Cogs
FanFic100 Prompt 003: Ends.
notes: Because D needs fic too.
spoilers: Rocketman, Blast from the Past (Takes place after Rocketman)
I.
He knew the end was near. It was a terrible, sinking feeling when he finally realized that his time was running out. He had told Donna on more than one occasion that he was going to stay at the FBI. Even if he got sick of the work, he was going to stay. He had promised himself a long time ago that he would leave not when he was tired of doing the job, but when he wasn't needed anymore.
II.
He wears the supervisor hat, and for awhile he was happy with that. But as a supervisor you can only do so much. He's supposed to supervise. Not be the reckless agent, the young gun, the hero. Once upon a time he had been the star FBI agent, and now he was just Dimitrius, the veteran. He felt like that his unit was more than capable on its own and that they really did not need him. They were experienced enough, smart enough..
III.
They were a tight circle. Units either got a long or they didn't. There wasn't an in between. He knew he was part of the group, but sometimes it seemed like he wasn't. He was forgotten. Or he was only included because he was part of the unit, and he was their supervisor. He knew they didn't do it on purpose but still, it hurt. He had been lucky that he had always been with good units that worked well together. They were all cogs, and once he had been the shiny, bright one. But now he had aged and turned slower. If his cog was taken out, the machine would still move. Maybe not as well, but it would continue to work.
IV.
To be honest, the work had bored him years ago. It was always the same. The variables were different with each case, but it always came down to the same things. Some were more frustrating than others, but the excitement had worn off a few years after he had joined the bureau. He had started off with White Collar Crime which he had found mindnumbingly boring and repetitive. They had switched him over to the BAU, and while he was a good judge of character, it just didn't suit him. Those cases were emotionally taxing, and when Donna first became pregnant is when he decided to switch again. This work was a little more varied, and every agent he had worked with were good. But he had done this for years.
He had jaded.
Dimitrius, the cynic.
V.
He typed up his resignation letter one day. Printed it out, signed it and had consequently stared at it for a few hours. His hands shook. He hadn't discussed this was anyone. It was going to be a shock, but it was time. Taking a deep breath, he started towards Garrett's office when he nearly collided into Jack and Myles. They were both panting, shirts rumpled, and they had obviously had too many cups of coffee and not enough sleep.
"D. We've been looking for you! We need your help! This guy --"
VI.
After that incident, he had torn up the letter. Before doing so he made sure he had saved it. He wasn't ready to give this up quite yet. Even if the work was boring, even if he was the rusty cog, those moments when he could be insightful, when he was needed and could put in the missing piece..
He turned down promotion after promotion. This was all that he knew.
Dimitrius the cynic? Yes.
Dimitrius the FBI agent? Always.
He laughed to himself. They were gonna have to drag him out of here kicking and screaming. (Or maybe just an amazing severance package.)
Dimitrius the empty suit? Never.
x
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