Title: Shades of Pink & Gold
Author: OpheliacAngel
Characters & Pairing: Dean/Gabriel, Sam, Castiel
Genre: Romance/Family
Rating: Teen
Summary: Gabriel wonders if loving someone who's human is a curse. Adoring someone that can get hurt so easily and then heal spur of the moment, yet he still can't help but feel so very sorry. Maybe even to the point where he won't eat his favorite food anymore. Set Season 4 but it's AU because Dean knows that Loki is Gabriel.
A/N: Here's just a little something written for my beloved OTP Dabriel. I wanted to write it for Valentine's Day but I've been a lot busier lately and I wanted to upload my Bela/Ruby piece more. And wow, this has been on my computer for way too long. So I hope you enjoy it now…
Song Featured: 'Linger' by The Cranberries
As much as Gabriel would love not to admit it, the truth is that Dean doesn't look too good.
He's thrown up about eighty gazillion times, Sam's probably the one who's actually counting for how concerned he looks but the archangel just can't seem to find the effort to. Every increasing number will only make him want to weep more, give him concern when he's already concerned enough just by giving Dean a mere glance. Not that he just gives him a mere glance, no, the second Gabriel starts looking at the human he finds it hard to pull his eyes away. The hazels are feverish and dead tired still they shine in their pale as death face. The lips may be cracked and drawn forward in a miserable pout yet it is still one of his adorable pouts that Gabriel all too often falls victim to.
Dean is beautiful even in sickness, when he is coated in shame like the poison on rotten candy, even when sweat is drenching him and his body shakes fiercely in the stuffy motel room, a fragile thing waiting for permission to explode. He thinks that was what he loved about Dean all along, not just the need to control him but really the notion that Dean can be so easy to control, like everyone is but also not at the same time.
It is love paired with control, that everything he does for Dean is for a reason, for the human's well-being and happiness, just to see a smile start in his eyes and light up his face. Joking around, playing the whole trickster gig that he'll never get sick of because even when Dean gets pissed off and maybe even slightly embarrassed around his little brother, he is the happiest and most lifelike that the archangel has ever seen him. He is genuinely glad to see Gabriel.
And he knows it will always stay that way as long as he is relatively careful, gentle, always with the one purpose in mind no matter what he does or says, that he will always love Dean and that will always be his main goal, even when he's joking around or having a little fun or popping up in the most private moments so Dean can jump and throw something at him.
It's all perfect. It's all so perfect. And yet Gabriel knows that it cannot last forever.
Maybe Dean knows it too and he's just not letting on.
But back to what's really wrong on the moment… Dean spilling his guts onto every inch of carpet and then eventually the toilet, Dean unable to hold himself upright as the fever grows worse, as he's confined to bed rest and slips into delirium so ferociously Gabriel feels like he understands nothing about humans. Dean crying out for him until his head is so weighed down with pain he can't even seem to do that anymore.
Dean holding on, by a thread, maybe because in his sick, hopeless and dying little mind he just wants to say goodbye to Gabriel one last time.
That's one thing he still hates about his love, accepting whatever happens to make its way towards him, hell bent on ravaging his body and tearing his mind away piece by piece, and not only that but thinking he deserves it, all of it.
Sometimes Gabriel just wants to smack him upside the head for his stupidity. As if he'd ever get away with leaving the archangel in the dark and alone. As if he'd ever dare to abandon him.
"There's nothing I can do for him, Sam."
Sam's eyes, nearly a mirror image of his brother's except that Dean's are far more fever bright, float up towards the bent over figure of Castiel as he pulls up the sleeves of his trench coat to further examine his ill charge. The eyes hold rage and disbelief, horror and the onset of breaking down and crying. He shakes his head but ultimately knows that that small movement won't prevent these events from occurring.
