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Chapter 1:
Today is the first day of junior year; the first day I will have ever gone to school with my parents no longer in the world… They say that those who die never really leave you, but remain watching over you and will always reside in your heart. Some even say that they stay alive in your memories; as long as you always remember the days you spent with the ones you lost.
Me? I scoff at that bullshit; I don't believe in any of that mumbo-jumbo crap. I merely believe them to be meaningless words spoken to cheer people who are mourning a terrible loss. How do I know that? Why do I say that? Simple. Those are words I myself, have spouted off to those who have lost someone in life.
Yeah, I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite, and one of the things in my 'Hate List' is hypocrites. But what do you expect me to say? What I really believe?
If you're wondering what my personal opinion is in regards to the subject of death, then brace yourselves. I believe that, when someone dies, that's it, they're gone. You will never feel their touch, you will never smell their comforting scent, and you will never hear their sweet voice. When you die, you don't linger in the in-between or wherever the hell the afterlife is. Heaven? Hell? Limbo? Who the hell knows, but I'll be sure to let you know when I do die…
…Yeah, I have a sarcastic streak that some believe to be an unattractive quality of mine…Like I give two bleeding damns.
My name is Anastasia Gilbert, and I have a twin sister called Elena and a younger brother by two years, Jeremy. Us Gilberts are known to be a close-knit family; however, tragedy struck, and now we couldn't be further apart.
Let me tell you the story of how our family got torn apart. And it all could be summarized into one night and one person: The night that started it all and the one who pulled the metaphorical trigger. That person so happens to be Elena Gilbert, none other than my twin who would throw an impressive tantrum if, god forbid, she didn't get her way.
You see, once a week we all sit down for family night, a Gilbert family tradition started by my Dad, Grayson Gilbert. Dad wanted the family to spend more quality time together, and he was so excited and so dedicated about his brilliant idea, and my siblings and I, we loved him so much, that we did it for him.
For years we followed family night like some sort of religion or ritual; that is we did, until about four months ago when selfish, self-absorbed Princess Elena decided to be the first to break tradition. We both got invited to a party in the woods, and me knowing that it clashed with family night, I obviously rejected attending the party, not caring at all if it made me seem uncool or even a 'Daddy's Obedient Girl' to my peers, as I never, for even a nanosecond, gave a shit about what people thought of me. Elena however – Well, Elena was another story.
Elena lives and breathes for people to idolize and love her, and so she instantly agreed, instigating a tantrum at the Gilbert Residence. Not bothering to get full permission, Elena made a dramatic exit, leaving myself, Mom, Dad, Jeremy and my Aunt Jenna, who was visiting for the weekend from college.
In the middle of family night, Elena called the house in tears, crying to Mom about how she and Matt broke up and that she needed a ride home. Aunt Jenna and I stayed to take care of Jeremy while Mom and Dad left to pick up Princess Elena. One hour in, we got a call stating that Mom and Dad died; their car drove over the Wickery Bridge and they drowned. Elena however, miraculously survived.
If you ask me, I would have preferred for Elena to have drowned and for Mom and Dad to survive. I may sound like a heartless bitch for admitting that, but in my defense I had yet to say it out loud – Elena made them leave the safety of the house, and for all intent and purpose, she killed them; their death is on her hands.
You might be wondering: Have I always hated my twin? …Aren't twins supposed to be inseparable? …Shouldn't I be glad that at least my sister survived the devastating accident?
Truth; Elena and I were extremely close, despite our completely different personalities. We weren't just twins, but best friends. I would ignore Elena's flaws and her selfish 'I am Queen of the World' attitude. But after my parents' death, my eyes were wide open and I could see her clearly for who she truly was.
After the funeral, Elena, Jeremy and I were given a leave of absence by the principle, permitting us to skip the final month of the school year, and I haven't spoken a single word to Elena since, unless I really, and when I say 'really', I mean really had to, or unless it was a scathing remark. I spent my time taking care of Jeremy and helping out Aunt Jenna, our newly instated guardian, who selflessly moved in to take care of three messed up teenagers while still attending college.
