Intertwined

Disclaimer: lalalaalalaa...I still don't own CCS!

Hiiii! I'm back with another fic. My brother gave me this idea after reading a lot of HP switched bodies fics. You guys obviously know what's in store for this...hehe I'll try to make this as funny as possible.

Summary: In which Sakura and Syaoran's boss, tired of their constant quarreling and complaints, enlists in the the help of two magicians, who promptly make the two switch bodies. The only way for them to switch back is to learn to love each other...that's not too much to ask for, is it?

Act I

Intro

" And now, ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the story of two difficult people," Yue said solemnly as he read from the script Eriol had handed to him a minute ago. " Sakura and Syaoran worked together in the same building," he continued in the same monotonous voice he had used for the previous sentence, " They absolutely detested each other, from the--"

He was abruptly cut off as Eriol shoved him to the side. Now Eriol was in the spotlight, and he was thoroughly enjoying it, might I add.

" Dudes, this is not like, a tragedy, ya know?" Eriol said smoothly as he adjusted his navy blue toupee. He cleared his throat, smiled charmingly, winked, and proceeded. " Okay, lemme break it down. Saku and lil Syaoran worked in the same boring office, ya know? But, like that dude said," here he broke off and jerked his thumb in Yue's direction, " they like, totally hated each other. Like, for example, Saku hated Syaoran's hair. And like, Syaoran hated Saku's brains."

Offstage, Yue cleared his throat. " You're not following the script, young one."

Eriol rolled his eyes in Yue's direction. " Dude, like you gotta stop taking this too seriously. I mean, you gotta improvise. Otherwise life's never gonna be fun."

Yue put up his hand. " Want me to curse you so that more of your hair falls out? I could do an improvement on that job I did yesterday," he said through gritted teeth.

Eriol put up his hands to his hair. " Noooo! Please, save me some of my beautiful hair! I'm already wearing a toupee for crying out loud, you want to make me lose enough hair so that I'll have to wear a wig?"

" Then get on with the narrative," Yue said through still clenched teeth, " and follow the script this time!"

" All right, all right already," grumbled Eriol. " So anyway, you're about to read the story 'Intertwined', written by shadowy dreamer."

offstage

" Dude, why is it called 'Intertwined' anyway?" Eriol asked Yue.

Yue shrugged diffidently. " I don't know, ask dreamer. She's the crazy one who made up the title."

" Right. That's what I'll go do," said Eriol. He sashayed towards the exit, wiggling his hips like crazy.

" By the way," said Yue as Eriol was making his dramatic exit, " nice outfit."

Eriol looked down. " Oh yeah, thanks dude."

He was wearing a long, frilly pink dress which reached all the way to his ankle. In addition to that, he was wearing a tight denim miniskirt. Worst of all...

" Nice bra," commented Yue casually.

Eriol grinned sheepishly. " Eh...hehehe, erm...like the lace?"

Yue made an attempt at smiling. Unfortunately, his face wasn't built for smiling, so his expression was distorted into a sort of sneer. " Actually, I prefer sheer fabric. Come on, darling, there's a few things I would like to talk to you about, concerning the dress code."

Eriol gulped as Yue put a long arm around his shoulder and steered him towards the exit of the building. " How can you talk about the dress code? You're not even wearing a dress!"

Yue did not even bother to smile at his weak excuse of a joke.

End of Intro

onstage

Syaoran surveyed Sakura carefully from his window. She was running down the street, a harried expression on her face as the long ends of her thick green scarf streamed out from behind her. He grinned. Late as usual, Kinomoto. Then he turned back to his computer, his fingers quivering with anticipation as he wondered how she would react to his latest prank.

Sakura scurried into the building five minutes late. She panted and tried to catch her breath in the lobby.

" Ah, Miss Kinomoto!" said Mr. Matsuura as he spotted her, " you're just the person I was looking for." He strode over to where she stood, bent double and still panting.

