Hello, my adoring fans!
Who probably are wondering why I insist that you all adore me.
Or that there's more than just Dianna rereading this because she's bored out there.
Well, that's because I like to think you care what I do.
Anyway, here's my attempt at an Ouran fanfiction.
I don't own any of the characters, settings included.
I don't own Michelle and Chamomile, who don't come in until chapter 2 anyway. They are actual people and I don't' command them.
I do, however, own Shashuko. She's me evil minion. She agreed to it. I command her!
And I own me.
Please read it!
And please, if you like it, even vaguely, please tell me because I want to know what you think. It's important to me as an author. (Even though this definitely isn't my best work.)
Anyway, here goes!
My phone rang.
"Um, Hello?"
"Is this Koushou Usuda…?" a voice I did not recognize asked me hesitantly.
"Yes," I said into my Kitty patterned Cell phone. "It is."
"Oh, good!!" The voice said, sounding incredibly enthusiastic. "I'm glad I got the right number. This is Shashuko!!"
"No way!!" I exclaimed. "Shashuko!? Really!!? I've never heard your voice before!!"
A voice laughed shrilly. "I know! I've never heard yours either!!! It's hard to hear when all you have is a letter!!"
I was talking to my pen pal, a girl who I had never seen, heard, or…seen. ( --' ) She lived in northern America, (I never could remember the state names or which one she came from.) and was incredibly infatuated with Japan. Which was where I lived. She had learned the whole language, and given herself a Japanese name, and a Japanese pen pal. (That's me!!) She said one day she would move to Japan, but she hadn't saved enough quite yet.
"Oh man, it's great to talk to you!" I said. "I'm glad I gave you my cell number."
"Me too!" Shashuko giggled happily. "But I really need to know, what school did you say you went to again? I totally forgot!!"
I laughed. "Why do you need to know that!?"
"Don't make fun of me!" Pouted Shashuko. I shook my head.
"I'm shaking my head at you, you know," I told her.
"Me too!" Shashuko said, and I knew she probably was.
"I go to Ouran." I told her.
She said nothing.
"Did you hear me?" I asked.
"Where are you now?"
"Why do you CARE?" I snorted. Shashuko was weeeeird. She said so herself.
"Hey, you're making fun of me again!!!"
"That's cuz I control you're life!!!" I giggled.
"Where are you." Shashuko repeated stubbornly.
"The third wing, I'm watching the host club."
"They have a host club at Ouran!?" I heard a loud hysteric laughter that sounded hyena-like. (A/n: shashuko admits to this.)
I grinned. "Yeah, they act pretty stupid, really, but the girls all fall for it!"
"Do yooouuu fall for it!?" Shashuko teased.
I blushed. "No!!!" I said hurriedly. There was no way I was gonna tell shashuko I had a crush on someone in a host club. Or that I even became a customer to him every once and a while. She was a Mormon, and would laugh at me. In her hyena voice.
"Okay, well bye!" Shashuko said, and then hung up before I could tell her to wait a minute.
I sighed, and went back to staring at…Haruhi. (A/n- she's the only crush-worthy character if you ask me. REMEMBER: I think Haruhi's a boy. I'm not lesb. Geez.)
The bell rang, and I turned away from Haruhi at last. Maybe tomorrow I'd request him again, just for thrills.
I took a few steps, and then something large and wearing an ugly yellow dress I recognized as the Ouran girl's uniform rammed into me at top speed.(A/n- I never did like those dresses.)
"Ow!" said a voice I vaguely recognized. "Who are you??"
"I'm Koushou," I replied. "You?"
"Shashuko!!!!!!!!!!!!" she replied rather muffled-ly (which isn't a word), as she was hugging me very tightly.
"Kya!!" I exclaimed, and hugged her back. "I can't believe it's you!!!!"
"I saved enough mooooney!!!" Shashuko sang at me.
"How did you get enough to come to Ouran!?" I asked excitedly. I couldn't' believe it- my pen pal, in person!!!
"I won the lottery."
"Whaaaaaaat?" I asked in disbelief. Talk about unimpressive ways to get rich fast, disgusting. But I didn't say this.
"I got like 10 million!!!"
I almost fell over. Did they even give that much out at lotteries? I rolled my eyes.
"So I came here."
"That's great shashuko, but didn't you hear the bell? It's time to start class," I reminded her, looking hurriedly at my watch.
"Oh yeah!!!" Shashuko yelled. "Gotta go!!!" she announced, already running off in a different direction.
I stepped into the classroom just in time, and sat down quickly. (Just for kicks, this is the same class that Haruhi and the twins are in.)
"WAAAAAAAH!!!!!" came a loud, loud, loud voice from outside the classroom. A tall girl with messy blonde hair and one or two zits (mwa ha ha) ran through the doorway and slumped, panting, into a free seat. Shashuko?! In my class? AWESOME!!!!! I tried to catch her eye, but to no avail.
"Aah, ms. Archer," the chairman announced pulling Shashuko back out of her seat. "I'll excuse your tardiness today, but try to be on time tomorrow. Now introduce yourself to the class, please."