Gabriel hates tears, really hates tears, especially when the tears are for Dean, Dean who is sick and lying in bed and possibly dying…
"Cass…"
His voice is agonizingly weak, riddled with pain and Gabriel wants nothing more than to soothe away his sore throat even though he's aware it's much more than that. Unfortunately, humans are quite delicate creatures. Unfortunately, Dean is a human and as a result of that he reacts to pain much more than any angel, especially archangel would.
As a result, Gabriel feels responsibility. Feels bad, feels really really bad as he swallows very very hard.
And the one thing that tears his grace apart into a million pieces is hearing Dean say his name, put his throat through more hell by speaking that damn angel's name. Instead of his.
He should be saying his.
This enrages Gabriel so much that he cannot refuse himself the uncontrollable temptation to grace the three of them with his presence. Even knowing that Sam will be pissed, that Castiel will be offended and maybe overprotective and enraged himself. Even knowing that Dean is so sick he may no longer have the strength at the moment to say his name.
Still, he wants to be there. For him. Let him know that this kind of thing doesn't slip by unnoticed, that's he's watching over him always and he'll fight like hell to make sure it stays that way.
Castiel takes a step forward but the mere angel is of no concern to him, he stopped being a concern when he refused to help Dean. And Sam, the ever watchful and always present brother, standing on the sidelines, watching Gabriel carefully though seeming to trust him a great deal more than Castiel does.
The archangel gives Sam a mere glance before turning towards the bed, watching, waiting for something… anything.
It only takes a moment but then Dean's eyes drift up towards him and Gabriel can tell in the instant that they gain recognition that there is such love held within him, such love held within Dean's soul that's being transferred over to the archangel in the form of happiness. As soon as their eyes latch onto one another's Gabriel walks forward and doesn't stop till he is near the only thing he loves.
To say Dean is the most beautiful sight in the world is a huge understatement.
"Gabe?"
His mouth cracks into a grin as he settles down on the bed, very mindful of Dean's current position in it. He lays his hand on his forehead and begins soothing in one of the only ways he knows how, rubbing small circles with his thumb, sometimes straying into his sweat damp hair. A very human method but with Dean he feels that's what he really needs, something simple and something that screams love and 'I'm here to stay'.
Gabriel, as always, is more than happy to oblige.
"Hey, Deano."
He wants to bring him forward and hold him, though as gentle as he will no doubt be about it he holds back because he doesn't know the extent of the damage done to his lover. Isn't even sure he wants to know because the answer could be unthinkable.
Dean drifts off again seconds later, which finally gives him the permission to examine him further. As soon as he pulls the blanket down a little, he remembers the other two presences in the room, ones that he wishes now would just go away for the time being. He could, make them go away that is, just won't yet because he figures he should get some answers before he puts his own needs first.
"So, what's the story?"
He didn't actually see Dean get hurt, doesn't even know how, just managed to pop in when he heard Dean screaming his name out in discomfort and terror. A noise that caught him completely off guard and sent him into full on panic mode even when he managed to catch up with the human and see what was going on.
"What are you doing here?" Sam asks, suspicious as always though not nearly as rage driven as Gabriel had assumed. Castiel stands near the bed still, eyes occasionally flicking over towards Dean's prone form but pretty much constantly eyeing the archangel before him, far more powerful and a being he hasn't seen in ages. There is distrust in his gaze but not enough for him to take futile action.
Gabriel decides to ignore him entirely unless he speaks, pissed off himself at Castiel's lack of effort to do much for his human, all because of his current duties up in heaven and his strict mantra not to heal Dean unless he is directly ordered to.
Stupid hypocritical angels.
"What? An archangel isn't allowed to miss his favorite humans?"
Sam snorts, tenses when he sees Dean so very close to Gabriel but lets it slide, figures if Gabriel hasn't killed them by now he's most likely not going to. Especially when he seems to be centered on watching over his brother, something kinda foreign but not unbelievably so because the archangel has popped up before, trying and failing to hide his excuse of wanting to be with the both of them. When the only person he truly wants to be with is Dean.