Sakura didn't hear him as she was currently wearing a set of headphones. She did, however, see his black leather shoes in front of her face.

" Wow," she remarked as she examined her reflection, using his shiny shoes as a mirror, " My hair is certainly quite messy. Hm, I'll have to go to the ladies room before I go anywhere else today. Li is sure to tease me about my disheveled appearance if I don't comb my hair..." here she broke off her soliloquy to spare a few moments for cursing Syaoran Li under her breath.

" That bastard, that slime covered eel--" she cursed as her face grew steadily redder and redder with anger at the mere thought of him, "--that stupid banana brain, that giant idiotic shithead--"

Mr. Matsuura smiled to himself and took out his lunch. This is going to take a long time.

" That insensitive biotch, that crazy lunatic--" Sakura plowed on, oblivious to Mr. Matsuura's presence, "--that deranged cuckoo, that--"

Mr. Matsuura finished eating his glazed donut and checked his watch, raising his eyebrows with surprise and pleasure. She's been insulting him for more than five minutes! This is going down in the record books.

" That brainless git--" Sakura fumed on, still happily oblivious.

Mr. Matsuura decided he had enough. He reached down and plucked Sakura's headphones out of her ears. " I thought you said that he was a 'stupid banana brain', Kinomoto-san. How can he be a 'brainless git' at the same time?"

Sakura froze. Her eyes traveled from Mr. Matsuura's black leather shoes to his amused and twinkling eyes.

" Matsuura-san! I'm so sorry about that," Sakura said, straightening up. Her face was a deep crimson.

Mr. Matsuura laughed lightly. " That's quite all right, Kinomoto-san."

Sakura rubbed her head and sweatdropped. " Hehehe...erm...is there a reason why you're here?"

Mr. Matsuura nodded, glad that they were finally getting down to business. " Yes, Takuchi-san wanted me to give you some files."

He dropped a heavy stack of papers into Sakura's already loaded hands.

" Well, that should be all," said Mr. Matsuura as he walked off towards the elevator. " Coming, Kinomoto-san?"

Sakura nodded weakly as she took a few tentative steps towards the elevator.

" Ahh, excuse me. I forgot, those files are sure to be very heavy, especially since there are so many of them!" Mr. Matsuura exclaimed as he walked back to Sakura and tugged a few files out of her hands. " This ought to lighten the load." He smiled congenially.

The two of them were safely in the elevator before Sakura thought it safe to venture timidly, " Erm...Matsuura-san, I was wondering if you...uh...heard all the things I said about Li-san?"

" Oh, so now it's Li-san? Not 'that deranged cuckoo' anymore?" said Mr. Matsuura teasingly. Then, spotting the mortified look on Sakura's face, he laughed and said, " Yes, I heard most of the insults. But don't worry, Kinomoto-san, I wouldn't dream of telling anyone else, and especially not Li-san."

Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. " You won't tell Takuchi-san either, right?"

Mr. Matsuura grinned. " Why yes, I'll tell him."

Sakura's eyes grew wide. She groveled on the floor of the elevator, prepared to beg.

Just then, the elevator door opened on the eleventh floor. People were chatting and laughing, and they were about to enter the elevator when they spotted Sakura kneeling on the floor, surrounded by files, and Mr. Matsuura's grinning face.

There were giggles when Sakura looked from Mr. Matsuura to the people entering the elevator. " No, it's not what you guys think!" she said desperately as she grabbed her files and stood up hastily.

" Aww...was Sakura about to propose to Matsuura-san?" Meiling, Sakura's friend, fought her way through the crowd of people to stand next to her.

The people giggled even louder in the elevator. Mr. Matsuura merely laughed and smiled at Meiling. " Of course not, don't be ridiculous. And Kinomoto-san, I was just joking when I said I would tell Takuchi-san."

Meiling's eyes had a conspiratorial glint as she asked, " Tell what?"

