September 25, 2005
Courage: In the Face of
A Different Kind of Fear
Six thirty in the morning.
The sound of clanging pots and pans accompanied by hollered orders drift up the stairs and awaken a young teenager with long brown hair and matching brown eyes. The girl is accustomed to just such wake up calls, her parents owning a ramen shop down stairs.
Rubbing her eyes, Keiko Yukimura sits up in bed. Today would probably be just like any other day. She'd get up, dress in her blue sailor girl uniform, walk to school, and find Yusuke's desk empty once again. And then between classes she would climb up the stairs to the roof to find the juvenile delinquent popping candy into his mouth, or laying with his hands behind his head watching the clouds. Then, being the class representative and responsible for the punk, she would reprimand him and probably be forced to slap him like always.
Some would call this courage. A polite, quiet, responsible, straight "A" student like Keiko, standing up to the number one street fighter in all of the district. Unlikely, but true. All her classmates were scared of the notorious Yusuke Urameshi, number one punk of Sarasaki Middle School. Rumor has it he defeated all the punks in the district, and has 2,000 men under his command. Hah, how Keiko laughed at that. The boy could hardly command two people, much less 2,000. The rumors were all wrong.
Climbing out of bed, Keiko pulls out her school uniform. But instead of finding the familiar blue uniform of Sarasaki Middle School, she finds the dull green uniform of Daiichi's School for Girls in its place . Suddenly Keiko remembers she isn't in middle school anymore more. No, it's her second year of high school. Two years after her boyfriend Yusuke was revealed to be a demon.
Well, part demon at least.
It wasn't publicly known, at least not to the human population. But the inhabitants of Demon World were definitely informed.
And that made Yusuke dangerous.
When he had told her he was a demon she had not been afraid of him. No, she had known about demons for quite some time. She had even stayed in a hotel full of them for a week. Been attacked by them twice and saved just as many times by other inhuman creatures. This took strength of will, to face down demons where most would be afraid. But demons aren't allowed to kill humans while in the Ningenkai, the Human World. And this knowledge made staying among them easy.
Even so, they had said that because Yusuke was only part demon, his now awakened demon blood would take over and change him. He was no longer human, but a demon waiting to be freed. They said he wouldn't be the same anymore.
But Keiko had never feared Yusuke.
Not then, not now, not ever.
You could call it courage, staying loyal to a childhood friend, somebody you love and care for, after discovering they are not what they appeared to be. But why fear someone for whom you risked your own life to save from a fire? No, there was nothing courageous about associating with this demon. Yusuke had never hurt her. Ever. Even after he became a demon.
What's more, the association with this demon came with external risks. There was always the chance of being kidnapped by her boyfriend's enemies, threatened in order to control Yusuke's actions, and even killed to enrage his fighting spirit.
There was an aspect of danger in everything Yusuke did.
He had responsibilities in Demon World, being the descendant of one of the three overlords of Makai. It was because of this that he had left for Demon World two years ago, to learn about his heritage and find the missing part of the puzzle that he had been looking for all his life.
With the news of his leaving came the usual squabbles the two usually faced on a day to day basis. Actually, not quite so usual. On Yusuke's part the story never changed, he was still joking and goofing off, trying to win her over. But the knowledge that he might never return had made Keiko cold.
Comments of how she would have a new boyfriend when and if he ever returned had accented their last conversations. Especially after Yusuke once again proposed to her the night before he left. He had promised that he'd return after three years, by his eighteenth birthday. And then he wanted for them to get married. After a moment of silence, Keiko responded that she wasn't sure how her new boyfriend would like that.
Despite these words, Keiko never did get a new boyfriend. Her thoughts still on Yusuke. Even with the risks that came with this loyalty. Danger to herself was moot to her. She still loved him. She didn't care that that might mean being attacked at any given moment. Such thoughts didn't scare her.
What did scared her was summed up in one question she had asked him the day before he had left.
"Can you come back?"
His answer was not reassuring in the least. "Sure, maybe." Even with his later amendment to find a way back for sure after three years, the thought still scared her. It would plague her mind if she let it.
What would happen if he died? What if he got himself killed?
Again.
The first time it had taken preserving his body and kissing him to bring him back. The second time he was resurrected by his demon blood. But if he was killed now, there was nothing that could bring him back. No exceptions for valiantly saving some kid from a car that would have only nicked the kid in the first place. No new found demon strength to keep him alive. There were still others who could best him, stronger demons than he had ever met, living in the depths of the Makai.
He could die, and she would never know.
Few things kept her going when these thoughts passed through her mind. The emotional risk involved with staying loyal to Yusuke weighed more heavily than any bodily harm that could ever be inflicted upon herself. It was torture.
But she had faith. And she was loyal to her love.
Yet there was something else as well.
Loyalty helped her continue to love this demon. Loyalty to take the risks involved in loving him. Faith to take the chance that he could never come back. And it took all her faith not to give up on him. Still, compared to this other feeling, faith and loyalty had no hold. It's hard to have faith in someone you saw fight demons much stronger than him. Hard to stay loyal to someone so far way as to be considered in another world entirely. No, this emotion she depended on to face her fears could only be one thing.
Courage.
Disclaimer: Characters originate from the story of Yu Yu Hakusho by Yoshihiro Togashi. Portrayal of Keiko intended as a part of the Unmaskings.