The youngest brother can see it in his eyes though, not just the fact that he looks mainly at Dean but the way he looks at him. In a way that would be kinda cute if it wasn't also freakishly disturbing.
"Where were you when he got sick, huh? At least Cas came when I called him."
The archangel turns towards him, "And who are you to tell me where I need to be? Especially since your little angel buddy here didn't seem to care about him in the first place."
Castiel looks down in shame, Gabriel could care less.
"I'm sure there's many more important things on your plate than Dean…"
"You're wrong", Gabriel snaps, his gaze harsh and penetrating into Sam's. "You couldn't be more wrong."
"Yeah well, it was your damn candy that got him into this mess in the first place."
He can't find anything to say to that because Sam is right, it is his fault and he has no right to get mad at Sam about that or even deny it for that manner. He'll carry it because Dean has to suffer the consequences.
At least he knows he's not dying now though. That he can be healed by his ever impatient grace.
Doesn't mean it makes his lover's pain any less real though, any less deadly or serious. Any less his stupid, selfish fault.
"I didn't…" he starts but the stubborn and very much overprotective Sam Winchester butts in like a furious bull, piercing horns and all.
"Yeah, course you didn't know it was poisoned. Course you didn't think of my brother in any of this. And still I let you stay", he shakes his head in disgust, shrugs his shoulders and then drops them tiredly as he turns away from the other three that share the room with him. "I don't know why but I do. Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for the way Dean looks at you, like you're his whole world or something. I just don't get it, Gabriel. How can you not be here to pick up the pieces, when he's crying out your name and asking me every five goddamn minutes where you are?"
A lone tear slips down his cheek and Gabriel's equally roiling emotions are tempted to copy that action.
"What was I supposed to tell him? That you were off banging some chicks or killing some freaking people?"
Gabriel blinks back tears and turns away towards Dean, he doesn't need to keep listening to this conversation, to weigh himself down with negative emotions in the form of shame and regret and guilt and such bitter apology that it sickens him, just like the sight of him sickens the other fed up Winchester in the room.
"Sam…" Castiel tries and it really pisses the archangel off more than it probably should.
"You should stop pretending you understand human emotions, Castiel. You will never understand Sam, or Dean, only strive to and fail in the futile attempt."
He feels so weak, so drained and on the verge of collapsing into a boneless heap even though he is meant to be strong, an almighty archangel that can't be weighed down by anything, let alone humans. Yet that seems to be a lie, or just doesn't apply to him and only him, because a human is affecting him right now, two actually. The one he loves, who lies in the bed beside him, resting and recovering and painful to look at, and his brother, pacing the room, tears streaming down his cheeks, the stress pouring off him in thick and unquenchable waves.
The archangel wants to tell Sam that he'll take care of everything. But can he? If he wasn't here for Dean earlier, could he truly be counted on ever again? He isn't sure, doesn't want for Sam to make that decision because the only thing that matters is that he is here now, while it still matters as far as Gabriel's concerned. And Sam is still here, conflicted about where Gabriel should be though clearly not afraid enough to attempt to throw him out.
"You should sit down, Sam."
He obeys Castiel, sits tensely in a chair at the other end of the motel room, watches Dean out of the corner of his eye though more clearly watching Gabriel, who still hovers over the eldest, still lets his concern show through because Sam knows his relationship with his brother and he knows he'll be damned if he hides it from Castiel, who he doesn't give a flying fuck about.
"Gabriel." Sam motions for him to join him, "Leave Dean alone for a little while. You know how much he hates to be coddled, and he's going to throw a fit, not to mention give you and me both hell when he wakes up to your looming face.
The archangel joins Sam hesitantly, knowing it's for the best as he settles in a chair across from him at the small table. Castiel remains standing, watching over Dean from afar before Gabriel sighs loudly and pulls a chair out for him as well.
"Come on, feather butt. Standing around's not gonna do you any good, according to Sammy here."
