never knew my mom. She was a great mother. A wonderful woman. She was smart, funny, beautiful. She always had it together. She and daddy were the couple that other people hated. He treated her like a queen. But as I got older and he and I got closer I realized from all that he told me that he wasn't always like that. Someone changed him. I'm guessing that person was you. Mom was the love of his life but you were the love that defined him. Izzie, he needs that in his life again. He's lost right now. He needs you."
"I don't want to hurt him again, Abbi."
"What makes you think that you will? Izzie, it's been 33 years. You're different now. He's different now. Don't keep acting like you are still the same person. You need to move past it. He wants you to move past it. I know him better than anyone on the planet. He wants to love you again like he did so many years ago. A blind person could see it. Why can't you?"
She looked over at the girl, and she realized at that moment that she had absolutely no good answer. It was at that moment that she realized why.
He had to focus on the chart, he knew that, but his mind wouldn't stop traveling back to two nights ago. To the kiss. The fact that he could still feel the magic from that moment unnerved him. But she'd rejected him. Again. He couldn't believe that after all of the years that had passed, she still had that power over him. The power to render him helpless. The power to make him want to trust, to want to give in. But history repeated itself.
Truth was he hadn't felt a kiss like that since before Rosie died. He loved his wife with all of his heart, but they'd settled into a comfortable life. It had felt right to kiss her, right to make love to her. But the passion that Izzie brought about in him, was completely different. He hated himself for comparing the two. He'd done it their entire marriage, and he knew that it was wrong. But whatever the circumstances, he wouldn't have changed their years together for anything.
"Alex!" Her voice broke through his thoughts and echoed around his office. He looked up to find Izzie standing in the doorway. He wasn't sure what the look on her face meant. She was smiling. "I know I should have called ahead in case you were in surgery, but I needed to see you."
He hesitated. "Oh. Um. Okay. Come on in." He motioned to the chair in front of his desk but she didn't sit down. "What do you need?"
"I was wrong. I was scared because I couldn't let go of what happened the first time around, Alex. I didn't want to do that to you again, and I felt guilty. For pushing you away. For running. For treating you like shit." She kept talking and began to pace as he got up and moved around the oak desk, leaning on it so he could watch her better. "I went over it and over it in my head and it didn't sink in until Abbi came by my apartment last night ... "
"Abbi was here?"
"... Yes. She told me all about you and Rosanna and what your life was like. She told me you were happy. And I was so glad to hear that. But she told me that you haven't been happy since you lost her. Which is understandable. But then she told me that I make you happy. And for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. So I didn't believe her. I hurt you so, so much for so long. I couldn't let you make that mistake again. But your daughter made me realize that I'm not 29 anymore, Alex. We've both been through a lot since then. But we've come out the other side better people and we deserve to be happy. I know that you make me happy, but I didn't want to impinge on your happiness. I have been fighting that guilt for 33 years and I don't want to fight it anymore. So I need you to tell me. Can I make you happy? If not, then I'll pack my things tomorrow and leave Chicago. Otherwise ...."
She never finished her statement. He'd stopped her with the press of his lips to hers. It was slow but fiery at first, causing them both to feel what they hadn't felt in so long. He brought his hands to her face, deepening the kiss and he knew he was giving her her answer.
She, in that moment, made him happy. And nothing would ever change that.
She moved in with him a few months later. Gradually her touches became apparent as his house became their home. It wasn't the hospital or an airstream trailer in the woods of the northwest. This was real. And they were content. Happy, even.
He retired three years later and they moved from the busy streets of ChiTown to the pristine beaches of Florida. It was secluded and private and they loved it there. It was where they finally settled down and where they welcomed friends and family for visits. Izzie came to love the summer when Abbi, Philip, Anna Rose, Phillip Jr. (affectionately known as P.J.) and little Alexander came for two month-long visits. She was grateful that Alex's daughter had welcomed her into the family as though she had always belonged. And while she may have missed raising a child of her own, spending time with the grandchildren was the greatest joy in her life.
Alex and Izzie made a few trips during this time to visit their family in Memphis and to catch up with their friends in Philadelphia, Phoenix and Seattle. The last trip they took there was to help their dear friend Meredith say goodbye to the love of her life. They were able to visit the places they remembered from back then and put to rest some demons that continued to haunt them. They knew when they left, that they'd never go back, as their life back on that quiet beach was where they wanted to be.
They'd made a pact, a promise to each other that the past was the past and that they'd never wonder or worry about what happened decades before. It was irrelevant to them. They'd survived. They'd lived their lives and they had been happy. And now they were happy again with one another.
He left her quietly one night at the age of 80. It was peaceful and she was glad that he wasn't in pain. They'd had seventeen wonderful years together and she wouldn't trade that time for anything. When she went a mere three months later, there was a smile on her face.
Abbi stood there as they lowered her step-mother's casket into the ground next to the still fresh dirt in front of her father's headstone, and two spaces down from her own mother's, and thought back to the woman who she'd grown to love. The only grandmother that her children knew. And she knew that the woman from the photograph she'd found so many years ago had made her father happy again.
And that was all that any of them ever wanted.
So, that was it. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you thought about this story.
And look for the sequel to "Again" very soon.