Basically, these are classic fairytales mixed with Naruto characters with drastic results. They're not supposed to follow the order of the fairytales, so expect the unexpected! First off, "Cinderella"! (P.S. You can request any fairytale! I'm planning to make a Hansel and Gretal one next!!) Oh, and sometimes if they're too long, they'll having a 2nd and possibly 3rd part.

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CINDERELLA PART I- STARRING THE EMO PRINCE AND A VERY BORED SHOGI MASTER.

Once upon some kind of time period unknown to even the narrator, there was the Emo Prince. The Emo Prince, also known as Sasuke, lived in a castle far too expensive to pay with Capital One. Not even MasterCard could cover the electric bill. The Emo Prince, tired of seeing his own royal blood being donated to the children's hospital, decided to hold some kind of "royal ball" in the dark and dainty crevices of his fancy domain.

Of course he was unmotivated, but his father was desperate to get rid of him, so he held this ball to find a wife for his very, very pale son.

"Shikamaru!" The Emo Prince called out to The Shogi Master. Shikamaru yawned, and came out his bedroom: the Emo Prince's bathroom. Shikamaru, being the Shogi Master of the land, played Go and other forms of stragetic and boring entertainment on the Prince's very scene toilet seat. Heck, remember the MasterCard bills? You'll get it soon enough.

"How bothersome," mumbled Shikamaru sleepily, wiping some tears from his eyes. Sasuke gave him a glare, and folded his lifeless arms across his chest. "What now, Emo Prin- Sasuke?"

"Shikamaru, my father is forcing me to go through this ball thing, so I'm ordering you to use your own TD Canada bank account to buy me a medium pepperoni pizza, and an Iced Cap Supreme from Tim Hortons."

The Shogi Master rolled his eyes so slowly and lazily that even the second hand on the clock went faster. "Yeah. See you later, Prince."

Meanwhile, in a cheap and creaky duplex bought with three chickens and a sashimi roll, lived Hinata (who's apparantly Cinderella in this version) and her stepfamily. Her stepfamily consisted of Barbie Girl Ino, The Pink Princess Sakura and The Drunken Mistress, Tsunade. The Drunken Mistress, having over 30oz. of sake already in the past ten seconds, was fairly tipsy, and was open for persuasion.

Barbie Girl and The Pink Princess did just that.

"Oh, Tsunade, " begged The Pink Princess earnestly. "Can we go to The Emo Prince's ball tonight?"

"No!" slurred Tsunade, holding a badly bent badminton racket. "You girls- I mean, I love panckakes, and if there's no pancakes, then I don't-"

The Pink Princess stomped her foot, and tutted off in a prude fashion. Barbie Girl Ino smiled for some odd reason, and said, "Well, we're still going!"

"Stupid kids." muttered Tsunade.

Meanwhile, Hinarella (I guess that would be her name) heard the entire conversation- that is, if you could call it a conversation. She sighed, for she wanted to go to the ball, but not to meet the Emo Prince. She'd rather go with Naruto, the servant boy next door, who sometimes stole their eggs and chickens from their backyard.

"Hinarella!" slurred Tsunade, tumbling out through the door. "I...am..so..." The Drunken Mistress then tripped on her own sake bottles, and collapsed to the floor. I mean, she went through the floor, since the sake had spilled all over those weak floorboards and had made it soft enough to beat through with a twig. Man, that's dangerous!

"...I...think I...need to see...my therapist..." Tsunade moaned. Hinarella stared at the wrecked floorboards, then slowly inched away. The Drunken Mistress would be fine.

At least, we would like to hope so.

Back at the castle, a knock came at the door. The royal butler, Sai, answered it. He gave that lucid grin to the visitor, Kakuzu. Kakuzu came from Gringott's Bank to collect the Emo Prince's enormous debt. Or, should we proclaim, emo-mous debt.

"Okay, the Emo Prince owes me over three hundred thousand dollars!" Kakuzu announced. "And if anyone cares, they'll come here right now before I repossess that lamp shade over there."

He pointed at a tatty lamp shade, carelessly thrown on the floor. Then, he pointed accusingly at Sai. "What are you smiling at, sonny?"

But Sai continued to smile. Eventually, Kakuzu shrugged, and waited until the ball started. Man, he must've stood for a long time!

That night, The Pink Princess and Barbie Girl had phoned a taxi to pick them up for the royal ball. The taxi driver, Jack Sparrow- I mean, Captain Jack Sparrow, held up his pistol, looking nervous. A large jar of dirt rested in the back seat.