"Don't call me that", Sam snaps, though there's not much fight in it because Gabriel can tell his thoughts are elsewhere, most likely on Dean even though he's not even looking in his direction at this point.
Gabriel sighs, placing his head in his hand as he stares across the room and finds Dean's unconscious form, quiet and still as death, far different than in sleep and Gabriel hates it, starts pouting without even knowing it.
"Chill, Gabe. He's not gonna stop breathing just because you're not there."
He looks up at Sam, finds strength in his words and in his face.
Yeah, they're all pretty fucked up and this whole situation is even beyond that. Then again, maybe they'll actually make it through this and on with their sadly pathetic lives after all. Gabriel figures it wouldn't be a shame to place his vote on the hopefully winning team, the team that will walk away from this relatively unscathed and maybe even still emotionally stable.
He places his bet… now.
XoxoxO
In the end, Gabriel holds off about four hours before finally giving in to his very apparent need to pull Dean into his arms and cradle his overheated body against his own.
Sam steps forward but also doesn't prevent the smile from molding his mouth and venturing slightly into his eyes. Like a good brother, the best brother in the world, he makes sure that the archangel's hold on Dean is not suffocating or life-threatening in any way, though he's already aware that Gabriel would most likely feel beyond tormented if that were happening.
He watches the exchange closely, so close enough that he could reach out and brush his brother's shoulder if he wanted to, provide his own small form of comfort but he won't. This is Gabriel's moment to shine now and there's something about the scene before him that makes him realize he won't split it up for anything. His eyes flick over to his brother's slack features, face retaining a bit of color courtesy of his overheated cheeks, a strong sign that Dean is alive and maybe won't have to go to a hospital like Sam was just about to take him to out of raw necessity.
"Gabe, I don't think…"
"Quiet, Sam. Just let me be with him."
Sam nods, motions to Cas to follow him out of the room after seeing him start to advance onto the bed and its two occupants. He trusts the archangel enough to watch over Dean, trusts himself enough to leave them both in the room alone.
Gabriel sure has a lot to make up for anyway. A day for every mangled and unbearable cry that broke forth from Dean's lips that is.
XoxoxO
Dean awakens slowly with the sound of a soft lullaby, expecting it to be Sam just softly singing Metallica because apparently Sam claims it's the only way to calm him down. Even though his singing pretty much sucks and it tends to be torture for Dean's ears. Then he realizes that the sound isn't a Metallica one at all, it sounds like something far less hardcore and far more girly.
Even weirder than that, it's not coming from Sam at all, but rather Gabriel.
And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Here he was thinking Gabriel wasn't going to come back, which isn't all too farfetched of a thought considering how much his mind and most likely his mouth was screaming out to him. Dean wants to be pissed off about it, yell at Gabriel that he can't just show up whenever it suits him and expect Dean to be perfectly fine with it and melt into him with no hesitation like he's a big, fluffy pillow.
Yeah, Gabriel may be like a big and fluffy pillow, warm and soft, but that still doesn't justify his long and painful absence.
Dean swallows lightly, trying to clear his parched throat and get used to the notion of being awake. He can't remember a thing, nothing after he collapsed in the bathroom, only feeling someone pull him up, probably Sam, and gently deposit him on the bed.
And then Dean's eyes open to Gabriel lying comfortably beside him, looking all too relaxed and all too smug with himself. Dean sits up a little from where he's smashed up against the pillows, notices Gabriel's warm hand on his thigh and his gentle golden eyes on his own.
He's still dripping sweat but it's nowhere near as bad as it was earlier, still craving Gabriel's touch but not so much now that's he's actually beside him and scooting closer by the second, trying to be discrete about it but Dean's annoyed and only wishes he would hurry up already. Dean closes his eyes again momentarily because he's still tired and doesn't care how much the archangel knows it.
"Please tell me you're not singing The Cranberries?"
