Alright. I do not own Ouran High School Host Club, if it isn't obvious. Okay. Here goes nothing.

I was running late. Really late. As in if-I-don't-get-my-little-butt-moving-my-little-butt-will-fired late. I sprinted across the expanse of pavement ahead of me. I paused quickly in front of my destination to check the time. I could probably make it to the meeting if I hurried, but there was no guarantee. Boss was going to kill me if I wasn't there. I was his right hand girl. He couldn't do anything without me.

I jumped into the basket without thinking. I'd been washing windows at Ouran Academy for years, so the basket was like a second home. Surprised you, didn't I? You thought I was rushing off to some big important meeting to help my boss seal a deal. I wish you were right. In reality, the meeting is just the weekly maintenance staff Hanafuda game. Boss was like my grandfather. I always helped him win. He was hopeless without me. The new building on my route had thrown me off. That's why I was late.

The new window was wider that I was used to. The basket wasn't any wider, though. I had to swing it to reach the entire window. The bucket water was sloshing all over the floor, and it was hard to get good footing. I was on the fourth floor when the bell rang. Crap. Maintenance workers were supposed to be invisible. Those rich brats were supposed to believe that their insanely expensive school wasn't a pain in my butt to keep looking pretty. Oh well, I guess they were going to get a wakeup call.

I swung my way down to the third floor where the infamous Ouran High school Host Club was in session. Surprised I know of them? You shouldn't be. You would have to be deaf and blind to be a teenage girl on campus every day and not know of them. It was the first time I'd seen the club in action, and it seemed as unimpressive as I'd thought it'd be. It was a couple of minutes before I began to draw a crowd. Of course there was the one moron that had his face pressed to the glass. Who was said idiot? Why said idiot was none other than the "king" of the club himself: Tamaki freaking Suoh. What an honor. Note the sarcasm.

He said something, but I couldn't hear him. I just made a motion that indicated that I couldn't hear him through the glass as I swung past him. Instead of letting it drop, can you guess what the imbecile did? He opened the freaking window! How he got a twenty foot high, fifteen foot wide, stained glass window to open is beyond me, but he did it. It was only cracked, though. This made it the perfect ramp for the basket. While I was midair, there was a moment of weightlessness. In those few milliseconds, I managed to lose my footing on the soap and water that covered floor. My legs slid out from under me and over the side. I grasped one of the few bars that constituted a safety railing before I went over the side. My faithful basket and I flew off of the surprisingly strong glass and into a brick wall. In the moment of agony when my legs hit the wall, I forgot where I was and rushed my hands to my legs. By the time I remembered where my hands were supposed to be, I was falling toward the earth like a rock.

When I hit the ground, it was excruciating. I landed legs first, so my broken legs turned into shattered legs. Have you ever shattered your legs? No? It sucks. It really, really sucks. To make it worse, I landed in the fountain. So not only did I shatter my legs but I also got soaked. Then, the weird dude in the middle of the fountain that's peeing for no seeable reason knocked the wind out of me. To top it all off I almost drowned in six inches of water, and that idiot Suoh had to save me. As I was lying on the pavement in agony waiting for a stupid ambulance that was taking forever to arrive, I glanced up at the clock. It was 4:30. I'd missed the Hanafuda game. This was officially the second worst day of my life.

The ambulance finally arrived, and I was rushed to the hospital. That's when I found out my legs were shattered. You know how a doctor sets a broken bone? With a shattered bone, you need surgery. It was a relief when they put me under. The pain slowly dissipated, and I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was in a sterile, white room. There was no guesswork involved. I knew a hospital when I smelled one. What I didn't expect were the seven people in the far corner of the room. Correction: the seven male people in the far corner of the room.

"I think she's awake," a dude with black hair and glasses said without looking up from his laptop.

"Really?" the blonde bimbo also known as Tamaki Suoh gushed. "Are you alright?"

"I fell off of the side of the third story of a building, because of you. I shattered both of my legs, because of you. I'm stuck in a hospital, because of you. Do you think I'm alright? I'm freaking miserable. Did I mention this is all your fault?" I seethed. He was taken aback by my sudden outburst. He tried to respond, but all that came out were incoherent stutters.

"You know," two ginger twins said at the same time, "She's right." That sent him over the edge. He fled to a dark corner and began to cultivate mushrooms or some other fungus.

"What's the verdict?" I asked no one in particular. The glasses dude decided to answer.

"Well, as you know, both of your legs were shattered so you'll be confined to a wheel chair for upwards of twelve weeks. Your left wrist is sprained, but it will only require a removable brace for about a week."

"What about my job?"

"If you don't mind cleaning windows in a wheel chair, then I see no reason while you have to stop working."

"I'm not stupid. What do I get in worker's comp, then?"

Just then, a man in a suit walked in. It had to be the maintenance head. I'd never met him before, but Boss and the others always talked about him. No one liked him, especially not me, but he was the key to my future.

"H-h-hello, sir," I stuttered.

"Hello. It is quite unfortunate we had to meet under these conditions," he sighed. "I am here to inform you that you will not be receiving any worker compensation for the accident. Under the circumstances, the board feels it is your fault the accident happened, not the school's."

"What?" I choked out. I was on the verge of tears. How was that freaking accident my fault? Without that money from worker's comp, I was going to be out on the street in days. Then, an even more frightening thought occurred: How was I going to pay for this hospital? I was too young to have insurance, and my parents' had run out for me when they died. I did have one other option, but that was a last resort.

