A new year's oneshot that makes no use of the holiday.
This is a badly thrown together oneshot, but I just wanted to put something up before 2013 ends. This was also made to inform everyone that I currently, (I'm at someone else's house) have no internet which is why my stories seem as if they have been forgotten.
Also my take on the best thing that Amy has ever imagined, the Penny seduces Sheldon prompt. All mistakes and errors are mine, but eh characters are not. Also, contains spoilers from The Cooper Extraction.
"Without Sheldon, most of us would've never met, but Penny would still live across from him."
"And with Leonard out of the picture, we all know what that would mean."
She feels great today, not just great- really, really great.
Today was the day; the day that she'd finally get her mysterious, anti-social neighbor to look her way. Something about this day told her that this was it. Her horoscope told her that something eventful would happen to her today; a fateful encounter of some sort. A girl who wanted to tell her feelings to her oblivious friend was on tv, and they were now together. And on her way home, she saw a cute superhero shirt, like the one Sheldon always wears, displayed at a store window at a reasonable price. She didn't buy it, though. She went for the nice top displayed in the next store.
So yes, she really feels that this was it.
With her laundry basket filled with dirty clothes she should have noticed days ago resting comfortably on her hip, she made her way to the only place he'd be at a time like this. The laundry room.
Penny enters the room, immediately spotting him in front of a washing machine. Strike hard, fast, and straight to the point. That quote was included in her horoscope, too, and was some really great advice. She skips towards the table, smiling at his back. "Hey, Sheldon," he turns to her, an emotionless look on his face, "hello." She has never seen another expression on his face other than a tiny, kind of amused grin that he gives her some times. It made her even more curious to know the other side of him that no one else in the building knew.
"Doing laundry?" She asks, making her way to him. Acting all dumb and cute always got the guys. Always.
Sheldon turns to her again, "of course, I'm doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night," he looks around, "and I'm in the laundry room. So, I believe you inference is justified." She fake laughs, dumb and cute was the way. But she really didn't know what inference meant- she'd have to google that later. "My inference is justified! Sheldon, you are so funny!"
This time he gives her a look that mixes annoyance and frustration; the cute and dumb act wasn't working. Maybe, it was time for the straight to the point part.
"Anyway, I need to do laundry, too. Cause these clothes are so dirty," she unzips her jacket, slips them off and edges closer to him. "Almost as dirty as the dirty girl who's wearing them." Sheldon turns around, takes a look at her and grimaces- then steps away from her. "I'm not sure on what you're trying to do, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't invade my personal space, Penny." She steps back and mentally sighs. She could get any guy she wanted, it was true, and yet she wonders why she's still so curious about him. It's not like he's drop dead gorgeous, cause he's really not. Not by a long shot.
He nods at her and returns to his laundry, and she tries to formulate another plan.
"Hey, Sheldon, I need to ask your opinion on something."
"Will that something help in you not harassing me on a daily basis?"
"Maybe," straight to the point was the motto. She slips off her tank top and takes a deep breath, she knows she looks hot, and that any other guy would definitely drop on their knees if they see her like this. "Turn around." He does as she says, and stares at her, knotting his fingers in front of him as he evaluates her. It may be working!
"So, what do you think?"
His eyes search her a few more seconds before answering, "a tad asymmetrical, but nothing to be concerned about." If she would strip naked in front of him, he'd probably still look at her like a dull, unoriginal statue. Great. "Please, Sheldon, I need you." His serious, unreadable face doesn't falter, "to, what?"
"To take me," she expresses this as understandable as possible.
"I'm not taking you anywhere until you put on another shirt," he quickly responds, and her resolve breaks. She seriously cannot act like this forever, there has got to be a way for him to understand what she wants. Out of frustration, she walks to him and gestures to the both of them. "Come on, Sheldon, you and me, right here." He looks as if she should know what he's thinking, but she doesn't. They hadn't spent more than an hour together from the moment they first met up to now, how could she even know what he's thinking? If only there was a way for her to always come over. Had she known that he was looking for a roommate, she would've moved in with him. It would be a lot cheaper.
"Penny, for the thousandth time," he tells her matter-of-factly, "I'm saving myself for someone special. Perhaps a cute, bespectacled neuroscientist, with hair the color of mud." He really doesn't seem like the person who waits for true love and soul mates, but she barely knew him so she really couldn't judge.
