Sisterly Hatred

by Lauranthalsala

One night, while Sirius is swinging from the Whomping Willow. James and Lily have a talk.

Sisterly Hatred

By: Lauranthalsala

Cheers! This is probably one of the only stories that I've ever actually finished… I'm lazy like that. You know those people, who get ideas, amazing ideas, wonderful, entrancing ideas… and never actually manage to finish what they'd originally planned to write? Yeah, I'm one of those people… :P

By the way, I'm one of those freaks who doesn't have internet at home... so I'm probably not gonna post anything really quickly... although... at a interview a few days ago... my guardian may have been convinced! Hope is not obselete!!! Yay! Sorry, ignore me, it's just--years of internet-less suffering has gotten to me :P

Enjoy!

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"Lily! Lily!" a small, scrawny little girl called out to her younger sister, "Don't do that! Mommy said not to!"

I glanced over at Petunia, slightly annoyed that she would be disturbing my fun. Severus had already told me that I was a witch and therefore, I was generally safer in doing things like running on the ice than normal people.

"Relax, Petunia," I called, still slightly touched at my sister's concern, "I'm not gonna fall, trust me on this one, okay?"

"But…" she glanced at my frozen figure and for just a moment, a look of such… loathing crossed her face, my heart stopped, "Fine."

I looked up, ready to apologize just in time to see my sister slip as she turned around and her pink and white striped scarf flutter off of her neck. I ran. Who wouldn't have? My heart pounded in my throat and I felt some sort of energy building up inside of me until I couldn't take it anymore. I let it go…

All of a sudden, flowers were blooming around me, the snow and ice gone, Petunia was upright and the scarf she'd dropped was back around her neck, tied in a neat bow and cleaner than clean. She looked at me, watching as I, now depleted of my energy began to fall… she didn't come after me. I fell, and as the world began to turn black, the last thing I saw was my sister, who turned her back on me and walked away.

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I sat up, glancing around groggily, my face masking the anxiety I felt inside. I remembered that incident like it was yesterday instead of six years ago. That was the day that I first realized that my very own flesh and blood might not love me the way I loved her. That she hated me for some unfathomable reason and I was scared. I was really scared that someday Petunia would cut me off altogether. That was the day before I'd left for my first year at Hogwarts… that was the day that Petunia had ignored me and we'd never been able to talk it out since.

I just didn't understand, a few weeks after Severus had told me that I was a witch Petunia had written to Dumbledore, I knew it! I saw the letter and I saw his reply. Yet, she tells me, every holiday, every summer that I'm a freak, that the people I hang out with are freaks and that she wishes that I was never born. She's my sister though; I don't understand how she could think that? I know it's kind of stupid but… would my parents ever begin to think like that too?

"Evans?" a squeaky voice asked.

I groaned, I knew this voice like I knew the back of my hand, even when it was high-pitched and girly. The person that the voice belonged to was generally as welcome as a wart between my toenails.

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing, chill girl, I was just wondering why you were up so late." James Potter said, sounding strangely like a girl.

I laughed.

"What's with the voice?" I asked.

"Oh, that," James squeaked, "Sirius got hold of some helium and told me that it was the newest see-through soda from Burkes, untested, and that Burkes would pay whoever tested it 1 galleon. Naturally I jumped at the idea and now I sound like this."

I laughed some more, "and where is poor Sirius now?"

"Dangling from a tree," he said, nonchalantly, or at least, what would pass for nonchalantly if it weren't for his helium altered voice.

"Really…. Do you mind my asking which tree?"

"For you, Evans? Anything."

"Just tell me, Potter."

"Errmmm…. Well it's actually the… Whomping Willow," he said, fully expecting admonishment from me.

Again I laughed; Potter was being uncharacteristically funny this night. Maybe I was dreaming, but for just tonight, James actually seemed okay.

"I should probably let him down, ne? But I made sure that the Willow wasn't in one of its twitchy moods…"

"No, leave him," I said dryly. After all, Black did dump ink on Alice today…. James executed a perfect double take and stumbled over the edge of the carpet. "What the hell is wrong with you, Evans? Are you on sugar quills or something? You generally aren't this…. Tolerant."

"Ah…" I sobered up, "that is…"

I'd just caught the beginning of a scrutinizing glance from James when, ashamed, I looked back down.

"What's wrong, Evans?" James' asked, his high, squeaky voice sympathetic.

"Nothing…"

"Do you really think I'm that stu—don't answer that. Evans—no, Lily, you're up at 3 in the morning… which really isn't all that late for me, I'm always sneaking around. On the other hand you're… you! You're brilliant, you're absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, and I challenge anyone who dares to disagree… and anyone who does agree for that matter. You are one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest, most compassionate girls I know, not to mention in a few years you'll be prime candidate for prefect and then Head Girl. People like that generally don't stay up sitting on a sofa in the dorm room, staring at a dying fire unless something's really bothering them."

I blushed. "James Potter, you really are one for compliments aren't you… dratted charmer."