I was escorted out of the hospital by a nurse. I began wheeling myself home. It was difficult with only one good arm, but hopefully I'd make it by dark. I heard footsteps behind me, but I decided to ignore them. As I began to turn the corner, they quickened. Soon enough, the king of dumb was in front of me. I was about to tell him off, when he bowed.

"I'm sorry about the accident," he said. "Would you let me wheel you home?"

I was still mad at him, but my arm was killing me, and he could be so dang charming. Apparently, the rest of the stupid host club was around the corner, because five seconds later, the entire host club was taking me home. I told them where to turn. As we got closer to my house, the frowns on their faces deepened. I was well aware that I lived in a bad part of town, but it wasn't that bad. I directed them to carry me up two flights of stairs to my apartment. I was about to close the door when glasses boy just had to speak up.

"I just realized," he said. "We know nothing about each other. Would you mind if we come in. It would be beneficial for our relationship."

"I want absolutely nothing to do with any of you," I told them, bluntly. "Now if you don't mind, I have things to do." With that, I slammed the door in their faces. I sighed and made my way into my kitchen. My kitchen was like the rest of my apartment: old and run down. There was an old refrigerator, a sink that backed up when the toilet flushed, and a trash can. A mattress in the corner was my bed. An ironing board served as a wrinkle remover and a table. Through an open doorway was the bathroom which consisted of a leaky toilet and a shower that never had any water pressure. I had a huge closet, though. It's called the floor. The only new thing I owned was my laptop, but that had been a gift. I didn't have much, but I was losing it all. That's when the automatic self-pity reflex kicked in. It hadn't activated in a while, but it came with a vengeance. It was nearly a week before I moved out of my kitchen.

*Six Days Later*

"Hello?" someone called from the other side of the door.

"It's open!" I called back. In came seven guys. If you're not a complete idiot, you've figured out which seven.

I saw their faces drop when they walked in. They probably were trying to hide it, but they were terrible actors.

"Princess!" the idiot screeched. "What are you doing living in such poverty!"

"Enjoying it while I still have it," I muttered bitterly.

"What do you mean by that?" glasses dude asked.

"I mean, that without workers comp I'm going to lose all of this. The electricity's gone, and the running water shuts off next week. I lose this place in a month. Even then, I'm a bazillion yen in debt because of that stupid hospital."

If it was possible, their mouths dropped more. It was as if the stupid little rich boys couldn't grasp that I was losing everything. They were too absorbed in throwing parties that they never ever cleaned up. I know firsthand, because I usually got roped into doing it with Boss and a couple others. That meant overtime for nothing extra, since Ouran didn't actually care if its employees were paid fairly.

"I won't stand for this," the idiot king said indignantly. "You are coming with me!" Then, He took my wheelchair, and took me right out of the apartment. The stairs were a killer. He didn't have the common sense to have someone help him take me down, so I was basically being wheeled straight down the stairs. There was a limo waiting for us there. Of course the pretty boys couldn't be caught in this neighborhood. Well, this time I couldn't blame them. They would probably get mugged in a minute.

"Where are you taking me?" I shrieked.

"To my house, of course, princess," the idiot king said. He was about to say something else when glasses dude spoke up.

"Now, what did you mean by 'losing everything'?" he asked.

"Are you deaf?" I said. "I meant in a month I have nothing but this wheelchair, the clothes on my back, and the pile of debt you so graciously bestowed upon me."

"Yes, but you understand that those expenses were necessary for your survival, correct?"

"Yes, but many of the tests you had them run were not. A diabetes test, really? As far as I understand, I was sent to an Ootori hospital and you are an Ootori. It must have been nice to take from the broke and give to the ridiculously rich, right?"

"How do you know who I am?" he asked.

"I could spot an Ootori from a mile away," I hissed. "Same perfect hair, same evil eyes, same smug look of superiority. It makes me sick."

The others looked as though I was the first person to leave him speechless. He just glared at me. I didn't even flinch. Eventually, he looked away. I was victorious.

"It's not like it matters anyways, I'm suing the school for more than enough to pay for everything."

"WHAT?!" seven guys screamed at once.

"I'm suing the school for about eight billion yen."

"On what grounds?" Ootori asked.

"A) Not giving me any workers compensation for an injury that was caused by faulty, outdated equipment that hasn't been replaced in over thirty years, B) Not paying minimum wage for the past fifty-three years, C) Not paying for overtime, ever, and D) Physical, mental, and emotional abuse. Need I say more?"

They were silent. I suppose none of them ever thought that Ouran was anything but wonderful. The limo then stopped in front of the Suoh estate. It was the second estate, but it was still fricking huge. What could possibly be in there was beyond me. Maybe they had a zoo. Some elephants would sure cheer me up. Maybe a giraffe. I love Africa.

Unfortunately, the mansion did not contain a zoo. It was just a bunch of boring rooms. We were in what I assumed to be the game room. Everyone except for me was on a couch. There was a pool table, several video game consoles, and an air hockey table spread out across the room.

"When can I go?" I asked.

"I will not allow you to live in such conditions!" the idiot cried. Ugh. I was never getting out of here. Then, my brain graced me with an amazing idea.

"Have any of you ever heard of Hanafuda?" most of them raised their hands. "Okay. We'll play a game. If I win, I get to go. If any of you win, I stay the night. Deal?" they all nodded their heads in agreement. Suckers.

Not fifteen minutes later I was getting a ride back to my apartment in a limo driven by a nice old man. The idiots hadn't stood a chance. If they weren't stupid enough for challenging me at a card game, they'd let me use my own cards. Their loss. The nice driver helped me in to my apartment before I was finally left alone.