Believe in Everything
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: As hard as it maybe be to believe, yeah right *cough cough*, I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or the song "Oasis" by Gackt.
Warnings: Contains mild cussing, depressing themes, shonen-ai (male x male) and lost of angst.
Notes: Cid x Vincent story, main focus is Vincent, kind of a spin off of a one shot I did called "Restless Dreams". Using English translated lyrics of "Oasis" by Gackt, so everyone gets the meaning.
"Until the night slowly ended, I was embracing you
Until I lose everything, without noticing I was being drowned in silence
"It's painful... "
If it had been my former self, my face would have been distorted in agony
If it's now, even this pain remembers kindness"
Fear of the Deep:
The water dripped from the ceiling, hitting his hand with a small splash. He could see and feel it. He was surrounded by it. Each day the level grew higher and higher, filling the room with the piercingly cold liquid. Vincent sighed, sitting atop his damp bed; the sharp cold air in the room piercing his skin and making it sting. He wanted to scream in pain, but he knew that would be a bad idea. He was the only one that could see the water. He was the only one who could feel the sharp cold stab of regret that came along with it.
Constantly the water fell from the sky in silent droplets; though to him each one that fell screeched and pierced his ears. It showed his own self hate and pity. Each day growing more and more, filling the room up to the surface. Flooding the floors where he set down his feet. Right now it wasn't much, but it had only been flowing a few days; ever since Cloud awoke him from his coffin. He couldn't just dream then. No, of course not. Being awake gave him more time to think about how he had fail Lucrecia. Everyday he hated himself more for failing her. He should've saved her. He could've saved her, he was just too pathetic and weak.
Those thoughts ate away at him, creating a deep hole in his heart. It was like a bottomless pit where no light dare showed it's face. It seemed each day the chance of actually finding an end to that pit lessoned. It lessoned as the water flowed; as his self hate grew. It was drowning him. It was killing him slowly, more and more each day. Each day it would push him closer to the edge, and one day it would push him right into the deep depths, and hold him under. He knew no one would save him now, he didn't know if they could. Then again, he didn't know if he wanted them to. At least, he didn't want them to now.
A frustrated sigh escaped his lips; he hadn't enjoyed their many trips to the Golden Saucer, even the slightest bit. Once again, he found himself stuck in the creepy Ghost Hotel for however long Cloud decided to stay here. He didn't even see why they needed to train that Midgar forsaken chocobo any more. It was fine the way it was, being a black chocobo and all. It was able to access so many places, but Cloud didn't seem satisfied. He always seemed to ramble on about how he needed a Golden Chocobo in order to get a legendary Materia.
The hotel was become far too boring for Vincent's taste. All he really had to do in there was think about how deep the water was getting; how close he was to drowning. Such thoughts really weren't all that pleasant to have running through his head constantly. All the negative thoughts had been making his muscle tense, it was surprising even to him, that he actually managed to stand. He pushed himself off the bed and headed out the door.
Truthfully, he really had no idea where he was going. Every thing having to do with this bright shiny, chicken run place annoyed him greatly. The only place he could think of was a ride that went around so he would be able to see the stars better. Mentally, Vincent hoped he wouldn't run into anyone on the way. The thought of having to deal with any of the group tried his last bit of sanity; not that he really had any left to try.
Very soon he found out that his wish to be left alone was going to be denied. He made his way into the unstable looking car, sitting down and getting ready for the ride. The car didn't look like it would hold well, but what else could you expect from these kind of places? They spend so little money on maintaining it, and charge you more then it's really worth. These types of places always made Vincent nervous.
Finally when he was feeling at least a little bit comfortable, and the damn thing was about to start he heard a familiar voice calling his name. It was soon after followed by the gray-blonde haired pilot, Cid Highwind. "Hey Vin!" He said in his normally, happy yet crude, cold and husky voice, "Mind if I join you?"
"I prefer if you didn't," Vincent hissed in a cold voice that most would have backed away, whimpering, because of it. Unfortunately Cid was a lot tougher then most people, and found the harsh and dangerous tone of voice more amusing then frightening.