For a split second, she feels like quitting then an idea pops onto her head,
"I think I know how to change your mind." She tells him and slowly leans up to kiss him. He stands still as their lips connect, until he roughly pushes her off him. "What are you doing?" He shrieks, and she frowns at him, "I was trying to change your mind, obviously." Her tall neighbor vehemently shakes his head, "assaulting me is not a way of changing my mind into having coitus with you, Penny." She cocks an eyebrow, him and his odd words, "coitus?"
"Sex," he says it like the word is poison, then turns his back at her and quickly dumps the remaining articles of clothing into the machine. "Although it is against my policy, I shall return to get my clothes later. I don't do this often but, Penny, I beg of you, please stop assaulting me. I am not interested, and never will be." He sets the controls and grabs his laundry basket, stepping past her. "Goodnight, Penny."
Her eyes follow him as he exits the room and huffs. It wasn't such a great day, after all.
He interacts with her nearly two days later.
Knock, Knock, Knock. "Penny."
Knock, Knock, Knock. "Penny."
Knock, Knock, Knock. "Penny."
Penny finds it surprising that he's the one who initiates the conversation, since it's always her who does. She stands, checks her outfit then makes her way to the door. "Hey there, Sheldon, what brings you here?"
It takes a few more seconds until he finally speaks. "I seem to be missing a piece of clothing," his eyes are as accusing as they are blue. "As you are the most viable suspect, I decided to ask you myself. Did you take my green Green Lantern insignia shirt?" She shakes her head and leans on the doorframe, "sorry, Sheldon, it wasn't me. Maybe you just misplaced it or something. It might even be in that mysterious apartment of yours."
Apartment 4A wasn't as mysterious as its owner. She had first seen the inside of the neighboring apartment when Sheldon arrived with groceries and opened the door a bit wider than he had originally intended. The living room was bare; with a simple lawn chair sitting in the middle, a tv accompanied by game consoles and a stack filled with games, a bookshelf and a white board. He had never invited her inside, and she had never seen anyone, other than him, enter his apartment before. Though, she's pretty sure that it was his mother and sister who had recently visited.
Now, his living room was worthy of the name. A brown leather sofa now sat where the lawn chair used to be; two desks were added on opposite sides of the room, and recently, a round glass coffee table was welcomed to the 4A furniture family. It took her four separate days to see the new items, and she saw each via Sheldon entering and exiting his apartment. He never did invite her in, and she never saw anyone go in as well. She finds it a bit sad that he lives in that big apartment all alone.
Her neighbor scowls, he seems to be doing that more often, and straightens his posture. "Did anyone else enter the laundry room while I was gone?" He seems dead serious on finding his shirt, it must be important. "I'm not sure, I left the laundry room after you left. Maybe, you should ask the other tenants." There is another beat of silence- as if he was thinking of doing it. "By the way, I had some pizza delivered, want some?" It's more like microwaved pizza, but she could lie as long as it would convince him to finally come over.
"Hmm, I have yet to have dinner and the thought of pizza is appealing," Sheldon taps a finger on his chin, searching behind her for the box of pizza. "Is that pizza from Giaccomo's? It is pizza night." How odd, he has a specific day for specific food. "Uh yeah, it's from Giaccomo's." His face brightens up and he actually smiles at her, very odd.
Sheldon gestures to her to move away from the door, and she does, and they make their way inside. She takes a seat on her couch while he stands in front of the door, searching the room. "Fascinating, I had expected your apartment to be messy and uncivilized. This is truly impressive." Penny finds him even more tactless than she expected. "Well, I am pretty surprising, aren't I?" He ignores her and continues on glancing at the different furniture in the room. Odd. After a while, he decides on sitting beside her on the couch. "Ooh, that's exactly the flavor I like! My Penny, aren't you full of surprises?" He takes a napkin and places a slice of pizza on it, "so, Sheldon, what are your plans for the new year? You had your mother and sister over for Christmas, right?"
He nods, "yes, my mother, my twin sister and her son recently decided to spend Christmas here. They also decided on violating my space and adding incredulous and unnecessary furniture." She waits as he takes another bite then swallows, "do you have diet coke?"