He flashed me a cocky grin, "Naturally," he said, "How else do you think I avoid getting expelled most of the time?"

"Good point," I sighed.

"Now are you going to tell me or not? Otherwise, I'll be forced to excuse myself and release Black from the throes of the Whomping Willow, and I REALLY don't want to do that."

I shot him an annoyed glare.

"Did you eat something that disagreed with you Potter? You aren't ever this sensible normally."

"You lie, I'm always sensible. I just hide that sensibility with a much more efficient mask of stupidity."

"You really are one of the most—"

"Handsome, charming, witty?" he interjected.

"—arrogant people I know."

"Aww, and here I thought you were going to shoot me down! Now stop changing the subject Evans, you're wasting valuable time here, and Sirius' is getting more and more stupid by the second."

"James…" I ceded, "you don't know what it's like being a muggleborn do you?"

"Nope," he said frankly, "and to me, there's not a single bloody difference. Heck, you're muggle-born, aren't you? And you could probably kick my scrawny arse with a simple expelliarmus at any second."

"True, that, "I smirked at him, "but you still probably can't understand—at all, what it's like to be one. You're a "pure blood" one that comes from a line of "purebloods" that would do what's-his-name, Voldemort? proud."

"Pshaw, you're making me blush," he said, deadpan.

"You're mom probably dotes on you, your father is probably dead proud of you, and yet, you're still one of the worst troublemakers in the school… anyway, my point is, do you know what it would feel like if someone you loved dearly loathed you with all they had?"

He gave her a look, "Darling, I feel it everyday."

I blushed again. "James--," I began.

"It's fine, continue," the look had faded and again James' face was one of sympathetic interest.

"Well, my sister—"

"Petunia?"

"Well, yes," I said, wondering how he knew that, "there was a time, a long, long time ago, where we were close, in fact we were that close up until age eight."

"Why? What happened then?"

"Severus happened." I mumbled.

"Snivellus??!!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, back then, he lived down the street from me, in this creepy black house and sometimes, you heard rumors of it. A crying woman, a drunken man, every once in a while, you'd see the woman come out of the house, for groceries, her face a blotchy blue, the man could be seen everyday down at some pub or another and there was a boy, a boy who was never seen."

"Snivellus" James squeaked, as he tried to hiss out the name.

"Yes, Severus," I said, glaring at him pointedly, "he was a quiet boy at the time, and once… once I was on a swing, swinging so high, dreaming, hoping, wishing that some how, if I just swung high enough, I could fly. Petunia came running at me, telling me that it was dangerous, shouting how our mother told us never to do that. I laughed and I told her to watch, I wanted to prove to her that I could fly. I let go, and I flew, for just a moment, I flew through the air, excitement pooling in my stomach and I touched down onto the ground, light as a feather. Gracefully, one might even say."

James shook himself free from an awed look, "Boy, Evans," he said dryly, "you have a way with words."

"Thanks," I grinned, "Anyway, Petunia burst into tears, telling me how I should never do that again and how I shouldn't be able to do that and how she was going to tell mommy and I would get into so much trouble and just how did I do that? I was still smiling, unsure of why she was yelling at me when there was a rustling behind us, we turned and there was this little scrawny boy telling us that I could fly because I was a witch."

James just glanced at me, "You knew Severus before you knew me?"

I glanced at him, moderately surprised; then again, James Potter never had much of a memory anyway… "Why, yes, don't you remember the first day, on the Hogwarts Express? We were in the same compartment… until you insulted Snape."

James just stared at me, not understanding… "Ah, never mind." I mumbled.

"At first, I was insulted, in the muggle world, calling someone a witch isn't exactly a good thing," I continued, "but, as Severus began to explain things to me I started to understand what he meant and I was entranced. So, it seemed, was my sister. I drifted away from her, I'm ashamed now, but at the time, Severus' stories of gold galleons, dancing leprechauns and golden snitches was so much more interesting than just hanging out with a plain older sister who never did anything. Severus and I, we were the best of friends, at the time, heck, he once even told me that being muggle-born didn't matter—I know better know." I scoffed.

"Lily," James snapped, now he looked angry, and interestingly enough, his voice was just a tad lower now, "I hate it when people say that. Oh, I'm muggle-born, I'm a mudblood, I couldn't possibly amount to anything because purebloods are supposedly that much more naturally talented, talented my ass. Sirius can't do crap, Remus is a bloody we- never mind, but he isn't a pureblood either, he's prime candidate for Head Boy next year and he's the prefect this year. Peter? He has talent but he squashes it under his meekness, the only thing that Sirius and I are good for is hexing people, and that'll get us no where in life. I'm not gonna say it again, what I said earlier, and if you say something like that one more time, I'll assume you're fishing for compliments and tell the school that you're nothing but a stuck-up prick who can't get her head out of her arse."

"… I'll just assume that made some sense." I said, amused at his antics.