However, not everything was all nice and dandy in the Gilbert household. Jeremy and I decided on the easy way out by picking up bad habits to aid with our grief. Jeremy buried himself in drugs and sex with Vicki Donovan (thinking no one knew about that – but I did), and I drowned myself in alcohol; my favorite poison of choice, tequila.
The funny thing, Elena was the reason for our parents' death, and all she did since then was bury herself in her stupid diary, writing out her woes and sorrow and why-me? bullshit.
Sighing forlornly, I clambered out of bed and after a quick shower, dressed myself up in a tight-fitting plain black t-shirt and extremely tight skinny jeans, paired with black ballerina flats. Something you should know about me; I love fashion, I love clothes and I love looking fantastic; but I wasn't in the mood to try being me with my parents' death still so raw and fresh.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I smiled slightly, deciding that I didn't look as dead and hollow as the past months, despite the fact that my golden skin from sitting for hours religiously tanning under the sun looked slightly paler due to all the alcohol consumption and burying myself in my depression under the blanket.
One last thing I should inform you before I leave the haven that I call my room; even though Elena and I are twins, other than our personalities, we couldn't look any more different. While Elena was a gorgeous brunette with freakishly straight hair, brown doe eyes, petal-shaped lips and an olive complexion; I on the other hand, have golden blonde hair that radiated brilliantly with the sun that were set in natural, bouncy curls, almond-shaped sapphire eyes that were vividly noticeable no matter the distance, plump rosy lips that were always pouty and an olive complexion that had been transformed into a golden hue since the age of twelve.
Elena and I shared the same petite straight nose and round cheekbones, but I had another feature that physically set us apart; two adorable dimples that made an appearance every time I smiled – and that was a rarity in these past few months.
Making my way downstairs and entering the kitchen, I see my beloved and fun aunt Jenna fumbling around in the kitchen in an attempt to prepare breakfast – god bless her.
"Morning Aunt Jen. You know you don't have to make breakfast, we can fend for ourselves," I said, throwing her a smirk.
"Oh hush you. I can make toast," and she said it with such pride, like it was a huge accomplishment, that I failed to suppress a tiny bubble of laughter, something Jenna took as a personal success.
"It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna," Elena smiled, joining us as she descended the last step. The sound of her voice and being so close to her was like throwing a bucket of freezing water over my head, as my smile and slightly good mood instantly vanished, dying before it could even begin to flourish.
Thankfully, Jeremy's eager voice joined the fray, "Is there coffee?"
"Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared," Jenna groaned. Turning to face us, she rooted through her wallet, "Lunch money?"
"I'm good," Elena and I spoke in unison. Now usually, in the past, when we used twin speech, Elena and I never failed to share conspiratorial smiles, however this time when Elena looked over at me to share our regular smile, hers instantly dropped upon seeing my back stubbornly facing her.
"Anything else? A number two pencil? What am I missing?" Jenna probed as Jeremy readily accepted ten dollars from her.
"Uh, your big presentation today?" was my witty retort.
"I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at… now. Crap!" Jenna swore as she scanned her watch, her entire disposition frazzled.
"Then go," Elena said, just as a car honked from outside. "That's Bonnie! Ana, do you need a ride?"
"I have my own car, why would I need a ride from Bonnie," I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Come on Jer, I'll drop you off." Ignoring Elena and her downtrodden expression, I wished Jenna luck for her presentation, made my way to the garage and hopped into my beloved and faithful black Cayenne Turbo S that was a present from Uncle John for my sixteenth birthday, as I patiently waited for Jeremy.
Parking the car at Mystic Falls High School, Jeremy shot out of the car with a quick wave goodbye, heading over to the drug pit where I knew Vicki Donovan was there, most probably as high as a kite.
I made my way inside, and couldn't help but sneer at the sight of Elena and her best friend Bonnie Bennett checking out the behind of some guy in a leather jacket. Rolling my eyes at their pathetic display, I stopped at my locker and began arranging my books as I hated trudging all my books along with me in my bag, preferring to make multiple pit stops to my lockers instead of straining my back.
