If you read Like A Phoenix (my other story), you'll know that, try as I might to make things angsty, fluff and romance seems to be the only things these fingers can produce. Lucky for you, I suppose. ;)
Enjoy.
Nova Memorias; New Memories
Chapter One.
The first thing Amanda is aware of in this odd setting is the nervous energy. Not her nerves; but the people's around her.
She knows that she's in a hospital, that much is clear. She just doesn't know exactly why. Or how. Or when the hell she even got here.
Her head throbs like she had been hit by a bus, and the thought that maybe she did get hit by a bus flits through her aching brain. She lets her blurry vision—has she always had blurry vision?—focus on the man and woman talking near the entrance of her private room.
She wishes she has enough energy to focus on what exactly they're saying.
She must have made a noise in her effort to eavesdrop because seconds later, the woman is making her way over to the bed, palms up. "Amanda," she breathes, and panic begins to set in.
This woman knows her. Why doesn't she remember?
There's a look in the older woman's deep brown eyes that tells Amanda that they are more than mere acquaintances. She's obviously not a doctor, not with that badge on her hip, but the way she had spoken her name—with such relief and concern and care tells Amanda that something is very wrong in this moment.
"What-" Her own voice startled her. The scratchy, raspy noise that left her throat surely isn't what she'd expected.
"No, don't try and talk yet.. Fin could you get her some water?"
The man nods and makes his way over to the little sink in the corner of the room. The brown eyed woman sits in the chair next to the younger woman's bed and leans forward, elbows on her knees.
"You've been in a medically induced coma for about a week and a half, they pulled you out about an hour ago but your doctor said it would take a while for you to completely wake up." Brown Eyes says softly, and somehow, even though this woman is a complete stranger, Amanda feels an overwhelming surge of trust. Who is she?
The older woman continues as Fin brings over a cup of water with a cute pink bendy straw, a smirk on his lips. Maybe thinking the woman they both know would roll her eyes or grimace at the girly color. She wishes she knew.
"Thanks." She manages, taking the cup and leaning forward a bit to drink the cool liquid. The feeling of the water trickling down her dry throat reminds her of just how long she'd been without it. She coughs and Brown Eyes takes the cup from her.
"Amanda," She begins, leaning forward and placing a cautious hand on the younger woman's knee. "Are you.. Do you have any recollection of what happened?"
Amanda shakes her head and glances at Fin. He gives her a melancholy look but lets the brunette talk. She seems to be the authoritative figure in this equation.
"I-I can't remember much.." Amanda forces out. It feels like someone is taking a hammer to her brain as she tries to remember even a small detail of anything before this moment. "Must've been some hit to the head," she tries, dry lips cracking as she forces a smile.
What scares her the most is that this feels like her very first memory.
What the fuck is that all about?
The older woman tilts her head and there's a pained look on her face. "Several hits, Amanda. You were pushed down a flight of concrete stairs. You had a brain bleed and you've been in a medically induced coma while the swelling went down."
"Well shit." Is all she manages. Who the hell pushed her down stairs?
The brunette cracks a smile at that and she sighs with what Amanda assumes is relief.
Amanda swallows thickly and looks over at Fin, who smiles at her warmly. She looks back at Brown Eyes, "I don't want you to freak out," she starts, eyes searching deep chocolate pools, "I just.. I can't seem to remember who you are.."
Fin sighs from the corner, and she can tell that her words have disappointed them.
"Fin, go find her doctor please." The older woman commands softly, and Amanda can tell that she is trying desperately to hide her shock. She turns back to the younger woman and smiles tightly. "They told us that we shouldn't be surprised if you had some memory loss, but they never told us the extent of it. What do you remember?"
Amanda thinks for a moment; not too hard, she learned her lesson.
"I was born in Atlanta, my name is Amanda Rollins…" She pauses, and the severity of everything sets in.
She doesn't remember a damn thing.
"That's all?"
"...I'm sorry."
A tall man brushes into the room, an obligatory smile plastered on his tired face. "Lieutenant," he greets the older woman. "And look at you! Glad to see you're awake. I'm Dr. Bates."
She greets him silently as he goes through the mandatory steps of a checkup first, checking her heart, testing her eyes, pain tolerance questions. When he's done with that, he checks his clipboard for a moment, writing her progress down.
"Okay," he smiles, handing the clipboard to a nurse and crossing his arms. "So you're doing fine from what I can see so far… Your colleague Fin here tells me that you're having trouble with your memory. I'm going to ask a few questions, it's okay if you get them wrong, but I'd like to see how much you remember off the top of your head, okay?"
Amanda nods, glancing at the Lieutenant. She gives a reassuring smile and squeezes the younger woman's knee.
"What's your name?" Dr. Bates begins.
"Amanda Rollins."
"How old are you?"
"Thirty...four?"
"Good…where are you from?"
"Atlanta, Georgia."
He smiles, "What do you do for a living?"
"Um…" She looks at Fin's and the older woman's badges and shrugs. "I'm assuming police officer… Judging from my colleagues' badges."
"You're a detective with Manhattan SVU." The older woman informs, letting the information sink in.
"Do you remember their names?" The doctor asks, patient as he waits for an answer.
She swallows thickly and shrugs, "That's Fin. I know 'cuz she said his name. And I don't know hers." She looks over at the older woman, "Sorry.."
Brown Eyes nods in understanding, a sad smile on her pretty lips as she looks at the doctor. He gestures to the Lieutenant, "This is your Lieutenant, Olivia Benson, and he," he points to Fin, "is your work partner I believe. Fin Tutuola."
She waves awkwardly at Fin, feeling tears form in the back of her eyes. This is a lot more frustrating than she thought it would be.
"Amanda?" Olivia's concern is bubbling over and the blonde shakes her head, reaching both hands up to press her palms against her temples. She wants to remember these people, her life, what meal she had last, but nothing comes to her.
"My head hurts." She whispers, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. "Why can't I remember-"
"Hey.. It's okay.." Olivia soothes, voice calm. "Maybe just try to get some rest, you did really well."
She wants to bark at the older woman for speaking to her like a child, but she can't seem to conjure the energy for it; and maybe right now, she is a child who needs looking after. The thought seems to impossibly exhaust her more, so she lets her head plop softly onto the overly fluffy pillow, blurry eyes staring at the wall across from her bed.
"Given your situation, you have done well. Your reaction to everything has been surprisingly positive." The doctor tells her enthusiastically, pulling a needleless syringe out of his pocket.
She manages a weak smirk, "Give it a day. I'm sure there'll be a panic attack when I have the energy for it." She mutters dryly, watching him push the clear liquid into her IV.
He and Fin chuckle, Olivia hides her own little smirk.
"Looking forward to it," Dr. Bates winks, and Amanda likes him. She doesn't have any other doctors in her memory to compare him to but surely he's one of the better ones. "This will ease some of the pain but it'll make you drowsy. I suggest taking it easy, try not to put that brain of yours through too much thinking. Let me or a nurse know if you need anything." He tells her, a charismatic smile on his stubbled face.
It's quiet as he leaves the room. She lets her eyes slip closed, already feeling the effects of the pain medication taking it's sweet toll on her battered body.
"Just rest now, Amanda." Olivia tells her, voice so soft and dripping with honey. "We'll be here when you wake up."
One would think that after almost two weeks of being in an induced coma, then waking up with absolutely zero memory of 90% of your life, sleep would be the last thing on a very long list of needs. But instead, she welcomes the tempting bliss of slumber with open arms and an empty head.