Gabriel grins, folds Dean back across the pillows slowly and watches his eyes unglue themselves and linger on his now disheveled form, his shirt crumped from where he cradled Dean for what must have been ages and his hair sticking out from his head at odd angles. He's surprised Dean's not laughing, though it's only because he's too tired to. 'Poor Dean', he thinks with guilt, 'he must be exhausted and it's all because of the stupid candy I left for him on the windowsill of the stupid hotel we're still in'.
He smiles at Dean's raised eyebrow and simply responds, "It's a classic."
"No, it isn't. Wherever I May Roam is a classic, not some pansy ass chick song with a stupid title."
"Hey", Gabriel warns, playfully smacking Dean's arm, "I don't complain when I have to put up with your obnoxiously loud music."
"Just cause Sammy listens to it doesn't mean I have to put up with it for you too."
"Fine, Dean", Gabriel lays back more and crosses his arms. "Then I won't sing you anything at all. See how you like that."
"Aww, come on. Don't be like that."
He turns back to Dean and smiles again at the healthy pink color, instead of the fiery red, now lodged in his cheeks and the slightly watery but very much filled with life hazel eyes. There's nothing more beautiful than watching Dean wake up and hone in on him, nothing that could make his life more perfect.
"Don't worry, I'll sing whatever you want me to."
Gabriel strokes his cheek sweetly, though if asked he will definitely deny that small sappy gesture that Dean seems to melt into so happily.
"You'll be fine. Castiel wouldn't do anything for you but I did. Another day at most and you'll be back on your feet again. Hunting those stupid monsters and pretending you don't need me."
Dean gives him one of his famous partly annoyed with a heavy dose of nostalgia looks, "You shouldn't be so hard on him, Cas is a good guy. Not to mention, it was the damn candy that you left me."
"A good guy that would rather obey orders than make sure you're alright", Gabriel speaks. "But that's enough for today", he helps Dean lean further back against the pillows, "it's time for you to catch some shut eye now, Deano."
His human's lush lips pull forward into a pout, "Yeah, just so you can leave again."
"I'm serious, Dean", his eyes hold the human unwaveringly. "Sleep", his voice is softer now, a mere whisper that only he and Dean have the advantage of hearing, "I'll stay. Believe me, I won't leave you. Not with that damn angel ever again."
"Kay."
Gabriel takes his hand in his own, entwining their fingers, and holds it as he slips back into sleep. "I'm sorry about the candy, Dean. I couldn't taste the poison, couldn't…"
Being human is a curse, or rather, being an archangel is a curse because he put the one he loves most in danger without knowing it and now there's no turning back.
He sighs softly, runs his hand through Dean's adorably short, soft hair before settling in closer beside him, taking up the other half of the bed as he watches his human sleep, a beautiful thing that he gets to watch every night if he's lucky, if there are no nightmares that he needs to take away that is. Watching the tense lines of pain dissipate after keeping refuge in his face for so long is relief and the vanishing of such strong concern for Gabriel.
The archangel doesn't know if he can ever justify eating candy again.
XoxoxO
Sam throws the bag of candy out of the window so he doesn't have to look at it anymore, doesn't have to think about what it did to his brother, how sick it made him, tainted by Gabriel's hands and maybe he was the one who did it, maybe Dean said something and like a stupid idiot he decided to take it out on him and…
"Sam."
He's rushed out of his thoughts by the strong voice of Castiel, the other angel that he's also really pissed off at because he straight out said that he couldn't do anything for Dean and what kind of an answer was that? The fact that he wouldn't even try, just stood there like an idiot and all the younger Winchester wanted to do was scream at him that he dragged his brother out of hell, pieced him back together limb by limb, patch of skin by patch of skin and he can't even do this, heal him, try to at least pretend like he cares?
Gabriel was pissed off at Cas too but that didn't make Sam any less enraged at the former, at not being there for Dean and at least when Sam called out for Castiel he came, didn't wait for a long ass period of time and then pretend that everything was alright like the archangel had done. He wants to punch the both of them in the face actually, can't be expected to choose because angels are such dicks and yet they have such strong connections with his brother which only makes him want to get rid of them more.