He completely ignored the raven-haired man's request and sat down next to him, just a little too close for the other's taste. "Don't be like that Vin," he said with a slight grin on his face as Vin scurried over to the other side of the car, "I'm sure we'll have fun. Plus it's a chance for us to get to know each other better."
The thought made Vincent twitch, though it wasn't nearly as bad as trying to actually get Cid to understand the fact that he wanted to be left alone to his thoughts. "Sounds like fun," He replied in a sarcastic tone of voice as he tried his hardest not to roll his eyes when the blonde looked pleased by his reaction. With another sigh he shifted his body so his face was towards the window and he was looking out at the sky; his blood-red eyes looking thoughtfully out at the stars.
Chills went down his spine when he realized that Cid was staring at him with a concerned look on his face. Staring, no matter what the cause of it, was defiantly one of the more annoying things a person could do. "What is it?" Vincent snapped after a few more moments, he was starting to feel uneasy from the stare and the concerned look. It made his stomach flutter a bit, though he wasn't sure why.
"Are you okay? You look troubled," the pilot stated softly, though it only made Vincent look more irritated then he had before. He hated people stating the obvious even more then when they stared at him. He let out a sigh and chose to ignore the question for the time being. The only problem with that is Cid's gaze didn't wander from him, even when the car had started to move.
In an attempt to ignore the blonde, Vincent tried to find the star consolations. Though, once he realized his mind kept wondering back to why in the world Cid wouldn't stop staring at him even though it was clear Vincent didn't want to talk, he gave up. "Fine," he spat beyond the point of just being annoyed, "I am troubled, but my problems are not of your concern, so that stupid puppy dog look on your face is not going to do you any good. I suggest you whip it of before I am forced to get violent."
A small smile couldn't help but creep across his lips when he saw the shocked look on Cid's face. It seemed the ground really didn't know Vincent as well as they thought they did. "Look Vin," the blonde started only to be cut off by, if possible, an even more annoyed raven-haired man.
"No, you look!" he shouted, his blood-red eyes darkening a bit, "I wanted to be alone to wallow in my own head for a while, until I figure some things out. I'm very emotional right now and since this doesn't happen very often I would like to spend this time alone. Now seeing how you ignored my request before, and didn't seem to get the hint when I didn't answer you question I'm going to say this to you as clearly as I can. Leave. Me. Alone." The last three words where said louder and slower then any of the others as to prove Vincent's point.
The blonde pilot didn't seem to respond to this outburst very well. This was so unlike Vincent. Usually he just sat around quietly, locked up inside his own head, only saying things when he was spoken to or when he felt the need to. Every time he had heard the raven-haired beauty speak it had been soft and enchanting but now, he was yelling at him. Cid really didn't know what to do. All he really had wanted to do, tried to do, was console a troubled friend.
His mind searched for words for a moment, but since there was none he decided to do something else that popped into his head. He reached out and wrapped his arms around the frustrated man before him, letting them hold him tightly. "I'm sorry, really. You have no idea how fucking sorry I am," he whispered, trying to be more sensitive when speaking then he normally was, though it didn't seem to be working that well for him, "but if something's troubling, at least talk to me. You never know if it's going to help."
"I can't…" Vincent muttered into Cid's ear, his body sinking into the strong arms. Thick lashes falling over blood-red eyes, "I just can't." He had calmed down a lot from the hug. It had seemed so unexpected. The embraced had calmed him down more by catching him off guard then anything else. Then Cid's words, they made Vincent want to cry. He felt bad for yelling at him before.
The realization that he was drowning hit him hard at that moment, it scared him too. Never before had he been afraid of drowning. He knew it was coming, and had welcomed it before. What had Cid done to make him realize that he really didn't want to drown? He couldn't understand it, and became even more afraid when felt a cool drop of water hit the top of his head.
End Notes:
Gomen ne, that really didn't turn out like I wanted it to, but it's basically got what I mean it to have. I hope that everyone enjoys it, even though it's pretty bad. I'll try and have a new chapter up soon if everyone wants more.
