Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory
His eyesight dimmed until at last all he could see were the fathomless green ones staring back at him. As he gave one last shuddering breath, all light finally dimmed entirely and he was left in darkness. Some time later he woke, the chill of the room and the venom coursing through his veins was a fleeting memory. As he opened his eyes he spied the familiar face in front of him smiling cheekily.
"Hello Severus," he said, offering a hand to hoist the man to his feet.
"What in blazes do you think you're doing, using my given name, Potter?" he questioned acidly, yet not really feeling any anger. It seemed the words issued from his mouth more out of habit. As he gazed longer at the young man in front of him, he started. Those were not green eyes in this Potter's face, they were brown.
"Am I?" he began. Of course I am, nitwit, he thought.
"Yes, you are," said James. "And I wanted to thank you, for all you've done--especially for my son. They won, you know. It's over, and it's all thanks to you. You're a real hero, mate. I imagine you'll get that Order of Merlin now." He smiled again, this time sincerely, humbly.
"Oh blast it, what good does that do me now?" said Severus.
"No more than mine does me," stated James. "But listen, Severus, I also wanted to tell you thanks for the years we had in school."
"What?" he said flabbergasted. "Are you--"
"I'm not mad, and I'm not joking, Sev. I mean it. All those years we fought, every crack you made about my arrogance, my attitude, everything you pointed out is perfectly clear now. You can see it all here, and it changes your entire perspective. There were times I was a right foul git, mate, and most of them it was towards you. For that I'm sorry. I never knew you, or who you were, what you were worth. I see that now. And I'm sorry if it hurt, any of it."
Severus, clearly at a loss, could only stare. It was the phrase "here" that he caught, clung on to. Yet even as he thought to voice the question, he cast a look around and gasped aloud.
"Bloody hell!" he said gaping.
"Not even close," laughed James.
This, surely, was paradise. He was standing in a meadow that greatly resembled his aunt Doris' land in the Lake District. His mother had taken him only a few times in childhood, but he had committed it to memory as the place he would live when he grew up, in a big manor house overlooking the water, full of peace and quiet, with nothing but birdsong for company. As Severus looked out across the expanse of land, he nearly wept. Bushes of heather and gorse swayed in a light breeze as swallows swept overhead, twittering and floating on the current. It was as if the sound was clearer than any he had heard, the colors amplified and vibrant. It was a wrenching, glorious sight and he longed to stretch out and sleep for hours under the gleaming warm sun above. He inhaled the spring air and caught the fragrances of the flowers, bursting in full bloom.
Turning back to comment on the change of scenery, he was shocked again to see that James was gone. In his place was the one person who could make him wonder at the marvelous ending he had made.
"Lily!" he cried as he strode to her, disbelieving. He clasped her by both arms as if wanting to assure himself that she was real. Laughing warmly, she cupped her hands on either side of his face before drawing him into a crushing hug.
"I missed you," she said, sighing. "My greatest friend."
Of all the things he would have said when alive, the first thing from his mouth was, "I tried so hard Lily, to keep him alive."
"I know you did." She took his hand and led him gently over the field toward a large stone house some distance away. "For all your guff, you took care of my baby. I thank you for that. For that, and your years of friendship. And all you taught me."
"James said quite the same. This seems the day for it."
"It is part of your arriving here. Everyone who knew you in life gets to clear the air. You get to witness all your deeds and actions once you're ready, but first those who have been here and had their perspectives changed, are allowed to welcome you into the fold. James wanted to be the first, to let you know what it's like and everything you have done for so many. Here, nothing is the same as it was. Nobody can bear grudges because our eyes are opened. Bitterness cannot win because peace reigns. Look at this place, Severus. Such beauty that nothing can taint it. Nothing shameful and wrong can abide here. So you fully know what you're worth, achieving such bliss."
They had arrived at the lake's edge, standing in solemn silence. Severus took a deep breath, feeling for the first time in his life that he was truly relaxed. Thoughtfully he pushed up his sleeve to reveal the whole, unblemished flesh of his left arm. Smiling broadly for the first time, he looked up to show Lily and was not entirely surprised to find her gone.
