I still couldn't come to terms with Owen's and Toshiko's deaths. After the funeral, Gwen had gone on a two-week holiday with Rhys, and returned as bright as a button. Jack almost instantly had over it, seemingly at least. But me, it had hit me hard, brought back too many painful memories I keep thinking of how Owen and Toshiko must of felt, it was unbearable. I'm at the end of my tether. I don't think I can lose someone else. I had to get out, now!
It's 1am I'm sitting down in the hub pretending to do paperwork. Jack's in his office. I make my way up I have something I need to tell him.
"Sir I want to leave."
"What the fuck? Where has this come from?" John knocked on the door, he has agreed to stay and help until we recruit new people. "Not now!" Jack shouted.
"You and eye candy having some trouble." John smirked undeterred by Jacks glare.
"Not now John!"
"I'm going, I'm going." John put his hands up as he backed away. "Hope you like the make up sex, he's great."
"John!"
"Okay gone see?"
"Finally." Jack sighed with relief.
"Sir, I'm leaving."
"Sit down Ianto." We gazed at each other, eventually I sat. He took a place on the desk in front of me. "What has brought this on?"
"I can't stop thinking about Tosh and Owen. Images wont stop haunting me Jack. You just act like nothing happened, but they're gone just like Lisa." The fragile tea-boy burst into tears; quickly he regained control of his emotions.
"Oh, Ianto."
"Sorry, sir. I can't watch someone else die. Every time I se you die." he raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Yes you the immortal Captain Jack Harkness. It's stupid; I know you'll come back to life. It doesn't stop me though Jack. It doesn't stop me break every time I see your lifeless body. I can't stand it, the thought of you leaving me for just one second. I hate it Jack. I hate it!"
"Ianto listen to me." He takes my hands in his. "I will never ever leave you. I am always yours." I removed my hands from his strong comforting grip.
"Well I'm sorry sir, but I want to leave Torchwood. Leave…you." The last word was a mere whisper, but to Jack it was as if Ianto shouted it at him. He pulls me up, easily turning me and placing me on his lap. His warms arms cradle me, soothing the agony inside of my heart. It fades, but I know it wont be for long.
"Ianto Jones. I wont let you leave. I cannot lose another team member, especially not one that I love." My heart skipped a beat as he said those precious words I always longed to hear. "We can get through this."
"No Jack we can't." I shook my head convincing myself that the words I said were true. "We can't."
Then Jack carefully kissed up my neck. Cute kisses that he knew would give me shivers make me forget all of my worries. His tender hands ran up and down my waist.
"I. Will. Never. Let. You. Go." He muttered between kisses. Then his hands ventured down to my crotch, making tiny circles around my zip area.
"Jack, don't." I pleaded.
"Ianto Jones you are going nowhere." His voice resounded authority. He pressed down, only slightly, before laughing. He knew the effect he had on me. He was so unfair to use himself against me in this way. To use my love for him against me.
"I hate you Captain Jack Harkness!" He pushed me back on top the chair, settling himself on top of me. Our lips merely whiskers away.
"No you don't!" Then, eagerly he connected our mouths. Duelling with my tongue, of course I let him win, like he knew I would. Finally, he pulled away so that I could breath, not that air was my main concern. As I gulped in, he pressed his crotch against me. I swear he could feel the shivers that tingled up my spine.
"No I don't." Again, he took my breath away with his embrace. Bloody manipulative prick! I wouldn't want him any other way.