"Yeah, let me just get some," Penny stands and makes her way to her fridge, grabbing two cans of soda. "I have never understood the festivity of new years. There's nothing really new, other than the year and the placement of days in the year. No one really accomplishes their new year's resolution, and no one really changes." She places the diet coke in front of him and sits back in her spot. "To answer your question, my plan for the new year is to stay in my apartment and wait for the festivity to end."
"But that's no fun," she comments as she watches him eat, "new year's celebration are always the best! Unlike christmas, there's so much more to just counting down on new year's eve!" She can see him roll his eyes disapprovingly, causing her to sigh. "New year's celebrations are about waiting for, well, a new year with people you care about! Like with a best friend, or your family."
Sheldon raises an eyebrow, obviously doubtful on what she said. "Why would I want to wait for the change of year with people like that? I find no difference with that and going to school or working. Both are spent spending time with people, like what you say is so great about new year's celebrations."
"Well, another great thing about the new year is a brand new start!" He turns to her, waiting, and seemingly interested in what she's about to say, "like, if you were all grouchy and anti-social this year, you can be nice and friendly next year! Or maybe you can start being friends with someone you never talk to. A new year is a new beginning, and anything can happen."
"Interesting," he murmurs to himself, "however, I find no idiosyncrasy between each year, less the 31st of December and the 1st of January. Regardless of that, I appreciate your futile attempt of engaging in banal chit chat and persuading me to participate in said festivity." There are a few gaps in what he said; since she doesn't know some of the words he used, but she's sure that there was a compliment somewhere. "Well, I try," she says, grinning at him, "but you know, the most magical thing about new year's eve is the new year's eve kiss!"
"Kiss?" The physicist asks in a mixture of curiosity and confusion.
Penny nods, "yup! Once the ball drops, and it's officially the new year, you kiss someone. Your girlfriend or boyfriend, someone you like or a plain stranger. Something about the tradition is really magical." Sheldon blinks at her, and she finally decides that he's really odd- but that doesn't mean that she no longer likes him. She likes him, she really does, but it doesn't change the fact that he's weird. In a cute way. "How exactly is it magical?" She shrugs, she's not sure what makes it so great, but it just is. She guesses that it depends on the person who sees it. Sort of like an acquired taste. "I'm not sure, but it is. Hey, why don't you come over for my new year's eve party! You're a scientist right? So why don't you treat this as an experiment, like research or something."
Sheldon thinks for a moment, which is pretty much what he's doing most of the time, and gives her a look of interest. "I suppose you're right, I never really have been to one. Alright then, I shall go and gather information." He stands, staring down at her, "what time shall I arrive here?" She smiles widely, she can't believe it but it's finally happening! She actually got Sheldon to hang out with her, sort of. She really did have a party for new year's eve, she just didn't bother on inviting him since he's, well, Sheldon. This might take a turn for the better, she thought. "Ill be setting the party up at about eight, so you can come over by nine thirty. Oh, and wear something nice."
"Very well then," he says, walking towards the door. "I thank you for the meal, and although it is not up to my specific qualifications, I enjoyed it. I will see you at the party in," he peers down at his watch, "twenty five hours and fifteen minutes. Good night, Penny."
Once he's gone, she can't help but grin at what an eventful day this day had been.
By nine twenty the next evening, Penny had everything ready. Clean apartment, check. Food, check. Alcohol, check. Ultra hot outfit that she got way cheaper than it was originally priced, check. Party paraphernalia that came with the paper plates, check. Text from her friends saying that they were on their way, check. New year's eve party, check.
Knock, Knock, Knock. "Penny."
Knock, Knock, Knock. "Penny."
Knock, Knock, Knock. "Penny."
Cute yet whacky neighbor's attendance, a bit early but, check. Now all she needed was a new year's kiss, but she was sure that she'd get one. Her friends invited friends of their own, and some of her former flings. It wouldn't hurt to kiss one of them. She swings her front door open, grinning happily at Sheldon. "Hey, Sheldon, happy new year! You're a bit early," he shifts uncomfortably, allowing her to notice his outfit. He was wearing a gray button up shirt with one of his superhero shirts underneath. Maybe he was some sort of secret superhero, or a really tall kid. She hopes that he's the former, she has no plans of going to jail. Nevertheless, a few more closed buttons up, he was going to look great. He was even wearing nice pants instead of those hideous brown ones he always wore.
