Disclaimer: I don't own them! *sniff*
Summary: A song fic about Jenny's feelings when she left Jethro in Paris.
a/n I love this song and when I was listening to the radio, this popped in my mind and I really thought it was worth writing. So …Enjoy!
It's the hardest thing
Paris, 1999
I sleep all night
right by your side
I love to her your
breathing, breathing…
It was a beautiful summer night which is not exactly common in Paris. In a room with a view of the Eiffel Tower, two people were lying curled around each other in their bed. There was a redheaded woman lying on the man's bare chest, right above his heart. His hands were curled protectively around her tiny body. Their bodies were wrapped up into the messy sheets, covered in sweat and some sweet body juices. The last night was perfect for both of them, actually it was their best night together.
The morning light
opens my eyes
it's nearly time for
leaving, leaving…
As the sun slowly rose from behind the horizon and brought more light in the room, Jenny's head rose from Jethro's chest and looked around. It' time! She thought, as she sneaked form the bed to go to the bathroom to take a shower.
When she was finished she got dressed quietly, trying her best not to wake Jethro, because she knew he was a light sleeper. Then she took her suitcase, which was already packed and hidden into the closet, to avoid detection. She tiptoed to the door before opening it and glancing back at her lover, who was sound asleep. A lonely tear rolled down her cheek. This was probably the last time she is seeing him. This has to be done! It's for the best! she told herself before she left and closed the door.
I know that it seems
like it's easy for me
oh I wish you could feel
what's going on inside…
Once on the street she called a cab and waited, silently hoping that Jethro would stay asleep for a while longer. When the cab was here, she climbed inside and gave directions to the driver in French. She spoke it very well. Settling in the back seat, she immediately drifted in her own thoughts and didn't notice the song quietly playing on the radio.
It's the hardest thing I ever have to do
to walk away from you, when I wanna hold you
it's the hardest thing in every single day
to have to turn away, I want you to know that
this is the hardest thing…
Tears were now freely falling down her cheeks, clouding her vision. She just faced away from her only chance of happiness, but she knew she made the wrong choice a year ago, when she secretly joined Mossad, but now it was too late. Far too late. She chose her job over Jethro, a decision she knew she would regret. She requested full transfer to Mossad three days ago, and now she was headed to Tel Aviv to take over a mission. A very risky one. Now she was almost convinced that she will never see him again.
***
Five years later, Jenny was still working for Mossad. She was content, but far from happy. She had a job she loved and was good at, she made a few good friends, learnt Hebrew and so much more, but she never forgot her first and only true love, the love she left so many years ago in Paris. At nights when she went to bed, she was thinking about him, about the things they did together, about the love they shared. She climbed into her empty bed and turned to look trough the huge glass window that showed the whole city. She looked at the reason she left Jethro. The job at Mossad was great, but yet, it was just a job. Then she lied back in her pillows and closed her eyes, just to have another dream about him.
Another day
its years away
I close my eyes
to see your face…
Still trying to fall asleep she thought about the past five years she spent in Tel Aviv, buried in work, with no personal life, or friends outside Mossad. The training changed her. It made her stronger, cold and emotionless, harder to break, as well as more skillful, but none of this helped her to forget what she gave up from. She knew, deep inside, that she will never be able to forget it.
The more I wait
the longer it takes
it feels like time
is standing still…
Then right before she fell asleep she said a silent prayer, even though she wasn't very religious, for him to be fine no matter where or when and for him to be happy. She really hoped that he will find someone he loved and hopefully start a family, again. Regardless of how much she wanted him happy, she would be sad that she missed her chance to be his everything.
Wherever you go
whatever you do
I want you to know
that you're on my mind…
As soon as she was asleep, she started dreaming about Jethro, regretting her decision even in sleep. By now, after five years of constant dreaming about him, she took it as a casualty. Then in the background she heard her phone ringing, playing the same song that played in the cab that fateful day in Paris. But somehow she just couldn't bring herself to wake up.
It's the hardest thing I ever have to do
to walk away from you, when I wanna hold you
it's the hardest thing in every single day
to have to turn away, I want you to know that
this is the hardest thing…
It's the hardest thing, just to let go of your head
it's the hardest thing, to make you understand that
to love you, feel you, till the time I see you again
it's the hardest thing…
***
As that sound repeated again and again, she opened her eyes and took a minute to take the surroundings. She was lying in a bed, but her head was not on a pillow, but on a man's chest. The best thing was that it wasn't any man's chest, but Jethro's. He was sound asleep underneath her. It was all a dream! she realized. She then turned her head to her ringing phone and answered it. By the time she finished her husband was wide awake with question look on his face.
"Wrong number!" she simply said before returning to his embrace and smiled contently.
It's the hardest thing I ever have to do
to walk away from you, when I wanna hold you
it's the hardest thing in every single day
to have to turn away, I want you to know that
this is the hardest thing…
After enjoying his scent for a while she drifted to sleep, knowing that she was loved. The dream she had opened her eyes and made her realize that she got a second chance and she should do everything she can not to make the same mistake she made now almost a decade ago.
I sleep all night
right by your side
I love to her your
breathing, breathing…
a/n: That's all folks and I really hope you liked it. Reviews are greatly appreciated!
Just in case you want to know, the song is called The hardest thing and the artist, Toshe Proeski (1981-2007) is (actually was) a Macedonian singer, he died in a car accident near Nova Gradiska, Croatia on 16th October 2007 and he was, is and will be the best Macedonian and Balkan singer ever, and in a case you wanna hear the song you can find it on my profile.