"Um, okay," said shashuko, smiling happily. "I'm Shashuko Archer, From Utah. I like Anime and…fan fictions, and I was late because I went in an entirely wrong direction." She beamed out over the class as several students stifled sniggers.
The twins didn't. They laughed openly. (Haruhi shut them up with a swift kick in the shins.)
"You're in my class?" I exclaimed happily as Shashuko and I walked to lunch together.
"Apparently, yup!" Shashuko said loudly. (she said everything loudly, I was coming to realize.)
"It's great here, isn't it," I sighed.
"Yeah, I've only been here one day and I'm in love with the place." Shashuko sighed happily.
We walked in peace for a while, our footsteps echoing as we both marveled at the wonder of walking down a hall together.
That didn't last long.
"HARUHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!" came a yell from down the long corridor, and new footsteps, two pairs, came echoing rapidly toward us. A pretty boy with brown hair and large eyes shot past us, followed by a tall boy with sweeping dirty blond hair and a teddy bear with a blank stare. "WHY WON'T YOU HOLD KUMA-CHAAAAAN!!!!!"
"HE'S CREEPY!!!!!!" Haruhi, the boy with large eyes yelled back at Tamaki, the boy with the teddy bear.
"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAAAAAT???" Wailed Tamaki, as he caught up to Haruhi. (Who is a very slow runner.)
"How can I not." Muttered Haruhi, as he was dragged off by Tamaki.
"Wooow…" Shashuko sighed. "Who is he?"
"Which one?" I asked, though I had been staring at Haruhi.
"The tall, good-looking one," Shashuko giggled. (Strong but silenttee hee)
"Him?" I asked, rather surprised. "After that display?"
"He's gorgeous." Shashuko said, staring dreamily at the end of the corridor where he had disappeared.
At this time in the story, I want all personals to note that in no way is Shashuko the type to fawn over boys in this particular way, although she will occasionally pick a manga character who is particularly hot and obsess.
"He's Tamaki Suoh, his dad owns the school. I've heard rumors he grew up in France, but I never really found out if that was true." I stated. "He's the 'King' of the Host club, and receives second to best grades in his year."
Shashuko only seemed to have taken in his name, and-
"He's in the HOST CLUB?!" She squealed, jumping in little circles happily. "Let's go sign up now, now, NOW!!!!!!!!!!"
And that is how we both ended up host club customers. (Shashuko insisted I designate someone. Guess who?)
"Wow, Haruhi, what shampoo do you use on your hair?" a girl next to me gushed. I hadn't said anything so far, but I listened. (I wanted to know, too. --')
"My hair?" Haruhi reached up a hand and sort of lifted a bit of it as though not sure if that's what they were talking about. "I don't actually know. Tamaki and the twins always insist on shampooing it themselves, over a sink. (They seem to think they can do it better. Which, they probably can, but…)
"Wow!" Another girl piped up. "Can we get them to do ours?"
"You could ask," Said Haruhi thoughtfully. "I don't really understand what goes on in their brains, though."
I didn't either.
"Your hair cascades down your shapely neck as though it never ends…" Tamaki spouted to Shashuko. (Boys are fickle, have a pickle) she was obviously in her own little world. "If only we could spend more time together, I would-"
"Tamaki! Next shift!!!!" Kyouya called. (duhn duhn duhn)
Shashuko sort of floated away, as though in a daze, to meet me in the hall. "He's so…" she giggled dreamily as we walked down the hall.
"I know…" I said, my thoughts completely turned toward Haruhi.
"He said he liked my hair!" she gushed.
"He says that to everybody." I said, finally realizing that she was talking about Tamaki.
"But he really meant it, I could tell-"
"Aah, Usuda-san?" a voice came from behind us. I turned around and my heart nearly stopped. It was Haruhi. "I think you dropped this." He smiled and handed me my book. (For my own purposes, it was Harry Potter)
"Th-thank you." I stammered, staring at my book as though I'd never seen it before. (Which was saying something, knowing me and Harry Potter.)
"Haruhi?" Shashuko said suddenly. "Haruhi Fujioka?"
"Ah, yeah-" Haruhi looked at Shashuko. "Shashuko?"
"Yeah!" Shashuko looked excited. "How did you get in here, I didn't think you had enough money!"
"You're one to speak." Haruhi rolled his eyes. "How'd you get enough money?"
"Lottery." Shashuko explained.
"Scholarship." Haruhi explained right back.
"Wow, I knew you were smart, but…"
"Actually, I'm sorry, but can we talk some other time? I'm due somewhere else, and I really shouldn't be late…"
"Ok, I'll see you around then!" Shashuko said happily, swinging her bag and waving.
"Bye!" and Haruhi ran off the other direction.
"You know him? Where'd you meet him?" I asked, aghast that Shashuko knew Haruhi.
"Yeah, I know- what?" Shashuko stopped suddenly. "I know him?"