Hearing a distinctly familiar squeal, I whipped around and couldn't help but smile brightly at the sight of my best friend in the whole entire world, making her way over to me and engulfing me in a giant bear-crushing hug.
"Ana! I missed you so much! How are you feeling? Oh god, stupid question. Are you good today?" Caroline Forbes babbled.
There are many words that can be used to describe the wonderfully unique girl that Caroline Forbes was; however, one specific word summed up her entire existence: Sunshine! She was the best friend anyone could ask for; she was a bubbly and hyper person wrapped up in the form of a slender blonde with a bright smile. While Elena and Bonnie hit it off immediately since the sandpit, Caroline was the one I related to the most.
Ironically enough, everyone thought that Caroline and I were twins: We both had blonde hair; hers was pure blonde while mine was gold. We both had blue eyes; hers was a shade of cornflower blue while mine was a shade of pure sapphire. And we both loved the sun; tanning happened to be one of our favorite activities, and both of us sported flawless golden complexions as proof. Our only difference was that she had softer features and leaned more toward baby-faced, while I was more elegant with sharp, aristocratic and perfectly-sculpted features.
Elena never failed to show her jealousy when anyone mistook Caroline to be my twin, but honestly, I didn't mind. Never did. Caroline Forbes is my sister, whether we shared the same DNA or not, and every weekend we would rotate sleepovers, either at the Forbes or the Gilbert household.
"I'm fine Care, now that you're here," I sarcastically relayed.
"God, don't get all corny on me, Ana. Oh my gosh, guess what! Guess what?" she squealed, "There is a new guy that moved to Mystic Falls and he is a major hottie!"
"Leather jacket?" I asked, my mind instantly going to the boy Elena and Bonnie were shamelessly ogling at.
"How did you know? Oh my God, did he talk to you?" Caroline bounced in her spot, practically crackling with excitement.
"Hah! Nope, but I did notice Elena and Bonnie commenting on his back," I quipped lightly.
In my peripheral vision, I noticed Elena follow an unaware Jeremy into the boy's bathroom like a mad girl on a mission, and a part of me hesitated, wondering if I should intervene, but as Caroline dragged me over to our first class, I decided it was best if I left Jeremy to fight his own battles against Elena every once in a while without my intrusion.
After a couple of tedious and boring classes, Caroline and I sauntered into the history classroom, taught by none other than douchebag extraordinaire, Mr. Tanner.
My secret; even though I love to disrupt his classes and basically make his life hell within the boundaries of Mystic Falls High, Mr. Tanner is my favorite teacher. I just love his sarcastic comments, and him being an asshole totally made time fly in his class – of course, Care would tell me it was because I was really good at history, but eh, to each their own opinion.
"Aunt Jen, in an effort to make your life easier, I am informing you that I'm meeting up with Caroline at the Grill." I'm not being rude or anything by not asking her permission, but I knew that Jenna would never say no unless there was something really important – Aunt Jenna was cool like that.
At that moment, Princess Elena bounced into the kitchen, "Ana, do you mind dropping me off to the Grill? I'm supposed to meet Bonnie."
"Sure, come on," was all I simply told her. Like I already said before, I barely speak with Elena unless I absolutely had to.
"Okay, have fun you two. Wait, I got this. Don't stay out late, it's a school night," Jenna informed us, trying to act like a parent.
"Well done, Aunt Jenna," Elena laughed.
Opening the front door however, I was met with a tall hunk of gorgeousness. He had hair the color of chocolate that was long, but not long enough to reach his shoulders, more like naturally styled in waves with a scrumptiously silky quality; also, he had a hard jaw and chiseled cheekbones, thin peach-colored lips and hooded leaf-green smoldering eyes that made you want to fan yourself. After a quick scan of his body, I knew that he was pure muscle, like the sculpture of David that Michelangelo created.
I instantly knew that this was the infamous new guy Caroline wouldn't stop yapping about.
When new-boy looked at me, he took a half step back in an almost startled manner and spoke in a deep husky tone that screamed sex. "Hey, sorry I was looking for Elena- hey," his face immediately broke out into a breathtaking smile once Elena popped up behind her causing my eyes to roll heavily in their sockets.
