Severus was sitting in a corner and crying. As if life isn't hard enough, he thought bitterly. It's not fair.
His family had never treated him right, but he thought that at least here it would be different. At least at Hogwarts he could feel like he fit in. At least... with her. Now even that had been taken away from him. All because of...
"What are you crying for, Snivellus?" came an apparently cocky voice down the hall.
Severus looked away. "Go away," he whispered.
The arrogant sounding bespectacled boy didn't budge. "Hey, I just wanna say something," he said, something in his voice that the greasy-haired boy hadn't heard before. Was it sympathy?
"Make it quick, Potter," he sneered.
James sighed. "I've been thinking a lot lately," he said.
Severus laughed. "Thinking? You?"
"No, really. This is gonna sound idiotic. I've been through a lot lately," he went on ignoring his chuckles. "And it's made me realize some things."
Severus looked at him again. There was something about him that seemed a little more mature and grown up about his old bully. It seemed as if there was truly something he was trying to say.
"Get on with it," Severus grunted.
"I'm going to offer you something," James told him.
Severus waited. "What is it?"
"A truce."
"A truce?" asked Lily. "Wow, Sev."
"You're surprised," commented Severus.
"No," admitted the pretty red-head. "To be honest, I've noticed a change in him lately."
"You have?" inquired Severus wonderingly. "When? How so?"
"Well," she chirped cutely. "He does seem a little more mature ever since he came back this year. It makes me wonder if he's been through something during the summer that kind of, you know, made him a better person."
"Hmm," grunted Severus. "What book are you looking for?"
Lily paused shyly. "Well... Actually, James wanted me to pick up Quidditch Through the Ages for him."
Severus gasped, surprised. "What?!" he stumbled awkwardly.
Lily giggled. "You're so cute, Sev," she commented. "I've been meaning to tell you. He wants to meet us by the Quidditch field." she said this carefully, because Severus's face was turning a shade of furious crimson. "Sev, I know how you feel, but I think he's really trying to make friends with us. I think... I think we should give him a chance."
"Give him a chance?" spat Severus.
"Please, Sev," she begged. "For me? Please."
Severus sighed. "Lily, he's just a bully. He doesn't really care about... either of us."
"That's not true. I told you, he's been more mature lately. You guys can't hate each other's guts forever. Please, Severus. Can you just give him one chance? Promise me you will."
Severus swallowed his pride that felt like a burning fire of agony in his veins. "Fine," he managed. "For you."
She gave him a smile that made him almost forget his annoyance at James Potter. Almost.
"Hey there," James greeted the two new comers as he sat on a picnic spread by the Quidditch field. "I thought you weren't gonna show up on me."
Lily chuckled. Severus looked away, before remembering his promise to her. "Hi," he said making an effort.
Lily handed James the book. "Wow, this is nice," she commented gesturing to the picnic he'd put together. "Looks like you really went all out."
"Anything for my friends," said James uncharacteristically friendly. Severus had to wonder if he really did mean it, but remembered what him and Lily had discussed. Something had happened to him and he no longer seemed to be the bully of his past.
"Where are the rest of the Marauders?" wondered Lily.
"They went to Hogsmeade," James waved away. "We haven't really been getting along lately. We had some disagreements, and let's just say... I'm trying to figure out who my real friends are." He handed them sandwiches.
Severus was startled at this revelation. "Real friends?" he asked. "Us?"
"Well... yeah," said James. "Look, I know in the past I've been a real jerk, and I'm sorry. But right now, I really just want to get along. You know, hang out, have someone to talk to now that...I got kicked out."
"Kicked out?" asked Lily. "Of the Marauders?"
James took his time to answer. "It's a long story. I don't want to talk about now," his face turned dark and stormy as he looked away.
"I'm sorry," Lily commented sympathetically.
"That's a shame," Severus said trying again to be friendly. He hoped James didn't think he was being sarcastic as usual.
James gave a forced laugh. "Well, good thing I have you, eh?"
Lily and Severus tried to look encouraging. "Yeah, good thing," said Lily helpfully.
"Really good," echoed Severus.
"So how have you two?" James asked changing the subject abrubtly.
"Alright," said Severus without really thinking. "We were going to look for that vanashing room later... the Room of Requirement."
"Room of Requirement?" asked James somehwat excitedly. "I want to help! I know lots of secrets about this place."
"That'd be helpful!" Lily said politely. "We can all three of us look for it. Together."
"It'll be fun," said James.
Severus forced a smile. "Sure," he said. "Together. Fun. Let's do this." He decided he would try. For Lily's sake.
"That was bloody brilliant!" James said for the millionth time as the trio was scrubbing out cauldrons in detention.
