Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Chuck. Not that you thought I did, but still.
A/N: Okay, this is a little outside my normal comfort zone, so bear with me. This story isn't for everyone, to be sure (certainly no Charah here). Hopefully it will be a fun/funny read for all who brave it, however. I look forward to any feedback I may get. You guys are awesome. Peace.
"Casey, I need your help."
"In a hurry, so make it fast, Walker."
"Can we go somewhere more…secure?" The sheer number of people inside the Buy More did not make this topic easier to broach.
"Unless it's mission related, then no," Casey answered. His partner's tone gave him all ideas that whatever it was had nothing to do with a mission, and Casey had no desire to discuss 'lady feelings' with the blonde.
Sarah groaned, before saying what she had to say in a very hushed voice. "Casey, I need you to do something about Chuck."
"What about him? The moron not installing his hardware properly to your motherboard?" Casey laughed under his breath at what he felt was a very solid quip. He expected Walker to fire back with some pissed off defense of her nerdy Romeo. That's why he was surprised when he heard her say…
"Exactly!"
"Huh?" Casey grunted. "Well, I don't know what you want me to do about that."
"Well," she began shyly, "you could," and she whispered something only Casey could hear causing him to jump back with shock.
"Dammit, Walker. I told you a long time ago, not interested," he said, pointing to himself.
"Well, you need to do something. Chuck isn't giving me anything, and I feel like I'm about to explode here!"
"And why exactly is the nerd holding out on you? Power play?"
"No, Casey! Have you not been paying attention, at all? He's gay and totally into you!"
Casey was taken aback by this revelation. All this time, he couldn't believe he could have missed something that big. He knew he had to phrase his next question carefully. Sarah was not in the mood to be helpful. "On a different topic Walker…do you think that if I went and spoke with the asset-"
"Oh, Christ on a cracker! You too?!" she shouted. "Okay, let's make a list, shall we? That makes: you, Chuck, Jeffster, Morgan…are there no straight men left in Burbank? So you're telling me that if I want to get some cock, my options are now Big Mike and Captain fucking Awesome!"
"Umm…about Devon-"
"Oh dear lord! This isn't fair! When can Sarah ever get laid?" she asked with despair.
No sooner had she uttered her question than she felt a firm pat on her ass. "Meet me in the home theatre room in five, Blondie," said the owner of the hand.
Sarah quirked an eyebrow at the retreating form of her apparent new love interest. She hesitated only a moment before running full speed back to the curtained room.
"Where's Sarah going?" Chuck asked as he walked up.
"Oh, your beard's going to fuck Morgan's beard," answered Casey.
Chuck released a sigh. "About damn time. I'm glad Anna finally made a move. I was beginning to think those kids would never get together."
"Yeah, I know. So, you and Morgan have anything planned later? Because I was thinking-"
"We'd love to John," Chuck said, cutting off his NSA handler. The tall nerd ran a hand over Casey's muscular chest as he walked away, excited about what was to come later, and happy that everyone finally had someone to love.