Abridged Kirby: Episode 19
By: JadeDragonKnight
Part 1
Author's Note: Welcome to another installment of my Abridged Kirby series! Yes, it has been a while, I know. But, I've wanted to do this episode for some time now. And hopefully by writing this I will get back in the grove and finish my other stories. Anyway, enjoy!
Normally I would tell you how unnaturally beautiful the day is in Dreamland, BUT there's been a change in scenery. This story of randomness begins in the realm of cyberspace. Not really sure how to describe it. Kinda looks like an endless sky of emerald circuits, but we can pretend it's the Matrix with all the columns of numbers and letters forming shapes…pick whichever one you like.
Anyway!
All was calm in the webs of cyberspace. Electricity and data flowed without obstruction. Suddenly, a white light whisked through the field. The light stopped momentarily as if it was searching for something. Then it flew forward again. Soon it came to a golden door that bore an insignia with the letters NHM.
"Holy Nightmare Corporation's Network," the light muttered, "perfect."
Suddenly, it slammed into the door and came to a small room of screens on the other side. In the dim light, the white ball appeared as a glowing elf boy with a headband. The boy began to shot at the screens with lightning bolts, disrupting the system. Almost immediately, the doors closed behind and a man's face appeared on all the screens.
"Oh great, another pesky virus," the man grumbled.
"Not a virus, old man," the glowing boy replied.
"A hacker? Even worse, but we deal with you the same. You are trespassing in the Holy Nightmare Network. If you do not leave in ten seconds, you will be erased with cool looking cyber cannons that we just installed…if I can get them to turn on…"
The boy grunted in amusement and rubbed his nose.
"Not a hacker either," he added. "You are going to give me some information."
"Wait, you're actually in cyberspace?! How the heck did you manage that? Are you like made of codes now? How do you use the bathroom?"
The boy waved the question away and asked, "Is the strongest Star Warrior in the Pop Star system?"
The man perked up in interest.
"Well, if you have business in Pop Star, I can give you a ride, free of charge."
The room's light grew to a blinding white. The boy opened himself up to the power the room provided. Suddenly, he was transported to another section of cyberspace that showed a view of a galaxy.
"The enemy that I'm hunting is there," the elf boy mumbled.
Well, that was a bit of an acid trip. Now we return to our intrepid young hero, Kirby. It was a sunny day in Dreamland. Kirby was happily walking down a dirt path with a huge basket heaping with various fruits and vegetables on his back (bet he doesn't get scurvy). Suddenly, a strange hum came from the sky. Kirby stopped to listen. The sound seemed to fly into the castle.
In the throne room, a button pushed down on the chair by itself. The lights went off as the demon downloader unfolded from under the floor. Other pieces of machinery popped out of the walls, sparking with life. A great cascade of electricity came from the downloader. Suddenly, the downloader rumbled with great intensity.
An earthquake shook the castle, making Escargon and Dedede, who were playing golf outside, to jump.
"What was that?" the king asked.
"Don't look at me, I didn't do it," the attendant quickly said.
In the apartment, the house of cards Bun and Fumu were building collapsed.
"Aw dang it!" Bun shouted.
"Alright, who turned on the earthquake?" Fumu added.
Very soon, the castle residents swarmed toward the throne room. Dedede and Escargon with a band of armed Waddle Dee, Bun, Fumu, and the knights all gathered in the throne room to see the downloader running.
"You ordered something again?" the snail asked.
"Of course not! Charge!" the king commanded.
The Waddle Dee rushed inside. Suddenly, the room lit up.
"What the-?"
The Waddle Dee flew out of the room and knocked the king over.
Just then, a boy surrounded with white light stepped out of the throne room. He looked at the crowd. Suddenly, he flew right between Bun and Fumu and disappeared down the hall.
"Enemy attack!" the king yelled. "Throw the CHEESE!"
"What?" the snail asked.
"Wait, that's not right," Dedede said as he grabbed a script from behind and checked it. "Ah, here we go. Everyone, to arms! To arms!"