"He didn't poison Dean. He wouldn't."
"Yeah?" Sam asks, "And what about you? You wanna fess up to it? Cause that would really help to pare down the list of, well let's see, no one I can think of. Yet practically anyone and everyone."
Castiel doesn't speak again, can't face Sam's anger which is more like fury, can't make him unclench his fists or convince him that neither he nor Gabriel would have done such a thing. Then again, it's probably just better to let Sam vent because Cas knows that Sam doesn't think either of them harmed his brother in that way.
Sam sighs loudly, turns away from Castiel a little to glance outside the window and confirm the stupid fucking bag of candy is nowhere in sight. He never did much like that sweet stuff himself, it was always Dean who couldn't resist it and often gave himself a stomach ache from eating so much. Don't even ask him about last Halloween because that was the absolute worst. And of course being around a candy lovin' archangel doesn't help matters, only causes Sam to become ever more aggravated and concerned.
Gabriel looks after Dean well though, this incident placed aside, keeps close tabs on Dean when they're separated. Sam wouldn't play a part in banishing him from his brother's side, especially since the archangel generally makes Dean happy and plays a massive part in holding him together.
"I need you to find all the bags of candy in here and get rid of them. And if you don't do that for me, Cas, then I'm going to get very pissed off very fast."
The angel nods and immediately walks over to Sam's bed, sticking a certain hand under his mattress and coming back out with a bag of chocolates, which he makes vanish within moments the second he shows Sam.
Sam raises his eyebrows, can't even begin to guess who was clever enough to place them there: Dean or Gabriel.
"Anymore around that I should know about?"
Castiel's voice is deep when he speaks, deeper than usual, "There's licorice in the bathroom, behind the toilet."
When Sam goes to retrieve the last bag that he's about to crush in his hands with every ounce of strength he holds within, when he throws it out the bathroom window and heads back to the living room, Castiel is gone and Gabriel is taking his place beside the window, out of Dean's room for what must be the first time in hours.
He wants to say something, wants to reprimand Gabriel and make him promise not to bring candy with him anymore, but Gabriel already has that on his mind and speaks before Sam can even reach the window.
"I had no idea. And I never thought Dean would have such a reaction. I should have checked it", he turns to face Sam, "even if I didn't think this sort of thing could happen."
Sam sighs softly, has to admit that the being poisoned by candy thing is pretty stupid, especially if it's not caused by witches, perhaps the things Dean loathes the most.
"How come Castiel couldn't do anything?"
Gabriel shrugs and lies through his teeth, "His grace wasn't strong enough to locate the candy and retrieve it from his body without maybe causing further damage. It was too much of a risk."
"And it wasn't for you?"
Gabriel shrugs again, "I wasn't about to let Dean die from what only comes second to me after him. Though I'll tell you one thing, Sammy…"
He doesn't even correct him because Gabriel seems so real and human right now, and he doesn't want to ruin that for anything. Wonders if this is maybe what Dean sees in him, what he fell in love with and still loves to this moment.
"I don't think I'll ever eat candy again."
Sam doesn't know what to say to that, isn't sure he wants to say anything at all. By the time Dean wakes up again, he knows they'll both be there, constant presences aching for further reassurance but seeing Dean begin to feel like his old self again will be enough. Plenty.
"You're a good brother, Sam. And you shouldn't so easily forget that. I wish I could have been a better one, or that my brothers could have stopped feuding for long enough to notice me."
They watch the sunrise come up over their hotel, its vibrant shades of pink and gold illuminating the sky in such glory, lighting up their faces and promising better days to come. Sam and Gabriel smile simultaneously, the latter thinking of how beautiful Dean would look with those rays of sunlight illuminating his delicate features.
Maybe he doesn't have to give up candy completely.
FIN