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: As hard as it maybe be to believe, yeah right *cough cough*, I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or the song "Oasis" by Gackt.
Warnings: Contains mild cussing, depressing themes, shonen-ai (male x male) and lost of angst.
Notes: Cid x Vincent story, main focus is Vincent, kind of a spin off of a one shot I did called "Restless Dreams". Using English translated lyrics of "Oasis" by Gackt, so everyone gets the meaning.
"Until the night slowly ended, I was embracing you
Until I lose everything, without noticing I was being drowned in silence
"It's painful... "
If it had been my former self, my face would have been distorted in agony
If it's now, even this pain remembers kindness"
Fear of the Deep:
The water dripped from the ceiling, hitting his hand with a small splash. He could see and feel it. He was surrounded by it. Each day the level grew higher and higher, filling the room with the piercingly cold liquid. Vincent sighed, sitting atop his damp bed; the sharp cold air in the room piercing his skin and making it sting. He wanted to scream in pain, but he knew that would be a bad idea. He was the only one that could see the water. He was the only one who could feel the sharp cold stab of regret that came along with it.
Constantly the water fell from the sky in silent droplets; though to him each one that fell screeched and pierced his ears. It showed his own self hate and pity. Each day growing more and more, filling the room up to the surface. Flooding the floors where he set down his feet. Right now it wasn't much, but it had only been flowing a few days; ever since Cloud awoke him from his coffin. He couldn't just dream then. No, of course not. Being awake gave him more time to think about how he had fail Lucrecia. Everyday he hated himself more for failing her. He should've saved her. He could've saved her, he was just too pathetic and weak.
Those thoughts ate away at him, creating a deep hole in his heart. It was like a bottomless pit where no light dare showed it's face. It seemed each day the chance of actually finding an end to that pit lessoned. It lessoned as the water flowed; as his self hate grew. It was drowning him. It was killing him slowly, more and more each day. Each day it would push him closer to the edge, and one day it would push him right into the deep depths, and hold him under. He knew no one would save him now, he didn't know if they could. Then again, he didn't know if he wanted them to. At least, he didn't want them to now.
A frustrated sigh escaped his lips; he hadn't enjoyed their many trips to the Golden Saucer, even the slightest bit. Once again, he found himself stuck in the creepy Ghost Hotel for however long Cloud decided to stay here. He didn't even see why they needed to train that Midgar forsaken chocobo any more. It was fine the way it was, being a black chocobo and all. It was able to access so many places, but Cloud didn't seem satisfied. He always seemed to ramble on about how he needed a Golden Chocobo in order to get a legendary Materia.
The hotel was become far too boring for Vincent's taste. All he really had to do in there was think about how deep the water was getting; how close he was to drowning. Such thoughts really weren't all that pleasant to have running through his head constantly. All the negative thoughts had been making his muscle tense, it was surprising even to him, that he actually managed to stand. He pushed himself off the bed and headed out the door.
Truthfully, he really had no idea where he was going. Every thing having to do with this bright shiny, chicken run place annoyed him greatly. The only place he could think of was a ride that went around so he would be able to see the stars better. Mentally, Vincent hoped he wouldn't run into anyone on the way. The thought of having to deal with any of the group tried his last bit of sanity; not that he really had any left to try.
Very soon he found out that his wish to be left alone was going to be denied. He made his way into the unstable looking car, sitting down and getting ready for the ride. The car didn't look like it would hold well, but what else could you expect from these kind of places? They spend so little money on maintaining it, and charge you more then it's really worth. These types of places always made Vincent nervous.
Finally when he was feeling at least a little bit comfortable, and the damn thing was about to start he heard a familiar voice calling his name. It was soon after followed by the gray-blonde haired pilot, Cid Highwind. "Hey Vin!" He said in his normally, happy yet crude, cold and husky voice, "Mind if I join you?"
"I prefer if you didn't," Vincent hissed in a cold voice that most would have backed away, whimpering, because of it. Unfortunately Cid was a lot tougher then most people, and found the harsh and dangerous tone of voice more amusing then frightening.