Instead, standing on a footbridge across the lake was Sirius Black, looking very much the same as he did twenty years ago. Severus walked to him, watching him intently as he skipped stones across the water disturbing the swans swimming nearby.
"So, Severus, welcome home," said Sirius turning to face him. "Come on across."
They walked through the shade of the covered bridge, coming out near a willow tree on the other side, and stood facing a large white stone manor. The windows were open, blue shutters thrown wide, letting the light and air stream in. Inside a woman was singing. Thinking this was Sirius' place, he wondered briefly who the woman might be, before Sirius himself cut into his thoughts.
"I'm glad you made it, I truly am. I had no idea all you'd gone through. You're amazing, mate."
"And I assume you're sorry too, for all the errors of youth?"
"Yes I am, though James won the coin toss to come get you," he answered amiably.
"Does it matter now?"
"It is I who should ask you the question, Severus. You were the one who hurt from it."
Considering, Severus cast his mind about for a reason to care and found none. Strangely, he found it didn't matter one jot. "No, I suppose it doesn't. Lily was right. Blast it! Any number of things I'd always wanted to say to you don't even matter any more."
Sirius grinned broadly at this. "At least that acerbic wit of yours is still intact. I don't know what we'd do if you'd left it behind too."
They had reached the house at last, striding languidly up to the back door across a great stone patio under an arbor of yellow roses.
"It's a beautiful place, this," said Severus, clasping a hand around one of the posts.
Sirius stood beside him, hands in his pockets. "It is, isn't it?"
"A copy of one of the Black family homes?"
"Oh it's not mine. Not at all. Mine more greatly resembles one of the beach shacks I kipped in on Bora Bora when I was in hiding." Sirius' eyes twinkled nearly as merrily as Dumbledore's at that. "Perhaps you should step in, and see who's inside. I leave you for now, but Severus... you'll never be rid of me here."
Surprising himself, Severus smiled back as the man he had hated so in life turned and walked away. Strangely he found he didn't mind the thought at all. It was as though a great venomous poison that had coursed through his veins for years had suddenly been extracted and his body, life, and soul had become untainted by it. As Severus stepped through the passage into a great room he glanced around. It seemed more of a partial library and laboratory than anything else. Trailing a hand over the desk, he crossed to the other side of the room and entered the living room, still intent on seeing who else was here to meet him. A faint humming from another room beyond had him stepping across the large carpet covering the stone flooring, past deep plush chairs and a settee in front of a fireplace where a familiar black Labrador was laying by the fire. As he came through, she lifted her head and launched at him, tail wagging excitedly as she bumped his hand with her head for a rub.
"Millie! How are you girl?" Once again Severus felt tears smarting his eyes as he greeted the dog he had fed on the sly in his childhood. He had met her near the old mill and named her thus, yet had never really been able to bring her home because of his father, but boy and dog had bonded instantly. This dog he loved as he never had many people in his life, and here she was again after she had disappeared so many years ago. Millie left off with the snuffles and wet doggy kisses and pranced merrily into a kitchen that seemed to be emitting a quite aromatic smell of baking. Since it also appeared to be the source of the singing, Severus stepped through to find a familiar form with her back to him, sliding a pie and a loaf of bread out of the oven.
"Mum!"
The woman started and spun around, joy transforming her homely features to a near comeliness as she ran to embrace her son. Eileen Prince wept where Severus had blinked his tears back, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tight. Feeling much like a little boy again, Severus buried his face in her hair and inhaled the familiar scent of lavender and lemon verbena.
"Oh my boy, my Severus! You're here at last. I am so glad you're come home."
"Home?"
"Yes, of course. This is your place now, and I so wanted to be here to fix it up for you just so. And it's ready. The bread's baked and there's my mince pies you loved so. And I so wanted to make this house special for you, dear. You had so little of a home growing up, what with your father and I bickering and fighting, always at odds. I'm sorry I didn't protect you better, love, or get you away."