Sakura, Meiling, and Mr. Matsuura entered Sakura's office. Meiling was giggling uncontrollably while Matsuura had a smile on his face. They set down all of the files on Sakura's very cluttered desk.

" It's really not that funny," Sakura groused as she turned on the heater. " Brr...it's so cold in here!"

Matsuura shook his head while Meiling continued to giggle, " And then Matsuura-san took out your headphones and you finally noticed he was there!"

Mr. Matsuura shook his head one last time and walked out of the office. " Well, good day, Kinomoto-san, Li-san." The two women nodded back at him.

After Sakura had evicted Meiling from her office by threatening to expose several of Meiling's deep, dark secrets to the world, she finally sat down at her desk and removed her coat.

She pulled the stack of files to her and opened the first one. Then she picked up a pen and absentmindedly squeezed it.

A gush of water hit her in the eye.

Syaoran tapped his foot impatiently as he spelled his own name wrong for the second time that day. Dammit, why isn't she reacting to my prank yet? Granted, it had only been fifteen minutes since he had seen her running down the street, but she was usually so quick to find wrong with him...he wondered if this sudden sluggishness was due to the fact that she was coming down with a cold, and panicked. What will I do when my only source of entertainment has to stay home for a few days? It'll be so boring without her screaming insults into my face! Syaoran thought mournfully as a funeral march played in his head.

" SYAORAN LI!"

The said Syaoran Li smiled as he felt happy and energized once more.

Sakura stormed into the office, her face red and her hair wilder than ever.

" LI!" she bellowed as she stomped towards his desk, " WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING, EH! TRYING TO MAKE ME CATCH A COLD, HUH? ADMIT TO IT, YOU TWIT!"

Syaoran pushed his chair back as she clambered onto his desk, bringing her livid face closer to his own.

" Cool it, Kinomoto. I have no idea what you're talking about," Syaoran said calmly. He attempted to banish the look of extreme fright that was about to creep stealthily onto his face.

Sakura must have noticed the frightened look that was dawning in his eyes. " Feeling scared, eh?" she lowered her voice to a deadly whisper. " You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Replacing the ink in my pen with water was ingenious, but you didn't think I would find out, did you?"

Syaoran gulped. " Erm...not really..." How was he to know that she would be so ticked off by a harmless gush of water hitting her in the eye? He thought it would be a laugh for him...well, now that he stopped to think about it, this was really quite funny. Her face was redder than a tomato, and her hair was frizzy and sticking out in all directions. Her eyes were bugging out while her teeth were bared. Really, had she not been advancing on him with her hands outstretched in a death grip, it would have been quite entertaining and amusing.

"Do you have anything to say before you're about to die?" Sakura smiled eerily as she exposed all of her teeth.

Syaoran felt a bead of sweat slide inobtrusively (he hoped) down his temple. Suddenly, in one stroke, inspiration came to him. " Yes..." he said slowly, wondering if this was about to work, " tickle attack!"

Sakura was caught completely off guard as she was pinned down to Syaoran's desk. He was tickling her stomach, and she was now laughing helplessly.

" HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Li-Li-stop it!" Sakura shrieked.

" I vill teeckle you unteel your eensides vall out!" said Syaoran, attempting to speak with an European accent. (Needless to say, it was really bad.)

The door burst open. " What on earth is going on in here?" Mr. Takuchi, their boss, stood at the door.

Syaoran froze completely. Sakura stopped laughing when Syaoran stopped tickling. " What? What, Li? Why are you stopping?"

Takuchi-san stood at the door, his blood pressure rising.

Let us take the unbiased view of an outsider. Sakura is currently sprawled on Syaoran's desk, and Syaoran's hands are placed on a very interesting part of her body. Of course, you readers may say, " His hands are on her stomach! What's wrong with that?" But alas, remember that Takuchi is biased. He can't see that Syaoran's hands are really on her stomach. He's currently very angry, and angry people see a distorted version of the truth. What he saw was that Syaoran's hands were on Sakura's...chest.