"You look great! What got you all dressed up?" Sheldon scowls at her comment and shoves some kind of tray into her hands, "you said wear something nice. I called up my sister and asked what was appropriate, and this was what she came up with." He marches into her apartment and sits on his previous seat. "I brought food, just in case my attendance has made the food you prepared insufficient for everyone." She takes the tray to the kitchen, and places the huge bowl of spaghetti on the counter. He's actually thoughtful underneath the cold and condescending demeanor. "Thanks, this looks great! So, what brings you here ten minutes too early?"
"I thought that you might need help preparing," he looks around and spots the counter filled with alcohol, sending it a sour look. "it appears that you have everything under control. When do your guests arrive?" Penny takes a seat beside him, she was a bit exhausted from all the preparing. She even made an effort to cook instead of just serving chips. "They'll probably arrive quarter to ten or something, I'm not really sure."
"Is there a possibility of them canceling?" He asks, grabbing a party hat from her coffee table and observing it. "No, they'll come, it's just a bit early." She takes a hat for herself and straps it on, "drat, I was hoping that they would cancel." She isn't sure if he was serious or if he was joking, but she knows that he's contemplating on whether or not he should wear the hat. "My friends aren't that bad, you might even like some of them," she tells him, "maybe even get a new year's kiss from one of them!"
He makes a sound, something like a hiss and replies. "I still don't understand the importance of this kiss, but I'm guessing that you are planning on kissing someone. Am I right?" Her eyes widen as his narrows, and she feels like she's being trailed for murder. She suddenly gets a great idea and smiles, "oh you bet I am. Are you thinking of trying it out? There are gonna be a lot of pretty girls tonight, but I wouldn't mind if you wanted to kiss me." His facial expression changes from his usual scowling self to the blank and emotionless one he does when she tries to hit on him. "Why would I want to try that, nevertheless, kiss you? Kissing is icky, Penny," he points out, "and full of germs. Your mouth is dirtier than a toilet, and kissing makes it worst. I hope you at least floss and brush your teeth thrice a day, Penny."
She's known him for nearly two years, and she's tried seducing him for a good year and a half, and it only takes a few minutes for her to want to punch him. Though, don't get her wrong, she still likes him and wants to get him into her bed. It's just that, she just realized that they really don't know anything about each other. A random thought, yet it bothers her. This is one of those times when she really wishes that there was something that allowed her to go to his apartment everyday and spend time with him- like a roommate that was dead set on making her his girlfriend. Then, she would have at least knew that he was afraid of germs. Asking him to have sex in a laundry room really was doomed to happen.
"I do, don't worry Mr. Hygiene."
"It's Doctor Hygiene," he corrects her, finally placing the party hat down. Penny turns to him, "you're a doctor? I thought you were a scientist?" Sheldon frowns, looking displeased with her, "I have two Phd's, therefore I am a doctor, although it only requires one to be one." That is the last time he speaks before her friends arrive. The guests are twice than she expected, and she's thankful for the extra food Sheldon brought. Speaking of Sheldon, she notices him sitting still the entire night as various of her friends try to talk to him. He doesn't seem to be interested in any of them, and that makes her feel happy. She doesn't need to tell the other girls that Sheldon is not, and will never be interested in her.
Penny talks to some of her friends, and some of her exes, while Sheldon barely acknowledges her friends. He feels uncomfortable, she knows that much. She excuses herself away from a cute guy that her friend brought and makes her way toward him. "Hey, Sheldon, hows the research going?" He looks up at her, firmly clutching a red cup filled with either alcohol or soda, and glares. "Horrible," he spats , glaring at her drunk friend who crashes down next to him, "all these women either keep on asking me if I'm a superhero that's going to save them or if I needed someone to, and I quote, heat my body up with. I have no interest in such, Penny."
She laughs at how irritated he looks. If it was some other guy getting hit on, he'd immediately say yes and leave the party, but not Sheldon. She wonders if he really was waiting for that girl with hair the color of mud. "They were just kidding, sweetie, and they're actually nice if you get to know them more." He frowns, scooting away from her drunk friend, "I have no intentions of getting to know them. Once the ball drops and it is officially the new year, I shall return to my apartment. Any longer than that and I'll drown in this crowd of inebriated people."
"Aww, that's no fun, Sheldon," she turns to her tv, "look there's seven minutes left! Do you have a new year's resolution?"