"Well, yeah, you were just talking to him as though you knew him-"
"I know Haruhi, but I don't know any hes here, gosh, I am Mormon you know," Shashuko snorted swinging her bag vigorously.
"Yes, Shashuko, I know." I said, rolling my eyes. "But that doesn't mean you can't meet guys."
"Anyway, what he were you talking about?"
"Haruhi."
"Haruhi? A he?"
"…Yeah"
And Shashuko laughed. And laughed. And laughed-
"STOP LAUGHING!!!!"
"Sorry, but, Haruhi a guy? Noooo way, I mean, she cut her hair, but a guy, ah hah hah!!!"
"Whoah, she??" I gasped, feeling slightly sick. "Haruhi's a girl???"
"Yeah, not the girliest, but no doubt she's female." Shashuko assured me. "I didn't recognize her at first because she cut her hair and dresses like that, but that's Haruhi. And Haruhi's a girl."
I think I fainted a bit at this point, but I can't really tell. I got back up a minute later anyway.
"So where did you meet…her?" I asked. The word her kept bothering me. It was like a pebble in my toe, it didn't feel quite right.
"I was visiting Japan, and I happened to stop in a park. She was there, and we talked for a while. I saw her there several times after that, and we became friends." Shashuko shrugged, then giggled. "She's in the host club, right? How'd she land that spot?"
"I don't know," I said hotly, having a hard time forgetting that I had crushed on…gulp her as much as all those other girls. (And now, for the purpose of my convenience, my crush on Haruhi is completely forgotten unless I need it for something. Poof!)
"Ah well, I'll have her over sometime, that'll be fun." Shashuko said, swinging her bag and hitting me in the arm.
"Ow."
I have a lack-of-plot disease. Or, at least, lack-of-attention-grabbing-plot disease. I can't come up with a single thing!! … AAAAH!!!!!! Ok…. Calm down, Stephanie… call Dianna, she always has a plot in mind- except she never finds the time to write them down.
…And Tada, Dianna pulls something out of her a- um, out of her… Awesome red hat.
And we continued to walk down the hallway. In silence. Neither of us could think what to say, it seemed. I was deep in thought about how the heck Haruhi could disguise herself as a boy. Though I didn't know it, Shashuko was humming eight days a week under her breath.
"Are you prepared to see your families fall to a common level?" a nasty voice sounded behind us.
"I-what?" I said, stopping abruptly and crossing my arms.
"Yup, there already there." Shashuko said, rolling her eyes.
"Why would they fall?" I asked, disgusted. "Who are you to-"
I turned around.
And found myself staring at a pair of the cruelest, coldest, most demonic eyes I'd ever had the misfortune to see with my own, the eyes of Kyoya Ohtori.
"They would fall," Kyoya explained slowly, (and menacingly.) "Because I would get under their feet and trip them."
"You'd trip our families because we took Haruhi who earns you money?" Shashuko asked, obviously confused.
Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, perceptive."
"Well what if we tell anyway?" I said, extremely angry at being talked to in such a way.
"Then I suggest you flee the country." Kyoya said, turning his back on us and making a note in his 'ledger of doom' as Shashuko puts it.
"Wonder what's on his ledger?" Shashuko asked.
"Probably a note to have us executed as soon as we open our mouths."
"Hee hee." And Shashuko opened her mouth as wide as she could.
I watched Kyoya as he walked slowly and evilly down the corridor. Then he ran into Haruhi. They exchanged what seemed like greetings, and Kyoya said something pointing at us and Haruhi put her head in her hands. By now Shashuko was watching too. Then Haruhi rolled her eyes and ran toward us. We quickly looked away.
"Kyoya threatened you with death and poverty for you and family members, didn't he," Haruhi said matter-of-factly.
"Uh, yeah," I replied.
"He said he would trip them!" Shashuko said indignantly, making Haruhi stare.
"Well he did," Shashuko pouted when Haruhi turned to me. (Sorry Shashuko!)
"Koushou, I think it better that you don't tell anyone, Kyoya might come down a little hard." She said in the breezy voice only Haruhi can use when talking about death and destruction.
"A little hard? He'll kill us!" Shashuko whined. (Shashuko is not so wussy, usually.)
"Yes," frowned Haruhi. "so I advise you to keep your mouth shut."
Neither of us could think of anything to say to this, and neither could the authoress. Soooo, we move on.
"Do you want to come over some time?" Shashuko asked.
"Huh?" Haruhi said, wondering vaguely how the topic had switched so fast. "Oh, sure. When?"
"Next paragraph. The authoress has nothing better to talk about." I said quickly.
"I-what?" Haruhi said, confused.
"Infact, why don't you stay for a sleepover? You too, Koushou." Shashuko said excitedly.
"Okay!" I said. I never pass up a chance to go to a sleepover.
"Alrighty then it's settled!"
Well, there's the first chapter. The button is right down there, press it and review to me! (As my minion Shashuko says, press the happy purple button! Although mine isn't purple.)
Please read the second chapter. After you do that, I really really need help. My plot comes to a stop. Review me with your ideas, details at the end of chapter two.