Being angry really changes things, right? Of course.

Sakura had finally got wind of the situation. Syaoran immediately removed his hands from her stomach. Did I say that he felt scared before? Well, if so, that was nothing compared to his feelings of fright now.

Takuchi-san advanced on his two hapless employees. He cracked his knuckles threateningly.

" I-you-" stuttered Syaoran incoherently.

" We-we-we" Sakura stammered.

"You two." Takuchi composed himself enough to say. " You're coming down--to my office."

"Explain yourselves," said Takuchi, his eyes ominously dark and stormy.

Sakura and Syaoran looked at each other, uncertain of where to start.

"All right then. I defer to women. (A/N: Something my English teacher is fond of saying. Credits go to him.) Ladies first," said Takuchi.

Sakura opened her mouth to explain, but Takuchi cut her off. " No, I meant the other lady," he said stonily.

Syaoran looked around. Who was he talking to? Then comprehension dawned on him. That's not fair..." Oh, hehe, Takuchi-san, you mean me..."

Although this situation was dire, Sakura tried to suppress a laugh. I might as well laugh since Takuchi looks like he's going to kill me...

" I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Kinomoto-san. After all, for all I know, you may as well be a man in disguise," said Takuchi, grimacing at the thought.

Now it was Syaoran's turn to snicker as Sakura blushed. They both recalled that Takuchi had a bad habit of insulting them in the worst way possible--that is to say, questioning their gender.

Syaoran began nervously, " Well, you see, erm...I filled Kinomoto-san's pen with water, so that when she squeezed it, a gush of water would hit her, preferably in the face. And well, she got angry at me. She stormed into my office and starting threatening to rid me of my genitals, which I take great pride in--" here he was cut off by an angry growl on Sakura's part and an amused cough from Takuchi.

" I most certainly did not! Takuchi-san, he doesn't even have genitals to begin with!" cried a very flustered Sakura.

" Oh, and how do you know this, Kinomoto-san?" questioned an even more amused Takuchi. Now that his initial anger had worn off, he was quite disposed to toy with them for a while. At least it was more entertaining than the stock market quotes flung at him all day.

Sakura reddened again, and Syaoran coughed. He continued, " And then...well, I wasn't thinking, so I started to tickle her. She was laughing, and that's when you came in."

Takuchi raised an eyebrow. " Tickling? Well, yes, in a way. But weren't your hands on Kinomoto-san's chest?"

The cat was out of the bag; Sakura and Syaoran both knew what was making Takuchi more infuriated than usual.

" Oh!" they both exclaimed at once, " You thought that we were taking time out of our schedules to have a sex session!"

Takuchi coughed again, his face red.

" Oh, erm..." Syaoran cast a warning look at Sakura, " Takuchi-san, I swear on my grandmother's grave that I wasn't doing anything inappropriate to Kinomoto-san. I was just tickling her, innocently. Please, believe me!"

Sakura chimed, " Takuchi-san, please believe him. He wasn't doing anything...er...wrong with me. It was innocent!"

Takuchi looked from one desperate, pleading face to the other even more desperate, pleading face. He gave in. " Oh, all right, I know you didn't do anything wrong!" He sighed, exasperated as his two relieved employees got down on the floor and groveled before him.

" Oh thank you, great Takuchi-san, for believing us!" Syaoran and Sakura said simultaneously.

Takuchi pressed a hand to his temple and sighed. " You are dismissed," he muttered. " And if I get so much as a yell from one of your rooms, you two will really be in for it!" he yelled after their retreating backs.

The door closed behind them. Takuchi got up and went to his medicine cabinet. He took out a bottle of aspirin and poured a glass of water. Then he downed the pill and water in a gulp. Wiping his mustache, he sighed and banged his head on his desk.

" Those two are a pain in the ass," he muttered, " but they're too valuable to be fired!"

Syaoran smirked at Sakura, who pretended not to notice him.

