You should have known this was coming, people! After watching 'Rumours' how could I not write a Fabrevans oneshot? And possibly a smutty one at that… I mean, the moment I heard of Sam's backstory, all I could think about (apart from crying for my baby, of course) was writing a fic about Sam and Quinn babysitting those little angels. How adorable were they please? Ah! The episode fed all of my Fabrevans needs. They've got to be endgame. But yeah, I see a lot of people relating the song 'Fix You' by Coldplay to the situation and I couldn't agree me so here it is! Anyway, I don't know how good this will be but I'm trying. Please read and enjoy.
The familiar sound of Sunday morning hymns radiated off of the local church, ringing loudly in Sam's ears. He took a deep breath as he approached the old and corroded building. His younger brother and sister trailed behind him, arguing over a topic that Sam could no longer remember. It was irritating to see them fight in public but he remained cool, tugging them gently by the wrists towards the building.
Because this was his life, really. He felt like a single parent. He spent all of his days concentrating on his family's needs rather than his own. He didn't blame his parents of course. He never would. They were out there, trying so desperately to find work and stability. It just wasn't happening for them right now. And of course he couldn't blame his siblings; they were far to young and naive to understand these kinds of worries.
And so, he did the automatic thing - he blamed himself. He held himself responsible for all that had happened. Every time something went wrong, he would mentally chastise himself. A part of him knew that he was wrong to do it to himself but it was a natural occurrence. He didn't want his family to suffer and that meant more than school, his grades, his guitar, almost anything in the world.
Apart from one thing, of course. Sam still had a broken heart. He thought it would heal over time but instead it had just become increasingly painful and difficult to deal with. He remembered his words very precisely, the ones he yelled out loud in the choir room last week. You stole MY girl. He flinched at the phrase every time he repeated it to himself because it was a sign of weakness. And Sam couldn't afford to be weak. At least not now anyway, under all these circumstances.
So like every feeling, he pushed it aside and put his family's needs on top of his own. But still, the look she shot him after Finn had stormed out was engraved in his memory. It was almost as if he could still feel her standing ahead of him, glaring wildly with those hazel eyes. It was captivating. She was captivating.
And like God was answering his prayers (they were in his presence, of course), there she was. He wasn't surprised; it had become natural for him to see her every Sunday morning. But she was still beautiful in her Sunday best. A white dress clung to her body gently, floating down and reaching just above her knees. She wore her golden blonde locks in mild waves with a white headband to match. She looked like an angel herself. He smiled at the sight of her, oblivious to the fact that people were disapprovingly watching his siblings brawl.
But there was something more comforting than just her presence alone. It was the fact that she knew of his problems. Aside from Kurt, she was the only one. He couldn't tell another. And she'd stood strong beside her. Finn had accused her of cheating and she never even considered telling him the truth. After all they'd been through, he'd somehow still always trusted her. He'd forgive his first love any day.
Also, another thing played his mind - he liked to believe that she understood him. Maybe not to a level where she had experienced a similar situation but she could see what he was going through and she could feel it too. He could see it in her sad smile, her eyes. It was like she was reading his soul.
Eventually, he managed to calm his siblings as he lead them down the aisle and towards the seat. Quinn smiled upon his arrival and he shot one straight back at her. It was a reflexive action. He sat down beside her, his two siblings on his left.
"Hey." she whispered softly, "how are you?" There she went again - being her considerate, compassionate and loving self. She always asked about him and often his family. She still cared. Sam wanted to believe that she still cared.
He nodded slowly, looking out ahead. He didn't want to stare at her for too long because her radiant beauty was so distracting. He was afraid he may something to scare her. "It's difficult… especially with everything in school and stuff."
Quinn looked down at her thumbs and nodded. "Yeah, I know." she admitted with a sigh, suddenly looking up at the strangely shaped ceiling of the church. "I'm really sorry about Finn, Sam. I wish there was something that I could do to-… stop him. He's been so inconsiderate and I-"
"Hey, hey." Sam protested gently, a small laugh escaping his lips. It was the first time in what seemed like a very long time. "It's not your fault, Quinn. Don't get hung up over it."
She scoffed slightly and shook her head. "It's hard not to when my boyfriend's being such a jerk." it wasn't so apparent but there was a spiteful tone to her voice. She meant to say it in a way that expressed how she disapproved of the situation. Instead, she just sounded like she disapproved of Finn altogether. There was a short period silence before she spoke again. "I won't tell them, you know." she whispered, a promising tone to her voice. "Not as long as you don't want me to."
