Harry sat on the sofa staring in to space. It barely seemed any time at all since he had been here with the, then happy, Thompson family celebrating little Ellie's christening. His mind drifted through the memories of that day.
Panicking as he held a tiny Ellie, medical degree or not he didn't do babies.
Laughing and celebrating with them all. Stuart had been so thankful to him for helping Justine.
The kiss with a drunken Justine … he … that hut her hadn't intended to let it happen , he should have pulled back but a beautiful woman kissing him was hard to resist, especially when all his fight was being used fighting his feelings for the beautiful Dr Nikki Alexander.
It wasn't far off eighteen months since that day and that still hadn't changed, he was still head over heels for his friend and unable to do anything about it.
Dancing with her at that party was one of the best memories he could hope to have, there was something about their friendship, their relationship that allowed them to be free and easy ad flirt what ever the status of any relationship they might be in It never felt wrong but then, Harry mused , maybe it just didn't feel wrong because he was desperate for it.
He remembered saying to Nikki that he wanted it one day in the future, happiness, a stable relationship, a family, a little girl like Ellie to call his own.
He hadn't realised it then, was only realising it, or maybe acknowledging it, now but he wanted it with Nikki he wanted a little girl with her golden curls and wide smile.
Tears fell down his cheeks not only for this broke family torn and destroyed by lies and deceit but for the family he would never have. Nikki would never fall for him he went through women half his age almost as fast as she seemed to go through unsuitable men.
Harry shh its OK come on …. I'll give you a lift home" Harry felt a small hand take his larger one. Nikki's small hand.
"I know it hurts you, we, trusted them, we knew them but its, there is nothing that we could have done to bring justice sooner, not unless Frank or Joel had said something, you know that …." she soothed steering him into the front seat of her car.
"Seatbelt." she said to him gently but firmly as she started the engine.
"I, I know Nik's thank you …. its just that entire family destroyed by lies and cheating .. if Stuarts first wife had been honest … or if Frank had none of this would have happened …. Justine and Gemma wouldn't be dead, Charlie wouldn't have lost both the people he knew as his parents, his stepmother and the girl he was in love with. Ellie wouldn't be stuck growing up in care with absolutely no family, no one to love her because she is part of them..." he didn't even bother to wipe away the tears.
"I know Harry and I'm hurting too that beautiful little girl has lost her family and we both know the pain of that we both know how agonising it is to have your parent there to turn to but she's little , she can be fostered, adopted, find a family who love her and will protect her... its not ideal its far from it but she's alive there has to be … I have to .. in … the only way I can do this job is to see the positive"
"I guess it is really …. it just seeing the pain of that family brought back memories … seeing there pain it was hard …. I memories of me and mum , memories of Leo I'll be fine being tired doesn't help" he sighed
Nikki let the journey continue in silence she wanted to help her friend but knew that there were sometimes just no words. She did, however, know she needed to ensure that he didn't sweep this under the proverbial carpet because that, she knew, would cause endless pain.