He completely ignored the raven-haired man's request and sat down next to him, just a little too close for the other's taste. "Don't be like that Vin," he said with a slight grin on his face as Vin scurried over to the other side of the car, "I'm sure we'll have fun. Plus it's a chance for us to get to know each other better."
The thought made Vincent twitch, though it wasn't nearly as bad as trying to actually get Cid to understand the fact that he wanted to be left alone to his thoughts. "Sounds like fun," He replied in a sarcastic tone of voice as he tried his hardest not to roll his eyes when the blonde looked pleased by his reaction. With another sigh he shifted his body so his face was towards the window and he was looking out at the sky; his blood-red eyes looking thoughtfully out at the stars.
Chills went down his spine when he realized that Cid was staring at him with a concerned look on his face. Staring, no matter what the cause of it, was defiantly one of the more annoying things a person could do. "What is it?" Vincent snapped after a few more moments, he was starting to feel uneasy from the stare and the concerned look. It made his stomach flutter a bit, though he wasn't sure why.
"Are you okay? You look troubled," the pilot stated softly, though it only made Vincent look more irritated then he had before. He hated people stating the obvious even more then when they stared at him. He let out a sigh and chose to ignore the question for the time being. The only problem with that is Cid's gaze didn't wander from him, even when the car had started to move.
In an attempt to ignore the blonde, Vincent tried to find the star consolations. Though, once he realized his mind kept wondering back to why in the world Cid wouldn't stop staring at him even though it was clear Vincent didn't want to talk, he gave up. "Fine," he spat beyond the point of just being annoyed, "I am troubled, but my problems are not of your concern, so that stupid puppy dog look on your face is not going to do you any good. I suggest you whip it of before I am forced to get violent."
A small smile couldn't help but creep across his lips when he saw the shocked look on Cid's face. It seemed the ground really didn't know Vincent as well as they thought they did. "Look Vin," the blonde started only to be cut off by, if possible, an even more annoyed raven-haired man.
"No, you look!" he shouted, his blood-red eyes darkening a bit, "I wanted to be alone to wallow in my own head for a while, until I figure some things out. I'm very emotional right now and since this doesn't happen very often I would like to spend this time alone. Now seeing how you ignored my request before, and didn't seem to get the hint when I didn't answer you question I'm going to say this to you as clearly as I can. Leave. Me. Alone." The last three words where said louder and slower then any of the others as to prove Vincent's point.
The blonde pilot didn't seem to respond to this outburst very well. This was so unlike Vincent. Usually he just sat around quietly, locked up inside his own head, only saying things when he was spoken to or when he felt the need to. Every time he had heard the raven-haired beauty speak it had been soft and enchanting but now, he was yelling at him. Cid really didn't know what to do. All he really had wanted to do, tried to do, was console a troubled friend.
His mind searched for words for a moment, but since there was none he decided to do something else that popped into his head. He reached out and wrapped his arms around the frustrated man before him, letting them hold him tightly. "I'm sorry, really. You have no idea how fucking sorry I am," he whispered, trying to be more sensitive when speaking then he normally was, though it didn't seem to be working that well for him, "but if something's troubling, at least talk to me. You never know if it's going to help."
"I can't…" Vincent muttered into Cid's ear, his body sinking into the strong arms. Thick lashes falling over blood-red eyes, "I just can't." He had calmed down a lot from the hug. It had seemed so unexpected. The embraced had calmed him down more by catching him off guard then anything else. Then Cid's words, they made Vincent want to cry. He felt bad for yelling at him before.
The realization that he was drowning hit him hard at that moment, it scared him too. Never before had he been afraid of drowning. He knew it was coming, and had welcomed it before. What had Cid done to make him realize that he really didn't want to drown? He couldn't understand it, and became even more afraid when felt a cool drop of water hit the top of his head.
End Notes:
Gomen ne, that really didn't turn out like I wanted it to, but it's basically got what I mean it to have. I hope that everyone enjoys it, even though it's pretty bad. I'll try and have a new chapter up soon if everyone wants more.