Kirio and Kuigi: Popstar Saga
Prologue
Peach's voice go foreign!
Hey! Welcome to the Kirby parody of SuperStar Saga! OH YEAH! Thank you The Great Chicken Miasma, Yoshizilla, and Lordluffy7 of the MerryGo for inspiration.
READ THEIR STORIES OR ELSE!
…Ok I'm pretty much done ranting…
On to the show!
At Peach's Castle!
"I'm bored!" Peach said.
"Um, a visitor, like, has turned up, um, at the, like, gates!" The Cappy Guard said to Peach.
"LET HIM AND OR HER IN!" Peach commanded.
So the Cappy Guard went to the gate and opened it! A creepy… ghostly… giant…
Cappy…walked in, along with a green Cappy!
"I BRING GIFTS! GYAHAHA! THIS IS THE LEGENDARY SHOO BOX!" The green Cappy said. "DON'T OPEN IT OR FACE SEVERE GAS ATTACKS!"
"Give me it!" Peach said, taking it and opening it, ignoring the yelling of warnings from the green cappy.
Suddenly a lever appeared! Peach pulled it! YAY! But then gas squirted from the box! AW! But then everyone was like 'wow' so…YAY! But then the giant green Cappy turned into… A GIANT GREEN CHIP! And it laughed! AW! But everyone fled! YAY! Wait, no that's bad…
And then they took Peach's voice and stuffed the Shoo Box in her vocal cords, where it exploded somehow! Maybe because it was made in some Spanish town and someone made it explode at that time? Well, anyway now Peach speaks in Spanish!
"Oh shit! I gotta warn Kirio!" A Cappy Retainer said.
At Kirio's House!
The Cappy Retainer came racing by Kuigi, who was doing the laundry! Well, trying to do the laundry at least. He was kicking the clothes.
"CLEAN DAMNIT, CLEAN! WASHIFICATE!" Kuigi yelled frustratingly.
"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Cappy Retainer yelled.
We now cut inside Kirio's house! (Takes out a little chainsaw and cuts the door open.)
"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Cappy Retainer yelled, now walking up the stairs!
"I NEED TO WATCH TV! WHERE'S YOUR ROOM?... Ooh, a bathroom!" The clueless Cappy said. Little did he hear the REALLY LOUD HUMMING THAT WAS COMING FROM THE BATHROOM. HECK, YOU CAN HEAR IT TOO, FROM WHERE YOU ARE! LISTEN!
Hum…la………ho…crap! …Cappy!
Oh wait, that's sounds of anger now.
The Cappy Retainer suddenly race out and smashed into a wardrobe! Kirio promptly came out of the bathroom!
"Next time you come in the bathroom, KNOCK!" Kirio said, kicking the Cappy's unconscious body in unison with every syllable said in that sentence!
"P-p-p-p…" The Cappy mumbled.
Kirio kicked him 3 times every syllable now! "What? Tell me, or else I'll sit on you!"
"OH HELL NO! YOU AIN'T SITTING ON ME! YOU FAT! It's Princess Peach by the way." The Cappy yelled.
"Princess?" Kirio said, letting the meaning sink into his brain.
13 minutes later...
"PRINCESS!" Kirio yelled, racing out of the massacred door, smashing into Kuigi, who got dragged along somehow with some rope.
At the Castle!
A really fat penguin was hopping up and down!
Kirio was walking SLOWLY when Kuigi decided to be an ass and poke the penguin!
"HEY! THAT HURT!" The penguin yelled. It turned out to be Bowser, king of the Koopas!
"Sneak attacker!"
Battle Start! Let's go!
Bowser blew flames at Kirio! Kirio just stepped to the left.
"Dude, I need to talk to the princess." Kirio told Bowser.
"No you don't! You fat! YOU CAN'T PASS!" Bowser replied.
"No, you fat!" Kirio.
"You!" Bowser.
"You!" Kirio.
"You fatter than me!" Bowser…
"Nuh uh!"
"Yuh huh!"