Of course Princess Elena would catch the new guy's attention, why am I even surprised?
"I was going to knock. I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier. I know it was… strange," new guy awkwardly disclosed.
"No worries. I get it, blood makes you squeamish," Elena shrugged, a light laugh escaping her lips.
"Um, something like that. How's your leg?"
Tired of them having, what looked to be, an extremely boring conversation take place over my head, I snapped, "Elena, I'll be waiting in my car. If you take long I'm leaving without you." And with that, I shoved past the new guy and entered my car.
To my surprise, not even two minutes later, Elena and new guy walked over to my car. Elena slid in through the passenger seat and said, "Ana, Stefan is coming with us to the Grill." I love how she just said it in a way that meant I was supposed to obey just because she said so. Elena is so infuriating.
Stefan – apparently that was the new guy's name, seemed to actually be a polite guy and said, "If you don't mind, that is."
I smiled at him from the rearview mirror as I reversed the car out of the garage, "Nah it's cool, at least you were polite enough to ask." And with that, I sent a pointed glare at Elena who merely rolled her eyes and ignored my subtle attack on her – okay, so maybe it wasn't so subtle, but I didn't care.
"I'm Stefan Salvatore," he smiled. Huh, the guy isn't bad, unfortunately I knew that he belonged to Elena now and nothing would ever change that. Once Elena sunk her claws into a poor sod, no one else even remotely had a chance; Care is gonna love that – note my sarcasm.
"Anastasia Gilbert, nice to meet you."
Finally we reached Mystic Grill – yeah, I know Mystic Falls wasn't creative at all with their names, but that's the town I was born into, one had to get used to it after seventeen years. I walked ahead of the two lovebirds and made a beeline towards Caroline and Bonne who sat in our usual booth.
"Awkward," I mumbled, as we watched Elena introduce Stefan to Matt, her ex-boyfriend. Another thing I hate about my twin – I mean, she broke up with Matt right before the accident, feeding him the excuse that she needed space and wanted to be alone, and then BAM! first day of school she meets the new guy and she's already parading him around like a show horse.
Want to be alone, my ass!
As Elena and Stefan made themselves comfortable, I counted to five in my head. 5…4…3…2…1… and there goes Caroline with her interrogation.
"So, you were born in Mystic Falls?"
"Mm-hmm," Stefan nodded. "And moved when I was still young."
"Huh, I don't remember seeing you around," I said, looking slightly confused, and unless my eyes were deceiving me, Stefan's eyes flashed nervously and he looked pretty agitated.
Luckily for him, Bonnie saved his ass with her next question, "Parents?"
"My parents passed away," was the simple reply, and okay I felt bad as I could definitely relate, except for the fact that I am sure his sibling – if he even had any, wasn't the reason for their death.
"I'm sorry," Elena looked completely sympathetic and I wanted to bash her head on the table if it weren't for Caroline grabbing my thigh in an effort to calm me down. "Any siblings?"
"None that I talk to. I live with my uncle."
"So, Stefan, if you're new, then you don't know about the party tomorrow," Caroline adopted her flirtatious tone that rarely failed to reel in the horny guys of Mystic Falls High, and I inwardly groaned, knowing that she was wasting her time and effort on him.
"It's a back to school thing at the falls," Bonnie matter-of-factly added.
Stefan immediately looked at Elena as though he were asking for permission if he could go, "Are you going?"
"Of course she is," Bonnie grinned at Elena, who gave one back in return.
One thing for sure, Caroline and I were definitely not amused.
Another day of school, another history class with Tanner.
And guess what? I am suffering from a major hangover.
You see after I got back from the Grill last night, I took out my favorite Patron bottle from my secret stash and had myself a pity party in my bedroom starring me, myself and I. Therefore, I woke up today with a killer hangover. But one thing I loved about tequila was that it never made me puke, only suffer through vertigo and a headache the morning after.
