Beginning Of The End
By: Tiggerblu
Chapter 1
God, what had he just done? He had taken the only good, pure and most important thing in his life and threw it away like it was nothing. He felt sick and disgusted with himself. Setting on the side of the bed he tried to make sense of it, how badly he just screwed up, and oh how none of it was worth it. He hurt more than he ever had in his life, and he knew it is only going to get worse, he had just destroyed everything.
"Are you okay"… "No"….. "Is it because I don't look at all like my profile picture"
One decision made in haste, do to his own insecurities, and life as he knew it was over. There was no coming back from this, no magic do over button, no way Kurt would ever forgive him. He hurriedly put his shirt back on "I'm sorry I have to go" was all he could say as he ran out the door, trying to get to his car before he broke down and completely fell apart.
Before he knew it he was pulling into his driveway, not even remembering starting his car, much less the drive home.
At times like this he just wanted to talk to his best friend, the one person that always knew how to calm his crazy, to make everything ok, but the one person he so desperately wanted, no needed to talk to was the one person he couldn't.
It had all started so slowly, the unanswered text messages, phone calls, Skype dates that he so looked forward to being rescheduled, and then rescheduled again. It was the only way right now he had available to stay connected to what felt like was his other half, and it was beginning to feel like Kurt was letting go, that maybe the long distance relationship wasn't worth the trouble he once thought it would be. Maybe dating a high school senior was just more trouble than it was worth. On their last phone call, he hadn't meant to sound so desperate and needy, but he just felt like he was losing. That feeling, only intensified, when Kurt hung up, without even saying I love you. That had never happened before, since the very first time I love you was spoken between them, a phone call, or date had never ended without those words being said, even if they were in the middle of an argument which was rare, those words were ALWAYS spoken.
He had made it as far as his bed before breaking down. He started shaking uncontrollably before the sobs broke free. He cried it felt like for hours, before curling up in the fetal position and finally falling into deep, troubled sleep.
Upon waking it was dark, and for a few wonderful seconds everything was right in his world, but then he remembered and started crying again. What was he going to do? Sitting up he heard the ding sound coming from his phone letting him know he had a text, and only then realizing that this one was the forth one he received, all from Kurt. The first one saying, "Hey meeting broke early, do you wanna Skype"? then "Hey did glee run over? Lol" then "hey, miss you, love you, and would really love to talk to you" and then the last one "hey silly did you go home and pass out again? Wish I could be there to snuggle with you. These next 2 weeks are going to drag until you can get here, love you, and miss you. Call me when you wake up…" and then it hit him like a ton of bricks; Kurt hadn't given up on them, he had.
For once glad that his parents were absentee parents, he went on line and purchased the next available flight available to New York. Quickly he packed an overnight bag; googled directions to Kurt's apartment, after taking a quick shower and putting on the first outfit his hand touched he called a taxi and barely made it to the airport in time for his flight. He didn't know yet what he was going to say or do, but knowing that if this was it, if this was the end, he HAD to see him, hold him, kiss him one last time, he needed this to breath. That thought had him breaking down again.