A/N: So. I wrote this last night, after spending half the day chatting and the other half of the day sleeping. Anyway, some time while I was chatting, "Dreamer" by Ozzy Osbourne came on and I got a sudden urge to write a songfic to it. I hate writing songfics. So instead I wrote this little vignette/ficlet thing, titled it after the song, and shoved the song down at the bottom just for the hell of it. Anyway. This will most likely be a one-shot…If I do write anything else to it, it'll probably end up as a Harry-resurrection fic. I don't have time for that, though! So ya'll can enjoy my little ditty, and I'll just go…do something. Don't forget to review, please!
Warnings: Implied slash, all-around oddity.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Not that you could tell or anything, right?
Summary: On the eve of the final battle between himself and Voldemort, Harry Potter ponders the view from the Astronomy Tower. Insanity comes in many forms.
Dreamer
The view from the Astronomy Tower is beautiful. When the sun is out, it gives the grounds a yellowish light, making everything glow with life. Nothing seems wrong when you're staring out of the tower, because you are so detached from the worries of the everyday world, so far away from the pettiness of humans. Even now everything seems perfect, if only because we are here, and you are holding me gently as if we were long-time lovers.
It isn't love that makes us stand up here together, however. It is our need for comfort, our need for something to hold our misery at bay. To hide the fact that, amongst all this death, the war still rages around us.
We are all this is left of the once great Order of the Phoenix, all that stands between Voldemort and victory. It's just me and you, an unlikely couple held together by a miniscule feeling of camaraderie. Just you and me, fighting a war that needs so much more than our meager powers.
I often wonder, you know, what the rest of the Order would think of us. It almost brings a smile to my face when I imagine how disgusted Ron would be, how shocked Hermione would look, how Dumbledore's eyes would twinkle as if he had known all along that this was going to happen. But any attempt at a smile fades when Draco comes to mind, because I know just how hurt he would be. I was only meant to love him, after all. Not you, my teacher, a man twenty years older than me. Not you, the greasy, bad-tempered git who hates me because of something I can't control.
You would lose your job, if they knew what we do together at night—the pain and pleasure we inflict on each other in hopes of forgetting. The world would shun us.
Which is why we stand up here together, wrapped in ourselves and our misery. Because nobody in this bloody school understands what we have to live through, who we have to live without. They don't know of our previous clandestine relationships, what we hid from the prying eyes of a corrupt society.
The sun is going down now, and I admire the beauty of its dying rays. Idly, I ask you what you believe happens when someone dies. You don't answer. But that doesn't matter, because it makes no difference. I wasn't asking you because I care, and you know it. I was asking you because it is part of the insanity the war, deaths, and dreams have given to me. It is a different kind of insanity, mine. It's always different with me.
The moon has risen. More beauty for me to behold, more normality in the abnormally tattered canvas of my life. I usually love the nighttime. But right now, I hate it.
Because it only serves as a reminder that the rising of the sun in the morning heralds the final battle—the last chance for our victory. I have no doubts that the both of us will die tomorrow. Voldemort will destroy use and take over the world, spreading his twisted vision to all. An era of terror, because we could not defeat the greatest Dark Lord of all time. I wonder what it would be like to live under his rule.
It feels good not to care.
**Gazing through the window at the world outside
Wondering will mother earth survive
Hoping that mankind will stop abusing her sometime
After all there's only just the two of us
And here we are still fighting for our lives
Watching all of history repeat itself
Time after time
I'm just a dreamer
I dream my life away
I'm just a dreamer
Who dreams of better days
I watch the sun go down like everyone of us
I'm hoping that the dawn will bring a sign
A better place for those Who will come after us ...
This time
I'm just a dreamer
I dream my life away oh yeah
I'm just a dreamer
Who dreams of better days
Your higher power may be God or Jesus Christ
It doesn't really matter much to me
Without each others help there ain't no hope for us
I'm living in a dream of fantasy
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
If only we could all just find serenity
It would be nice if we could live as one
When will all this anger, hate and biggotry ...
Be gone?
I'm just a dreamer
I dream my life away
Today
I'm just a dreamer
Who dreams of better days
Okay
I'm just a dreamer
Who's searching for the way
Today
I'm just a dreamer
Dreaming my life away
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
~"Dreamer"—Ozzy Osbourne