"And I you, Mum," he said, still not wanting to let go. "You made it bearable." At that, she broke the hug and dabbed her eyes with an apron he remembered from his very early years, a blue gingham with an embroidered daisy on the pocket.
"Ah, well, so you're here now and no worries of the past anymore. What say you have a slice of bread while it's still warm? There's plenty other's who'd like to see you yet I daresay." She found a plate in one of the cabinets and busied herself with cutting the fresh loaf she had left cooling on the stove.
"I suppose I'll be seeing Dads next, shall I?"
The knife stilled only a moment, and Eileen did not turn back. Her shoulders stiffened a bit, but when she turned she was still smiling as she offered her boy the first heel of bread. "He didn't make it here, Severus. He never redeemed himself, so as I suspect, he'll be doing it all over again and trying to do better. Not everyone makes it of course, and he had so many chances."
As Severus savored the first bite, he merely lifted a shoulder. Even now, he thought, he could not find the barest wisp of resentment for the man who had taught him of everything he never wanted to be in life. Truly, he felt a pang of regret that Tobias had squandered all his chances to find himself in such a place. But I am here, Severus thought, and that is truly amazing. I made it.
"Good, eh?" said Eileen, pleased. "I suppose I should get on, but I will be back love, don't worry."
"You don't--" he stopped short. Surely, "live" wasn't the word.
"I don't live here no," she smiled again. "You can say it, you know. For here we are more alive than ever we were before. But get on, you, you've got others waiting and I won't be selfish. I'll see you again." And she waved him off, even as she untied her apron strings to leave.
Turning again in the direction she gestured, Severus crossed the living room once more and exited the front door. Stepping off the front stoop he spied a familiar figure, drifting lazily back and forth in a long wooden swing near the water's edge.
"So it's you, is it? I wondered when I'd see you." Severus strode over as Dumbledore patted the empty space beside him.
"I had business to attend to with Harry," he said waving a hand at Severus' concerned expression. "Fine! He's just fine. Merely met with me as the final horcrux was destroyed, and then he went back. The boy still has business to attend to, what with building a life of his own now."
"Come on over," he said smiling. "This is corking good fun! I haven't been on a swing in years."
Severus sat down, immediately feeling contentment slide over him at the gentle rocking motion.
"I could have strangled you there toward the end, you know that," Severus said, playing idly with the chains holding them up.
"Quite so, my boy, but it would not have been nearly as fast that way. I do owe you my own apologies as well."
"This seems the day for it."
"So it is with anyone's first day. But I did use you abysmally, Severus, and I do apologize for it. Twisting the knife got to be quite a habit over the years with you. I feel certain now I could have found another way, but there you are."
"It hardly matters now."
"No, it is as they say 'water under the bridge' is it not? But these things have to be said. They cannot be left to hang in the air or fester. And I loved you, you know. You and Harry as well, like two sons worlds apart in demeanor but very close in their place in my heart."
Dumbledore reached a hand to Severus' shoulder and squeezed in a gesture of pure affection.
"You've adjusted well to being here, I must say. Seeing all the familiar faces of those you thought you'd lost and the ones you surely hoped you had. There are more to come yet, I warn you."
"By the time I hit that dirty floor, I was tired of fighting tooth and nail, for and about everything, with all that anger sucking the life out of me as surely as Nagini had done. Here I feel nothing but peace. I'm glad to have left it all behind."
"It is refreshingly easy in some cases, yes. Peppermint humbug?" he asked, fishing a treat out of his pocket.
"Oh hang your sweets, Albus." The corners of Severus' mouth twitched. Some things just did not change, he thought.
"Suit yourself."
"Albus..."
"Yes, my boy?"
"What in the world shall I do now?"
"Fish?" said Dumbledore, chuckling merrily as he peeled the wrapper off. And for the first time in what felt like ages, Severus laughed too.