"Yes, there are a few," he tells her while pursing his lips, "I plan on getting tenured, getting a Nobel, and finally meeting Leonard Nimoy and Stan Lee. I assume that it is protocol to ask you what yours is so, and whats your new year's resolution, Penny?"
The blonde smiles, reaching for a party hat and strapping it on Sheldon's head. "Well, I'm gonna work hard on getting acting gigs, quit the Cheesecake Factory, get a new boyfriend and make some new friends." He vehemently removes the hat and places it back on the table, "I did not know that you were an aspiring actress. My sister had once wanted to be an actress to and often forced me to run lines with her. If you ever need a second opinion to criticize your skills, do not be afraid to ask me to do so." He's actually offering to hang out with her, that's something she didn't expect. He must have realized that she's actually a great person and that it wouldn't hurt to be friends with her. Wishful thinking, though, maybe he finally likes her now!
"Thanks, I'll take that offer when I get an acting job. And if you ever need someone to help you with scientific experiments, I'll be here." Sheldon gives her a small smile as he checks his watch, "three minutes before I wrap this experiment up."
"Hey Penny!" Penny smiles back at Sheldon before making her way to the friend who called her. Her friend, another waitress from the Cheesecake Factory, introduces her to her brother, who is actually really cute and she's got her new year's kiss guy ready. He works as a bartender and would really like to see her again after the party, and it didn't seem right to turn him down. At the corner of her eye, she sees Sheldon sigh as he checks his watch. He's probably waiting for the party to be over. She kind of feels bad, since she tricked him into going and he hasn't even smiled the entire night. Here she was, flirting with a really cute guy hosting a raging party while Sheldon sat, desperately waiting for the party to end.
Penny tells the cute guy that she'll talk to him later and she returns to where her neighbor had been sitting the entire night. "Hey," she says as if they didn't know each other, "having fun?" Sheldon looks up, his mouth in a straight line and doesn't answer her question. "Thirty seconds to go," he says flatly as he stands up. "Aren't you supposed to get your new year's kiss ready?" The other guests make their way around the couch, counting down as Sheldon moves towards the door and she follows. "There's still twenty seconds, Sheldon, you're not supposed to go yet." He nods at her, "I prefer not to be in crowded spaces, I'll be fine here. I can also recall that there is a documentary about comic books at twelve thirty, and I can't miss that."
"Ten!" Penny yells along with her friends, a few steps away from her neighbor. "Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!" From behind her, she hears Sheldon grumbling about how noisy it is and she laughs. "Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy new year!" She feels a hand grab hers and is yanked towards her friend's brother who kisses her. New year's kiss, check. A second later he pulls away and smiles at her and heads to his sister and it takes a moment for her to regain composure. She turns towards the door to smile at Sheldon, but she notices that he left. She snorts at his rudeness, she at least expected him to say goodbye, and returns to her friends.
They're neighbors; she could deal with him later.
Penny runs into Sheldon a week later when she leaves to go to the grocery store.
"Hey!" She angrily calls after him, turning around to follow him up the stairs. The elevator was under maintenance and it never hurt to use the stairs, she needed exercise.
"Hello, Penny," he says in a neutral voice, not even bothering to turn to look at her. Sheldon has been avoiding her since the party, and she knows it. The day after the party she went to his apartment first thing in the morning and he ignored her. He was there, she heard the tv turn off when she approached the door. She also waited for him in the laundry room on laundry night, and he didn't appear. He was actually getting on her nerves for reasons other than him not wanting to sleep with her.
They reach their floor and she trails after him into his apartment. "I don't recall inviting you in, Penny," he tells her as he drops his keys in a bowl. She stops, closes the door behind her and takes in the fact that she's inside 4A. The apartment was bigger than she thought. "Yeah well, I invited myself in," she huffs before taking a seat on the right side of the sofa. Sheldon stops whatever he's doing, turns around and gives her the deadliest look she has ever seen him give her. "That's my spot. Move."
"What? No way, I like it here," she sees him fuming and if only looks could kill, she would be dead, probably on the first day she tried to seduce him. He walks to the sofa and stops in front of her. "Move, Penny, that's my spot. There are two more spaces and an unclaimed beige couch, feel free to choose and get off my spot!" His eye twitches and she takes it as a sign that she really has to move. She scoots over to the other end of the sofa and stares up at him. He grins and turns to sit at his desk. What a whackadoodle.
