CHEMFETS ARE EVERYWHERE

Happy easter everybody.

Have some conspiracy theories, courtesy of David Tai.

Whip was in a hurry. She had an -important- concert that she absolutely had to be at. It was, after all, her release outlet - something Seirah could enjoy and just hang out. An opportunity to take a break from being a Soldier, and to just be a girl.

The problem was, she had an unwanted tagalong who was -busy- talking about her latest NESTS investigation. She trotted along behind Whip, her strange too-big hair and enormous eyeball ornaments bouncing up and down. She really was quite a particular sight to behold.

She babbled in Whip's ear. Whip gritted her teeth and smiled the most painful smile she had ever pulled off.

"... and NESTS is busy putting chemfets into the water. If they activate, they swap bodies. BOW! ZAP! SWAP!"

Whip groaned. She -wanted- to help the ex-NESTS people find a new life, but there were some people that were really difficult to help.

Sylvie Paula Paula was one of those. She was the textbook example of 'failed NESTS experiment' and had never worked out quite right. She was strong, yes. She had all the powers that were built into her… but there was something wrong with the circuits in her brain. Well, perhaps not -wrong-, just… not normal.

Whip had tried helping her along by passing her missions that were too minor for IKARI to deal with. Or otherwise too nutty. Leaving her to sit around and marinate in her own craziness was possibly the worst thing for her. She needed to be out and about, doing something.

What she failed to reckon with, however, was the insanity that had rubbed off on her during her long stay with the NESTS scientists. That bunch were renown for both their strangeness and their genius, and Sylvie seemed to have inherited a bit of both.

Whip was never quite sure where Sylvie came up with all of her crazy premonitions. A world-ending threat in NeoGeo Battle Coliseum? As if…! Still, Sylvie did her -best- to fight NESTS… or whatever remained of it, among other things. Sometimes the threats she came up with -were- real, if possibly over-exaggerated. Whip had concluded the girl just had a fondness for conspiracy theories.

"I mean, If you somehow got chemfet-infested… do you want to see Iori as Miss X? And then there's Terry Bogard with Mai-boobs!"

Whip came to a stop and exhaled forcefully before turning to study Sylvie's mismatched eyes. They were perfectly earnest. Perfectly sincere. She believed every word she was saying.

And that was exactly what Whip was afraid of. Was Sylvie chasing reality or fantasy? Had she resigned herself to craziness? Given up on reality? It was hard to say… but so far evidence was pointing toward the latter.

The problem was, Sylvie was anchored enough in reality that she -did- turn out to be quite useful in dealing with things that IKARI wouldn't even touch, even with her inferiority complex. Even if Whip had to defend the former NESTS experiment to Heidern.

There was a tense silence. Whip did her absolute best to not let 'flabbergasted' show on her face as she turned to looked at her companion again.

"Look, Sylvie, I'm sure if there were chemfets in the water, it'd be very bad. So, please, take some time off and investigate it as you like," Whip responded - her voice terse.

Sylvie thought that was a fantastic idea and her expression lit up. She clapped her hands and began bouncing more rigorously.

"All right! But don't I get backup...? What about that cute rocklet, can I rent him again? Maybe I'll get his fingerprints this time."

"NO!" That denial came out much less orderly than Whip would have liked. She tried to regain her composure. "He's mine. I've got business with him. I need him playing in that concert!"

"Hmph hmph hmph... your danger level's rising. You should just let it all out with Rockling. Like, the Big Bang!"

Whip rubbed the corners of her eyes. She was already regretting this. "I'll see if I can find someone..."

"Unleash the happiness with Bedrock!"

"I meant find someone to help you with your investigation!"

Rock was fine-tuning his guitar and trying studiously to ignore the not-very-inconspicuous blonde broomhead that was snooping around. While he was pretty damn familiar with Benimaru Nikaido and thusly didn't think of him as paparazzi, Rock Howard was sure that whatever was going on, he didn't -want- any part in it.

Just... ignore the weird. Let crazy deal with crazy…

Rock Howard didn't know why Benimaru had showed up. Apparently he and the boss had some bad history, and… well… whatever it was, he didn't to get involved or otherwise attract any trouble. He eyed the strangely dressed blonde man out of the corner of his eye and hoped he had come for -Iori-, and that the band leader would take care of the matter as soon as he got back from instructing the sound mixer just -how- that bass was supposed to be adjusted.

That 'weird' is for boss… just leave it…

"PEBBLES!"