Sam smiled gently. He had no other words except to whisper a small 'thank you'. A couple of months ago, any thought of them reconciling again would have been a far fetch of a fantasy. Now, they were just so comfortable around each other it was almost absurd to suggest that it would have been any other way.
When the service commenced, they watched in silence and respect whilst listening to the priest's wise words. They prayed quietly and went up to receive communion. The only time they spoke to each other was when they shook each other's hands and murmured 'peace be with you'. When the service came to an end, they both stood, turning to each other expectantly.
"Well…" Quinn sighed with a slight sadness to her voice, "I guess I'll see you Monday."
She was just about to retreat out of the pew when Sam spun her around by her wrist to face him again. "Wait." he yelped desperately. She looked at him expectantly. "Can you… baby sit with me tonight?" he lowered the tone of his voice, hoping that Stevie and Stacy wouldn't hear, "My parents are-"
She chuckled quietly and nodded. "Yes." she cut him off before he could finish, "You don't have to explain why, Sam. I'll be there at…?"
"Is about half five good for you?" he inquired as a slight smile tugged on his lips.
She nodded and flashed him a toothy grin. He thought it was adorable. "Yes, that's fine by me. I'll see you then."
Sam bid her his goodbye before sighing blissfully. "Right!" he turned to face the two younger children. It was the first time he had noticed, but they had been fighting again. However, when he spun around to face them, they had immediately halted their actions. Each blonde infant held an angelic smile with their hands behind their back. The innocence on their faces was unmistakeable. "Let's get us home, then."
It was hard to prepare to meet a girl when you had so very little to work with. His space was restricted, his few clothes uncooperative. Even his aftershave was running out now and it was unlikely he was going to be able to afford a new bottle.
Still, he was alone in the box-sized motel room so at least he had more space than he usually would. He didn't like lying to Quinn, but he needed her to be there. It was the most selfish thing he'd probably ever do. He didn't want to do to Finn what Finn had done to him because it hurt so bad. Still, he wanted her to know so that she could avoid him. She didn't want to pull her into this mess. She had been a respectable person since their break-up and Sam didn't want to ruin that for her.
The doorbell rung and his insides turned. His breathing increased as he headed for the door, his heart beating at a rapid pace. Be cool, Sam, he instructed himself, you've done this a million times before. Still, it felt like it was their first date all over again. It was almost as if he had an average teenage life for a moment, if you ignored the state of the apartment he was living in.
He opened the door to find Quinn smiling brightly, wrapped up in a fashionable scarf over her jacket and a skirt. She looked beautiful in the dim lighting of the motel, as cheap and sleazy as it was.
"Hi." he smiled at her presence and opened the door wide to allow her in. She stepped inside, cautious not to stand on any of his belongings. A wide grin was spread over her face but she soon noticed that the room lacked children, causing her grin to soften until her lips formed a frown. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she turned around to Sam who was locking the door behind her. They couldn't trust a motel like this.
"Where are the kids?" she asked, looking around as if they were hiding. It became apparent they weren't here after a while so she gave up completely.
"At a teacher-parent conference with my mom and dad. They won't be back for hours." he replied swiftly as if there was nothing odd about this circumstance.
There was a pause while Quinn processed his words. "Then why did you ask me to come and baby-sit with you tonight?" she questioned.
Sam watching her with a solemn expression, his eyes meeting hers. "Because I needed an excuse to get you here, Quinn."
"What do you mean?"
He inhaled deeply and then let it out again, his chest rising and falling as he prepared himself for the conversation they were about to have. "Because," he began, closing the distance between them, "I didn't want to be alone tonight."
Several breaths passed between them as he devoured her with his eyes. They were practically touching by the time he stopped walking, causing her breath to catch in her throat. Was he really doing this now? Was this real?
"God, you're beautiful, Quinn…" he breathed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're everything - you care about me, you treat me well, you advise and help me. Why were we so foolish?" he mused, not really asking her the question but more to himself. Why had they not been more cautious about their love? It was special. They should have considered it more. He should have been enough for her. He wanted to be enough for her. It just broke his heart that he couldn't have been.
"Sam…" she whispered, a slight flush brushing across her ivory skin. She averted her gaze almost immediately. "Do you think this is appropriate?"
