A/N: I write this after typing out all of the lyrics; I dunno how to end it. And I also dunno who to use, I want to use a guy, because guys have eating disorders, too! I've made my decisions, and I know how to write this. I OWN NOTHING!
I lock the door
Turn all the water on
Bury that sound
So no one hears anything anymore
Everyone thought I loved myself, too much, even. But as I turned on the tap, the thoughts that filled my head can't even be repeated on my death bed. I walked towards the porcelain toilet and quietly lifted the seat, and disposed of my dinner the same way it had went in.
Mirror, lie to me, tell me you can see
Maybe you won't be able to recognize me now
I know you can feel all the things you steal
And you're taking it, and you're taking it
I stared at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. My hair was thinning and stringy, my cheek and collarbones prominent, but there was one thing my lifeless blue eyes focused on. A small imperfection on my stomach. I told myself that if I could get that to go away, I would be perfect, and my modelling agent would come crawling back once he saw me.
Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
Break it like it's even
When you're leaving and thin, where the hell have you been?
Well, sometimes it burns
Maybe I'll wash it out
It all looks so big
Never mind, I don't feel anything
My throat and lips burned. Grasping the plastic cup in my hand, I turned the cold tap on with the other. Then I remembered how much 'water weight' I had seen people gain and looked back at the imperfection, at the cup, and at the water, flowing freely. I would die for a sip of cold liquid to soothe the scratches that had formed in my throat over the years. I hesitantly turned the tap off, telling myself that it would all be worth it in the end.
And it only hurt a bit, but I still feel like shit
And I think you won't be able to recognize me, now
It's easier to quit, harder to admit
And you're pushing me, you're fucking pushing me!
As I walked down the familiar streets of Toronto, feeling terrible about myself. I wasn't stopped once by a single fan throughout my entire walk. I told myself that I didn't have a problem, that once I was perfect, I'd stop immediately.
Feeling so easy, make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
Break it like it's even
When you're leaving and thin, where the hell have you been?
'Cause you always win
You always win!
That's when I realized it. My sister wasn't killed by a drunk driver; she'd had the same problem I had! My parents didn't want to tell me the real reason of her demise; it would've hurt me too much! I was disgusted. This sickness I had…would it win this time, too?
Laughing like it works
Bleeding like it don't hurt
Knock you off your feet
Even if you need me
Tear you apart
And I hate how I need you
I was stronger. She was only 13 when she died, leaving her 6-year-old brother alone. I wasn't leaving anyone, and I was a 16-year-old male. I told myself that the pain was all in my head.
But that's when my legs gave out. I had collapsed in the middle of the dining room. Pain surged through every limb of my body, tears leaked unstoppably from my stinging eyes. I looked down at my body. It was now exactly how I'd wanted it to be. But would I be alive to enjoy it? Sure, Ana had given me what I wanted…but she had sold it to me with something irreplaceable.
Make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
Break it like it's even
When you're leaving and thin
Where the hell have you been?
I was leaving. I had been on my knees for Ana, over and over again.
You always win
I will burn all this
I was Justin, and I was now perfect.
But then everything slowly went dark, and I no longer was either of these things.
…This has taken 5 hours… *Sigh* It's not even that good! But wow, 2 deaths in 24 hours…I'd say it was my personal record, but I'll probably break it too soon… And, before anyone says it, bulimia is one of two subgroups of anorexia. The other is the restrictor type, the one most people think of as just plain anorexia.
I dunno what possessed me to do this, but the song is "Skin and Bones" by Marianas Trench. And take it easy on me; I've never really had an eating disorder (although I've been accused of it) and I'm only 14, so I probably got a few things wrong in here.