Merlin really was the most incompetent manservant ever.
A guard had just barged into the council meeting to report a disturbance in Arthur's chambers. The man wasn't sure what the disturbance actually was as one of Camelot's finest knights and the Court Physician were both outside the door refusing to let anyone in. The guard, concerned at the banging, crashing, yelling and smashing coming from within, had hastened to the council chambers to inform Arthur.
Who now had to abandon the meeting to go and find out what his ridiculous excuse for a servant had done this time.
As Arthur neared his chambers he heard something that sounded uncannily similar to a mirror shattering.
"Gaius! Lancelot! What on earth is going on?"
"Uh..."
"Ahhh..."
"Well..."
"Umm..."
Choosing to ignore the thuds and bangs in the background, Arthur narrowed his eyes as two of the people he trusted the most shuffled guiltily and exchanged nervous glances.
"I'm waiting."
Lancelot and Gaius looked at each other one more time and then, after a conspiratorial nod, Gaius opened his mouth...and was interrupted by a shout from inside Arthur's chambers.
"GO BACK TO HELL, DEMON! THERE IS NO PLACE FOR YOU HERE!"
Arthur raised one eyebrow and fixed Gaius with a penetrating stare.
"You were saying?"
"You see, sire –"
Gaius was interrupted once again by the loudest noise yet – which sounded unnervingly like a thunderclap – and what seemed to be a flash of golden light from behind the door.
A moment later the door was flung open and Merlin appeared, clothes askew, hair dishevelled and sporting a nasty cut and a large grin on his soot-covered face. Behind him, Arthur could see the shambles that had once been his room.
"Gaius, I –"
Merlin stopped abruptly as he caught sight of Arthur, one eyebrow still raised and arms folded across his chest.
"Care to explain, Merlin?"
Merlin threw a panicked look at Gaius.
"Uh...there was a rat. Again."
"A rat?"
Merlin nodded enthusiastically, getting into his stride.
"Yes, sire. A really big one. But, uh, I managed to, ah, get rid of it."
Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly.
"You know what, Merlin? I don't even care. Just get my chambers straightened out before the end of the council meeting that you just interrupted."
The prince spun on his heel and strode off.
Merlin blew out a breath and turned back to his friends. Lancelot threw a sympathetic arm around his shoulders.
"Oh, and Merlin?"
Merlin winced and turned to face Arthur, who had paused further down the corridor.
"Sire?"
"If there is any meat that I cannot identify in my dinner tonight, you will be in the stocks for a week. Is that clear?"
And before Merlin could reply, Arthur had disappeared around the corner. He turned back to Lancelot and Gaius.
"So...that went well."