He chuckled gently, his eyes crinkling up under his smile. "No." he admitted with an almost happy sigh, "I just needed to get it out there."
Quinn let out a ragged breath as she allowed herself to look into his eyes again. God, those eyes. They were a piercing green colour, the type that looked into her soul and drove her insane. She needed to look away but she couldn't. She just couldn't.
So instead of gaping like a fool, she pressed herself up on her toes and planted a gentle kiss against his soft lips. The simply touch of her hand to his elbow set his senses alight and by the time their lips made contact, he was already up in flames. Still, he managed to respond somewhat affectionately by cupping her face and pulling her closer. They plunged deeper in the kiss and wrapped their arms around one another like they couldn't get enough. They were just so consumed in each other it was like nothing else mattered. For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, Sam felt like his life had a purpose other than to provide for his family.
Eventually, Sam pulled away. They were both lost of breath with wild eyes but he realised the wrongness of the situation. Like every other time, he blamed himself. "I am so sorry." he apologised immediately, running a hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have done that. You have a boyfriend and I-… I'm so sorry."
Quinn looked sad but she was composed. She stopped his blabbering by the simply touch of her fingers to his bicep. "It's okay, Sam." she comforted him, "I kissed you first."
"No, no it's not!" he argued, not angry at her but at himself. "Because if I do this then I'm just doing what he did to me. And, God, it hurt so bad, Quinn. It hurt so bad." he could already feel his eyes brimming with tears and his gut wrenching agonisingly. This was not how it was supposed to have happened. They should have still been together or he should have moved on. Yet, here he was, falling at her feet again. Craving her. Needing her.
A pregnant silence fell between them, causing Quinn to rethink her actions. She knew Sam was being foolish by blaming himself but he certainly wouldn't be so worked up about it if she hadn't done it. Why couldn't she just let him be? Why did she always have to be the cheater? Suddenly, Prom Queen felt like nothing anymore.
"It hurts." he whispered as he pressed his fore finger and thumb into his eyes, trying to halt the tears. The sound was bare audible but Quinn's ears perked up at his voice. She watched him attentively. "It hurts. It still hurts." he repeated more loudly this time.
Quinn felt her heart shatter as she watched him break down. Still, she found it in herself to say something. She needed to speak up. "Finn and I…" she began slowly, "are pretty much over. He doesn't trust me. He doesn't even want to be with me. I can see it in his eyes. He still looks at Rachel. He still puts her feelings before mine when he knows how much it hurts me."
Sam looked up, his eyebrows furrowing. He felt angry at the thought of Finn denying this girl the love and affection she deserved. He could have snapped his neck.
"It's not like you and me…" Quinn mused, her own eyes now glazing with tears underneath the dim lighting, "you were romantic and caring. You cared about me, Sam."
Sam swallowed hardly before approaching her and taking her hands. "I still care about you, Quinn. I always have."
Quinn let out a breath she was unaware she'd been holding. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders just to know that Sam cared about her. Because she cared about him and she would do anything to protect him. This shouldn't have been him.
What did this all mean, though? Was he suggesting they rekindle there flame or simply admitting feelings he was not allowed to have? It was all so confusing up until the point where he kissed her again, fusing their lips in a more passionate way than the time before. It was consuming and overwhelming and the kiss she'd been craving for so long. Everything was so righteous, right down to the way her body fitted into the gaps of his own.
Eventually, she found herself subconsciously buttoning down his shirt. It was one that he'd borrowed from Kurt so it was slightly more elaborate than his usual fashion sense but she decided she liked it better on the floor. Judging by Sam's hasty reaction to also remove the shirt, he felt the same.
At first he was timid but he opened up to the possibility that she may want just more than kissing now. He gradually began to try and remove her scarf but she got their faster than him, taking her jacket off too. Every moment that their lips had to part was unbearable. They needed to be closer.
For a brief few seconds, they both pulled away and watched each other intently. Their chests were quickly falling and rising and they acknowledged the scattered clothing. Did they really want to do this?
Hell, yes they did! Quinn acted upon her feelings almost immediately, slamming Sam into the wall behind him. She pressed her lips to his again before he could even feel the impact. Their space was constricted but they made the best of it. The force of Quinn's push had accidentally pushed Sam into the stereo, his fingers fumbling as he pushed the play button. Cold play's 'Fix You' began to sound from the small music system but they were happy to ignore any distractions. Nothing could take their mind off what was about to commence.
