But I know you're chasing something, or has what you wanted got you scared and running? And I know you're missing something, because I felt it there that night, and caught you blushing.
"Volodya," you huffed out exasperatedly, tugging at the blond's scarred and tattooed hand. "All you've been doing lately is drinking in your office alone or going to the same overrated club to fuck variations of the same girls. How is that possibly fun?!"
Vladimir pulled out of your grip and rounded on you, an irritated look crossing his face. "How do you know what women I fuck?"
You snickered. "Tolya told me he can hear their heels and smell the clouds of perfume from down the hall. Not to judge." You paused and grinned wickedly as he swore under his breath. "And I heard all about the false eyelash fiasco that left you mentally scarred for life. What was her name? Star?"
"That is it, out, now," the blond growled, trying to push you out the door as you dug your heels against the concrete with resistance. You waited a second before spinning around, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly and laughing as he staggered back from the impact. You felt your stomach flip involuntarily as you breathed in his cologne and felt his muscles tense instinctively. "You smell good, Volodya. Loving this cologne!" you murmured playfully, your voice muffled against the soft blue fabric.
You didn't see it, but his cheeks started growing red at your words. "The fuck are you doing, crazy?!" he sputtered.
You looked up at him with a determined gaze. "I'm not letting go until you agree to come out with me tonight! You've bailed on me for 2 weekends in a row and I miss partying with you. "I have work" is not an excuse when we work at the same place and I know what work you have."
Y/N," he growled threateningly, trying to pry you off him and failing.
You chuckled. "You watched me win a pull up contest against Sergei, shithead, you think my arms are gonna wimp out that quick?" You squeezed tighter and that was it.
"Fine, I go!"
You released your hold with a triumphant smirk and patted his cheek as he looked at you with an odd expression of annoyance and amusement – and was that a little bit of nervousness you saw? You kept your hand on his cheek, surprised at how warm it was. "God damn, you need to hit the gym, look at you all red from trying to pry my 130 something-pound ass off," you said teasingly with a smirk. Vladimir scowled and your face fell for a moment. "Seriously, Vlad is it some kind of punishment to hang out with me outside of work suddenly?" You said with a harsh laugh.
Vladimir shook his head quickly, looking at you earnestly with his blue eyes. "Nyet. It is not that." You stared at him, waiting for an elaboration. You knew he wasn't one to talk about how he felt, and up until now you had played it off like it wasn't bothering you, but you were a bit hurt that he was bailing on plans to go out with you to drink alone or fuck strippers.
You and Vladimir had grown close since joining the Russians a few months back to help them expand the distribution of Gao's product to wealthier clients across the city and abroad. You and Anatoly got along well right away – he was the one who brought you on and liked you right away, admiring your sweetness coupled with a ferocity that rivaled that of his brother's when it came to speaking your mind. You weren't intimidated by him or Vladimir; you would tell them when they weren't handling business as efficiently as they could or when they were just being assholes.
Unlike his brother, Vladimir didn't take so kindly to any constructive criticism. He hated being told how to do his job, and he hated it even more when you did come up with better business strategies than he did. After the first week, however, his agitation dissipated entirely when you skipped into his office triumphantly with a list of 30 or so filthy rich clients you had scored and he couldn't help it, he was impressed and extremely thrilled– and kind of turned on. Vladimir felt himself smiling, a rare thing for him these days. You smiled back. He offered you a drink and you spent the next few hours getting drunk contentedly with him and Tolya, loving whenever you could get the blond's scarred face to light up with a smile or even laugh.
You liked Vladimir a lot. You weren't stupid; you knew he was dangerous, had major problems with emotional intimacy and had a nasty temper. But you also knew that he always asked how your day was and that his smile gave you butterflies, that you liked the banter you two had, that you loved being around him and you liked how adventurous he was. You noticed how his eyes lit up like a child when he was excited and that he would talk comically faster, that he was actually pretty smart and insightful, that he would punch out any men he caught making obscene comments about your body and that he was fiercely devoted to the rare few he let in – Anatoly was enough proof of that.
He found himself noticing things about you as well. He still had the picture of you and him on his iPhone from that night; you had snatched it from him and rested your chin on his shoulder while you smiled happily, yelling out "Now I have TWO Russian crime lord best friends!" It made you sad that he only really had his brother, you liked making sure that he knew someone else cared about him. Now that he had put his stubborn pride aside, your humor and passion, your sincerely caring and slightly reckless nature were all made clear to him and he found that he liked it. really, really liked it.
At first, he didn't think anything of it, just told himself that he just thought you were hot and smart and an off limits work associate. But the more time you spent together in and out of work sober or drunk – throwing knives at a dartboard while you talked about shipments, running and giggling through Times Square together with a handle of vodka, backing each other up in any bar fights, sitting in his office going over paperwork with takeout, watching your body hungrily as you dragged him off to dance at a crowded party– the more he found himself wanting you. But not just in a physical sense, it was deeper than that. It was an emotional, yearning, encompassing kind of want, could he call it love? He had never felt like this. Whatever it was, it scared the Russian crime lord to death.
And two weeks ago, you had found him in his office in a fury about the masked man, his blue eyes shining as he blinked furiously and screamed at you to get out. But you didn't. You approached him gently, grabbing his a hand and talking to him until he calmed down – Tolya was the only one he thought could do that. He had never seen anyone but Tolya look at him like that – like he deserved to be cared for – and as you pulled him into a hug, he found himself almost saying three words and panicked. So he bailed on plans with you while he tried to figure out how to control the way he felt – but he didn't know if he ever would be able to.
"Vladimir," you said sharply, watching him pull himself out of whatever thought he was having. He exhaled and looked at your pained face, feeling a twinge in his heart as he lied about why he was really avoiding you. "I think I love you and I don't know what to do," he thought to himself bitterly. But what came out of his mouth was, "Just been stressed with shipments delayed because of that fucking masked prick running around. It is not your fault. I am sorry I upset you, that was not my intention."
Your gaze softened and you nodded. "It's ok, Vlad. I just didn't know if I did something to piss you off." He shook his head and chuckled. "You know I let you know when you piss me off." You laughed. "This is true. But hey, now you can enjoy the weekend and come have fun with me!" You gave him an exaggerated grin and did your best spirit fingers, laughing as he smiled and shook his head at your antics. You stood on tiptoe and mussed up his spiky blond hair. You grinned coyly. "Smile more, Volodya. It looks good on you."
Without waiting for a reaction, you pushed your Ray Bans down over your eyes and headed out the door. "Be at my apartment at like 9:30, OK?" You called back as you looked at your phone nonchalantly, somehow keeping your voice even a smile broke across your face, turning to a sigh. You knew how you felt about Vladimir, but you weren't stupid – he wasn't exactly a relationship kind of guy. What was the point of telling him how you felt if it would just make things more complicated? You didn't need anymore heartbreak and you liked what you two had now. So you kept your feelings to yourself and settled for enjoying your friendship and his company – and throwing in sly flirtations and compliments along the way.
As soon as you shut the door, Vladimir turned to the couch and fell on it facedown, screaming into one of the cushions. He sat up suddenly and hit Anatoly's name on his phone and chewed at his lip. "Tolya, come to the office," he fired off in Russian. He hesitated. "I need your help, brother."