Sherlock Holmes wasn't a melancholy type. In fact, he was a proper genius, proud, sometimes selfish, usually rude. Definitely sentiment wasn't his cup of tea.
So why was he standing in this room now?
John's room. John's smell was still in the air. Sherlock smiled slightly when he noticed John's favorite mug on the bedside table, next to the book he was reading recently. The detective walked across the room and opened the wardrobe. There weren't many clothes, just a few jumpers and a jacket. With a little sigh, Sherlock ran his fingers along jumpers. His stomach made a funny thing, something like swirl.
"Why do you have to do this? You can live here, with me, and date her."
"Sherlock, I-I don't know. It's just… when you love somebody, you want to live together. I want to wake up next to Mary, make her tea, kiss, when she leave, little ordinary things." John's voice was calm but when he was talking about Mary, he brightened. "I don't expect you could understand, just… accept it, could you?"
Accept it? His best friend – his only friend – was abandoning him and it was unbearable.
"Sherlock, look." Now John was decided. "I'm not leaving you. I'm just getting married. I'm still working with you, we're solving cases, I just won't be here, ok?"
"But-"
"Come on, Sherlock, don't be childish."
Detective frowned.
"I'm not childish, I just don't understand why-"
"You don't have to. Seriously, Sherlock, nothing will change."
Everything changed.
John's wedding was today in the morning. It was a nightmare. A lot of people, dull conversations, bad music and no dead body around to amuse him. At least drinks weren't that bad.
The wedding wasn't the worst thing. It was the honeymoon. John was in the Lake District, happy with his bride. Suddenly Sherlock felt really lonely.
Why was he lonely?
"Sherlock, don't make this puppy eyes again. It's the Lake District, not the end of the world." John was a little drunk. "And I will be back really soon." He tapped Sherlock's arm and grinned. He was really happy. Of course he's happy, it's his wedding reception, thought Sherlock.
"Oh, Sherlock? Don't text me, when I'll be away, ok? It will be my honeymoon and I don't want to receive photos of corpses or body parts. Please, can you do this for me?"
"Of course, John," Sherlock was a bit disappointed, but his face was blank. "Of course."
He promised, so now he was sitting on the bed in John's bedroom, cuddling his jumper and thinking about nothing at all.
Lestrade called him an hour ago, but he didn't want to put up with Anderson, so he didn't pick up the phone.
The case wasn't interesting. Unbelievable.
Sherlock buried his face into the jumper and inhaled deeply. That was interesting. Fascinating. How long this smell will be there?
Then Sherlock noticed something else. In a half-opened drawer he saw a little brown bottle with pills. John's sleeping pills.
"What's that?"
John had a glance at him, question in his eyes.
"The bottle." Sherlock arched his eyebrows and pointed at the pills.
"Oh," doctor looked down, "my sleeping pills. Since Afghanistan, I have nightmares. Not always, just sometimes," he added quickly. "So I take those pills. Sometimes." It sounded awkwardly, but Sherlock didn't push. He knew that could make more harm than good. So he didn't say anything.
Sherlock reached to the drawer. There weren't many pills, just a half of the bottle. John didn't take this with him, so probably he won't be need it. Now he has Mary, she's better than pills. Sherlock grabbed one tablet and looked at it.
He wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget. He wanted to turn off his bloody brain.
The detective took one pill. But then he thought that one isn't enough. So he took another one. And the next one.
It was good. He will forget.
He will forget John wasn't here.
He will forget about that sucking feeling in his chest.
He will forget about everything.
With a little smile he left the empty bottle on the table and laid down with John's warm jumper.
A/N This is my first fic at all, so I'm not sure if this is good, please leave review if you like this. Also, English isn't my first language, so mistakes can happen. Thanks for reading!