Loss in Perspectives
Disclaimer: None of the Final Fantasy VII characters are mine. I do not own them, I just wrote a story with them. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
They screamed, loud. They screamed into the night. They screamed to the silence of the snow. They screamed until their throat was comparable to raw fish.
Why, why did it end like it did? Was there even a reason that this ending was so cold? So uncaring?
In their head, no, nothing made this ok. Everything made the words mostly bitter and barely sweet. It was all ridiculous and too sudden.
Hadn't they thought this out better? Hadn't they spent time to make sure that it wouldn't end this way? Or was it another person's fault? Maybe they had done everything they could have to stop people from leaving. Though, it could have been all their fault.
"Why… why won't you speak to me anymore?" their voice was cracking like logs thrown in a dying fire. They could taste a little blood, but how could that matter to them now?
They lay in the snow, hoping the cold would take them too. Maybe if their heart was ice as well they could stop caring and move on. Perhaps it would turn their tears back to a pool that couldn't be reached by their emotions anymore.
No matter how they looked at it though, they were still here, where everything had happened. Happiness, sadness, grief, and absolute anguish.
It had been only a little while since their loss, they realized. Though some of it was easier to bear because of the love they still had around them, another part of it remained. It festered and darkened every thought when they found themselves alone. It couldn't be helped. Loss was never an easy thing to go through, it took time, and it still needed some more.
"It's my fault anyway, isn't?" they asked the sky angrily. "Just tell me that it is! Tell me I'm an absolute fuck up! Tell me that my love, and my grief are for nothing so I can just move on!"
The soft shifting noise of snow was their only answer to their desperate and pitiful anger. "That's right… ignore me. Just shun and act like I don't miss you, or I'm reaching out for you. Just… keep quiet… maybe it's all for the best."
The night was only getting colder, and their friends would start wondering where they went. There was a wish though that they could just melt into the snow and stay there until their burdening thoughts and emotions would shrivel and fade to nothing.
However, they new better than to make their loved ones worry, it wasn't fair to them. This grief and pain was still self caused, no matter how small or large it could be seen as. "Takes more than one to cause hurt."
Sighing, and trying to brush the icicles from their stinging cheeks, they came up to a kneel in the deepening snow, staring blankly at the building where so many events had taken place.
"I almost never want to see this place again…"
While they stared, a thought came to their busy mind as they suddenly reached inside their pocket for the flower they had found in the road. They thought how there wasn't a better way to start a new beginning than to leave it at one of the scenes of crime. Guilt couldn't help but flare along with more anger and tears, but they knew this was going to help them get over this seeming impossible hill of loss.
"I'm sorry Zack… but I have to move on. … Perhaps one day we'll be able to forgive each other for failing." Before the blond stood, he put the single flower up against the building, making one pitiful wish that nothing like this would ever happen again. "… I still love you though. …That's one thing no matter where I go in life that will never change even when I can move on."
Standing, Cloud wiped the final trail of tears for that day and turned away from the lifeless place, to go back to the warmth of the people who were now his family and his new chapter, whispering one last thing, "I hope you aren't mad that I'm still crying over you. Loss… in any perspective, is never insignificant."
Maybe one day I can tell the real life story without having to use a mask. However, this is something I want to be looked at in all ways, and mostly that loss can be looked at in many different ways, but it all comes down to the same emotions, hurt, and time needed to heal.
Thank you for reading my story, I hope it was ok since it's my first one in almost two years.