They had fought for longer than they could discern by now. There was no sign of Aqua or Terra anywhere, not even of Xehanort. Ventus and Vanitas faced each other alone in the middle of the Graveyard, both exhausted by the intense battle, bleeding from the deep wounds that now covered their bodies. The more they struggled, the more Vanitas felt his existence fade away and he yearned for the moment when they would become one once again... But that moment never came and he did not understand why.
Ventus dropped to his knees, breathing deeply as he wiped the blood off his face. He stared at the other, realizing that he too had stopped moving. Vanitas was panting and only managed to stand up by leaning on his Keyblade, Void Gear. Kingdom Hearts remained in the sky but what had happened to the others was unknown by them.
"Why?" Vanitas asked suddenly. It was the first word he had muttered after such a long battle "Why... Are we still here?!"
Ventus did not answer, noting the way his enemy's body was increasingly being shrouded in shadows. Vanitas should not exist and yet there he was, defying this very possibility after being separated from his original self four years ago. As they clashed and with each passing minute Ventus felt as if the fractured part of his heart was slowly regenerating. Maybe the act of fighting was triggering this, but then why hadn't Vanitas disappeared yet?
"Join me, Ventus!" Screamed the black haired boy but he sounded nothing like before. He was not giving an order or trying to sound strong and undefeatable. He seemed to be asking for it, almost begging him to do it!
There was pain in his eyes. There was despair.
"Let's get this over with!"
It hurt so much.
The blonde stood up, fighting the urge to stay still due to the countless cuts that covered his skin. Vanitas held on to Void Gear, covered in sweat. Ventus swallowed hard.
"What's... What's the meaning of this?" Asked Ventus. He was in torment. He was sad and did not understand what was causing it or where that sudden pain in his very soul came from "For what purpose would the X-Blade be used?!"
Vanitas looked away. He himself did not understand the reason of it. He did not understand his own purpose, and for that he had done everything to get stronger and fight for the X-Blade. It was his only life goal, but he did not even know why.
"To start a war" he replied, making Ventus's eyes widen "The second Keyblade War. These are my Master's orders... Our master's orders. But you don't know that. Of course you don't know that!"
There was a deep sorrow in the way Vanitas spoke and that made Ven feel even worse. The shadows around him grew denser, a sign that his body would disappear as soon as they had finished joining together and even now, while that happened, a part of himself returned to his original form, to Ventus.
The blonde was going to say something but did not have time; Vanitas took his Keyblade off the ground and ran against him, throwing dark waves across the land and hitting him. Ven threw himself aside, straying from the other's onslaught, but he teleported back and forth swiftly and hit him again, knocking him to the ground.
"There... There is no way you could ever know, isn't that right, Ventus? You didn't have to live with this burden! You didn't have to suffer like me!" He attacked again, but Ventus regained his own keyblade and defended himself, deflecting the attack and rising to his feet.
"Burden... Vanitas, what are you-"
"Just finish this for once! Come on!" Insisted the other. He could feel himself weakening faster than before. If he did not return to Ventus here and now, he did not know what would happen to him and that scared him to death! Ventus felt that same fear as he looked at him.
"I... I do not know what you had to put up with-" Ventus said while defending himself, no longer attacking his other half "But it was not my fault, Vanitas! You cannot hurt my friends and bring forth a new war for something we can not control! "
"You really think I cannot ?!" He shouted in response, never stopping his attacks against the boy. He didn't care about what would happen when the X-Blade became real, he did not care what would happen to anything else. All he wanted was to get back to where he belonged, to be whole and to stop hurting so much! He fought not for a greater purpose but for his own salvation, and in that moment of wrath Ventus could feel it. And as Vanitas' feelings and thoughts slowly returned to Ventus, he remembered it.
He remembered the nights he spent awake, too tired to think but with his mind so exhausted that he could not bring himself to sleep. He remembered the things he would hear day after day while being humiliated, while his skin was torn countless times by the blade of Xehanort's Keyblade. He remembered of how he was left to die in the cold when he failed a task, of how terrified he felt when the Unversed began to emerge from him and how he killed them day after day, inflicting pain on himself until he could not stand it any longer and wept alone until the pain subsided. Ventus remembered everything, but that had not happened to him.