Quinn moved her hands up and down Sam's chiselled abs, her kisses falling from his lips down to his neck, shoulders and eventually his nipples. She sucked and bit seductively on them, her tongue massaging them. Sam groaned in total ecstasy.
High up above or way down below. When you're too in love to let it go. But you never try then you'll never know just what you're worth.
As she did so, he swiftly removed the rest of their clothing. Soon they were both left in nothing but their underwear and Sam had had enough of this. He forcefully shoved her towards the bed and pounced on top of her. She instantly wrapped her legs around his torso and dragged him down to her. They commenced with the kissing again. Sam could have sworn he was still crying as he kissed her in all of her sensitive spots.
Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace.
As Quinn's hand eventually slid into Sam's boxers and began to touch him softly, she thought of all the wrong she'd done to him. She hated herself for that. But at the same time, she could still push past all of their history and share this moment with him. What did this mean? Was it God's sign, telling her that she should be with him? She didn't think of Finn once through the entire thing.
Tears stream down your face and I promise you I will learn from my mistakes.
Soon enough, they removed each other's underwear. Quinn gasped as they rocked back and forth gently, her legs secure around his waist. It all felt so surreal for her to be doing this. It was like every other time had never even happened - there was just this. It was like she was being deflowered all over again.
Except she didn't feel fat or worthless and she wasn't drunk - she just felt loved. Loved by the person she wanted to be loved by, for once. She wasn't stuck in a circle of being with someone who she wasn't fully committed to. She only wanted to be with Sam and she showed it through her actions that night. She would have never slept with him if she didn't.
And it worked vice versa too. All these feelings that had been piling up in Sam for the past few weeks, the ones that he couldn't express and had him spiralling out of control, were finally being release and it felt good. God, it felt so good to him.
Neither of them were in any mood to give up but they figured if they deprived their lungs of oxygen any longer then they'd both probably collapse. He watched the rising and falling of her chest as they lay on the covers, the way she stared at the ceiling. She was thinking of everything that had just happened and she looked beautiful. Sam could barely speak. His throat was dry and he simply couldn't put into words what he felt. It was like he had fallen into a deep haze, blinded by the love he felt right then.
About 15 minutes passed of total and utter silence. They just looked at each other from time to time, sharing knowing and loving glances. None of anything else accept what had went on meant anything anymore. It was just this and only them. Nothing more.
"Come home with me." Quinn finally spoke. She sat up and rested against the wall, holding his hand comfortingly as she soothingly stroked it with her thumb. It was more of a statement than a question but she still looked at him as if she was waiting for an answer.
Sam wasn't quire sure what she meant so he quirked and eyebrow. "What do you mean?" he murmured, pulling her close to him and embracing her in a hug. He planted soft kisses on the crown of her head and rubbed her cheek affectionately.
"I don't want this for you, Sam. You deserve so much more. So, come home with me."
"What? Are you hearing yourself right now, Quinn? I don't think-"
"No, wait, Sam. Just hear me out a second - I live in an oversized house on Dudley Road. My mom kicked my dad out, we have two spare rooms and another one left over from when my sister moved out. We have more than enough space to accommodate you and your family."
Sam's eyes widened, his thought running wild. "You can't be serious! Quinn, we can't do that to you and your mom. It's not our place to do so."
"And that's why I'm asking you. Frankly, I should have proposed it earlier. I don't want this for you anymore, Sam. So, I want to help you as much as possible. You're welcome to stay with us for as long as you need."
"Quinn…" he whispered, a coat of tears blurring his vision. Soon enough he was sobbing, jerking back and forth as he held her close.
She hushed him in a soothing tone, holding him tightly and stroking his back. She place a gentle kiss on his lips. "Why are you crying?" she asked, looking into his eyes. He looked like a child who had just scraped their knee at the playground. She felt overly protective and responsible for him.
"I just… really love you." he cried before bursting into even more severe tears than she had before.
They both remained like that for a long time. Quinn held him tightly, never letting him go. She wouldn't let him go, not this time. She wasn't going to make the same mistakes from before. This time, it was going to be different. This time, it was going to be okay. They would stand together and they wouldn't fall apart, not anymore. She would never allow it.
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
I know the ending is kind of brief but it's the way I wanted it to be. It was more about the description and feelings than the outcome to be honest. I've been working away at this non-stop since yesterday so I hope you appreciate it! It really loved writing it… reviews would be awesome!