"So why did you leave without saying goodbye?" She asks and she decides to get her groceries tomorrow. 4A has this fresh, clean kind of smell that reminded her of Sheldon. "The festivity ended and there was no need for me to stay. I also did not say goodbye as we are neighbors, and we see each other regularly." Penny shook his head, frowning at his back, "regularly? You've been avoiding me for a week now! I even went down for laundry night and you weren't there. Aren't we friends?"
He swivels his chair to face her and scowls, "when did we become friends?"
"That's not the point," she seethes, he is seriously socially retarded. "It would have been nice if you had at least said goodbye." Penny crosses her arms, she found nothing wrong in saying goodbye to someone. It was polite to say goodbye, he should know that. "I apologize for being uncouth, but my mother called and I could not understand anything she was saying with the noise in your apartment. I also failed to thank you for inviting me to your party. I cannot say that I enjoyed it but it was the thought that counts."
"Alright, apology accepted, but why have you been avoiding me?"
The way he furrows his eyebrows and the look of confusion on his face makes her realize that he had not been avoiding her. "Avoiding you? I wasn't avoiding you, I was merely busy. There is a laser that I need to use in the university that has recently been open for scheduled use, and I maximized my time to utilize it to it's potential. If my tests are correct, it could lead to a much awaited breakthrough in science, and that could lead to a Nobel. Walking to the university takes a long time, and in order to meet my schedule, I must leave early. Which is possibly the reason why you may have missed me." A bit humiliating, but it's great that he doesn't press on it much,
"You walk to work?" He nods and turns back to his desk, "yes, since I have failed to get a roommate that is a colleague who can drive, I have returned to walking. The Pasadena walking society is surprisingly very kind, they even give free water to members. Walking regularly also has helped me endure fatigue."
"Don't you have friends at work?" Her question makes him silent and she immediately knows the answer. "I have no need for friends, they are bothersome. I am perfectly happy with myself, and a few anonymous people I met in Age of Conan. However, a colleague with a car who will drive me to and from work would certainly be beneficial, but walking is good." She feels sympathy for him; he doesn't even have friends, although that's because he's anti-social and already sees friendship as a nuisance. Everyone should have at least one friend.
"Hey, what if I drive you to and from work? Caltech is on my way to the Cheesecake Factory!" She suggests happily. If he agrees then they would be able to spend time together and she'll become his friend. And, maybe, once they know each other more, Sheldon will finally give in to her! It's a perfect plan and she could probably get him to pay her gas every now and then. "Hmm, your idea sounds feasible. I get out at seven everyday, what time will you be able to pick me up?" He takes out his phone and shows her his schedule. She can see reminders about a comic book night and halo night, whatever those were. Tonight was halo night, it must be something about angels. She already knew what Laundry night was.
"I can pick you up by seven thirty on these days, but I get out at eight on these days, can you wait for those days?"
"I don't have to go to work on these days, and yes, I can wait. You must notify me if you will be later than said time." She agrees and then there is a beat of silence.
"So, what's halo night?"
"Penny," he hisses a couple of nights later, "your check engine light is still blinking. How many times must I remind you to get it checked?" He takes his place in the passenger's seat and closes the door, "I have no plans in dying in a vehicular accident."
"Relax, it's been there since I first got this car, okay?" Sheldon's head snap towards her and he just stares at her, "one more word about my check engine light and I will drop you on the curb, Sheldon." The drive then turns into a quiet one with a few interludes of them talking about their day. It was comic book night and that meant they were going to the comic book store. She had now memorized and understood his schedule, and he rewarded her by spending time with her. She now knew more about him than she used to.
Thirty minutes into the comic book store, she saw Sheldon finally come out, a bag in hand, making his way to her car.
"You all finished?" She asks as she flips through a magazine of her own and he gets inside the car. "Yes, I have all the comic books I need. Also, Stuart, the comic book store owner, wanted to ask for your number." He says the latter emotionlessly as she put the car in drive. "Oh really? Did you give it?" She doesn't turn her head to see his face when he answers, and keeps her eyes on the road as he always instructs. Sheldon would never let her hear the end of it if she got a ticket or got in an accident, assuming they both live.