It was times like these were I wished for there to be a hangover potion like in Harry Potter – yeah, ok, so I am a total girly girl at times but I am not ashamed to admit that I am a huge Harry Potter fan and that Caroline and I actually waited for our Hogwarts letters to arrive on our eleventh birthday; don't laugh.
I folded my arms across the table and sat in class with my head buried in them and my sunglasses on in an attempt to drown out Tanner's voice as he droned on and on about the stupid Battle of stupid Willow Creek.
If I had to hear that damn story one more time I was going to break something. Since the Gilberts were one of the Founding Families of Mystic Falls, our parents had the history of the town drilled into our heads, and out of the three of us, I was the only one that took the information like a fish to water.
"How many casualties resulted in this battle? Ms. Bennett?"
"Um… a lot? I'm not sure. Like a whole lot," Bonnie answered with an uncertain lilt in her tone.
"Cute becomes dumb in an instant Ms. Bennett. Mr. Donovan? Would you like to take this opportunity to overcome your jock stereotype?"
I couldn't help but snort loudly at that. It was comments like those that made Mr. Tanner my favorite teacher.
"It's okay, Mr. Tanner. I'm cool with it," Matt smirked, confidently leaning back on his chair with folded arms and prompting laughter out of the entire class.
"Hmm. Anastasia? Surely you can enlighten us about one of the town's most significantly historical events? Even though you look to be suffering from a hangover."
Everyone 'ooohhhedd' and I could practically feel Elena's disapproving glare burn a hole through my forehead. Lifting my head from the desk and casually taking off my sunglasses, I flashed Tanner a winsome smile, "Ah, come on Mr. Tanner, I'm underage. You know I can't drink for a few more years." Ignoring the cynical snorts and scoffs at my comment, I continued in the same breath, "And there were 346 casualties and 27 local civilians."
"Huh, very good Ms. Gilbert. Except, of course there were no civilian casualties in this battle."
Seriously? Love you Tanner, but you suck as a history teacher.
Just as I was about to argue with him, Stefan, who seemed to have taken up the mantle of a knight in shining armor, corrected him, "Actually, Anastasia is right, sir. Confederate soldiers, they fired on the church, believing it to be housing weapons. They were wrong. It was a night of great loss."
"Ya know Mr. Tanner. As a history teacher you really should brush up on your facts. The founder's archives are stored in civil hall," I quipped with a smirk. The class burst into laughter and Tanner looked like he wanted to haul my ass into detention, but unfortunately for him and fortunately for me, the bell rang, and I grabbed my stuff and glided out of the class with Caroline's arm looped through mine.
As we made our way out, nearly half the class patted me on the shoulder, glad that I had one up on Mr. Tanner – yeah, teenagers are cruel; we just love seeing our elders suffer.
Caroline and I made our way over to Forbes residence to get dressed for the party at the woods tonight. As usual I had my trusted duffle bag that was always filled with a range of clothes and essentials as I practically live at Caroline's and vice versa.
"Care, you know that I love you right?" I asked Caroline as we began riffling through the clothes we were going to wear tonight.
"Yeah, course, what's up Ana?"
"I think you should give up on Stefan. He's head over heels for Elena and if you continue down this path, you're setting yourself out for failure." I know that tonight Caroline will be trying her hardest to get Stefan to like her, and he would only end up blowing her off, making her even more insecure about herself than she already is (that's a secret I'm not even supposed to know about), and end up drowning her sorrows in booze. Fact is, I loved Care too much to see her get hurt.
"I'm not blind Ana, I know that he is totally into Elena…" Caroline slowly confessed in a hush.
"But? I know there's a 'but', Care."
"But, I have to try. If I don't then I'll always think what if," Caroline admitted, a slight plea in her voice, almost like she was asking me for permission to set herself into failure.
"Fine, but promise me that you'll find me first. That way, we can both drown our sorrows in booze," I said, making her laugh and tackle me in a tight hug.
I ended up wearing a black miniskirt and a black tube top, making my outfit look like a dress, and I paired it off with silver sandals… I so wasn't in the mood to trek through the woods in high heels. Caroline wore an outfit identical to mine, except hers was hot red and her feet were clad in gold sandals. Both our hairs were in its natural bouncy curls and we put on neutral makeup with red sparkling lip gloss.