The castle swarmed with Waddle Dee, all armed with spears. When the boy got to them, he simply punched his way through. He stopped for a moment and threw an energy ball. The ball blasted a hole in the wall to the outside. Just then, Bun and Fumu ran up to the scene, but they stopped dead when the boy looked back at them. He flew at them as they fled screaming back down the hall. Suddenly, the blue caped crusader jumped between the kids and the psychotic flying boy. The boy looked back to find that Sword and Blade were blocking the other way. He levitated to the ground and waited.
"Who do you think you are flying around here, punching Waddle Dee, blowing holes in the walls, chasing children, and glowing?!" Meta Knight protested. "That's not very nice! And I'm pretty sure at least one of those things is illegal."
The boy rubbed his nose. Suddenly, he whipped around and threw energy balls at Sword and Blade, knocking them over. Meta Knight lunged at him. The boy threw another ball at the knight, but he sliced through it. Then, he swung at the boy, but he leaped out of the way and landed on the tip of his sword.
"Hey, no fair, get off," Meta Knight said, shaking his sword.
The boy grinned down at him.
"Wait…" the knight muttered as he took a closer look at him. Suddenly, his eyes went wide and he pointed a finger at the glowing elf with a strange wheezing sound coming from his unseen gapping mouth. The boy raised an eyebrow.
"Stand back!"
The boy jumped off the sword and looked down the hall.
"The troublemaker is under control," the king said as he and his attendant rolled up in a tank.
Meta Knight continued to gawk and point at the boy.
The boy got into a fighting stance as the tank aimed at him. Once it fired, the boy struck down. Suddenly, an explosion blew a hole through the wall.
"Haha! That boy is in little pieces now!" the king gloated.
"But, this area is in little pieces too," Escargon added when the dust cleared revealing a giant chunk of missing building.
"Should I turn you into little pieces next?" said a voice below them.
Suddenly, the tank lifted into the air and was flung out of the hole. Bun and Fumu watched as the tank crashed into the ground below. They turned and ran down the hall. The knights gathered to look outside the hole. Meta Knight was still gawking and pointing a finger at the boy.
Dedede and Escargon were collapsed on the ground in a daze. Then, they snapped out of it when they saw the glowing boy. After a few seconds, the light faded revealing a purple elf boy that somewhat resembled a wrestler.
"Thanks," he said, rubbing his nose. "That was good exercise."
"What? A child?!" the king stammered.
"Do I look old to you? The name's Knuckle Joe."
Fumu and Bun stood behind a tree not far from them.
"Knuckle Joe?" Fumu muttered.
"Who the heck names their kid Knuckle Joe?" Bun asked.
"I have a question," Knuckle Joe stated. "Where is the Star Warrior?"
Everyone gasped.
"I know he's here. Answer me!"
Escargon whispered to Dedede, "This guy will…"
"Right," the king muttered back. He jumped up, laughed, and replied, "Well, we might know something about this Star Warrior."
"Then tell me, gramps," Joe said.
"What? Gramps?!" the king yelled.
The snail corrected, "This here is the king of Dreamland, you little brat. Show some respect!" Dedede stood straighter in pride as the snail continued, "Sure his appearance is unsightly, and his greed is unmatched, but the Great King Dedede-!"
Suddenly, Dedede smashed the attendant with his hammer and cleared his throat.
"Kirby. That's the name of the Star Warrior you are looking for."
"Kirby," Joe repeated. Then he grinned with malice.
Fumu and Bun glared at him. They nodded to each other then ran the other way.
As the others cleared the courtyard in search of Kirby, Sword and Blade looked over at Meta Knight who was still in a state of shock.
"Um, my lord?" Sword queried.
"Shouldn't we do something about this?" Blade asked.
Meta Knight's eye twitched, seemingly unaware of what they said. Suddenly, he shouted down at the courtyard, "His face has significant value!"
"…What?" the knaves asked in unison.
In a flash, the blue knight bolted down the hall out of sight. The two knights shrugged then ran after him.