"Of course not," he huffs and she smiles.
Sheldon decides to eat at The Cheesecake Factory on Tuesdays while waiting for her shift to end. He looks lonely most of the time, and she takes it as her duty as his friend to eat with him whenever she could. He orders the barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue, bacon and cheese on the side, and she orders a different meal each time. He pays, of course, and gives her a generous tip.
Wednesdays are HALO, not halo, night and each time she beats him at his own game. She sometimes hears him mutter at how she's cheating, but there's no cheating in two on two. He often mentions how it would be better if they could play teams and they play online. He also tries to teach her Klingon, and no matter how many times she doesn't listen, he still tries to teach her a word or two.
Their Thursdays are spent with Giaccamo's pizza and a movie of his choosing. She can never pick since he "abhors" her type of movies, but he sometimes lets her pick on what sci fi movie they'll watch. The third Thursday of the month is Anything Can Happen Thursday which is what she forced him to include in his schedule. He can't always get what he wants. She often spends Anything Can Happen Thursday going out on a date and returns home to find him waiting for her. He reasons that he doesn't want anyone shady coming to the apartment and she just laughs it off. In return she cooks him spaghetti with little cut up hot dogs.
There really isn't a schedule for the weekend, but she makes sure to join him during breakfast, which is lunch for him. The no knocking before eleven rule applies to everyone including him, but she's really not gonna punch him.
One fateful Anything Can Happen Thursday, she decides to not go on a date. She stays at home and makes it her Sheldon free day. A nice chick flick, some leftover Thai food and alcohol would be her friends. The past months with Sheldon were fun as they were tiresome. There was a limit on how many times she could re-watch the Star Wars series. Everything was great until he knocks on her door. He starts lecturing her on how she should tell him if she's not going on a date and all she can see is his annoying pair of lips.
So Penny kisses him, again, and there's no alcohol included.
He struggles and she let's him go, it's not like he would do anything further than that. She's not trying to change his mind about his dream girl like she did months ago, she kissed him because she felt like it. He stands, speechless at her door and she suddenly feels tired and bids him goodnight before closing the door. He knocks again but she ignores him, she could deal with him tomorrow.
The next day she wakes up to an unfamiliar knock, and she swears that this is Sheldon trying to fool her, he will really get punched on the throat.
"What?!" She growls and is immediately awakened by the charming face of her co-worker's brother, aka, her last date. "Oh, uh, hi- I mean good morning! Uh, I'm not really dressed, let me just-" The guy cuts her off, and she smiles, "no, it's okay. I just wanted to see you, again. I'm going to Chicago for a while to take care of my dad, and I just wanted to ask if you'd still date me when I come back." She notices 4A's door open and pulls the guy down to whisper her answer. Sheldon appears from his apartment, and stares at the two of them. She isn't sure if he's judging her or disappointed in her but he can see that he's thinking something.
Her new year's eve's flame kisses her cheek to say goodbye then heads on his way. Once he disappears, she turns to her neighbor who had a grim look on his face. "Morning, Moonpie, you don't have work today right?" He shifts his weight and crosses his arms and Penny knows that he's uncomfortable. Within the past few months, she knew everything there was to know about Sheldon. Like how his Meemaw calls him Moonpie, and how much he loves trains and monkeys and to how much he hates Wil Wheaton. He would never admit it, but they were best friends.
"Penny, only Meemaw calls me, Moonpie." She doesn't need to answer that, she knows, but she chooses to annoy him on purpose. "You're up awfully early," he tells her, and she knows that he's not shocked about that. "I heard that man talking to himself and prepared myself if he was here to hurt you. A friend would not allow his friend to get harmed."
"When did we become friends?" She raises an eyebrow and smirks up at him. There's something that he's not telling her but she chooses to not question him. He wouldn't know the answer to it anyway. "I just assumed that we were, uh, friends." A blush appears on across his cheeks and she's laughs, making her way towards him. "Come on, let's go have some breakfast."
He doesn't ask her what she replied, she's sure that he heard their conversation, but she doesn't answer what he's not asking. For all she knows, her answer won't matter anyway.
It almost leaves her stunned when she meets the girl in the hallway. She isn't sure if she was dreaming but she was sure that she wanted to cry.
