Original Character/OC-Fest Showdown, An HG Parody by Megalor9

Yeah, well, in my off-time, I decided to make this parody out of sheer boredom. This is solely for laughs, and this is my favorite type of writing, but not my best writing.

Make sure you know that this is a PARODY! I WILL NEVER EVER WRITE CHARACTERS AS BAD AS THIS. Never. Ever. I also don't own anything written by Suzanne Collins, nor own any lines from the movie.

So enjoy, and this will be multi-chaptered, so when you all review, make sure to put this on story alert. And favorite, if you would give me the honor. And try not to have your eyes burn out at the sheer Sue-ness. Mind your retinas.

I do not abandon stories that I work on, though, so expect chapters to come out every week, on Sundays when I update my SYOT.

Have fun reading,

~Megalor9

Chapter One

I quickly flip my long black hair over my shoulders, and look into the mirror. Yes, just as beautiful as ever. My deep violet eyes flash when I look into the mirror. Of course I'm beautiful. But how does Gale manage to resist me still?

I've had a crush on Gale since forever, since he's the hottest person on the planet Earth, and I've just been dying for five minutes to talk to him. But he still ignores me, and goes off into the woods to hunt with that ugly Katniss girl. She isn't as pretty as me. I wish I could just take her bow and arrow and shoot her through the heart.

Dashing into the washroom, I turn the tap on the huge bathtub for my daily bath of rose oils. Since my father is the mayor and the richest person in District Twelve, he has the money to afford all of my hygiene needs. After waiting several long minutes for the bath to be ready, I step into the tub and just relax. Relax. It's just reaping day.

See, reaping day is the day the Capitol comes in and chooses some kids to go fight to the death in the Hunger Games. Of course I'd never ever want to go into the Hunger Games, because you could actually get hurt in them. I'd never want to get hurt, or ruin my makeup. But everyday for four hours a day, I train with a variety of weapons so I can be prepared if my name gets called. I also met this guy one day, he was an 'author', but I don't know what that is. But anyway, this 'author' guy said that all Sues needed to train with every single type of weapon. So of course I've been training ever since then.

Hey, maybe that 'author' guy was actually a mystical being! He could've been telling me cosmic advice that would affect my whole future!

After bathing for twenty minutes, my father calls me from the living room of my mansion. "Honey, are you done bathing, because we have to leave super early to get to the reaping on time!"

I respond in my singsong voice, "Yes Daddy, I'm done. I'm just putting on makeup."

"Good," he says back. "We leave in an hour." Thank you daddy, I need just that much time to put on my makeup.

I start laying on eye shadow, and accenting my deep, mystifying violet eyes, applying blush to my face, polishing my nails with another purple shade, and painting on each nail a white star. I slip a few golden rings on my fingers. As soon as I finish my makeup, I locate my favorite necklace, a golden one with a large amethyst surrounded by silver banding. If I do end up going to the Capitol, I sure want to look nice doing it. Plus, I think I can use the amethyst necklace as a token, if the Gamemakers allow it.

My mirror serves as my most useful tool as I check that everything on my matching purple dress is straight. It was a gift from my mother, right before she died in a horrible mine accident. It was in her will to give this to me. It was worn by a District Twelve victor, who was my mother's sister. The dress was worn in District Three, during the Victory Tour that all victors have.

I make sure to add some perfume to my rose scent that I gained from the bath. I will be irresistible today. No one will forget my name. Even though I probably am not going to the Capitol, I still have to look great. I tell myself to just pause a couple seconds in front of the mirror. In my mind, I am perfection. All of my body curves, my weight, height, my body build; all of these come together to form a perfect person. Instead of taking a second to admire my job here, I take a while.

After spending ten minutes on this, I finally step outside, and call back to my father. "Ready to go now? I'm leaving!"

He replies, "Sure, I'm coming, honey." The mayor of District Twelve comes out, and grabs my arm. "Let's go."

