Sheldon Swifties : "Scenarios …"

Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…

"Leonard!..." pounding on door. "Leonard…Leonard…Leonard!"

Oh, no…a weary Leonard Hofstadter sighed, rubbing face, looking over across her apartment's coffee table to his "new bride", Penny "Hofstadter" who returned stare…

"Not again, Sheldon?"

"Leonard! I have it." The voice at Penny's door. "There's only one reason Amy would break up with me. She's been kidnapped! Kidnapped by the North Koreans and replaced by a double."

"What…?" Leonard blinked. "Sheldon…You told us five minutes ago it was aliens."

"I said I was 90 percent sure but had to complete my scan for electromagnetic tracings…Or rather, Howard did. But we've confirmed there were no sightings or the usual tracings detected. So it must be North Koreans. So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Me?..." as Penny stared at him, Leonard shook head. "How am I responsible for North Koreans kidnapping…"

"Joyce Kim. She's back for revenge and to redeem herself for her failure at my hands, obviously. Now she's been ordered to target me."

"Honey." Penny sighed. "Why wouldn't this person…Whom Leonard still has never told me about in any detail…" frown at Leonard. "Just kidnap you?"

"She means to get me to provide false data to the government…Or steal data…How can I say, she hasn't sent me her demands yet? Now let me in so Leonard can help me plan strategy to rescue my near-fiancee."

"Oh, Sheldon, that is so sweet…" Penny smiled at Leonard. "Look, when Amy calls me, I'll try to talk her into speaking to you. I bet when she hears you actually got a ring, it's tiara time all over again…"

"Oh, can the romantic sentimentality!" Sheldon's voice fumed. "Amy Farrah Fowler would never just abandon her efforts with me. She has too much labor invested and the fruits have been plopping into her lap these past years for her to give up like this."

"Plopping?" Leonard blinked.

"Girlfriend agreement, cuddling, my putting hers as my emergency number, my manly decking of both you and Wil Wheaton for her in physical contest, my train kiss…We just agreed to go to Mars together and reproduce there, Leonard…"

"He does have a point there…" Leonard noted. "But Sheldon, you've come to us with five different scenarios for why Amy must've been forced to break up with you…Or her copy did…Before aliens, it was international drug cartelers who wanted you to 'break bad'…Before that it was a plot by your mom and her church to keep you from fornicating…"

"Yeah, thanks for that picture in my mind, Sheldon…" Penny noted. Still, she gave Leonard a worried look…Writing as Leonard looked at her, finally holding up sheet as he continued.

"Before that it was she'd been forcibly recruited by a secret government agency to fight a new bovine spongiform encephalitis epidemic…Which does show a little respect for her skills, by the way…You've grown, buddy. Before that…Donald Trump had grabbed her to force you to build a time machine so he could avoid making a fool of himself in this presidential campaign…"

Leonard…Hiss from Penny. He looked over.

"She hasn't called me…She'd never not call me about this. Something's wrong." Written on sheet.

"Leonard, will you and Penny put aside your trivial little repeat romantic failure and let me in?" Sheldon called. "We have more important matter to discuss than your pathetic attempt to carry on with the claim you finally got married in Vegas."

"Sheldon. We, uh, did get married in Vegas." Penny insisted.

Didn't we? She eyed Leonard. He gave sheepish nod.

Think so…We were kinda drunk…I still have to check with the Elvis chapel.

"And I still want to hear details about this Joyce Kim." she hissed.

…..

Meanwhile in an underground parking garage…

"So it's understood that once you get the real reason Sheldon Cooper abandoned string theory…I get Sheldon Cooper." The slender brown-haired woman, very similar to Amy Farrah Fowler in appearance in chin and form though slighter and perhaps a hair taller in normal shoes rather than the sensible orthopedics she'd worn in her impersonation at Sheldon's apartment, along with a bit of padding, cardigan, and the best cosmetic trickery the North Korean State Security Service could provide.

"Of course Dr. Fowler…" Joyce Kim, sunglassed, dark hair bunned, in formal business suit, nodded as they stood by a white, unmarked van…A slight noise within. "Once we know what secret project Dr. Cooper has been recruited for, given his unflagging devotion to string all his career, we'll be quite willing to let you have him."

"And of course, my sister must never return." Stern look. "And nothing must link her disappearance to me when I show as myself to console poor Sheldon."

