Disclaimer - I do not own NCIS

A/N A few weeks ago, Sasha1600 issued me a challenge to write an 'M' rated story on my least favorite character of Jimmy Palmer. I've been working on this for that long, yes, and have been given virtual kicks up the backside to have the guts to a) write the darn thing and b) to publish it. It finally came together this week, during a day I had off work, sitting in a Starbucks drinking coffee. Big thanks to Sasha for her patience with me.

Here goes...

Warning. This is rated 'M' for a reason. Don't like spanking/kink don't read.

"I'm at a loss, Jethro; I really do not know what to do."

Gibbs frowned, "And what exactly is the problem, Duck? I need a little more to understand why you are so pissed at him."

Ducky folded his arms, "He's just not on the ball, as you would say, 'his wicket doesn't have all the stumps', and he's distracted. I am persistently finding myself having to remind him to keep focused on the job."

Gibbs grinned, "Did you try smacking him upside the head?"

Ducky frowned, "Once or twice, but all he did was smile."

"I'll give you an example, Jethro. Last week, when we had that unfortunate young marine from that drug case, you remember, the one who was killed with that Ka-bar?"

Gibbs nodded.

"Well, I distinctly recall, as we were doing our initial examination of the body, saying to Mr Palmer that whoever had something that big would have real difficulty getting it into their intended victim's body, unless they were particularly skilled, and that it must have penetrated quite deep."

Gibbs stared at Ducky, confused, "A Ka-bar has a pretty big blade, Duck, what was the problem?"

"That's the problem, my dear fellow. I really don't understand why Jimmy started to snigger uncontrollably, and then muttered something about 'oh, I didn't realize you were talking about the knife'. I found it most confusing."

With narrowed eyes, Gibbs continued to question, "You said he is always acting distant? As though his mind is elsewhere?"

"Exactly, Jethro, his mind seems to be…."

"…in his pants!" Gibbs interrupted, suddenly realizing exactly what Palmer's problem was.

Ducky widened his eyes, "Oh! Oh my!"

There was an awkward silence, "That is perhaps why he started choking uncontrollably when I asked him if there was anything 'up' between himself and Agent Lee."

Gibbs sighed, "Do you want me to have a word with him Duck?"

"Well, really, Jethro, I have spoken to him on numerous occasions and, despite my interventions, there has been no marked difference in his behavior. In fact, I would say that things are only getting worse. Perhaps Mr Palmer needs a little one of your short sharp shocks to get his mind from the gutter to his work. I daresay he would benefit from your 'unique' approach to getting NCIS employees to concentrate on the task in hand."

Ducky folded his arms, "I'm a little reluctant to adopt your approach myself, you see Mr Palmer is such a sensitive young man, that I'm quite sure that it would make our working relationship a tad awkward. But, Jethro, if you wouldn't mind stepping in..."

A grin appeared, "It won't be the first time I've had that 'chat', Duck. Seen plenty of newbie Marines and had to remind them that they should have their minds on their target, their hands on their rifles and not on their….."

"Ah! Yes, Jethro, I think I understand and I would appreciate anything you could do get Mr Palmer back on topic."

"No problem, Duck," Gibbs replied as he spun around and strode out of autopsy.

Chapter 2 coming very soon I promise...please bear with me.