KagoYasha

Summary: This is basically just the InuYasha plot, but with a twist! There are some major character changes! Inuyasha is the boy with a freaky gay admirer/stalker freak (Hojo) that travels to the past through an enchanted toilet! Kagome is the bad-tempered half-miko who was betrayed by Inuyasha's reincarnate, Jaken! Plus; who the heck will take the place of Sesshomaru? None other than Kikyo, of course! And they're all after the Sacred Tetsusaiga!

Author's Note: Tehehee… I love messing with canon plots.

Chapter 1: The boy who overcame time and the girl that was just- Oh, forget it. This is way too complicated.

Hi! I'm Inuyasha Higusomething! I'm 15 years old and in the ninth grade, not that it's any of your business (unless you're some stalker freak- in that case, my worst fears are not the scary monster under my bed and I don't go to school alone; my imaginary friend comes with me)!

Anyway, I'm sad right now because our pet fish Buyo just recently died. I still remember when it happened. I just thought he had needed some air, so I took it out of his fish tank (how would the little critter breathe there?); and when I realized it stopped moving I screamed "No, Buyo, NO!" and cried.

My dad Sota threw him down the toilet, but I was convinced by my little sister Mom to go look for him for her sake. It just makes me so sad when she screams that loud- and it gives me a killer headache: my head hurts so much I can't think!

So I thought: "Hey! Why not stick my head in the toilet and see if I can find Buyo!" and I did. Then out of nowhere, I was transported into the past! How did I know this was the past? The voices in my head told me so! They also told me to go look for some comatose chick in a tree, so I did.

I found her soon, and she had some dead bugs all over her hair. They were so cute I couldn't help but touch them! After all- who wouldn't want to touch dead bugs? An insane person, that's who! Then, the girl spoke; and our meeting went like this:

Now not-so-comatose chick whose name I later found out to be Kagome: So… We finally meet again, Jaken!

Me: What? My name's not Jaken! It's Inuyasha!

Kagome: (senses him) You're right! Jaken's much more bishounen-y than you! Oh yeah, and I'm Kagome.

And that's how we met. I obviously released Kagome (Who wouldn't? She had this unique psycho killer look on her eyes that made me feel like if she was released she would kill me, so I tried to get on the good side of her list!) And then she saved me from this demon that had popped out of nowhere and pierced my abdomen while screaming "French toast! FREEENCH TOOAST!"

Then the most magical thing happened: out of my now-open belly came a really long sword! Kagome then saw the sword and went all "The Sacred Tetsusaiga! I thought it didn't exist anymore!", and she tried to attack me. But then, a priestess came and put a necklace on her and told me to shout a subduing word; which I did. I yelled "sit", and Kagome fell to the ground!

"Hi! I'm Rin, the priestess! I shall be your link to Kagome and Jaken's past from now on- seeing as we were siblings!"

"But you look so young," I said. Rin didn't look older than eight years old or something.

"Hey- this stuff happened only five weeks ago. Of course I'm still young! What did you expect? Kagome to be trapped in that fucking tree for decades or something? How the hell would she survive, you moron?"

Whoa. The girl was no pushover. And she sure as hell talked like a grown up. If she had so much wisdom on bad words, she must surely be one hell of a smart girl! I thought.

"Ehem," Rin continued. "I shall now tell you about Kagome and Jaken's tragic past. Kagome and Jaken had known each other for nearly two days. They had fallen deeply in love. But Jaken was no ordinary toad demon: he had to protect The Sacred Tetsusaiga! A sword coveted by both demons and humans alike because it had the power to protect the bearer from all kinds of Mary Sues!

"Then things got complicated: a demon appeared called Kagura, I think, who lusted for Jaken. She then tricked Kagome and her love, Jaken, to think they had been oh so cruelly betrayed by each other and whine like the little spoiled bastards I just knew they were form the start. Anyway, to keep the Tetsusaiga safe, Jaken ate it whole before he died by the hemorrhage caused by eating the Tetsusaiga whole (kind of stupid, now that you think about it). It seems like you are the reincarnation of my brother Jaken, Inuyasha!" Rin said.

I took a moment to digest the information. "…Wait a minute… I'm the reincarnation of a toad?"

"A toad demon, you jackass!" Rin defended herself.

"And if you're this demon's sister, why the hell are you human? And a priestess no less! Shouldn't you be another toad demon or something? And how the hell did you know my name before I told you?"

"Well, I- err, you see…

The end for now!

A/N: BWAHAHA! NOW YOU SHALL NEVER FIND OUT HOW THE FUCK A TOAD DEMON CAME TO HAVE A HUMAN PRIESTESS FOR A SISTER! (Frankly, I have no idea how it came to happen, either. Why the hell do you think I ended the chapter here?)

Anyways, same old shit: Read and Review! (Please.)