"My name is Doctor Amy Farrah Fowler, I am a neurobiologist. I am here to inquire about the apartment for rent." Glasses and hair the color of mud, and no matter how hard she pinches herself she just wouldn't wake up. "Uh, yeah, it's this one," she knocks on the door opposite from hers, "Sheldon, someone's here to see you." There's shuffling inside the apartment and soon Sheldon opens the door, "yes?"
The girl, Amy, walks in front of her, extending her hand out to Sheldon. "My name is Doctor Amy Farrah Fowler and I am a neurobiologist, here to inquire about the room for rent." Sheldon's eyes nearly bugs out and he turns to glance at Penny, searching for an answer. She shrugs, waves at him then retreats to her apartment. She never thought that it would happen but it did and she wonders if in some alternate universe, they would meet his girl.
Penny doesn't ask if he approved Amy to be his roommate, but their life continues. She still drives him to and from work, hangs out with him on their scheduled days. Her co-worker's brother finally returned and she spends her Saturday going on a date with him.
"So," Sheldon starts once he sees her return from her date, "did you have coitus?"
She nearly drops her bag and keys and turns to him, eyes wide. "What?" She faces him and gives him a look of confusion. "Coitus, sexual intercourse, sex, I'm sure you understand."
"I know what it means, Sheldon," he nods and gestures for her to enter his apartment, "what I'm trying to say is, why are you asking that?" She notices two sets of food on the coffee table and wonders if the other was for her. "Hmm, just a conversational ice breaker. I read on the internet that a friend's duty is to listen to friend B's date and gush about her lover."
"Female friends," Penny sighs and takes a seat beside his spot, "but thanks for trying." Sheldon takes a seat beside her and hands her a container, "I was going to ask you if you wanted to have dinner, but I noticed that you were gone. So, I waited for your return." She was full but Sheldon gave off a kind of aura that was telling her that he was going to tell her something important. "Thanks, sweetie. I was wondering, is Amy going to move in here, yet?"
"Why would Amy move in here?"
"But aren't you looking for a roommate?" Sheldon tilts his head to the side, "I suppose I am, but..." But what? Is what she wants to say but she doesn't and simply raises her eyebrows up at him. "It seems my requirements for a suitable roommate has changed," he says it calmly as he picks his chopsticks up. "Oh?"
"From a cute, bespectacled neuroscientist, with hair the color of mud, it appears my requirements have changed to an attractive, outgoing waitress with green eyes and hair the color of wheat." The statement nearly makes her choke on rice and immediately grabs the glass of water Sheldon prepared for her. "Excuse me, what?"
Sheldon rolls his eyes before giving her a half annoyed and half amused grin, "what I said, was that my qualifications for a roommate is someone who is an attractive, outgoing waitress with green eyes and hair the color of wheat. If you want it more specific, I prefer that she be an aspiring actress, as well." He smiles at her, a real actual smile, "Penny, will you be my girlfriend and move in with me?"
"I thought that you're not, and never will be interested in me?" She teases him, poking a chopstick in his way. "After months of gathering data and information, as well as experimentation, it seems that I have results that I never thought I would come up with. I have come to the conclusion that you make my heart have premature ventricular contractions."
She tries to understand each word and fails, "um, what does that mean?"
"You make my heart skip a beat," he says this sheepishly and it makes her heart melt. She moves over to kiss him, and agrees to be his girlfriend. In some other universe; they might not have met or became neighbors, or they would simply be friends and nothing more than that.
She's not sure how it happened, how she and Sheldon came to be, but she's happy that they did.
Several weeks later, after she moves in with Sheldon, someone immediately moves in her old apartment. He helps her with her groceries and she notices him checking her out.
"Hi, I'm Leonard Hofstadter, your new neighbor. Nice to meet you." He smiles a bit too wide for her, but she returns it. "I'm Penny, I live in 4A." His smile gets wider and she has a hunch on what he's thinking about. "Really? I'm moving into 4B, ill be living across from you." Her apartment door swings open and her new neighbor's smile falters as Sheldon appears.
"Doctor Cooper?"
"Doctor Hofstadter?"
Sheldon stands beside her, placing an arm around her shoulder. They see that Leonard is disheartened and her boyfriend -slash- roommate smiles, "would you like to come inside? It's HALO night." The shorter man grins and she knows that Sheldon found a new friend.
Date night could wait later.