Those were Vanitas' memories. His other half's life.
The black haired boy was barely able to fight now. He felt relief for a few seconds but then a deep worry. Worry because as they joined together, their minds reached balance and he suddenly knew they could not bring the X-Blade to reality. It would only bring pain and misfortune. If they were to become one, they would lose control-
He let go of Void Gear, holding Ventus by his arms "You cannot let that happen!"
Ventus looked at him and Vanitas stared deep into his eyes. The blonde boy was crying.
"It was ... I-It was awful" He whispered, and put his hand on his chest. Vanitas had endured that torture and that feeling of emptiness for a long time. It was cruel and unfair to have gone through that while he lived happy at The Land of Departure "I... If... If I knew, I would have done anything to get you out of there!"
Vanitas's eyes widened in surprise. He would like to say something, but they didn't have much time "Ventus, if we become one like this, it will all be lost! The X-Blade can not exist!"
"What can we do?!" Exclaimed the boy.
"Only one of us can stay!" Answered Vanitas, bringing silence upon them. Ven looked at him not knowing how to react.
"No ... Vanitas, we both deserve to stay!"
"But only one can!" The fractured part of Ventus ran against him without his Keyblade. He began to attack him, striking him with his hands without stopping. They needed to act soon and if Ven wouldn't do it willingly, he would make him do it by force. Ventus wasn't expecting that and picked up Wayward Wind, defending himself as best as he could before starting to fight back.
Vanitas did not retrieve his weapon. He wanted to give all of his chances of survival to Ven, the only one who would have any possibility of future after all that. He was nothing, he had never been, and now he would become that again: Just a shadow of something that could have been and a memory to be forgotten.
For a few more minutes they faced each other. The union was almost ready, and Ventus did not stop fighting despite the tears that covered his eyes. He knew what he had to do but he did not want to, not after he understood what was happening and what had already happened. He did not want to but it was necessary and it was with anguish that he striked again, his keyblade tearing Vanitas's chest open, before he knocked him over and closed his hand around his neck. They both fell and Ventus, mad at the situation, proceeded to strangle him without realizing it.
Why did it have to end up like that? Vanitas ... Vanitas deserved to remain as one person. And Ventus, Ventus hated being the one to stay. He hated it because he knew that if it were not him, no one else could do it and for that reason he would have to kill someone who only wanted a chance of having a good life like he had had!
Why did he have to be the one to do it?! Why?!
"I-I'm s-sorry..." Ventus whispered, sinking his fingers deeper into Vanitas' throat. The black haired teen choked in his own saliva, his body begging for oxygen and his lungs collapsing "I-I did not want to ..."
He could feel the desperate throb of Vanitas's veins beneath his fingers. He tried to stop himself, tried to let him breathe, but something made him go on. Something forced him to go on, forced him to look at his other half while he took his life and when he grasped Ventus's arm tightly, now emitting only stifled moans, Ven understood why.
Vanitas wanted to die. Maybe it was the only thing he could do if he did not achieve his purpose and his gaze, though broken and sad, was that of relief. He was relieved because everything would finally end. He would be free of the pain, of the torment he had faced day after day. To realize this, to feel this made Ventus collapse in front of him, tears streaming down his face and dripping over his wounded body without stopping.
Ventus looked away, blaming himself all the time as Vanitas' fingers squeezed his arm with more and more desperation. He waited, waited in pain for what seemed like long minutes, apologizing all the time as if that might relieve the pain he inflicted... Then he felt Vanitas's fingers loosen and he stopped moving.
It was only then that Ventus finally let go of his neck and, shattered, looked at him.
The boy did not curb his sobs as he closed Vanitas's eyes and settled him in his arms, caressing his head. There were no more shadows around his body; the union had been broken now and forever. Ventus closed his eyes and stood there with him. For now, the X-Blade was unreachable but at that moment it did not matter anymore.
Ventus had felt everything that Vanitas had gone through while he lived with his family. Deep down, all of his anger and rage existed because he could not have the happiness he had always wanted. Beause he had never got the chance to be loved. And now, lifelessly held in Ventus' arms, he would never have.