"Don't touch my dirt!" said the captain. Sakura gave him a weird look before settling into the understuffed seats. She wore a puffy pink dress with puffy pink sleeves with a pink feather boa and greasy pink rain boots. Ino wore a T-shirt she had stolen from one of Green Day's concerts that said "GREEN DAY" on it. She also wore a stained Amy Lee styled frilly sort of long skirt that the singer might wear in her musci videos. 0o In her hair was a giant butterfly hairpin that weighed at least twenty pounds and was worth ten of the Emo Prince's castles. And one Shogi board.

While The Drunken Mistress was snoozing uncomfortably under the sake-soaked floorboards, Hinarella looked around anxiously, then tip-toed across the hall to the Drunken Mistress' Grande Master Suite. Loud banging was coming from the closet, and Hinarella tried to ignore it as she emptied the contents of Tsunade's sake bag to search for cash. Just then, the closet doors groaned as they gave away, and sagged to the floor. Out came Haku, sputtering and choking on cobwebs. Hinarella almost fainted, as she usually did.

Haku looked around, then ran across the Grande Master Suite, and jumped out the window. He fell into a row of thorny dry bushes below the window sill.

Don't worry, folks. He's okay.

"Get up, girl!" commanded an unfamiliar voice. Hinarella looked up. In front of her was a Fairy What's-Her-Name, aka Tenten. Tenten tapped her foot in the air, as she was floating an inch like a Fairy What's-Her-Name should. Her miniscule wings were beating faster than a dying hummingbird's heart, as Tenten's wings were so dang tiny that you could barely see them attached to the back of her white Chinese dress.

"Yo, I'm your Fairy What's-Her-Name!" bellowed Tenten, poking Hinarella in the head with her sparkly wand. "I've come to grant your wish! You want to go to the Emo Prince's ball, am I right?!"

"Umm, actually...no." Hinarella squeaked. "I want to marry the servant boy, Naruto, who steals our eggs and chickens. I want to live in D-Disney Land and meet Orlando Bloom."

"Hey, I'm a Fairy What's-Her-Name, not a miracle worker!" Tenten snapped. The Fairy What's-Her-Name waved her wand, and the sake bottles rolling around on the floor magically turned into four monster truck wheels.

"You're going to that dang ball in style!" Tenten shouted. "Otherwise, I'll get a pay cut if I don't help hopeless peasants like you!"

The Emo Prince twiddled his bloodless thumbs as he looked around impaitently. The Shogi Master, Shikamaru, was sitting in one of the chairs, playing Sudoku. He was so absorbed with this game that he failed to notice Kakuzu charging guests two hundred dollars for entry.

"Heh heh heh," snickered Kakuzu, fanning the green with such pride. "Soon, I'll convert this to Galleons and buy Knockturn Alley! It's the greatest plan ever!"

Nearby, Yondaime and Leader were discussing the latest episode of Young and the Restless. "Things are becoming quite interesting." said Leader, swishing his champagne around in its glass. Yondy nodded, and guzzled down the rest of his own drink.

"Yes, because Victor is gonna go Jet Li on Nikki's campaign manager..." he replied calmly. Just then, Yondy gave Leader a weird look.

"What, something on my holographic face?"

Yondy looked at his scuffed shoes uncomfortably. "Well, Leader, I was wondering about that paper bag on your head."

"What's wrong with it? I wrote 'Ser Lee-dar' on it properly. Does it make me look fat?"

"No, it's fine. Are you worried about the fans?"

Leader sighed deeply. "Well, until Kishimoto reveals that I'm NOT you and that I'm NOT Madara, then I'm stuck with this on my head."

Yondy shrugged. "They're never satisfied."

Over in the corner, Kishimoto and his younger brother, Seishi, had started a DDR competition. Everyone crowded around to see older and younger siblings battle across a series of glowing and repetitive while dancing to Love Love Shine.

Just then, a loud rumble exploded from outside. Kakuzu looked out the window in disgust. A huge moss green monster truck was parked outside, with a shadowy shadow of the driver in the mud-streaked window. The door opened ridicuously dramatic, and out popped Chouji, Road Master. The Road Master unzipped his very cool leather jacket, and produced a license to the bewildered bouncer at the front of the overly-priced doors.

"Fo shizzle, you know what I'm saying?" Chouji said quickly, doing a perfect impression of J-ROC. "I'm an escort for some oh-so-old-school shy shojo anime girl, ya dig?"

TO BE CONTINUED...

PART II COMING SOON!