My latest random one-shot. Enjoy. :)

Love's A Risk

I was okay with being alone.

Being in completely meaningless, feelingless relationships was just fine for me.

But now, something's changed.

Whenever I'm with you, I forget all my worries and laugh along.

I feel this strange kind of warmth. Some kind of relaxation.

Weird as it may seem, it feels like a sort of tranquillity.

I feel the kind of happiness I thought I'd long forgotten. I thought I'd never feel that way again.

Guess I was wrong.

Whenever I'm sad, I think of you. I think of your bright smile that could alone light up a room, and it automatically makes me feel better.

Whenever I feel as if the world is turning on me and I'm all alone, I remember you. How you're always so positive about absolutely anything and everything. And things don't look so bad afterwards.

Please, I tell myself, take some control.

I've gone off falling in love again.

I need to get a hold on myself.

Stop in my tracks.

Just quit while I'm ahead.

Better not take a chance.

Love is a risk, and I don't want to take it.

But why? Why is this happening to me?

I don't know. That's the worst thing: I don't know.

Someone, just find a way for me to hold on to my heart…

Some way to stop it going and risking itself falling in love again.

Anything.

And often I'll drive out of my way to pass by your house before going to my own home.

Maybe I'm just hoping that one day you'll be standing outside, watching and waiting for me.

What the heck is the problem with me?

I don't know. That's just the worst thing about it all: I don't know.

And I know I should get a hold of myself. I've fallen in love for real before, and lost the game enough times to know it's not worth it.

How do you think I became the way I am?

I've been through too much, because of my old self. I couldn't take that anymore. That's why I created this new personality. This new image for myself. 'CDC'. And it's done its job pretty well; I haven't loved anyone since.

I know that if I don't go there, I won't get hurt.

But even knowing that isn't enough to hold me back this time. You reminded me that if I don't get hurt, I'm probably never going to feel anything else ever again. That might be part of the reason why. Maybe I didn't really want to feel anything. Maybe my cold hearted shell was protecting the inside - the real me - from getting hurt.

And even though there's nothing between us, I still somehow can't stop thinking about you.

I try hard to forget about you, but whatever I do just fails.

It's impossible.

I can't understand what the matter is.

Why can't I?

It's obvious, isn't it?

My heart's trying to take control again, and it's succeeding this time. It's putting itself at a known risk.

I've always known for sure that nothing good can come from that. But this time, it's different.

This time, I'm not sure.

I was listening to music again! The main inspiration for this was the song 'Phir Mohabbat', from the Bollywood movie 'Murder 2'. I was then listening to 'How We Do This' whilst writing, and this is what came out of it! Yeah, I find inspiration in the strangest ways and forms :P

Peace and reviews! ;)

-Sarah :D