"Good. Now continue, remember Lily, no one cares if you're muggle-born, heck, I'd rather be muggle-born, they're so much more interesting anyway."

"But the Slythe-"

"That's what I mean by NO ONE, now continue."

Bemused, I returned to my storyline, "Anyway, a few months before I started Hogwarts I was meandering down the hallway, heart in my throat, hoping that I didn't need to know any fancy spells or something as an entrance exam to get into Hogwarts when I happened across my sister's room. I glanced in to see the rim of a Hogwarts parchment in the wastebasket. Curious I snuck in and lifted it out. Turns out, my sister had written to Dumbldore, pleading to be let into Hogwarts. I swear, I could feel my heart break right then when I saw Dumbledore's reply, he was kind, but firm and looking out the window, I could see my sister, fists clenched staring at a wooden pole, suddenly she started running and running, down the block and back up again, as fast as she could. She changed after that. She was snippy and snide and never gave me the time of day. She called me a freak and said that Hogwarts was a school that only freaks could get into. She told me that my friends were freaks and that no one normal would ever want to talk to me and she said that she couldn't understand why our parents loved me so much. She swore to me, in my face that once we grew up, she would make sure that never again would she be forced to interact with me."

My heart was breaking again, I knew it was, I could feel my restraint slipping and James was standing there, looking at me, his face impassive.

"Lily…" he began.

I cut him off, my voice was breaking but I had to continue, telling someone, it really felt so good. "And every summer, every winter, every time I was ever home, she would be there, behind my parents, glaring at me, conveying her hate to me. Whenever she had the chance there was always snide comments and mutterings of how freaky I was… and I thought… am I really that unusual? When you think about it, the majority of the people here are actually half bloods and pureblood mixtures, or at least in some part of their lineage there was a magician or two, there aren't that many actual "mudbloods" and maybe, I am just a freak. Maybe my parents think that too and maybe, eventually, some day, they'll see that and they'll be like Petunia, they'll hate me and scorn me and I just won't understand! How can my very own sister, my sister! Hate me so much? She was born but a few years before me, she looks just like me, she's pretty, she's smart and she's my older sister! I looked UP to her, I always thought that we'd be close, at 8 years, at 9, at 10 and even 'till we were 92 and toothless, I thought we'd always be friends. I remember we even promised! Why does she hate me? Why? James, tell me! Why?!"

I stood panting as the first tear rolled down my cheek.

For a moment, we stared at each other and he took a step forward, I took a step forward—and suddenly I was running. He spread his arms and I was running into them, burying my head in his broad shoulder, wrapping my arms around his neck and sobbing my heart out. His hands were around my waist and pulling me to him as my hands buried in his rat's nest of an excuse for hair. There we stood, he letting me cry on him and me crying as hard as I could… for the longest, sweetest time.

"Lily…. Lily… oh… Lily," he murmured, "It's okay, it's really okay… let it out, just cry, I bet you haven't cried like this since…ever."

I nodded, still crying, unable to speak. He held me tighter, burying his head in my hair.

Eventually, I calmed down, slowly untangling myself from him, I could feel his reluctance in letting me go, I rubbed my eyes and I could feel their blotchiness. I laughed, so extremely embarrassed it wasn't even funny.

"Well, that was sufficiently awkward, I'll just be… going now," I mumbled to the ground as I began to make a hasty exit.

"Wait," James said, his voice was normal now, just how long had we been standing there? "Evans… thanks."

I was shocked. "Thanks? Me? What for?!"

He blushed! "For… confiding in me, I guess. Just… thanks Evans, and don't worry. Your parents will never hate you. Just like your sister doesn't actually hate you. She's actually just jealous, without knowing why, she will help you if you ever do need it… she just can't stomach the fact that you're something that she so desperately wants to, but will never be."

I stared at him, my heart was picking itself up, piece by piece, and with every piece that was picked up, some more blood flooded into my face. "… Thanks Potter. You know what? I do think that you're right." I flashed him a smile and walked away.

I tiptoed into my room closing the door as lightly as I could, without waking any of my mates, a feat to be proud of. I snuck into bed and pulled the sheets up, tightly around me. Staring at the dark ceiling, I felt a wave of giddiness envelope me and slowly, I fell asleep, dreaming of strong arms holding me and a wave of heartfelt relief.

The next morning, the entire common hall was greeted by colorful curses and random bursts of laughter. Stepping into the Grand Hall to see what all the commotion was about, I was greeted by a red-faced, handsome and drowsy Sirius Black, running around chasing a half-clad James (a sight truly worth waking up so early for) running around. Hexes bouncing off walls as Sirius, with his uncharacteristically horrible aim, shot them at James, shouting curses all the while.

"JAMES POTTER! I'LL KILL YOU. HANGING ME UPSIDE DOWN ON THE BLOODY WHOMPING WILLOW ALL NIGHT!! I'LL NEVER WALK PROPERLY AGAIN!!! YOU GET BACK HERE!!!!! JAMES!!!!"