"It will be necessary to keep her alive…To prove from time to time that she is so, so that Dr. Cooper will cooperate in future." Kim eyed the rather lovely Charlotte Fowler, pediatrician and slightly older sister of Amy Farrah Fowler…The image of actress Charlotte Gainsbourg and so remarkably similar to both Amy and their great aunt the famed actress Margaret Hamilton.

Hard to believe this one spent years looking like her photos, suffering from Elephant Man's disease in France…Kim thought.

"Just so long as she never returns, Ms. Kim. You do that and I'll see Sheldon accepts that he must 'cooperate' to save my poor sister."

"You aren't bothered by the fact that it means your…" dear god, Sheldon Cooper, that doofus who stopped me from completing my mission and the best sex with the sweetest guy I ever knew?... "…lover will always love another, your own sister."

"He'll love me when he knows me…I'll make him love me. He already does, he has since he saw me that day on that train to Maine with Amy when he was eleven and he came to me and said his Meemaw told him I must be an angel…And Meemaw never lies…He loves me, Amy just stole him from me." Charlotte glared. "And now he'll see that…He'll just want to protect my sister…Have no worries, Ms. Kim. You'll get what you want from him. So long as he's not endangered."

"Certainly…" Uh-huh…The little bastard who took away my chance to flee that nightmare of a madman's prison state with the sweetest little fellow there ever was… "He'd be far too valuable to compromise." Oh, I am so gonna love watching him jailed on CNN for treason…Smile.

Maybe some nut case with a gun'll even do personal "Justice".

And then, with my record clear and my family out of the work camp…I settle scores with Leonard Hofstadter.

I was so mean to him. But after I eliminate that blonde bimbo leading him on, I'll make him so happy. She beamed to herself.

"Ms. Kim?" Charlotte stared.

"Hmmn? Oh, sorry Doctor. Just contemplating the success of our mission… When do you make your move (moves on Sheldon)?"

"I'll be called by Amy's office in a day or two when she doesn't show, I'm still on her emergency number list with Sheldon. Then of course I'll immediately fly into Pasadena from Paris, seeking word." Charlotte put on winsomely concerned expression. "And you'll contact Sheldon…?"

"Within a few days of your arrival, once we have Dr. Fowler safely on her way to the People's Republic. Well, I'd better…"

Bang on door…Howl…

Van side door opening…A sheepish Dennis Kim in suit looking out…Beside him several NK guards, heavily armed and at their feet, struggling, a bound and gagged Amy Farrah Fowler…Furious and determined as she struggled, pausing only to glare at Charlotte as she caught her cold stare back.

"Kim!" Joyce Kim glared. "What's this? Close that door!" she commanded a guard who closed it as Dennis came out.

"Sorry, Commander…" he sighed. "The bitch kicked me." He frowned. "You ought to let me shoot her. You know I should be in charge here, my uncle would order it."

This is what I get for letting the disgraced nephew of the Leader come along on this one…Joyce frowned at herself inwardly.

Leonard Hofstadter the things I do for you…

"He's allowing you to redeem yourself, as I'm being allowed, Kim. And his orders were, specifically…'Keep that lazy phony genius nephew of mine slapped down'. Now do you want me to take those orders literally, again?" she eyed him.

"One day…I'll be the Leader…" Dennis, narrow-look… "And then I'll want the full measure of revenge on that doofus Cooper, so you better…" he paused, eyeing the two frowning women.

A blessing to the world to deal with this one before he emerges on the global scene…Charlotte thought…He's potentially worse than his uncle. And he's insulted Sheldon…For the last time…Look to Joyce who returned the look.

Yeah, no one will shed many tears if the glorious Leader's bratty nephew/failed spy meets with an "accident" before a secret hero's welcome back home. Lil Kimmer'll probably feed him to his dogs anyway in some pique of dictatorial insane rage.

"I think it's best you get back in and we get on our ways, Dennis." Joyce, firmly. Dennis frowning but reentering the van on passenger side.

"Given his wastrel lifestyle in the past few years, it should be easy to make it look like a drug overdose…" Charlotte noted to Joyce.

"You know, I'm not gonna insult your intelligence by pretending to be offended since even his uncle can't stand that little bug." Joyce nodded. "Besides it's safer for Leonard…And Sheldon." She eyed Charlotte.

The things we do for love…They unspokenly agreed.