Blood Born

A/N: Warning, this is un-beated. Also, this is a true story. I am happy to report all tests came back negative.

Summery: There are some dangers to the job that are often over looked... until they happen.

"How you doing?" Roy asked his partner as he handed him a mug of fresh coffee.

Johnny took the coffee automatically, his movement stiff and expression unchanging. He stared blankly at the wall just past Roy's head, suddenly fascinated by the wall of the break room that he had seen a thousands times before. He set the coffee in front of him, wrapping his hands around it but not daring to take a sip. He was fighting the urge to vomit and losing, it was too risky to take a drink. Heck, he couldn't even bring himself to speak so he simply shrugged his shoulders in answer to partner's question.

Roy swallowed back a sigh as he took a seat across from his best friend and partner. He studied the younger man for a long moment, concern clear in his expression. Johnny's eyes were red rimmed from the saline that had been used to flush them clean. His face and arms had that 'just scrubbed' look to them and his uniform shirt had been removed leaving him in his under shirt and work pants. His hair was disheveled, and he appeared to be a mess, but he was still a fair cry better looking than he had been an hour ago. He was still going to need a very long and very hot shower though.

"Dr. Early says it's a low risk exposure. That the chances of you getting anything form the splash to your face is miniscule. And the patient didn't have any red flags in his medical history," Roy offered, trying his hardest to reassure the worried man.

Johnny sighed, tired and defeated. He looked away from the wall and down to his hands, and for a moment he had to fight the urge to wash them again. His mind still saw blood covering them. "I know Roy," he finally managed to say softly; it was the only thing he had the energy to offer his partner. A simple, often considered flippant statement.

But he did know. He knew that the all the odds were in his favor. He knew that the chances of catching anything were slim. He knew that his patient was a low risk for any disease, and the percentages and numbers were all running through his mind… But he also knew that it took six months to a year to be officially cleared.

He also knew that the man's artery ruptured and sprayed him in blood. He also knew that for five horrible minuets he was the one pressing down on the wound willing the blood to stay inside. He was the one who felt the weakening pulse as the warm liquid squished between his fingers; fingers that had no gloves to cover them. And just as he always knew he would be, his partner was there as soon as he could be, tying a tourniquet.

But what he didn't know was that Roy's angle had been bad. That he hadn't tied enough pressure to the wound. And so when Johnny moved his hand, the blood had followed. It struck him in his face, hitting his eyes and nose, and, worst of all, his mouth. He ignored that though, in the moment, he pushed all that away instantly putting pressure back on the wound.

He felt Roy's hand on his shoulder as he and the attendants began the mad dash into the ER. He knew the moment he heard Dr. Brackett and Dixie that it was going to be okay. He only had to hold on a little longer, and he did until Dixie took him by the arm and said to let go.

Dixie had lead him to the break room and told him to sit down and he had done so, automatically. His mind was still racing, still playing though the events and trying to figure out how this had happened, and what he and Roy had done… and that was when he got his first look at himself in the mirror.

Boy, did he know.

"Johnny… It's okay," Roy said softly, "It's over now. The victim's safe, you're safe, it's over now."

Johnny shook his head, "Not for another six months Roy."

Roy swallowed back what he was going to say. Johnny wasn't being difficult, and he knew that. Johnny was trying to process what had happened and was having a hard time doing so. Experience told him to give the younger man time and silence to let him have his own thoughts but don't leave him alone. And don't let him dwell.

"They've cleared us to go back out. Do you want a few more minuets or are you ready?" Roy asked softly.

Johnny sighed and bowed his head with his shoulders slumped. He looked defeated. "Why do we do this Roy? Why do we risk so much for a paycheck?" he asked, a little angry.

"Would you do it again?" Roy asked after a pause.

With out hesitation came Johnny's toneless reply, "Yes."

"Even if it happened just like this? Even if the patient had something wrong with their blood?" Roy pressed.

Again, the unhesitating reply was, "Yes."

"It's not about the paycheck," Roy answered softly. He could have elaborated and spoken about the call each of them had, had. He could have talked about his 'ah-ha' moment when he knew this was right and this was good for him. He could do the PR thing and explain how it was for the good of their community. He could, but he didn't need to. Johnny understood. Johnny really did know why they did this after all, he just needed to vent the words.

"Are you ready?" Roy asked again, after a long moment.

Johnny shook his head and wiped his hands over his face. "No," he said tonelessly, "but go ahead. Just tell 'em that I need a shower first."

Roy gave him a tired half smile, "Already did partner. We've got an hour for decon and the guys have diner ready for us."

"Phoned ahead, did you?" Johnny replied with a smirk of his own.

"Yeah. I had to tell the Cap about what had happened. Cap offered to find someone to come in for you…."

Johnny shook his head. "Nah. Shifts almost over anyways. I'll be okay."

And with those words, Roy swallowed a sigh of relief. Johnny was starting to come back around but he was going to have to watch him to make sure this new weight didn't crush him.

End.