Today was not a running day. There was no freedom today, not when thoughts clouded him like this. Winter blistered in the towns below him as he soared through the skies, but he soon found rest on a branch overlooking the dark night. He thrived in cold, finding refuge in the north since well, 300 years ago. Winter only came once a year, and Jack made sure it began early and lasted for as long as he could make it.
He creation was never this large, but he didn't want to be seen by the children today. Today, he wanted to be invisible, an idea he thought he'd never wish for. His iced blue eyes stared at his frost-bitten hooded sweatshirt. Then to his staff as he hung one leg over the branch and allowed it to dangle there.
Sighing, for the first time in 300 years, he noticed unlike the kids, he couldn't see his breath in the air. Of course, he was Jack Frost, but tonight, that disturbed him some. Now that he knew who he'd been, he wished the clock could turn back and he could see his sister again. He'd saved her, but he couldn't swim. Water was a problem, but not anymore. Jack thought of family, and once in a while, he'd sit and wonder about what happened to him.
Becoming Jack Frost seemed such a blind notion to him then, and now it meant so much more. His core was fun, but tonight he wondered about his sister. How had she turned out? Did she marry? Did she have any children of her own? Jack knew he'd never find out. The best he could do was freeze time, and even that was forbidden by a guardian's oath. He could not freeze time, but he never wanted to because that would never change anything for him.
His ivory hair tickled at his ears as the winds tugged at him, as though attempting to cheer him up. However, nothing seemed to work. This was a slump, and a depressing slump at that. Some days, he thought about trying to find his body, his human body, but he didn't even know if that would be possible.
Of course, Jack never talked to anyone about this. It was too personal for anyone else to know. Tooth never shared her life before she became the tooth fairy, neither did North, or even that Easter Bunny. He tried to make a point to ask North about the bodies though, trying the think of a way to bring up the subject in which he would not come across as disturbed psychologically.
Jack accepted his role as a guardian, accepted his presence to the children, who he was, and that there was nothing that could be done to change that. Once in a while though, the thoughts were inevitable. It wouldn't have surprised him if someone said he suffered from depression, what with all the knowledge these days he lived in.
Always being the fun one seems fine and all...
A sigh escaped his lips again, and Jack stared up at the moon, hoping for an answer. As usual, there wasn't one. Maybe in another 300 years, he thought, a little joke to himself really.
A little whisk went by, temporarily distracting him. It was a fairy of Tooth's, more teeth to deliver, as usual. Jack thought that perhaps he could slow down for a little while. He flew back to the north pole, where he stayed with Santa now. Things were a little different for Santa. He had Mrs. Claus to keep him company and the Yetis and even the elves. Jack felt like an outcast sometimes, but the shelter was nice. He no longer had to be alone all the time.
In his room, he'd stored his old clothes he'd kept from over the years. The holes were patched with ice and colored accordingly, but he'd kept the pieces in rather fine condition. He threw them on quickly, remembering them and the times he had. With the staff back in his right hand, he was about to head back out...
"Oh Jack!" Mrs. Claus chirped from outside his room. "I'm glad I caught you. Would you like a cookie?"
Jack had already eyed the plate she'd been holding, seeing that she'd made them only minutes ago. Warm food didn't bother him too much he'd found out, but he just didn't eat that often. Hot chocolate was a definite disaster for him however. If he even had a sip of that stuff, he got sick the next day and since he'd been living at the north pole, he understood how North had gained so much weight. This woman spoiled the man rotten!
"Sure," Jack always found he could never refuse one of Mrs. Claus's homemade Christmas cookies. He took the star from the batch, and took a bite to feel the softness almost melting into his mouth. She knew how he liked them.
"Thanks," he told her. Mrs. Claus saw something different in his eyes, but she couldn't say anything about the matter. He never talked about it, and he told her once to just leave it alone. Though she'd listened to him, she still worried for him.
His slumps had become far closer than ever to her. Jack seemed to be out all the time to her. Whenever there was a clear night, he slid along the ice he'd conjure and then she wouldn't see him again for a few days. North claimed to see him on a few occasions, but Mrs. Claus never missed Jack when he was in the house. She could just sense his presence. She knew when he was gone and she suspected of her husband to cover for Jack a time or two...or three or four.
"Jack!" Someone was calling to him and since it wasn't Mrs. Claus, the only person left was...
"Yes, Santa?" Jack asked, halting his skidding and sliding.
"Again?"
"What again?"
"Going out this late?" Santa asked. Jack put his left hand in his pocket and nodded. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. I just-I just need to think alone is all," Jack told Santa.
"No no, tell ol' Santa what bothers you," Santa said. "The missus is starting to question methinks."
Jack sighed, turning away. "You wouldn't understand."
"Aw come now!" North boasted. "I've lived here far longer than you. You can tell me."
Another sigh. Jack knew something like this should be coming sooner than later.
"How did Mrs. Claus take it when you told her you were a Guardian?" His back was still to North.
North pondered the question carefully before concocting a response. Stroking his beard, Santa found a string of words that just might work.
"She didn't care so much," North told Jack. "She just wanted to be where I was."
"So...was she..." North knew where this was going.
"Yes. She was not a part of the chosen immortals like us," North confessed. "She came from Germany, I think. Yes, that's right, and she saw me one night. Usually it was the children I had to put back to sleep, but just as I placed the last present under the tree, there she was. The dust wouldn't work on her at all!"
Santa began to laugh at the memories.
"So, I snuck back down to see her a few times during the weekdays. She promised not to tell on me if I did that, so I did. And then one day, she decided she wanted to be with me. We fell in love and I brought her to the north pole with me and told her I was a guardian. She understood of course, with the whole factory and toy thing... Why the sudden curiosity?"
"I was just wondering," Jack said. "So, she believed her whole life. How did you change her...to be like us?"
"I didn't," Santa said. "The moon did when we married. She became immortal, just like all of us. It was fun day."
Jack turned, and there was clearly something troubling about the boy.
"Why you upset?" North asked, going to comfort the boy, but Jack refused. He took his staff and glazed North's hand with ice.
The message was clear enough: Jack Frost was used to being alone, and he still didn't trust any of them, no matter how he used to marvel at them.
"Okay," North's warm hand melted the ice as he rubbed it. "Message received. Then what is it you want?"
"You have Mrs. Claus, Tooth is far to busy for anything, Easter Bunny was made to run solo, and Sandy, well I don't think he really cares if..." Jack lost his speech and shook his head sharply away.
"Jack...you saying you want...You want love?" North exclaimed.
Frost looked up.
"I don't know," he replied, walking around the shop Santa was currently working in.
"Love is warm feeling," North said, as though to warn. "It is...possible?"
"I don't know!" Jack snapped, whipping the staff diagonally in front of him until it hung behind him.
North then noted his ancient clothing.
"Why you wear those?" North asked.
"Doesn't matter!" Jack exclaimed. "Say, say I could, say I could find someone? It couldn't kill me right?"
"No, I think not. Ask the moon."
"The moon won't answer me."
"Hm...I dunno," North was giving up. Jack's breathing had grown a little rushed as he turned to leave.
"If you do, look for someone who doesn't mind the cold!" Santa called. Jack's eyes rolled, and he flew off into the night, or rather, early morning.