We really did look like twins.
The party was raging when we arrived, and Care and I headed off to start light with some beer.
After a while, Caroline left me to make her way over to Stefan and I prayed to God or whoever was out there listening to a teenage girl's pleas, that Stefan Salvatore would let her down easy.
Instead my eyes found themselves colliding with the form of my douche of an ex, Tyler Lockwood, who was currently lip-locked with Vicki Donovan.
So yeah, you're thinking my twin ended up dating the high school sweetheart and jock Matt Donovan, while I dated his best friend, the wild rich kid and all-out bad boy with a horrible temper, Tyler Lockwood. Thing is, we all grew up together and our parents were Founding Families so we always ended up on play dates and so on and so forth.
However, a month before my parents died, I realized that Tyler was not the one for me, especially when I caught him cheating on me for the hundredth and one time. I always gave him excuses and listened to his empty promises and horribly concocted lies, but the last time it happened, something in me snapped, and I was officially done being Tyler's doormat and instead spent that one month hooking up with random guys in cars and bathrooms, wanting to know everything I had missed out on when my douche boyfriend was cheating on me for the three years we've been dating.
Yeah, so I'm kind of sleazy, bite me! I don't care what anyone thinks. I mean, so Tyler screws around with nearly every single girl in Mystic Falls High and they give him a pat on the back and a 'way to go dude', but when a girl does it she's suddenly a whore? Sexist assholes.
My eyes narrowed when I saw Elena and Stefan talking by the bridge, and my eyes searched for my best friend. It took me ages to find her, and when I did, I found her face buried in vodka.
"Care, I thought we had a deal," I lightly chastised her. Caroline looked at me with her tearful baby blues and wordlessly handed me a cup. I shrugged, even though Vodka and I weren't exactly besties, it was alcohol, and that was enough for me.
"Hey, Elena and Jeremy are arguing in the woods," Caroline, in her slightly drunken stupor, managed to say.
Looking up, I shrugged, "Jeremy has to learn how to fight for himself otherwise Elena would keep on hounding him."
It was five cups of vodka later when there was a disruption to the party.
"Somebody help!" Elena appeared at the mouth of the woods looking completely frazzled with Jeremy in tow, and in his arms he carried the unconscious body of Vicki Donovan. It was times like these where found myself thankful to be blessed with a high tolerance level as I ran over to my distressed siblings.
"Vicki? Vicki, what the hell?!" Matt frantically yelled.
"What happened to her?" Tyler was next to demand as Matt started yelling for someone to call for an ambulance.
"It's her neck. Something bit her. She's losing a lot of blood," Elena cried out.
I bent down to examine her neck, and after squinting my eyes, I was able to make out two punctured marks that looked like bite marks, deducing it must have ruptured the arteries since it was bleeding profusely.
I yelled out for something to put pressure on her neck and gratefully took a jacket from a boy who offered.
Ten painstakingly long minutes later and the ambulance arrived, immediately placing Vicki on a stretcher and carting her out of the woods.
Bonnie was dropping Caroline home which was a good thing since Elena and I took separate cars and I knew that Jeremy wouldn't want to be anywhere near Elena and her incessant nagging at the current moment.
After telling Caroline to take care and get herself sober, I gently grabbed Jeremy's wrist, blatantly ignoring Elena's cries that I had been drinking, and drove him home, leaving Elena to fend for herself.
"Jeremy, you okay?" I asked my little brother quietly.
"Yeah, I'm just going to sleep it off and visit Vicki tomorrow."
"Night." I know that once Jeremy set his mind on something, there is no changing it. Us Gilberts are known to be quite the stubborn bunch.
Deciding to ignore my stash for the night, I changed my clothes and tucked myself into bed, ignoring the nagging feeling that something was terribly amiss in Mystic Falls.
A/N: So … what do you think? I'm trying to change from cannon and I have many plans for future chapters as we get into the story. Let me know what you think, and how you like Anastasia.
R&R.