The elevator stopped on the tenth floor and the third occupant left. No one got in, and so when the door closed, Sakura thought it safe to start yelling at Syaoran.

" You absolute baboon! It was all your fault!" Sakura yelled.

"Well, you looked like you were enjoying the tickling session. Don't put all the blame on me!" Syaoran snapped back.

" You started it by pranking me!" Sakura shouted.

" No, you started it by tripping me on my first day here!" said Syaoran, eyes narrowed as he recalled the humiliation of his first day.

Sakura sighed, exasperated. " Well, you retaliated! Besides, how many times do I have to tell you that it was an accident!"

Syaoran could only say, " Oh yeah?"

Sakura screamed back, " YEAH!"

The two of them leaned strode to opposite sides of the elevator, fuming. Each refused to look at the other. Instead, they contented themselves with staring up at the ceiling.

The elevator opened, and the two of them found themselves on the twentieth floor.

" Hmph!" Sakura stalked off to her office, her nose in the air.

Syaoran sent one last smirk at her before retreating into his office.

Takuchi walked the streets of Tokyo during his lunch break, muttering to himself. " How am I supposed to make them get along? They've been pranking each other since Li started working here at my office..."

He stopped at a busy intersection and stared vaguely at the many advertisments plastered to the lamp post.

A hot pink flier caught his eye.

Are your employees fighting tooth and nail? Do you need someone to tame them? If so, call 1-800-EMPLOYEEHELP. You'll find twenty-four hour service and two experts especially trained to soothe tensions between your employees. Just give us a call, and we guarantee your worries and headaches will be over within a month! And if not, we will return your money.

Underneath that were several strips of paper with the toll free number printed on it.

" Hell," said Takuchi, " I'll welcome anything right now."

He tore a strip of paper off and pocketed it.

Takuchi decided to make the call in the privacy of a noisy restaurant.

" Hello, Employment Soothing Agency," said an annoyingly buoyant voice.

" Hey, uh, I'm looking for some help. My two employees are driving me absolutely nuts," muttered Takuchi.

" Sir! Please speak up. No offense, but your connection sucks," chirped the cheerful person.

Takuchi was about to curse at him, but decided against it. " My employees are driving me nuts!" he practically shouted.

" That's all right, sir! We'll drive away your agitation. Just give us your address and your consternation will be driven away as soon aswe dispatch two trained professionals to handle this seemingly difficult case!" said the voice.

Takuchi muttered his address into the phone, and the voice said, " Right, sir! Expect to see the two trained professionals at 1:00!"

" Thanks," said Takuchi.

" No problem at all, sir. Just doing my duty!" said the person, as debonair and light as ever.

Takuchi felt slightly more cheerful as he helped himself to some of his favorite sushi. Who knows? They might really be helpful.

Outro

Eriol stepped onto the stage. " And that, folks, was your first chapter of 'Intertwined'! We really hoped you enjoyed it. Dreamer worked very hard on this, so please review! And of course, you guys will have to say how fantastic I am."

Yue rolled his eyes. " Get off the stage, you dolt! Dreamer wants to say something."

Eriol flippedsome locks of his new lavender wigover his shoulder. " Right, Yue. Come on, let's go!"

End of Outro

offstage

Dreamer: Hey! What's up guys? Did you like the chappie? lols, PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT THIS TO BE CONTINUED. Remember, no reviews, no new chappie!

But neways, thanks for reading! And big thanks to FlowerLover, Pinagrryl and Rushi Star. (btw, thanks for reminding me that authors aren't supposed to reply to reviews!)

This is my first humor fic, so please be nice!

Eriol: Actually, you are more than welcome to flame her.

Dreamer: (wacks Eriol on the head) Yes, I've adopted a new muse.

Yue: Hey, what about me?

Dreamer: Oh no, you're just part of the offstage woodwork.

(Yue stomps off, dragging Eriol behind him.)

Dreamer: Uh...better go check on Eriol.