Alright, I'm guessing you've read Life Sucks and Vampires Shouldn't Sparkle (If you haven't, do so, because you will not understand this) and that you are all familiar with the character of Lara Jayne Swan. This is my attempt to ruin New Moon, hopefully with some extravagance, so I hope this works...

I don't own such blasphemy as Twilight...

Oh, and shout out to Lucy (I know your there) the oh so embarassing picture I scavenged of your face shall be deleted, begrudgingly, as promised.

Enjoy!

Summary: Sequel to Life Sucks and Vampires Shouldn't Sparkle. When Lara accidently falls back into her world in fury after a fight with Edward, how will the two survive when she gets into trouble out of his grasp?

Lara P.O.V

"Emmett. Emmett. Emmett. Emmett-"

"What, Lara?" He snapped.

"I'm bored." I deadpanned.

He stared at me, irritated. "That's not my problem."

"Actually, it kind of is."

"How?"

"You volenteered to 'Baby Sit the Human'." I quoted. Edward and his family had gone hunting for the weekend, and after punching Jessica solid in the jaw, again, I didn't have any friends other than the Cullens. Sadly.

"Well, can we watch Pokemon?" I asked.

"No."

"Big Bang Theory?"

"No."

"How I Met Your Mother?"

"Hell no."

"A horror movie?"

"No- Wait, which one?" He inquired.

"House of Wax?"

"Fuck no."

"Dammit!" I yelled, "How about-"

"No! Dude, I'm trying to watch football, be quiet!"

"That is not football." I scoffed, collapsing next to him on the couch. He looked at me, raising his eyebrow. That was the most intellegent I'd seen him look.

"How this not football?" He asked.

"Well, you play football with your feet, not your hands. This is like fancy rugby, with less rules against hitting and shit."

"I thought you were American!" Emmett yelled, finally losing it.

"My dad's English." I said with a grin. "How about we-"

"That's it!"

I cried out as Emmett slung me over his shoulder, and proceeded to kick and punch at him wildly, each thud leaving no affect on his enormous, invinceable body.

I then stopped struggling, because it was started to fucking hurt.

"Duuuuudddddeeeeee! Fucking put me dooooowwwwwnnnnnnn!" I screamed. Emmett chuckled, and grabbed one of the high stools from the kitchen, and then lugged me over to the front door. He set the chair down about three metres from the door itself, facing it, and then pulled the table that was beside the hall mirror, and positioned it next to the chair.

"Stay here." He instructed, in a suprisingly scary voice. It was almost a growl.

Was I that annoying?

He dropped me onto theh chair, and I stayed still, watching him as he practically swaggered back into the living room. Less than thiry seconds later, he emerged carrying a laptop that was turning on. I watched him wearily as he plugged in a pair of Skul Candy head phones. In his mouth, he held a roll of duct tape.

"Oh Hell no!" I shouted, jumping down from the stool and starting to run. After setting down the laptop and duct tape, Emmett grabbed me around the waist, with my obviously screeching like a banshee, and dropped me back in the chair.

The laptop chimed as it loaded, and Emmett evily picked up the duct tape, putting it first around my mouth.

After securing my legs and arms in the chair, he taped the head phones to my fucking hair and opened up youtube on the laptop.

I couldn't see what he typed in, but as soon as I heard Justin Bieber's 'Baby' pumping into my ears I started to scream.

Edward P.O.V

"I'll race you back." Jasper challenged stupidly, grinning at me.

"Sure, your on." It was just a way to get back to Lara quicker, anyway.

"No cheating, boys - you hear?" Esme lectured. With both murmured a 'yes mum' before taking off.

I stayed slow, running lazily beside Jasper just to tease the God of War, until I heard muffled cries cas we neared our large home.

"Dude is that-"

"Lara!" I growled, driving myself at full speed back, hearing the rest of my family speed up behind me.

I burst through the door, to come face to face with my love, tied to one of Esme's kitchen chairs with tape, headphones stuck to her head directing music from the laptop beside her.

A playlist had been selected on Emmett's accounts labled 'Torture', and Rebecca Black's 'Friday' had just started.

Tears were streaming down her face and she was frantically struggling, pleading at me inchorretly through the tape around her mouth.

I froze for a second before doubling over with laughter, soon being joined by the rest of my family before I flitted over and ripped off all the duct tape.

"Emmett!" Lara growled loudly, vaulting from the chair and sprinting up the stairs.

"Dammit, who let it go!" Emmett cried.

I had to get this in, I don't care if it's crap. The actual story will kick in next chapter, which will be soon, don't worry.

Alright, like, hate?

Review!

- INDIGO FATE