As the mayor, he gets to come early to the reaping, which means I do, too. The dirt streets of District Twelve are still muddy from yesterday, and the smell of rain is in the air. There's nothing I can do, it could probably mask my beautiful perfumed scent. When my father and I round a corner, my foot finds a rock that seems to have appeared from nowhere.

I trip, in my high heels, and fall straight into a... mud puddle. No! My appearance! I'll have to fix it! I struggle to stand up, and finally my father's hand reaches down to help me up. When I come to my feet, I take a look at the absolute horror that has been set upon my clothes. I'm ruined! I immediately start sobbing, and notice a man in purple robes standing before me. He seems to have appeared out of nowhere, and is frowning at me.

A flashback starts in my mind. This is the 'author' guy that came to me. The man speaks now, "What did you just do now? Fall in a mud puddle?! I just spent four paragraphs, two hundred words about your appearance, and what do you do?! Fall in a mud puddle! How did you not see that coming! God, you're so airheaded."

I am shocked. This author is insulting me, and I don't like it. "Who are you to insult me? It was just an accident!"

"I spent three hundred words describing your appearance! I went through so much torture, and then you just fall in a mud puddle, that's why! I will never do that again, you hear me? Never! A curse will befall you; any clothes you wear shall be forever tainted with mud," the 'author' says, pointing a finger at me, then as quickly as he appeared, he mysteriously vanishes right before my eyes.

"Ha, like he could curse me," I say, trying to alleviate the fear that I see in my father's eyes. "Look, he couldn't curse me, he's just some old bat, nothing to fear. I think he's a mental patient of the Capitol, anyways."

"Okay, if that's it, then, do you need to go back to the house and clean?" My father asks.

I ponder it for a second, but then think of Gale. How Gale always sneaks out to the woods, and how he's a natural guy. "No, I'll be okay, I probably won't have to go to the Capitol anyways."

The rest of the walk there is uneventful, and no one even says anything to me about my ruined dress. Probably because most of the population of District Twelve has worse clothes than I am wearing now. No one gives me any attention, not even when I check into the reaping and take a standing spot among other sixteen years old. My father gives his standard speech, the one he gives every year, hoping that this year someone will win the Hunger Games from District Twelve.

The first reaping name is called out. "Primrose Everdeen", who is a sniveling twelve year old, and starts to sob when her name gets called.

"I volunteer! I volunteer!" A volunteering name calls out over the crowd. It's that one girl. The Katniss girl. The one I so despise. I hate her, she steals my Gale pretty much every day, and runs out into the woods. I would report her to the Peacekeepers, but they all buy food from her, and so does my father.

I take a quick second to remember the betting odds on the reaping this year. Number one person that had the greatest chance was Gale. Maybe, just maybe I could meet him if...

"I volunteer too!" I find myself yelling, trying to start up my stupid, but worthwhile, plan.

Katniss must value her own life, because she puts her hand down and says, "Well, she can go, then. I won't volunteer."

The person calling out the names, Effie Trinket, says clearly, "Well, that settles it, then. What's your name, girl?" Effie brings a microphone to my lips.

"My name is Anastasia Darling Pumpkin Queen DiMare, from District... Twelve," my words trail off as I realize I just volunteered for the Hunger Games. It's okay, I've trained, but it still gives me scary visions.

"Okay, Anastasia, you are District Twelve's female representative for the Hunger Games! And our male representative is... Gale Hawthorne! Gale, can please come up on stage for us!" Effie says in a piped up voice, that can only mean she's from the Capitol.

And my heart melts and jumps up into my throat at the same time. Gale just got reaped! Gale was reaped! I'll get to spend time with him, even if it means entering a fight to the death. It's Gale! Gale! GaleGaleGaleGale! I have to restrain myself from letting out a squeal of excitement. When I see him walk up onstage, shaking a little bit, but overall just plain beautiful, I stand up straighter, and try to act as confident as I can. I want to be the absolute best for the hunk that I'm now in the Hunger Games with.