"Oh don't you yuh huh my nuh uh!" Kirio FINALLY said, ending the conversation, and prompting him to smash Bowser into a wall.
End Battle! Wow, that was so…well, not climatic. Hell, all that happened is someone being smashed into a wall. I mean, what's so exciting about that?
A dazed Bowser promptly said something that was really appropriate! "Ow."
Kirio was furious! "What's wrong with the Princess!"
Suddenly the princess spoke something! "Kirio! Je suis si heureux vous êtes ici! (1)"
"What did the princess say?" Kuigi questioned!
"¡Dije que estoy alegre que Kirio y usted están aquí, usted idiota! (2)" The princess yelled at Kuigi.
"That's what we've brought you here! You must seek revenge for the princess! Atleast, that's what she said, I think." The Cappy Translator said.
"¡No, dije que él debe comprar una poción de la curación en la tienda! (3)" Peach said to the translator.
"Now she says that she wants a pie made from curry!" The royal translator said.
"¡Cuando sé hablar normalmente, usted es así que encendido! (4)" Peach said to the translator.
"Why thank you for that compliment!" The translator said.
"¡cUsted ES El TRADUCTOR PEOR I COULD'VE EMPLEADO SIEMPRE, USTED RETRASO El COGER! (5)" Peach yelled furiously.
"Well, how do we cure her?" Kirio questioned.
"¡Finalmente¡Una pregunta elegante! (6)" Peach yelled, relieved.
"Give her a pie? I don't know. Maybe we have to go to our neighboring kingdom, Bombomb Kingdom?" Kuigi said to Kirio.
"¿Está eso realmente usted, Kuigi? Está usted una copia o algo, porque el Kuigi que conozco es muy estúpido. (7)" Peach asked Kuigi.
"Anyway, we'll just get a Language Bomb at Crashcrash Kingdom and give it to Peach! She'll be cured!" Kirio concluded.
Bowser snapped from his daze! "I second that! If I kidnap her, she'll confuse everyone who comes near her!" Bowser said.
"Soy bastante seguro que es un insulto, pero lo dejaré resbalar este vez, muchacho gordo. (8)" Peach said testily.
"You know, I can bring you in my Penguin Cruiser!" Bowser said, pointing outside of Cappy Plaza.
"Thanks Bowser, but I'm still not your friend. In fact…" Kirio said, then kicking Bowser in the shin, stealing his keys, and ran away.
"HEY!" Bowser screamed.
"Bien, atleast él es mi héroe. (9)" Peach said.
At Cappy Plaza!
Kirio was walking down to the Penguin Cruiser with Kuigi close behind yelling "Kalloso keya ha cono braho!" with pictures of Bowser in a text box above him! Kirio finally just broke into a mad dash, leaving him behind.
Somehow, Bowser's fat ass got there before Kirio's!
"KOOPA TROOPS ASSEMBLE!"
Suddenly, about 10 Koopa Troops appeared! That's not a lot!
"Well, I'm gonna go raid the fridge! Bye!" Kuigi said, running away.
"HEY! AFTER HIM!"
Everyone rushed into the Penguin Cruiser, and used the mechanical hand grab to grab Kuigi!
"Aw nuts!" Kuigi said, being pulled into the Penguin Cruiser! And so begins their adventure!
Phew! That finishes that chapter, I guess. Woo. If you were wondering what Peach was saying…
(1) Kirio! I'm so glad you're here!
(2) I said I'm glad that Kirio and you are here, you idiot!
(3) No, I said that he should buy a cure potion at the shop!
(4) When I can speak normally, you are so fired!
(5) YOU ARE THE WORST TRANLATOR I COULD'VE EVER HIRED, YOU FUCKING RETARD!
(6) Finally! A smart question!
(7) Is that really you, Kuigi? Are you a clone or something, because the Kuigi I know is very stupid.
(8) I'm pretty sure that's an insult, but I'll let it slide this time, fat boy.
(9) Well, atleast he's my hero.
Anyway, I hoped you like this. This is Mystic, reminding you to REVIEW!