well, first story. first chapter. a new writer. hai ! i just thought i'd get started on a fanfic & see where it takes me. well, hope you enjoy :3

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I could feel my body going numb. Everything seemed so cold. My eyes were firmly shut, and i intended to keep them that way. The only feeling left in my body, or on my body that is, was that of a girls lips sucking away at my neck. It took me a minute to grasp a hold of what was happening.

"Kairi..." I breathed.

"Nghh.." she replied, intensely concentrating on her only goal.

"Kairi!" i all but yelled.

"Stop moving!" She sounded as if she might cry. I had no choice.

I knew her pain, so i decided to act fast.

I shoved her off, stood up off the twin bed, grabbed my shirt, and without even turning around to show my expression, i said in a low voice, "He's not coming back." She knew what i meant. She didn't want me, she wanted him. More than anything..and so did I. "He never will." I finished. And with that, i stepped out, and slammed the door almost too hard. I soon fell to my knees, and started sobbing myself. I was a wreck. I had nothing. No one to care for, and no one to care for me back. Life was basically over. I had nothing left. I knew so little. I am so little. After a few unmanly minutes, i got back to my feet and forced them to move along the pavement, and walk myself back to my lament apartment. I couldn't stay in Sora's house. It would be so...so...lonely. I would rather stay anywhere than there.

I walked the few blocks until i stood at my destination. I reached my hand into my pocket and fumbled with the small silver piece to unlock my door.

As soon as i was inside, the thoughts i was trying to hide back were now starting to scream in my head.

"You were right..." i sighed.

It's been six months since Sora faded. One of his last sentences still stung at my heart.

"you're what's left of me, but that doesn't mean you have to be me."

But who am i to kid? Sora and i have been together longer than we even knew. Who i was didn't matter. When him and i were rejoined that last time i wasn't a nobody anymore. I was Sora. I've lost all memory of who i was, and replaced them with who he is. I've seen everything through his eyes. I've felt everything he feels. But i cant care like he does. It's like I'm his shadow. I follow as an identical image, but i show no detail or emotion. I can't love like he does, and i learned that tonight with Kairi. I thought if i connected with her, i could be like Sora. Nothing was going my way...

My thoughts started to get thinner as my head started surrendering into slumber. Everyone says sleep is where you dream, but i don't dream. And when i do, I'm at the beach under a full moon. It's peaceful; the dark always is.

As my head started fogging up, all i could see was a red blur... and green?

"Christmas....." i smiled. And then it was gone. I was gone.