"If only Professor Zelda hadn't caught us outside of class," Lily rolled her eyes.
"We should've gone at night," Severus muttered. "It's all James's fault." he said this playfully, hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way.
The black-haired boy seemed unaffected. "Come on guys, that was awesome!" he repeated.
Lily and Severus smiled, but deep inside wished that James hadn't dominated their expidition. Now they were in trouble for his less than clever way of executing it. He was so insistent that both Severus and Lily found it hard to ever tell him no without being... well, mean. And ever since he had confessed his story to them, they felt guilty to start a fight.
"Lily," Severus called over his shoulder. "I'd nearly forgotten to tell you. I got the chocolate frogs from Honeydukes. We can race them later tonight."
"Race them?" James piped up. "Wicked! Let's have a chocolate frog racing party in the Gryffindor common room at midnight."
Severus's heart sunk, his excitement suddenly plunging. He'd hoped to get Lily alone. They hadn't had a good private conversation in ages, the way they'd used to in the years before. He didn't want to be rude to James, he really wanted to try and be nice to him. But was he always going to be there now? Could he ever talk to Lily the same way again? He certainly wasn't going to in front of James.
"That sounds fun," said Lily. "I guess we can."
"Lily," said Severus, trying to get her attention. "Let's go get the rest of the cauldrons," he wanted to talk to her alone for a moment.
"Okay!" said James loudly. "Let's go." And that was how the three of them ended up heading to the cupboard instead of two.
Severus's heart was beating hard. He was dying to tell her what he had found out. He'd overheard a conversation from the "death eaters" saying they were going to do something "big" that night. He wanted to tell Lily about it. Tell her he was suspicous. He walked through the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room, wanting to have a discussion.
Then he saw her by the fireplace with James, talking about something.
He inwardly cursed. Couldn't they get two seconds alone anymore? Lily was his best friend. He'd known her for years, and James couldn't suddenly become one of them just because he'd decided he wanted to. Didn't he understand that? Wasn't it the same way with the Marauders? When Kenneth Creevey had tried to butt into their gang, they had been less than gracious about it. But James? James couldn't see why anyone possibly wouldn't want his presence. Giving people space wouldn't even cross his mind. He lacked basic tact and courtesy. Severus was fed up.
"Lily, I need to talk to you alone," he forced himself to say.
"Okay," said James, as if Severus had been talking to both of them. "What is it?"
"Alone!" barked Severus. He noticed with a cringe the chocolate frog on the ground that had been transformed to have a mustache. He'd made up that joke with Lily years ago and it had been their special thing. Of course this was just a little thing, but why did James have to butt into EVERYTHING little and big?
"Okay, okay," said James taken aback.
But Severus had had enough. "Forget it," he said turning away. "Nevermind." There had been a chance that he would have shared his knowledge with Lily, but now that chance was gone. Just like everything else good in his life, she had been taken away. And it was all because of a boy who couldn't think of how others might feel once in a while. He left the common room, deciding to join the other death eaters again. He wanted to be a part of what they were doing. They were the only part of his life that he felt was really still his.
"Sev? Sev can you hear me?"
Lily.
He tried to open his eyes. He could only see scarlet. What happened?
"They pushed you down the stairs. We thought you weren't going to make it."
His vision cleared. "Lily?"
"Severus! How could you be so stupid? How could you be so bloody stupid?" she was crying. Black lines of makeup tracked down her pretty cheeks. "Why did you think you could help them? They're the real bullies."
"When are you going to learn that we're your real friends?" That was when he saw the other person in the room. It was James.
"No you're not," Severus managed looking at James. "I gave you a chance and you didn't give me any respect. You just want everything for yourself and you don't think of other people or give them their space. Maybe sometimes I don't WANT to see you. Maybe sometimes we WANT to be alone. Maybe that's okay. Maybe you should have thought of that."
"Severus..." said Lily.
James looked at him with dead look in his eyes. "What do you mean? Lily and you are my best friends..."
"No, she's not!" yelled Severus forcing himself to sit upright. "Lily is MY best friend! You don't even know her! Just go away. I don't want to see you anymore."
James turned away and walked out the door.
"Good riddance," Severus said. He looked at Lily. "He's so annoying. He thinks he can butt into everything that everyone does just because he's loud and popular. He doesn't understand that some things between other people can be special."
"I know," said Lily. "But I'm sorry he had to learn that way. He was annoying, but you could have been nicer."
"Sorry," Severus groaned. "It's people like him that really make me mad sometimes. It's people like that that make me want..." he didn't finish that sentence.
"To be a death eater?" asked Lily quietly.
Silence.
The redhead got up slowly and slipped out the door. Before she left she said one thing. "You brok your promise, Sev."
