Okay so this is my very first attempt at writing any kind of fan fic. So please be forgiving. I normally don't think of country songs when I think of Booth and Brennan but this one just seemed to fit. It's set to "I Want You to Live" by George Canyon, the song kind of wrote the fic for me but I hope you like it! Hifi
Disclaimer – Don't own Bones or any of it's characters. Also can't take credit for the amazing song written by George Canyon
Dedication – To all my girls at the IHBFC in the Boneyard. You guys are the ones that inspire me and give me the confidence to write this kind of stuff – Thank you!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was an ordinary day, nothing special or significant about that day. The sun shone warmly in through the windows, curtains swaying slightly in the breeze.
It was a typical morning in the Booth-Brennan kitchen. Booth whistling as he tied his tie, Brennan trying desperately to get Parker and Madison ready for school in time, while attempting to get ready for work herself.
And just like he did every morning, Booth wrapped his arms around his children before they ran out the door to the bus. He then placed a brief kiss on the lips of his beautiful wife before walking out the door himself.
Brennan relished the rare moment of stillness in the house as she continued with the rest of her morning routine. The shrill ring of the telephone interrupted her thoughts……
When she got the news the phone hit the floor
She fell to her knees and cried his name
The phone slid from her hands and crashed to the floor. Brennan felt like her chest had caved in, crushing her heart. She couldn't breathe. Her legs collapsed from underneath her and she fell to the floor. Kneeling on the cold kitchen floor- her worst fear came true, her worst nightmare became reality, her worst day started as this ordinary day.
He had just kissed her lips and both of the kids
Their lives will never be the same
At the end of her hardest day
The only words she could say were
The sobs came in waves, each more powerful than the last. "Killed in the line of duty today" – those words coursed through her head again and again. Those words had no meaning to her; in that moment all she wanted was for time to reverse, wanted him here, wanted him at home, wanted him kissing her again. She cried out his name through her tears.
I want you to live, I want you to love
I wanna go back to the way it was
To hear you say my name again
I wanna see your smile again
I want you to live
Everything seemed surreal. The detailed news reports, the impressive state funeral, and the procession of mourners murmuring their condolences. The numbness Brennan felt was endless and consuming. She was a marionette running through the motions; no thought or feeling. But the day that Madison softly asked "Will I get to see Daddy again in heaven?" her stoic façade broke, as did her heart for a second time.
She hadn't slept in their room, their bed, since that day. She swallowed hard and blinked back tears as her gaze swept the room. Brennan turned to the closet, her long, delicate fingers trembling as she brushed past his dress shirts, like she could still feel his strong shoulders beneath them.
She picks up the crumpled shirt from the floor and buries her face into the collar, letting the tears fall without restraint.
It takes all of her strength to go through his things
It feels like she's holdin him again
The letters he wrote, the books that he'd read
And some of the shirts still have his scent
The picture in Florida
She holds to her heart and cries out loud
She wraps the shirt around her, hoping to find comfort in the sleeves of the shirt, as she had done so many times before in his arms. As Brennan starts to sort through the memories that he kept - war medals, pictures, books; she doesn't notice the simple, white envelope flutter to the floor. Brennan finds what she is looking for. She clutches their wedding picture to her chest like it's her last lifeline to him and the sob that has been clawing at her throat rushes out as his name.
I want you to live, I want you to love
I wanna go back to the way it was
To hear you say my name again
I wanna see your smile again.
It's the middle of the night and Brennan lies awake staring at the ceiling and shivering in the dark. Sleep will not come to her and night after night she thinks about him, loves him, misses him. Booth believed in an afterlife, in heaven and Brennan finds herself wishing she could believe the same.
Lying awake in the middle of the night
Trying not to let the kids hear her cry
She prays for answers or some little sign
She closes her eyes
And swears she
Hears him say
She sighs and yawns slightly as she gets up to find another blanket. She's been so cold since that day. Brennan opens the closet and her breath catches in her throat as she stares at the envelope on the floor. Her name is printed on the front but she's never seen it before. But there in Booth's unmistakable handwriting, is her name. Written in black ink with love and with purpose.
Brennan's whole body shakes as she opens the letter. Her hand quickly moves to her mouth as she tries to soften the cries that escape her lips. Through tear filled eyes she reads what he wrote:
Temperance,
Today was a rough day. We lost a lot of FBI agents today and I could see a fear surface in your eyes that I know I will never be able to ease. But I promise you with everything I have in me that I will do whatever it takes to make it home to you every night.
You know that I am a man of my word, but I realized today that one day I may not get a choice. And if that happens I need to know that you'll be okay. I want you to live, I want you to love, I want you to go on and not give up. I believe in heaven and I want you to try and believe and know that I'm alright. And most importantly – I want you to fall in love again, I want to see you smile again – I want you to live.
I love you without end Temperance and I promise that I'll always be here beside you.
All my love,
Seeley
She pauses for a moment reflecting on his message to her. Those words, written by his hands and from his heart fill her soul with a peace she thought she would never find again. Without hesitation, Brennan turns her tear stained face heavenward and smiles. He had faith in God, but he had faith in her too. She will live for him.
I want you to live, I want you to love
I want you to go on and not give up
I want you to live, I want you to try
I want you to know that I'm alright
I want you to fall in love again
I wanna see smile again and again
I want you to live
I know it's really sad but if you need to just pretend it was all a very bad dream!