Rock startled and whipped around. He spied Seirah and Sylvie making their way over to him. Ok, this was his brand of 'weird'.

"Seirah!... and… Sylvie… " Rock's greeting was hesitant, his expression wary as he tried to figure out just what -that- particular duo wanted this time.

Seirah smiled, for a brief instant, before her face hardened a bit. "Sorry, Howard," Whip replied. "I picked up an unexpected visitor. She's been talking to me about all kinds of NESTS conspiracies and insisted on telling me all about the ones she's paranoid about."

"It's not paranoia if they're out to get you," Sylvie insisted. "The chemfets are everywhere."

Whip smiled blandly and gently patted Sylvie on the shoulder. "Look, just... Howard, can you watch her for a minute? I'd like to use the restroom... alone." I need a bit of time to get my head together, her gaze implored.

"Um, ok," Rock responded. "I get it, I get it."

"Watch out for the toilet paper that has no perforations! They're -infested- with chemfets!" Sylvie called back, before looking back at Rock with mismatched eyes. "Hey Rubble, did you know there's a brushroom lurking behind the potted plant?"

Brushroo-... ah.

"Yeah, that's Benimaru. He's looking for something. Dunno what..." Rock didn't even look up, re-focusing his attention on calibrating his guitar strings and pinging them to make sure they were tuned. He didn't need Iori going ballistic today. He could only deal with one crazy at a time.

"Oh, okay!"

What Benimaru Nikaido was seeking was an explanation. Somehow… somehow Iori Yagami, after years of utter and mutual hatred, was on good terms with Kyo Kusanagi - seemingly out of the blue. Recently Benimaru had become suspicious his best friend had become romantically involved with that red-haired idiot!... and his 'love quest' demanded he uncover whatever witchcraft Iori had employed to win Kyo's affections.

… affections that, but right, belonged to him and him alone.

You're destined to be with me Kyo… you just need to realize that Iori's been deceiving you…

A little fame-handling, a little glad-handling, and Benimaru was able to gain access to the backstage, where he immediately began snooping around. What he hadn't expected was someone surprising him out of nowhere.

How did I not notice someone dressed in such lurid colors?

"There's room for only one electric cutie here, and that's me! You're being naughty, Broomhead!"

Benimaru looked disdainfully at the NESTS girl.

"What are -you- doing here? Shoo, shoo. Go away. I've got important things do."

"Like what, inspecting the potted plant for signs of chemfets infection? That's my job!"

Benimaru huffed and planted his hands on his hips.

"No, I... chemfets?"

"Chemfets! They're everywhere. NESTS uses them for -everything-."

"Um... what're chemfets?"

"You don't know?" Sylvie looked at the taller man disapprovingly, before wagging a finger. "Chemfets are..."

She proceeded to launch into a long technobabble that Benimaru could only keep up partly with. Something about chemicals, alteration of RNA, delivery mechanisms, and...

"Are you saying chemfets can alter people's personalities?"

"That's one of the things they can do! They also camp out on these little aglets in your shoes so that they can proceed to feast on the chemicals that produce your body scents, which is why you can't smell them even though other people can!"

... That -could- explain a lot about Kyo and Iori.

"Say, uh, how would we go about looking for these things..."

"Oh. You gonna help me? YAY!" Sylvie waved her hands, the eyeballs bobbling with each arm motion. "You can help me prepare!"

"Where's Sylvie?" Seirah asked, seeing that Rock was completely involved with his guitar practice, and not at all watching Sylvie.

Rock looked up then looked around rapidly. "Uh... I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. I think she was talking to someone and then they just left."

"Oh no."

"It was Benimaru Nikaido."

Whip considered that. What did she know about him…

Rock shrugged. "Let crazy deal with crazy… speaking of which, Seir-"

His sentence was cut short as he was promptly bitchslapped off his stool.

What preparations Benimaru expected, he didn't know. But he never expected...

"What are we doing in Southtown, Sylvie?"

Somehow, one way or the other, Sylvie had managed to convince Benimaru to fly them down to Southtown. They had broken into Iori's apartment and were currently making a mess of his belongings.

"We're spraying for chemfets, BRUSHROOM! If you want to find out if your friend's been chemfeted, then we're going to test him with SHOCK AND BUZZ! And we start with his apartment where one of the chemfet infestations was!"

"Shock... and... buzz..."

"That's right! SHOCK AND BUZZ!"

Sylvie is coming out to be one of my faves... Hopefully David will write her more.

As per usual, please direct all compliments to him - wheter it be via FF PM, or Discord.