In Pursuit of Love
Jadecoyote
Rated: T+
(I thought this up because I have been watching all lot of Futurama lately. Zapp and Kiff are really my favorite characters. I hope you like)
Zapp Brannigan sat in his chair he called his "special throne". The tears ran down his face gliding through his fingertips. He was a defeated captain, an overweight sack of humanity. The once great Dressed in his red and gold uniform, his blond hair was tussled with his gloved fingertips as he let a serie of deep breaths between sobs. Things have been spiraling down for him for some time. Even though he was a sharp dresser he was dis-sheveled and smelled strongly of scotch and cotton candy.
"Oh Kif! What have I done wrong? Isn't there any woman in the whole universe that will love me?"he cried, his shoulders moving as he sobbed, sniffling. Kif let out a long sigh and looked at the man and walked up to him and started to pat him on the back. "There there sir..."he said, looking as if this was the last thing he wanted to do. Zapp raised his sorrowful face up and looked at the green alien. "Maybe Amy knows someone who is looking for a little Zapp-excitment" Zapp said in a voice of high hope and confidence. Kiff looked at his commanding officer, his lipless mouth forming a flat line remembering when he slept with Amy on his Fon-Fon Ru. Seeing that expression Zapp cocked his head to the side and gave a relaxed smile. "Don't worry Zapp, Amy couldn't handle the sexiness. I need a woman who can keep up with the Brannigan-brand"he stated, as if that was supposed to enstill confidence in his Lieutenant. Zapp opened his mouth to say something but closed it, the insulting words at the tip of his brain, but he didn't dare say, though he was sick and tired of the Captain.
"Please Kif. You have been in a relationship before. You know about women. The sexiness that oozes from me doesn't seem to have a lasting appeal. Let me be your student. I will do whatever your say. PLLEEAASSEE" Zapp cried putting his hands togather in a begging motion. "Don't make me humiliate myself any more. You are my greatest and best friend in the whole universe"he cried. The only woman Zapp had slept with is Turanga Leela and he didn't noticed when he was rebuffed by the young cycloptian woman. Zapp stared at Kiff waiting for his answer. This was a whole new additude for Zapp to take. Usually he would bully and absolutely ignore anything Kif had to say. The Lieutenant didn't trust this sincereness. Captain Zapp Brannigan didn't know how to be sincere, kind, and compassionate. It wasn't in his sexist, egotistical, and annoying nature.
Kif looked at Zapp feeling like he might regret this. It might be another trick, another manipulation. Every angle he went over in his oversized head trying to consider these things. Was this to get the attention of Turanga Leela, or something else with his head up his rare end. Letting out a series of deep breaths he looked down at his white gloves, then back up at Zapp. The other side of it was that Kif didn't know anything about meeting women. He loved Amy and only Amy and none before that. He couldn't even bring himself to call and talk to Amy (calling her and making breathing/stuttering noises for ten minutes at a time). Deep inside Kif knew that Zapp would not give up on this if he said no, and it would be equally hellish if he said yes.
"Fine..." Kif said softly.
(Yes I know this is short. I have no idea how this is going to go. The Planet Express crew is going to find this quite unbelieveable)